Tag Archives: low self esteem

What Taking Care of Yourself Really Means – Elizabeth Gilbert

Posted on August 29, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/Elizabeth-Gilbert-Practical-Ways-To-Practice-Self-Care?FB=fb_sss_gilbert_self_care Click on the link above for this vitally important and approachable piece by Liz Gilbert (‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and ‘Big Magic’) on how to make sense of the – so difficult for so many – idea of loving yourself:- … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embodiment, empathy, encounter, fear, healing, identity, kindness & compassion, love, Mary Oliver, metaphor & dream, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shame, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged abuse and trauma, abused, affordable counselling exeter, beyond fear, Big Magic, blame cycles, blame model, caring for yourself, Cole Porter, communicating affection, communicating love, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative living, dealing with abuse, dealing with trauma, desperation, edge of terror, effect of lack of love, Elizabeth Gilbert, engaging with agitation, experiencing loneliness, experiencing stress, expressing affection, expressing love, fear of abandonment, fear of being abandoned, fear of being hurt, fear of being left, fear of hurt, how do I love myself, how to love, inner animal, lack of love, Liz Gilbert, loving care, loving yourself, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, managing abuse, Mary Oliver, merely mammals, neglect, neglected animal, neuroses, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, playing, practicing self care, practising self care, raising self esteem, responding to agitation, responding to trauma, Self, self abandonment, self abuse, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self harm, self hatred, self love, self neglect, self stewardship, self-responsibility, shame and blame, shame cycles, showing affection, showing love, soft animal, taking care of your animal, taking care of yourself, tenderness, terror, trauma response, traumatisation, traumatization, traumatized animal, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Kristina Kuzmic on valuing & offering our gifts

Posted on July 30, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

We like this. There’s a lot of positivity/law of attraction stuff around which seems unhelpful or even toxic – implying that, of we cannot feel better or improve our lives, we are somehow deficient or not trying hard enough … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, community, compassion, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, emotions, empowerment, encounter, gratitude, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, risk, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, vulnerability | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, belonging, community, conditions of worth, connectedness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, despair, empowering, empowerment, encounter, generosity, giving our gifts, hopelessness, human narratives, immediacy, importance of relationship, interbeing, interconnection, Kristina Kuzmic, law of attraction, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, negative emotion, negative feeling, negativity, offering our gifts, overriding feelings, overriding needs, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, positivity, presence, resilience, self accompaniment, self compassion, self concept, self esteeem, self support, suppressing emotion, suppressing feeling, telling ourselves stories, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Gil Bailie on the Crucifixion & Blame

Posted on April 15, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“The surest way to miss the link between the cure (the crucifixion and its aftereffects) and the disease (the structures of scapegoating violence upon which all human social arrangements have depended) is to read the passion story with an eye … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, awakening, blaming, bullying, civil rights, community, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, core conditions, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, ethics, external locus, fear, guilt, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, objectification, perception, person centred, person centred theory, political, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, spirituality, trauma, trust, violence | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aggression of blame, blame, blame and responsibility, blaming, collective responsibility, collective scapegoating, collective shadow, commitment to self, compassion, conditional love, conditions of worth, connection, contempt of others, core beliefs, core conditions, core wounding, core wounds, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural projection, cultural violence, empathic connection, empathic failure, empathy, encounter, expanding awareness, failure of empathy, finger pointing, Gil Bailie, hopelessness, human limitations, human needs, invalidation, inward enquiry, inwards enquiry, kindness, lack of validation, Lived Experience, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, meaning of evil, meaning of the crucifixion, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, not good enough, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal development, personal responsibility, personal shadow, phenomenological approach, presence, projecting, projecting shadow, projection, relationship, religious violence, sacred violence, scapegoating, self awareness, self blame, self care, self compassion, self concept, self contempt, self enquiry, self esteem, self expression, self judgement, self judgment, self perception, self worth, self-responsibility, self-structure, separation, shame, shaming, spirituality, suppressing need, suppressing self expression, trust, unlived life, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, Violence Unveiled, wholeness, withdrawal, witnessing, worth as a person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘Trump, Clinton and Trauma’ Gabor Maté

Posted on March 2, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Trump, Clinton and Trauma Click on the link above for this perceptive, accurate and topical article from Gabor from last October – before the U.S. presidential result – on trauma markers in our political leaders, and how levels of trauma … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, bullying, child development, childhood abuse, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, cultural questions, diagnoses of ADHD, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, growing up, identity, parenting, political, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, trauma | Tagged abusive parenting, adapted child, addictive behaviour, ADHD, adult personality, affordable counselling exeter, Art of the Deal, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, authenticity, authoritarian, authoritarian traits, autocratic traits, bullying, child personality, childhood trauma, cold heartedness, compensating patterns, competitive, conditions of worth, conviction of weakness, coping mechanisms, core fear, core pain, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural emotional underdevelopment, denial of trauma, denying reality, developing impulse control, dismissive parent, distorted emotional development, distorted reality, distorting experience, distorting reality, dogmatism, Donald Trump, early trauma, emotional abuse, emotional coldness, emotional development, emotionally cold parent, empathy, eruptions of rage, escaping from pain, false persona, feeling emotion, forming a persona, Gabor Mate, grandiose behaviour, grandiosity, harsh environment, helpless child, inability to concentrate, inability to pay attention, inauthenticity, indicators of trauma, infantile self regard, insulation against reality, John Ibbitson, judgemental parenting, Kevin Dutton, labeling, labelling, lack of nurture, lack of nurturing care, lack of principles, learned behaviour, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, lying as personality trait, manipulation, markers of trauma, mental states, misogyny, mode of survival, mother wound, motor mouth, narcissistic obsession, narcissistic personality disorder, negative self worth, negative sense of self worth, no early memory, no memories of childhood, not paying attention, NPD, obsessive behaviour, opaque persona, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, poor concentration, poor impulse control, poor recall of childhood, psychiatric labelling, psychiatric labels, public self destruction, reality denial, regulating emotions, repressing awareness, repressing experience, repressing memory, repressing pain, revenge on mother, seductiveness, self centered impulsivity, self concept, self destructing, self image, self obsession, self promotion, self protection, self-structure, short attention span, Stephen Harper, suppressing awareness, suppressing experience, suppressing memory, suppressing pain, survival mechanisms, survival modes, Tony Schwartz, traits of psychopathy, trauma defences, trauma indicators, trauma manifestations, trauma markers, tuning out, tuning out as a way of coping with emotional hurt, tuning out as a way of coping with stress, unconscious beliefs, value of competition, verbal abuse, verbal patterns, verbally abusive parent, well nurtured children, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Lao Tzu on presence and awareness

Posted on September 2, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘Do you think that you can clear your mind by sitting constantly in silent meditation? This makes your mind narrow, not clear. Integral awareness is fluid and adaptable, present in all places and at all times. That is true meditation… … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, consciousness, core conditions, Disconnection, emotions, encounter, fear, flow, grief, growth, healing, Lao Tsu, loss, meditation, mindfulness, non-directive counselling, perception, presence, sadness & pain, self esteem, shame, spirituality, surrender, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trust, working with clients | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, avoiding difficult feeling, awareness, core conditions, counselling exeter, counselling process, counselling relationship, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, distracting, encounter, enlightenment, flow of awareness, integral awareness, Lao Tse, Lao Tsu, Lao Tzu, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, meditation, mindfulness, numbing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, presence, shame, tao, Taoism, therapeutic encounter, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, therapeutic work, working with difficult feeling, working with shame, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Liz Gilbert on how to hold ourselves lovingly when life’s tough

Posted on August 8, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link for this Facebook post by Liz Gilbert (of ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ fame). We posted something from Liz not that long ago – and this feels important, so here is another… People who come to this service … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, blaming, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, emotions, empathy, empowerment, grief, growth, guilt, kindness & compassion, love, Palace Gate Counselling Service, presence, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, transformation, trauma, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged acceptance, accountability, affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, awakening, beautiful freak, being broken, being emotional, being judgmental, being sensitive, being with difficult feeling, brokenness, causing pain to others, compassion, confusion, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dealing with crisis, dealing with divorce, dealing with loss, denial, deserving love, difficult emotion, difficult feeling, distortion, divorce, Elizabeth Gilbert, embarrassment, emotional endurance, empathy, family illness, feeling broken, feeling shame, forgiveness, grace, grief, grieving, haters, hating, hatred, human struggle, hurting others, kindness, kindness to self, Liz Gilbert, loss, love, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, managing crisis, maturing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, practicing self love, radical self acceptance, radical self love, regret, remorse, repression, responding to crisis, self abuse, self acceptance, self attack, self awareness, self care, self compassion, self criticism, self degradation, self doubt, self empathy, self esteem, self hatred, self honesty, self love, self-responsibility, shame, strong emotion, suffering, tenderness, transformation, uncertainty, wishing you were different, withholding, withholding love, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘The Death Mother’ Toko-pa

Posted on May 11, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The Death Mother Click on the link for this interesting and profound book review from Toko-pa – containing several useful links – on the archetype and meanings of the Death Mother:- ‘If you were the child of a mother crippled by her own … Continue reading →

Posted in body psychotherapy, child development, childhood abuse, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, dying, Eating, embodiment, emotions, fear, growth, healing, identity, loneliness, metaphor & dream, perception, physical being, power and powerlessness, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, sleep, suicide, Toko-pa, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged abandoning ourselves, abandoning yourself, abandonment, aliveness, ambiguity, archetype, assertion, authentic experience, authentic feelings, authenticity, auto-immune diseases, awareness, beauty, being unseen, belittling of the feminine, belonging, Bud Harris, child development, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, collapse, confusion, consciousness, cultural collective, cultural shadow, cultural wound, cultural wounding, Daniela Sieff, death, Death Mother, denigration, depression, devaluation, devaluation of feminine, disapproval, disconnection, disconnection from body, disembodied, disembodiment, dreaming, dreams, dreams and metaphor, dreamwork, earth mother, eating disorders, emotional heritage, emotional paralysis, emotional trauma, engaging with our dreams, expression, fear and overwhelm, fear of abandonment, fear of masculine, fear of men, feminine fear, feminine mistrust, feminine values, feminine wound, finding your voice, grief, grief process, grieving process, growth, healing trauma, inertia, inner valuation, internalised belief, Into the Heart of the Feminine, invalidation, Jungian analysis, longing for death, longing for oblivion, low self esteem, Marion Woodman, Massimilla Harris, Medusa myth, motherhood, mothering, myth, myth and symbol, needing support, order from chaos, out of awareness, overwhelm, overwhelming, paradox, paralysing energy, paralysis, personal shadow, physical expressions of loss of inner valuation, psyche, rejection, repulsion, sacred feminine, Self, self care, self concept, self harm, self neglect, self-abdication, self-structure, shadow, something is wrong with me, suicide, symbolic life, symbolism, Toko-pa, transformation, triggers, trusting yourself, Understanding and Healing Emotional Trauma, unwanted aspects of self, unworthiness, women, wounded psyche, yin | Leave a comment

Matt Licata on being received as we are

Posted on April 20, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The writer loved the Sigmund Freud quote…. Resonates with how we see therapy at this service, and the person-centred approach. Being received with love, just as we are right now, is such a powerful healing agent….. It seems a tragedy – when Sigmund Freud could … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, communication, compassion, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, fear, grief, growth, healing, human condition, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Jung, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, perception, person centred, presence, relationship, risk, sadness & pain, self, shadow, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trust, unconditional positive regard, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, attunement, awareness, being met, being seen, beloved, compassion, completeness, confusion, connection, contact, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, cure through love, despair, embodied experience, empathic connection, empathy, encounter, energy, enlightenment, expressing needs, field of permission, flatness, Freud, grief, growth, having needs, healing, healing through love, heart opening, hopelessness, human needs, inner world, Jung, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, Matt Licata, need to be heard, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, nervous systems down regulation, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, pathologising, pathologising distress, pathologizing, pathologizing distress, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, presence, psychoanalysis, relational beings, relational matrix, relationship, resolution, responding to anxiety, responding to grief, responding to sadness, risk, secret language, self expression, self perception, softening, somatic, space in relationship, space in therapy, spirituality, suffering, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trust, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, validity of experience, wholeness, witnessing, wounds of the heart, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Matt Licata on not allowing ‘spirituality’ to shame our needs

Posted on January 20, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

This is so important. The blame and shame model is always toxic, whether the more traditional style, or clad in New Age robes. We all feel, and we all need – it’s integral to the human experience. The helpful response is … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, blaming, bullying, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, growth, human condition, immanence, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, presence, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, spirituality, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, touch, vulnerability | Tagged affection, affordable counselling exeter, aggression, aggression of blame, attachment, attunement, being met, being seen, beloved, blame, blaming, caregivers, commitment to self, compassion, completeness, conditional love, conditions of worth, connection, contact, core beliefs, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, dependence, despair, disappointment, Elizabeth Gadd Photography, embodied experience, empathic connection, empathic failure, empathy, encounter, energy, enlightenment, expressing needs, failure of empathy, faith, family of origin, getting needs met in relationship, growth, having needs, hopelessness, human limitations, human needs, invalidation, kindness, lack of validation, Lizzy Gadd, longing, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, low vibration, manifestation, manifesting, Matt Licata, misunderstanding, need for affection, need for contact, need for love, need for touch, need to be heard, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, neediness, New Age, new age fundamentalism, no self, not good enough, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, presence, relational animal, relational mammal, relationship, risk, self blame, self care, self compassion, self concept, self esteem, self expression, self judgement, self judgment, self perception, self worth, self-responsibility, self-structure, separation, shame, shaming, spiritual aggression, spiritual growth, spirituality, suppressing need, suppressing self expression, transcendence, trust, unlived life, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, wholeness, withdrawal, witnessing, worth as a person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yearning | Leave a comment

There is nothing wrong with you

Posted on October 21, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

There is nothing wrong with you Very helpful post, as so often, from Monica Cassani’s rich collection of resources, links, articles and reflections: http://www.beyondmeds.com Monica’s body of work is invaluable to anyone engaging with what it is to be human, anyone … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, Alan Watts, beauty, Carl Rogers, Cheri Huber, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, diagnoses of bipolar, Disconnection, Eating, embodiment, emotions, empowerment, encounter, external locus, human condition, iatrogenic illness, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Monica Cassani, natural world, non-directive counselling, organismic experiencing, perception, person centred, power and powerlessness, presence, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, spirituality, trust, working with clients | Tagged acceptance, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, Alan Watts, alcohol use, alienation, anxiety, approval, awakening, awareness, belonging, beloved, bipolar, breakdown, Carl Rogers, Cheri Huber, compulsive behaviour, conditioning, conditions of worth, connection, consciousness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative thinking, creativity, depression, depressive, eating disorders, embodied presence, embodiment, energetic collapse, energy systems, existential anxiety, existential fear, experience, experienced reality, external locus, fear, feelings of inadequacy, Going Beyond Self Hate, human suffering, humanity, iatrogenic illness, illusory reality, insecurity, integration, interconnectedness, interconnection, isolation, loneliness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, manic, manic depression, mindfulness, Monica Cassani, nervous breakdown, non acceptance, non acceptance of self, nothing wrong with you, numbing, observing self, organismic, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, past experience, perceived threat, perception, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personhood, presence, present experience, psychiatric drug withdrawal, psychiatric labels, psychiatric model, relationship, seeking approval, seeking love from outside, Self, self care, self concept, self esteem, self hate, self help, self illusion, self love, self respect, self-consciousness, self-improvement, self-structure, selfhood, sense of inadequacy, separation, spirituality, suffering, Tami Simon, There Is Nothing Wrong With You, threat, transformation, transience, trust, unconscious wisdom, unconsciousness, wholeness, wisdom, www.beyondmeds.com, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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