Tag Archives: fear

Laura Delano on Feeling your feelings, empathy, compassion – & the shrink

Posted on June 2, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the above link to visit Laura’s Facebook page, for this moving, accurate, important post. We work outside the ‘mental health’/psychiatric system and terminology here. We choose our therapists for their willingness to do their own work and their … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, autonomy, awakening, civil rights, client as 'expert', clients' perspective, compassion, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, DSM, emotions, empathy, equality, ethics, fear, grief, growth, healing, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, Laura Delano, medical model, non-conforming, non-directive counselling, organismic experiencing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, perception, person centred, power and powerlessness, presence, psychiatric abuse, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, values & principles, violence, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged abuse, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, aliveness, authentic being, authenticity, awareness, belonging, big feelings, biomedical model, biomedical reductionism, blaming, carrying collective shadow, carrying shadow for others, coercive conformity, coercive drug treatment, coercive psychiatric treatment, collective shadow, compassion based relating, compassionate encounter, conditions of worth, conformity, connecting in relationship, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, crying frequently, cultural shadow, desecration, discrimination, disease and disorder model, embodied wisdom, embodiment, emotional awareness, emotional connection, emotions as wisdom, encounter, existential meaning, expanding awareness, experiencing anger, experiencing despair, experiencing grief, experiencing joy, external locus, fear, fear as motivating emotion, fear based behaviour, fear based paradigm, fear of self, fear of your own power, grieving process, holding sacred space, immanence, insecurity, intense emotion, intense emotional states, interbeing, interconnectedness, interconnection, intolerance, labelling people, lack of awareness, Laura Delano, loneliness, low cost counselling exeter, meaning, medical model, medical reductionism, medicalisation of distress, medicalization of distress, mental health labelling, mental illness, mirroring, modelling compassion, modelling love based relationship, modelling ways of being, mourning process, mystification, neglect, non-conforming, nothing is wrong with you, oppression, organismic experiencing, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, pathologising distress, pathologising emotion, pathologising feeling, pathologizing distress, pathologizing emotion, pathologizing feeling, patriarchy, person centred counselling exeter, person centred relationship, personal shadow, power, power imbalance, power of being seen, power of crying, power of surrender, power of vulnerability, powerlessness, presence, psychiatric disempowerment, psychiatric drugs, psychiatric labeling, psychiatric labelling, psychiatric model, psychiatric reductionism, reclaiming your power, recovering from psychiatry, reductionism in biomedical model, reductionism in psychiatry, relational communication, relational connection, relational presence, relationship, relationship heals, sacred expression, sacred space, sacredness of feelings, scapegoating, scientific reductionism, self concept, self-structure, shame, shyness, social control, social isolation, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, too emotional, trauma, unresolved trauma, violence, wounded healer, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Guante ‘Ten Responses to the Phrase ‘Man up”

Posted on December 6, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link above for Guante’s performance of his work on Button Poetry’s Facebook page. Aho. ‘Man up’ belongs in the ‘just don’t say it’ category…. Thanks, Guante, and also to Button Poetry and Angie Buchanan for posting this on Facebook … Continue reading →

Posted in communication, cultural questions, cultural taboos, Disconnection, diversity, emotions, empathy, empowerment, ethics, feminine, Gender & culture, growing up, healing, identity, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, masculine, non-conforming, objectification, paradigm shift, parenting, perception, political, power and powerlessness, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, sexual being, sexual orientation, sexual violence, shadow, shame, shaming, vulnerability | Tagged activism, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, antisocial behaviour, approval, authority, autonomy, belittling, belonging, binary, blame, body image, bullying, Button Poetry, challenge, child development, claiming personal power, coercive conformity, coercive culture, community, compassion, competition, conditions of worth for boys, conditions of worth for men, conforming, conformity, confrontation, connectedness, conscious living, consciousness, contempt, controlling behaviour, controlling culture, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, cultural difference, cultural distortion, cultural diversity, culture of coercion, culture of control, culture of shame, cycles of shame, defensive, demonising maleness, demonising masculinity, demonizing maleness, demonizing masculinity, desensitization, destructive behaviour, developmental process, developmental trauma, disapproval, disconnection, discrimination, discrimination against men, displaced expression, distorted developmental process, distortions of masculine power, diversity, division, domination, educating boys, education, emotional awareness, emotional connection, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence in men, emotions, empathy, empathy in boys, empathy in men, empowerment, essence of the masculine, exclusion, external authority, external locus, fear, gender, gender and culture, gender and emotion, gender bias, gender discrimination, gender prejudice, Guante, humiliation, individuated man, individuation, inner truth, inner voice, internal dialogue, internalised values, internalized values, introjections, judgement, kindness, Kyle Tran Myhre, loneliness, loss, low cost counselling exeter, man up, masculine, masculine energies, masculine intuition, masculine norms, masculine nurture, masculinity, men and emotion, misuse of power, non-conforming, nurture in men, objectification, oppression, oppressor, ostracism, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, parenting, pathologising maleness, pathologising masculinity, pathologizing maleness, pathologizing masculinity, patriarchal behaviour, patriarchal culture, patriarchy, permission, person centred counselling exeter, personal discovery, personal journey, personal power, personal work, personhood, poetry as activism, political, projection, projective identification, projective reality, public shaming, punishment, punishment for not conforming, reclaiming the masculine, relationship, repression, ridicule, sacred feminine, sacred masculine, self concept, self distortion, self sufficiency, self suppression, self-structure, sensitivity, sensitivity as strength, separation, sexual diversity, sexual shaming, sexualisation of the masculine, sexualization of the masculine, shadow, shame, shaming, shaming as bloodsport, shaming men, shaming of maleness, social isolation, social pressure, stigma, stigmatising, stigmatizing, stoicism, subjective experience, suppression, unconscious behaviour, vulnerability, vulnerability as strength, wounded feminine, wounded masculine, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

What it Really Means to Hold Space for Someone – Heather Plett

Posted on November 21, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

What it Really Means to Hold Space for Someone Click on the above link for this wonderful piece on Uplift Connect from May this year by Heather – not generally a fan of ‘8 tips’ type articles, but been meaning … Continue reading →

Posted in autonomy, boundaries, client as 'expert', communication, compassion, congruence, core conditions, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, grief, growth, internal locus of evaluation, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, person centred, power and powerlessness, resilience, risk, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, supervision, transformation, trauma, trust, values & principles, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged accompanying someone, affordable counselling exeter, autonomy, autonomy to make choices, beating yourself up, being lost, being there for someone, brokenness, coaching skills, compassion, complex emotions, counselling exeter, counselling skills, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage to take risks, creating a container, creating safe space, cultural norms, dealing with an addiction, dependence, disempowering, diversity, ego trap, emotional growth, empowering, ethic of service, facilitating skills, falling apart, fear, fear of falling apart, feeling broken, feeling empowered, feeling incompetent, feeling lost, feeling safe, feeling unworthy, feeling useless, fixing people, gentle guidance, giving guidance, giving permission, going through transition, grief, grieving, Heather Plett, holding space, holding the rim, honouring difference, humility, learning from mistakes, listening skills, low cost counselling exeter, making mistakes, making space, meaningful work, non directive, non judgemental listening, non judgmental, offering guidance, offering support, okay to make mistakes, overcoming ego, overwhelming, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal growth, personal shadow, preoccupation with self, psychological growth, resilience, respecting difference, risks and growth, sacred space, safe enough to fail, safe space, self absorption, self care, self concept, self concern, self other distinction, self worth, self-structure, serving others, shadow work, shaming, spiritual growth, supervision support, support not control, support system, supporting others, supporting someone who is anxious, supporting someone who is depressed, supporting someone who is grieving, supporting someone who is suicidal, taking power away, taking risks, teaching skills, tenderness, thoughtfulness, transformation, transition, trauma, trust, trusting intuition, trusting your own wisdom, trusting yourself, unconditional relationship, unconditional support, unconditionality, Uplift Connect, vulnerability, vulnerable, walking alongside, what it means to hold space, withholding judgement, working at depth, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Paul Gordon on finding our feelings in therapy

Posted on August 18, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“I suspect we could all tell a story similar to that told by the playwright David Hare recalling his childhood in post-war Britain: ‘In the other half of our semi-detached lived a solicitor and his wife. She had perfectly mastered … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, anger, awakening, communication, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, fear, growth, healing, human condition, identity, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, suicide, surrender, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, acceptance of emotions, acceptance of feelings, acting on emotions, acting on feelings, affordable counselling exeter, appropriate self expression, awakening, bourgeois rituals, complexity, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, David Hare, disconnection, emotions as a gift, empathy, fear, fear of emotion, fear of feeling, feelings as a gift, harming others, Hope of Therapy, hurting others, low cost counselling exeter, organismic, owning emotion, owning feelings, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Paul Gordon, person centred counselling exeter, power of emotion, power of feelings, presence, recognising emotions, recognising feelings, recognizing emotions, recognizing feelings, repressing emotion, repressing feelings, responsibility for emotion, responsibility for feelings, self acceptance, self expression, self-responsibility, suicide, symbolising experience, symbolizing experience, terror, therapeutic process, unconscious, unconsciousness, William James, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Send Forgiveness Viral – The Project

Posted on July 25, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Stop the outrage and #SendForgivenessViral | Written by Waleed Aly & Tom Whitty (@twhittyer) #TheProjectTV https://t.co/lMonyEhmB5 — #TheProjectTV (@theprojecttv) July 19, 2016 Forgiveness is a tricky word… The writer has often experienced working with a deeply traumatized human being who … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, anger, blaming, communication, compassion, conflict, congruence, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, external locus, fear, forgiveness, grief, healing, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, loss, love, paradigm shift, perception, person centred, political, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, self concept, shadow, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged #SendForgivenessViral, affordable counselling exeter, awareness, blaming, building relationship, building trust, compassionate presence, conflict resolution, connectedness, connection, construction, constructive dialogue, core conditions, counselling exeter, counselling relationship, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative dialogue, creativity, cycles of destruction, dealing with trauma, defensiveness, destruction, destructive spiral, disconnection, encounter, external locus, fear, fear and trauma, fear base, forgiveness, hate, hate crimes, holding space, how we forgive, internal locus, love base, low cost counselling exeter, moving beyond fear, neutralising threat, neutralizing threat, othering, out of awareness, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centered process, person centred counselling exeter, person centred process, presence, processing trauma, resilience, responding to hate, responding to terrorism, self concept, self-structure, send forgiveness viral, sense of self, shadow, shaming, Sonia Kruger, spiritual bypass, The Project TV, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, threat response, Tom Whitty, trauma and fear, trauma work, trusting the client, trusting the process, unconscious, unowned emotion, unowned feeling, unowned process, Waleed Aly, witnessing, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Paul Gordon on art, complexity & ambiguity

Posted on July 20, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

This extract is from a recent acquisition to the library here, ‘The Hope of Therapy’ by Paul Gordon. He describes it as “an argument for… therapeutic freedom” as an essential element of creativity. His premise is that therapy cannot meaningfully be reduced to techniques, … Continue reading →

Posted in cognitive, communication, creativity, cultural questions, external locus, human condition, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, meaning, non-directive counselling, organismic experiencing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Paul Gordon, perception, poetry, political, psychiatry, reality, regulation, relationship, surrender | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, all things counter, ambiguity, binary, complexity, counselling exeter, counselling regulation, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, diagnosis and disorder model, drunkenness of things being various, Ernest Hemingway, external locus, fear, Gerard Manley Hopkins, good and evil, Gustave Flaubert, Hills like white elephants, Hope of Therapy, intention, internal locus, interpretation, judging, Louis MacNeice, low cost counselling exeter, Marcel Proust, mental health model, Milan Kundera, non duality, not knowing, novel as a-philosophic, novels as anti-philosophic, organismic, over simplification, over simplifying, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Paul Gordon, person centred counselling exeter, phenomenology, plural nature of things, pluralism, plurality, pre-conceived ideas, pre-interpretation, preconceived ideas, psychiatric model, psychotherapy regulation, purpose of story telling, regulating counselling, regulating psychotherapy, regulation of counselling, regulation of psychotherapy, Sigmund Freud, story-telling, therapeutic freedom, threat response, uncertainty, unconscious, unconsciousness, willingness, willingness not to define, willingness not to know, work of the novel, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Never Read the Comments – Liz Gilbert

Posted on June 2, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

” This feels personally relevant to the writer, who has her own experience of group attack, including via the internet, and (some) people’s willingness to make sweeping and vicious statements about other human beings they have never met, based on one … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, anger, autonomy, blaming, boundaries, bullying, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, empowerment, external locus, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, objectification, perception, political, power and powerlessness, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shaming, trauma, violence, vulnerability | Tagged abandoning self, abuse, acknowledgement, acknowledging, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, anticipation, anxiety, armouring, authenticity, awfulising, awfulizing, being of service, being seen, belonging, betrayal, blame and shame model, Brené Brown, Buber, Buber I It, bullying, bystander apathy, caring what others think, catastrophising, catastrophizing, civil rights, clarity of values, closing down, closing your heart, communication, comparing self with others, comparison with others, compassion, conditions of worth, connectedness, connection, consent, consent to publication, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creativity, critics don't count, cruelty, culture of humiliation, cyber-bullying, de-armouring, dealing with criticism, dealing with haters, dealing with uncertainty, disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embarrassment, empathy, ethic of service, ethics, exposure, facing judgement, fear, fear of humiliation, fear of unknown, feedback, freedom of expression, gainsayers, grief, grieving, handling criticism, handling uncertainty, harassment, Human Rights, humiliation, ideal self, innovation, inspiration, interconnectedness, interdependence, internet bullying, judgement, judgemental attitudes, Liz Gilbert, loneliness, loss, love and service, loving presence, low cost counselling exeter, meanness, minority influence, Monica Lewinsky, mortification, objectification, online bullying, online harassment, opening your heart, originality, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, personal history, personal shifts, presence, public humiliation, public shaming, publication without consent, realness, receiving feedback, recontextualising experience, recontextualizing experience, resilience, scarcity mindset, Self, self abandonment, self armouring, self blame, self concept, self critical, self criticism, self discipline, self doubt, self esteem, self judgement, self protection, self worth, self-structure, service, service of the work, shame, shaming, showing up, shutting down, snapchat, spiritual discipline, staying open, suicide, sweaty creative, TED, the man in the arena, the unknown, Theodore Roosevelt, transformation, trauma, trolling, trust, unkindness, upstander, upstanding, value system, valuing yourself, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Susan Peacock on Year 6 SATs

Posted on May 17, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Powerful and distressing personal account of the harm caused by our toxic cultural obsession with an ‘evidence base’, and our drive to define value only in terms of what can be categorised and measured. Shades of Charles Dickens’ ‘Hard Times’, and Utilitarianism, … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, autonomy, child development, cognitive, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, education, empowerment, ethics, external locus, growing up, parenting, person centred, person centred theory, political, power and powerlessness, resilience, sadness & pain, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, teaching, trauma, values & principles | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, CBT, Charles Dickens, child-centred, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, despair, dyslexia, erosion of self worth, fear, Finnish education system, Hard Times, hopelessness, low cost counselling exeter, Lyn Nell Hancock, Lynnell Hancock, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centered learning, person centred counselling exeter, person centred learning, personhood, resilience, SATs, school stress, self concept, self esteem, self worth, self-structure, sense of self, standardised tests, standardized tests, stress in children, Susan Carter Peacock, Susan Peacock, trauma, Utilitarianism, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Not This – Liz Gilbert

Posted on April 27, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

A helpful post from Liz (‘Eat, Pray, Love’) Gilbert. Many of the people who come to our service have reached the point of ‘Not This’. Those arriving at this realization may have no idea how to extricate themselves from the situation they are … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, autonomy, awakening, blaming, boundaries, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, congruence, creativity, Elizabeth Gilbert, embodiment, emotions, empowerment, fear, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, loneliness, loss, organismic experiencing, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, risk, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, surrender, transformation, trust, vulnerability | Tagged acknowledgement, actualising, actualizing, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, autonomy, being seen, being yourself, belonging, blame, change process, community, condemnation, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creativity, ego battle, Elizabeth Gilbert, epiphany, escape, fear, fear of change, fear of loss, good enough for you, hard reality, illumination, inner compass, inner knowing, inner voice, intuition, judgement, life energy, life force, Liz Gilbert, low cost counselling exeter, mystery, not being yourself, not knowing, not this, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, pretending, realisation, reality, realization, recognition, risk, self realization, shame, surrender, transformation, tribe, trust, vulnerability, wrong job, wrong relationship, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Monica Lewinsky with Jon Ronson

Posted on April 26, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/apr/16/monica-lewinsky-shame-sticks-like-tar-jon-ronson Click on the link above for today’s post – Monica Lewinsky in a recent interview with Jon Ronson in The Guardian, well worth a read. In 2015, we published a link to, and a piece on, Monica’s wonderful TED talk ‘The … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, blaming, bullying, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, empowerment, ethics, fear, Gender & culture, grief, healing, identity, interconnection & belonging, loneliness, loss, Monica Lewinsky, objectification, perception, political, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, sexual being, shadow, shame, shaming, suicide, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged abuse, acquiring a sense of self, affordable counselling exeter, anti-bullying advocacy, anti-bullying emojis, anti-bullying gifs, betrayal, bigotry, blame and shame model, bullying, bystander apathy, Bystander Revolution, bystanding, civil rights, communication, compassion, competing narrative, conditions of worth, consent, core pain, core trauma, core wound, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cruelty, culture of humiliation, cure for shame, cyber-bullying, de-objectifying, dehumanising, dehumanizing, deobjectifying, developing a sense of self, disconnection, effects of shock, embarrassment, empathy, ethics, exclusion, exposure, fear, fear of ostracisation, feminism, grief, harassment, Human Rights, humiliation, identity, integrating trauma, internet bullying, internet shaming, Jon Ronson, judgement, legitimising bullying, legitimizing bullying, Lindsey Stone, loneliness, loss, low cost counselling exeter, Mike Daisey, misogyny, Monica In Black And White, Monica Lewinsky, mortification, mutual relationship, object of hate, objectification, online bullying, online harassment, ostracisation, ostracising, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, projecting, public humiliation, public shaming, racism, recontextualising experience, recontextualizing experience, resilience, Self, self concept, self esteem, sense of self, shame, Shame and Survival, shaming, shock, shock behaviours, suicide, targeting difference, TED, threat to identity, threatened identity, transformation, trauma, trolling, upstander, upstanding, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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