Tag Archives: self blame

How You Are Already Seeding Transformation – Joe Brewer

Posted on January 25, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://medium.com/@joe_brewer/how-you-are-already-seeding-transformation-d14a516d2850 Click on the above link for this inspiring piece from Joe. Thanks to Justine Corrie on Facebook for showing us this. Here’s an excerpt:- “Imagine the surface of a mountain lake in winter. The air has fallen below freezing … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, awakening, communication, community, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, empowerment, encounter, growth, human condition, interconnection & belonging, Joe Brewer, metaphor & dream, paradigm shift, perception, political, power and powerlessness, presence, transformation | Tagged activism, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, anti austerity, Arab Spring, awakening, broken life story, broken social system, capitalism, capitalism and slavery, capitalism as collective insanity, capitalist narratives, causes of depression, causes of suicides, changing states, chaos and uncertainty, chronic guilt, chronic shame, cohesion, common humanity, connecting the dots, connection with others, connection with self, conquest narrative, conscious activism, conscious change, contemporary meaninglessness, control and compliance, control of media, coordinated action, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating a narrative, creating structure, critical mass and change, crystal of hope, cultural change, cultural disconnect, cultural narratives, cultural stories, debt enslavement, debt narratives, decentralized, disconnection, disharmony, divide and rule, economic inequality, economic narratives, emergence, engaging in life, engaging in process, engaging in relationship, everywhere-all-at-once, existential meaning, exploitation, expressing your truth, facade of democracy, fast change processes, feeling alone, feeling compassion, find your voice, finding connection, healing not warfare, healing process, individualism, inspiring compassion, intention and change, intentional change, interconnection, interdependence, islands of possibility, Joe Brewer, joining the dots, lack of economic opportunities, late stage capitalism, life story, Lived Experience, living your truth, loss of meaning, low cost counselling exeter, mainstream media, making connections, making sense of experience, making structure, malaise, media vested interests, misdirection, modern serfdom, monetary systems of capitalism, moving states, new paradigm, nucleation spots, obstacles to change, Occupy Wall Street, old world ideology, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, patriarchy, person centred counselling exeter, phase transition, powerlessness, powers that be, pretence of democracy, privilege and success, privileged demographics, process of social change, psychosocial well being, redirection and distraction, resonance in lived experience, responding to chaos, scarcity and abundance, scarcity mindset, seeding transformation, self blame, self organizing, social norms, social values, speak your truth, speaking truth, standard life story, starter finisher, Story of Conquest, synchronicity, systemic corruption, systemic political corruption, telling your story, tipping points, transformation, transformative change, turbulence and change, turning belief into action, turning emotion into action, turning feeling into action, turning thought into action, unwinnable game, using intention, visioning, waves of transformation, wealth hoarding, what slows change, what speeds change, wired for cooperation, wired for empathy, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The thorn in my side – Anne Lamott

Posted on May 9, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.salon.com/2017/04/02/the-thorn-in-my-side-i-tried-to-let-go-of-my-poisonous-grudge-against-another-writer/ Click on the above link to visit http://www.salon.com for this excerpt from April from Anne’s new book ‘Hallelujah Anyway’. Interesting and open piece about resentment, self blame and moving on through…. Here’s the book link:- Palace Gate Counselling … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, anger, Anne Lamott, blaming, compulsive behaviour, conflict, cultural questions, identity, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, spirituality, surrender | Tagged addiction, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, Anne Lamott, anxiety, anxiety and blame, authenticity, bearing grudges, being competitive, being heard, being judged, being rejected, Bird by Bird, blaming others, blessed are the meek, bondage of self, call and response, competition ethic, competitive tendencies, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conditioning, conditions of worth, confession, connection, control over chaos, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, detachment, disliking yourself, divine love, ethic of service, experiencing jealousy, experiencing rejection, experiencing the gift, feeling competitive, feeling empty, feeling like a fuckup, feeling mean, feeling remorse, feeling shame, finding humility, finite human nature, fixing yourself, forgiveness, fucking up, grace and mercy, Grace Eventually, grief and confusion, Hallelujah Anyway, hearing someone’s pain, Help Thanks Wow, hiding, Imperfect Birds, jealousy and judgement, jealousy and judgment, judging others, keeping secrets, kindness, low cost counselling exeter, mercifulness, mercy, offering mercy, Operating Instructions, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians, person centred counselling exeter, Plan B, presence, rediscovering mercy, regret, remorse, resist less, resistance, Rosie, Schadenfreude, Scoop Nisker, seeing the gift, self blame, self blaming, self concept, self dislike, self judgement, self judging, self judgment, self-loathing, self-structure, sense of emptiness, sense of humility, sense of identity, sense of self, sense of smallness, shaming, Small Victories, Some Assembly Required, spiritual autobiography, spiritual growth, spirituality, St. Paul’s letters, Stitches, submission and servitude, surrender, thorn in my side, toxic behaviour, toxic qualities, Traveling Mercies, truth out loud, try harder, trying and resistance, unconditional love, willingness, working with envy, working with resentment, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Gil Bailie on the Crucifixion & Blame

Posted on April 15, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“The surest way to miss the link between the cure (the crucifixion and its aftereffects) and the disease (the structures of scapegoating violence upon which all human social arrangements have depended) is to read the passion story with an eye … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, awakening, blaming, bullying, civil rights, community, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, core conditions, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, ethics, external locus, fear, guilt, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, objectification, perception, person centred, person centred theory, political, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, spirituality, trauma, trust, violence | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aggression of blame, blame, blame and responsibility, blaming, collective responsibility, collective scapegoating, collective shadow, commitment to self, compassion, conditional love, conditions of worth, connection, contempt of others, core beliefs, core conditions, core wounding, core wounds, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural projection, cultural violence, empathic connection, empathic failure, empathy, encounter, expanding awareness, failure of empathy, finger pointing, Gil Bailie, hopelessness, human limitations, human needs, invalidation, inward enquiry, inwards enquiry, kindness, lack of validation, Lived Experience, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, meaning of evil, meaning of the crucifixion, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, not good enough, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal development, personal responsibility, personal shadow, phenomenological approach, presence, projecting, projecting shadow, projection, relationship, religious violence, sacred violence, scapegoating, self awareness, self blame, self care, self compassion, self concept, self contempt, self enquiry, self esteem, self expression, self judgement, self judgment, self perception, self worth, self-responsibility, self-structure, separation, shame, shaming, spirituality, suppressing need, suppressing self expression, trust, unlived life, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, Violence Unveiled, wholeness, withdrawal, witnessing, worth as a person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Never Read the Comments – Liz Gilbert

Posted on June 2, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

” This feels personally relevant to the writer, who has her own experience of group attack, including via the internet, and (some) people’s willingness to make sweeping and vicious statements about other human beings they have never met, based on one … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, anger, autonomy, blaming, boundaries, bullying, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, empowerment, external locus, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, objectification, perception, political, power and powerlessness, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shaming, trauma, violence, vulnerability | Tagged abandoning self, abuse, acknowledgement, acknowledging, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, anticipation, anxiety, armouring, authenticity, awfulising, awfulizing, being of service, being seen, belonging, betrayal, blame and shame model, Brené Brown, Buber, Buber I It, bullying, bystander apathy, caring what others think, catastrophising, catastrophizing, civil rights, clarity of values, closing down, closing your heart, communication, comparing self with others, comparison with others, compassion, conditions of worth, connectedness, connection, consent, consent to publication, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creativity, critics don't count, cruelty, culture of humiliation, cyber-bullying, de-armouring, dealing with criticism, dealing with haters, dealing with uncertainty, disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embarrassment, empathy, ethic of service, ethics, exposure, facing judgement, fear, fear of humiliation, fear of unknown, feedback, freedom of expression, gainsayers, grief, grieving, handling criticism, handling uncertainty, harassment, Human Rights, humiliation, ideal self, innovation, inspiration, interconnectedness, interdependence, internet bullying, judgement, judgemental attitudes, Liz Gilbert, loneliness, loss, love and service, loving presence, low cost counselling exeter, meanness, minority influence, Monica Lewinsky, mortification, objectification, online bullying, online harassment, opening your heart, originality, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, personal history, personal shifts, presence, public humiliation, public shaming, publication without consent, realness, receiving feedback, recontextualising experience, recontextualizing experience, resilience, scarcity mindset, Self, self abandonment, self armouring, self blame, self concept, self critical, self criticism, self discipline, self doubt, self esteem, self judgement, self protection, self worth, self-structure, service, service of the work, shame, shaming, showing up, shutting down, snapchat, spiritual discipline, staying open, suicide, sweaty creative, TED, the man in the arena, the unknown, Theodore Roosevelt, transformation, trauma, trolling, trust, unkindness, upstander, upstanding, value system, valuing yourself, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Matt Licata on not allowing ‘spirituality’ to shame our needs

Posted on January 20, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

This is so important. The blame and shame model is always toxic, whether the more traditional style, or clad in New Age robes. We all feel, and we all need – it’s integral to the human experience. The helpful response is … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, blaming, bullying, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, growth, human condition, immanence, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, presence, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, spirituality, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, touch, vulnerability | Tagged affection, affordable counselling exeter, aggression, aggression of blame, attachment, attunement, being met, being seen, beloved, blame, blaming, caregivers, commitment to self, compassion, completeness, conditional love, conditions of worth, connection, contact, core beliefs, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, dependence, despair, disappointment, Elizabeth Gadd Photography, embodied experience, empathic connection, empathic failure, empathy, encounter, energy, enlightenment, expressing needs, failure of empathy, faith, family of origin, getting needs met in relationship, growth, having needs, hopelessness, human limitations, human needs, invalidation, kindness, lack of validation, Lizzy Gadd, longing, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, low vibration, manifestation, manifesting, Matt Licata, misunderstanding, need for affection, need for contact, need for love, need for touch, need to be heard, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, neediness, New Age, new age fundamentalism, no self, not good enough, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, presence, relational animal, relational mammal, relationship, risk, self blame, self care, self compassion, self concept, self esteem, self expression, self judgement, self judgment, self perception, self worth, self-responsibility, self-structure, separation, shame, shaming, spiritual aggression, spiritual growth, spirituality, suppressing need, suppressing self expression, transcendence, trust, unlived life, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, wholeness, withdrawal, witnessing, worth as a person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yearning | Leave a comment

Brené Brown: Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count

Posted on November 25, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Another useful talk from Brené Brown, which explores creativity, criticism and how she has learned to deal with it. She talks about how important it is that those of us she calls the ‘sweaty creatives’ – or, borrowing from Theodore Roosevelt’s famous words, … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, blaming, Brene Brown, bullying, communication, conditions of worth, creativity, cultural questions, emotions, empathy, empowerment, fear, grief, growth, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, non-conforming, power and powerlessness, presence, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, values & principles, vulnerability | Tagged 99U, abandoning self, acknowledgement, acknowledging, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, anticipation, anxiety, armouring, authenticity, awfulising, awfulizing, being seen, belonging, Brené Brown, caring what others think, catastrophising, catastrophizing, clarity of values, closing down, closing your heart, comparing self with others, comparison with others, conditions of worth, connectedness, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creativity, cruelty, de-armouring, dealing with criticism, dealing with uncertainty, disconnection, empathy, exposure, facing judgement, fear, fear of humiliation, fear of unknown, feedback, gainsayers, Get REAL, grief, grieving, handling criticism, handling uncertainty, humiliation, ideal self, innovation, inspiration, interconnectedness, interdependence, judgemental attitudes, love and service, loving presence, low cost counselling exeter, meanness, opening your heart, originality, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal history, personal shifts, presence, realness, receiving feedback, scarcity mindset, self abandonment, self armouring, self blame, self concept, self critical, self criticism, self doubt, self esteem, self judgement, self protection, self worth, self-structure, service, service of the work, shame, shaming, showing up, shutting down, staying open, sweaty creative, TED, the man in the arena, the unknown, Theodore Roosevelt, trust, unkindness, value system, valuing yourself, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | 1 Comment

How to prepare emotionally for the death of a difficult parent – Jeff Brown

Posted on November 11, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://soulshaping.com/soulshaping/difficult-parent/ Helpful piece, thanks Jeff. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling Exeter since 1994

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, blaming, body psychotherapy, bodywork, child development, childhood abuse, communication, conditions of worth, conflict, consciousness, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, dying, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, external locus, family systems, fear, forgiveness, generational trauma, grief, growing up, guilt, healing, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Jeff Brown, kindness & compassion, loss, love, parenting, perception, person centred, presence, reality, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, surrender, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged absence, acceptance, acknowledgement, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, An Uncommon Bond, ancestors, ancestral pain, ancestral shame, Apologies to the Divine Feminine, Ascending, authenticity, awakened consciousness, awakening, awakening consciousness, bereavement, blame, blaming, body centered psychotherapy, body psychotherapy, bodywork, carrying it forward, child rearing, child self, childhood beliefs, collective consciousness, collective heart, completion, complex grief, conditioning, conditions of worth, confusion, connectedness, connection, context, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, death of mother, death of parent, developmental stages, dialogue, difficult relationships, disappointment, distorted perception, duty, dying mother, dying parent, embodiment, emotional absence, emotional armour, emotional baggage, emotional debris, emotional paralysis, emotional risk, emotional safety, emotional threat, empowerment, encounter, familial ancestors, familial relationship, family relationship, fantasy, forgiveness, forgiving, gender, generational healing, generational pain, generational trauma, grief, grief process, grief therapy, grieving, grieving difficult relationships, guilt, healing, healing conflict, healing rifts, healthy connection, heartbreak, human condition, human development, human limitations, imprints, incomplete, individuating, individuation, inner narrative, interconnection, interdependence, internalised guilt, internalized guilt, introjections, Jeff Brown, Karmageddon, karmic ancestors, kindness, learning to value ourselves, letting go, life experiences, loss, loss of mother, loss of parent, Love it Forward, loving parenting, loving relationship, low cost counselling exeter, metamorphosis, mystification, narrative, need for fantasy, obligation, overcoming, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, perception, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal beliefs, personal transformation, presence, process work, protective mother, psychotherapy, reality, realness, recognition, reflection work, reflective work, rejection, relational dynamics, relationship, relationship therapy, religious perspective, repressed emotions, resolution, safety, self abuse, self blame, self concept, self distraction, self esteem, self love, self protection, self validation, self worth, self-structure, separation, shame, shame and abuse, shame game, shaming, Soulshaping, Spiritual Graffiti, stagnation, surrender, survivalist conditioning, sustainable transformation, talk therapy, talking therapy, tenderness, therapeutic process, therapeutic work, therapy, things unsaid, threat response, toxic parenting, toxic relationship, transformation, unactualized dreams, unconsciousness, unexpressed anger, unhealed grief, unresolved experiences, unresolved memories, validation, validation from others, vigilance, vulnerability, wanting attention, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The Rupture of the Mother Line & the Cost of Becoming Real – Bethany Webster

Posted on February 26, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://womboflight.com/2014/12/21/the-rupture-of-the-mother-line-and-the-cost-of-becoming-real/ Fascinating article by Bethany on the mother-daughter relationship, its deeper potential and meanings, and the wounds inflicted by our culture. She explores the feminine journey into realness and wholeness, with mother as initiator or wounded saboteur – and how … Continue reading →

Posted in awakening, Bethany Webster, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, empowerment, external locus, family systems, fear, feminine, Gender & culture, generational trauma, growing up, growth, healing, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, love, meaning, paradigm shift, parenting, person centred, political, power and powerlessness, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, transformation, trauma | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, autonomy, awakening, awakening feminine, Bethany Webster, blame model, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, consciousness, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, deprivation, earth mother, emotional care-taking, emotional caretaking, empowerment, enmeshment, external locus, false self, feminine, feminine power, feminism, freedom, Gaia, generational trauma, grief, grieving, guilt, human needs, identity, independence, individuation, initiation, integration, internal locus, internalised values, internalized values, introjected beliefs, introjections, limiting beliefs, love, low cost counselling exeter, maturation process, medicine woman, misogyny, mother daughter relationship, mother longing, mother wound, mothering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, patriarchal culture, patriarchy, people pleasing, person centred counselling exeter, Phillip Moffitt, realness, rejection, relationship, rupture, rupture in relationship, sacred feminine, Self, self blame, self concept, self-sabotage, separation, unmet needs, wholeness, woman as empowerer, woman as initiator, woman as nurturer, woman as protector, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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