Tag Archives: blaming

Marshall Rosenberg on what peace requires from us

Posted on April 16, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', anger, communication, compassion, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, fear, interconnection & belonging, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, perception, power and powerlessness, relationship, shadow, violence, vulnerability | Tagged 'evil', affordable counselling exeter, anger, belief systems, blame, blaming, communication, compassion, conflict, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural questions, cultural values, disconnection, empathy, human condition, human needs, interconnection & belonging, judging, low cost counselling exeter, Marshall Rosenberg, Non Violent Communication, NVC, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, perception, person centred counselling exeter, punishing, punishment, relationship, scapegoating, shaming, social values, unmet needs, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Marshall Rosenberg on criticism of self/other

Posted on November 1, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, “‘What will they think of me?’ must be put aside for bliss.” … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, blaming, compassion, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, Joseph Campbell, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, objectification, perception, relationship, unconditional positive regard | Tagged acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, blame model, blaming, bliss, compassion, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dehumanising, dehumanizing, derogatory, empathy, ethic of service, expressions of trauma, fault and blame, Joseph Campbell, judging others, low cost counselling exeter, Marshall Rosenberg, opportunities to give, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, punitive, self judgement, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Matt Licata on Ego

Posted on October 4, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘Ego’ for many of us becomes a term of abuse for self/other and source of shame. Here’s a radically different and far more accurate/useful take on this…. Thanks, Matt. Here’s the text for those who have difficulty seeing Facebook links:- … Continue reading →

Posted in blaming, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, encounter, human condition, identity, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, meaning, meditation, organismic experiencing, perception, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shame, shaming, spirituality, vulnerability | Tagged 'eating disorder', abandoning experience, addictive behavior, addictive behaviour, addictive eating, affordable counselling exeter, anxious avoidant attachment, aroused nervous system, attachment, attachment figures, attuning to experience, avoiding feeling, avoiding pain, avoiding suffering, blaming, claustrophobia, coming home to yourself, compassionate response, compensatory behavior, compensatory behaviour, complaining, compulsive eating, conceptual spirituality, conscious awareness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, critical thoughts, cycle of abandonment, denying experience, denying feelings, denying pain, denying reality, disembodied, disembodiment, disordered eating, dissociation, doorway into wholeness, ego, ego as process, embodied response, embodied vulnerability, emotional suffering, empathy, escaping vulnerability, existential meaning, experience distant, experiencing ego, experiential, experiential learning, feeling unsafe, Great Mystery, heartbreak, heavy heart, humanness, invitation into presence, kind curiosity, kindness to self, limbic fight flight, longing, low cost counselling exeter, managing anxiety, Matt Licata, meaning of ego, meditative enquiry, moving away from pain, othering, overwhelming anxiety, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, panic, person centred counselling exeter, personal process, presence, process, projective identification, rage, restlessness, returning home, sadness, self abandonment, self aggression, self blaming, self care, self compassion, self empathy, self enquiry, self love, self nurture, self shaming, shame, shaming, spirituality, splitting, vulnerability, warmth, what is ego, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yogic response | Leave a comment

Laura Delano on Feeling your feelings, empathy, compassion – & the shrink

Posted on June 2, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the above link to visit Laura’s Facebook page, for this moving, accurate, important post. We work outside the ‘mental health’/psychiatric system and terminology here. We choose our therapists for their willingness to do their own work and their … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, autonomy, awakening, civil rights, client as 'expert', clients' perspective, compassion, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, DSM, emotions, empathy, equality, ethics, fear, grief, growth, healing, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, Laura Delano, medical model, non-conforming, non-directive counselling, organismic experiencing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, perception, person centred, power and powerlessness, presence, psychiatric abuse, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, values & principles, violence, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged abuse, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, aliveness, authentic being, authenticity, awareness, belonging, big feelings, biomedical model, biomedical reductionism, blaming, carrying collective shadow, carrying shadow for others, coercive conformity, coercive drug treatment, coercive psychiatric treatment, collective shadow, compassion based relating, compassionate encounter, conditions of worth, conformity, connecting in relationship, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, crying frequently, cultural shadow, desecration, discrimination, disease and disorder model, embodied wisdom, embodiment, emotional awareness, emotional connection, emotions as wisdom, encounter, existential meaning, expanding awareness, experiencing anger, experiencing despair, experiencing grief, experiencing joy, external locus, fear, fear as motivating emotion, fear based behaviour, fear based paradigm, fear of self, fear of your own power, grieving process, holding sacred space, immanence, insecurity, intense emotion, intense emotional states, interbeing, interconnectedness, interconnection, intolerance, labelling people, lack of awareness, Laura Delano, loneliness, low cost counselling exeter, meaning, medical model, medical reductionism, medicalisation of distress, medicalization of distress, mental health labelling, mental illness, mirroring, modelling compassion, modelling love based relationship, modelling ways of being, mourning process, mystification, neglect, non-conforming, nothing is wrong with you, oppression, organismic experiencing, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, pathologising distress, pathologising emotion, pathologising feeling, pathologizing distress, pathologizing emotion, pathologizing feeling, patriarchy, person centred counselling exeter, person centred relationship, personal shadow, power, power imbalance, power of being seen, power of crying, power of surrender, power of vulnerability, powerlessness, presence, psychiatric disempowerment, psychiatric drugs, psychiatric labeling, psychiatric labelling, psychiatric model, psychiatric reductionism, reclaiming your power, recovering from psychiatry, reductionism in biomedical model, reductionism in psychiatry, relational communication, relational connection, relational presence, relationship, relationship heals, sacred expression, sacred space, sacredness of feelings, scapegoating, scientific reductionism, self concept, self-structure, shame, shyness, social control, social isolation, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, too emotional, trauma, unresolved trauma, violence, wounded healer, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Gil Bailie on the Crucifixion & Blame

Posted on April 15, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“The surest way to miss the link between the cure (the crucifixion and its aftereffects) and the disease (the structures of scapegoating violence upon which all human social arrangements have depended) is to read the passion story with an eye … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, awakening, blaming, bullying, civil rights, community, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, core conditions, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, ethics, external locus, fear, guilt, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, objectification, perception, person centred, person centred theory, political, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, spirituality, trauma, trust, violence | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aggression of blame, blame, blame and responsibility, blaming, collective responsibility, collective scapegoating, collective shadow, commitment to self, compassion, conditional love, conditions of worth, connection, contempt of others, core beliefs, core conditions, core wounding, core wounds, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural projection, cultural violence, empathic connection, empathic failure, empathy, encounter, expanding awareness, failure of empathy, finger pointing, Gil Bailie, hopelessness, human limitations, human needs, invalidation, inward enquiry, inwards enquiry, kindness, lack of validation, Lived Experience, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, meaning of evil, meaning of the crucifixion, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, not good enough, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal development, personal responsibility, personal shadow, phenomenological approach, presence, projecting, projecting shadow, projection, relationship, religious violence, sacred violence, scapegoating, self awareness, self blame, self care, self compassion, self concept, self contempt, self enquiry, self esteem, self expression, self judgement, self judgment, self perception, self worth, self-responsibility, self-structure, separation, shame, shaming, spirituality, suppressing need, suppressing self expression, trust, unlived life, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, Violence Unveiled, wholeness, withdrawal, witnessing, worth as a person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The Election: Of Hate, Grief, and a New Story – Charles Eisenstein

Posted on November 14, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The Election: Of Hate, Grief, and a New Story Click on the link to visit Charles’ website and read this essay. In the writer’s view, Charles is one of the visionaries and big thinkers of our time, because he speaks … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, anger, awakening, blaming, Charles Eisenstein, civil rights, compassion, conflict, congruence, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, ecological, ecological issues, empathy, empowerment, ethics, fear, grief, healing, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, non-conforming, paradigm shift, political, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, shadow, transformation, trauma, violence | Tagged Abhi Ryan, acting out hate, acute trauma, addiction, affordable counselling exeter, age of possibility, alienation, all in this together, alternative, animating force, assigning fault, authenticity, backlash, belittling, bigotry, blame model, blame narrative, blame the racists, blaming, broken society, broken system, brokenness, call of hate, call to action, caricatures of evil, Charles Eisenstein, childhood freedom, civil disobedience, civil disorder, climate change, closing overseas military bases, collapse of containing systems, collapse of dominant institutions, compassion, compassionate inquiry, concentration camps, connection with nature, consciousness shift, constructed reality, containing systems, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative engagement, criminal punishment, cultural collapse, cultural constructs, cultural deterioration, cultural institutions, cultural self harm, culture defining story, custodians of the story, cynicism, DAPL, dark side, deep community, deep state, dehumanising, dehumanization, dehumanizing, dehumanizing ideology, deplorables, depression, derision, disconnection, disintegration, displaced anger, disputing the blame narrative, dissolution of old order, Donald Trump, Donald Trump’s appeal, dying paradigm, dying story, ecocidal system, ecocide, ecological crisis, ecological deterioration, economic crisis, elite policy consensus, empathy, empowering, empowerment, engagement, entrenched systems, environmental crisis, environmental deterioration, environmental harm, essence of racism, evangelizing compassion, existential meaning, false progress, faux progressive feminism, fragmentation, free trade ideology, global finance capital, good evil demarcation, growth imperative, hate and blame, hate and pain, hate as bodyguard for grief, hate vortex, holistic, human degradation, identifying fault, imperative of growth, imperative of progress, imperial wars, injustice, intensifying disorder, interbeing, intimate connection with nature, Islamophobia, Kelly Brogan, kingdom of childhood, labelling, lashing out, letting go of illusions, LGBTQ rights, liberal media, living in a bubble, lost normality, love and fear, low cost counselling exeter, making meaning, marginal practices, marginal structures, meditation, military confrontation, military industrial complex, mirror image, misogyny, motivating emotions, neocon, neoliberal economics, new paradigm, new story, normality, nuclear weapons expansion, objectifying, old paradigm, old story, one earth, one people, one tribe, oppressive system, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Pancho Ramos Stierle, paradigm shift, passivity, person centred counselling exeter, poison pill, political hate, political ideology, political uncertainty, prayers, preconditions for war, prison industrial complex, privilege, privileged classes, programming ideologies, propaganda, racism, regenerative, repudiation of elite, repudiation of establishment, resource extraction, restorative, restorative justice, rewriting political vocabulary, roots of racism, Sarah Fields, self harming, sense of betrayal, sexism, shibboleths, shift in consciousness, social change, social conservatism, social constructs, social harm, solidarity, sourcing from empathy, space between stories, spiritual retreats, surveillance state, sweetening the pill, time of uncertainty, totalitarian, trauma responses, true unknowing, unconditional love, unknowing, us and them, us versus them, victim blaming, water protectors, when normal falls apart, white privilege, world dominating machine, world falling apart, wound of separation, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Maya Angelou on Forgiving yourself

Posted on October 29, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you … Continue reading →

Posted in accountability, actualizing tendency, blaming, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, empathy, empowerment, external locus, forgiveness, growth, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, Maya Angelou, power and powerlessness, self, self concept | Tagged accountability, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, being judged, blaming, conditions of worth, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, empowerment, external locus, forgiving yourself, internal locus, loving yourself, low cost counselling exeter, Maya Angelou, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self condemnation, self empathy, self esteem, self forgiveness, self image, self judgement, self-responsibility, self-structure, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Oriah Mountain Dreamer on being lied about

Posted on September 23, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The writer is only too familiar with the feeling Oriah describes: ‘constricted, shaken, a little frantic….helpless’ – and with the inward and outward impacts of being privately and publicly lied about, with significant harm done. At one level she subscribes … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, anger, blaming, boundaries, bullying, compulsive behaviour, conflict, cultural questions, emotions, empowerment, loss, objectification, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Palace Gate Counselling Service, power and powerlessness, presence, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, shadow, shaming, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged abusive behaviour, acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, being lied about, being with difficult feelings, being with uncomfortable feelings, blame and shame, blame model, blaming, conflict, conflict resolution, controlling behaviour, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating space, dealing with difficult feelings, dealing with injustice, dealing with uncomfortable feelings, dealing with unfairness, despair, family dynamics, group dynamics, harm done, Helplessness, holding difficult feelings, holding uncomfortable feelings, intent to cause harm, intention to cause harm, Karen Davis, lack of control, low cost counselling exeter, Open Door Dreaming, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, powerlessness, projecting shadow, public attack, public humiliation, reputational damage, reputational harm, self concept, self-structure, shaming, shared humanity, sharing experience, sitting with feelings, spaciousness, spirituality, surrender, Telling lies, unawareness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Pema Chödrön on Leaning in & Staying Present

Posted on August 11, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“The next time you lose heart and you can’t bear to experience what you’re feeling, you might recall this instruction: change the way you see it and lean in. Instead of blaming our discomfort on outer circumstances or on our … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, awakening, blaming, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, flow, human condition, mindfulness, organismic experiencing, Pema Chödrön, perception, presence, reality, sadness & pain | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, awakening, blaming, connection, consciousness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, experiential, flow, learning, low cost counselling exeter, mindfulness, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Pema Chödrön, perception, person centred counselling exeter, presence, projecting, resilience, staying with own experience, Taking the Leap, transformation, wisdom, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Send Forgiveness Viral – The Project

Posted on July 25, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Stop the outrage and #SendForgivenessViral | Written by Waleed Aly & Tom Whitty (@twhittyer) #TheProjectTV https://t.co/lMonyEhmB5 — #TheProjectTV (@theprojecttv) July 19, 2016 Forgiveness is a tricky word… The writer has often experienced working with a deeply traumatized human being who … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, anger, blaming, communication, compassion, conflict, congruence, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, external locus, fear, forgiveness, grief, healing, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, loss, love, paradigm shift, perception, person centred, political, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, self concept, shadow, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged #SendForgivenessViral, affordable counselling exeter, awareness, blaming, building relationship, building trust, compassionate presence, conflict resolution, connectedness, connection, construction, constructive dialogue, core conditions, counselling exeter, counselling relationship, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative dialogue, creativity, cycles of destruction, dealing with trauma, defensiveness, destruction, destructive spiral, disconnection, encounter, external locus, fear, fear and trauma, fear base, forgiveness, hate, hate crimes, holding space, how we forgive, internal locus, love base, low cost counselling exeter, moving beyond fear, neutralising threat, neutralizing threat, othering, out of awareness, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centered process, person centred counselling exeter, person centred process, presence, processing trauma, resilience, responding to hate, responding to terrorism, self concept, self-structure, send forgiveness viral, sense of self, shadow, shaming, Sonia Kruger, spiritual bypass, The Project TV, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, threat response, Tom Whitty, trauma and fear, trauma work, trusting the client, trusting the process, unconscious, unowned emotion, unowned feeling, unowned process, Waleed Aly, witnessing, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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