Tag Archives: self judgement

Rachel Naomi Remen on Reclaiming ourselves

Posted on March 6, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Reclaiming ourselves usually means coming to recognize and accept that we have in us both sides of everything. We are capable of fear and courage, generosity and selfishness, vulnerability and strength. These things do not cancel each other out but … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, compassion, empowerment, identity, internal locus of evaluation, perception, Rachel Naomi Remen, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance and healing, accepting complexity, accepting yourself, affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, developing identity, empowerment, escaping binaries, escaping the binary, including yourself, individuation, internal locus, Kitchen Table Wisdom, low cost counselling exeter, maturation process, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, Rachel Naomi Remen, Rachel Remen, reclaiming ourselves, reclaiming shadow, self acceptance, self awareness, self compassion, self concept, self judgement, self kindness, self love, self value, self-structure, shortcomings, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Marshall Rosenberg on criticism of self/other

Posted on November 1, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, “‘What will they think of me?’ must be put aside for bliss.” … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, blaming, compassion, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, Joseph Campbell, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, objectification, perception, relationship, unconditional positive regard | Tagged acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, blame model, blaming, bliss, compassion, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dehumanising, dehumanizing, derogatory, empathy, ethic of service, expressions of trauma, fault and blame, Joseph Campbell, judging others, low cost counselling exeter, Marshall Rosenberg, opportunities to give, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, punitive, self judgement, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The thorn in my side – Anne Lamott

Posted on May 9, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.salon.com/2017/04/02/the-thorn-in-my-side-i-tried-to-let-go-of-my-poisonous-grudge-against-another-writer/ Click on the above link to visit http://www.salon.com for this excerpt from April from Anne’s new book ‘Hallelujah Anyway’. Interesting and open piece about resentment, self blame and moving on through…. Here’s the book link:- Palace Gate Counselling … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, anger, Anne Lamott, blaming, compulsive behaviour, conflict, cultural questions, identity, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, spirituality, surrender | Tagged addiction, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, Anne Lamott, anxiety, anxiety and blame, authenticity, bearing grudges, being competitive, being heard, being judged, being rejected, Bird by Bird, blaming others, blessed are the meek, bondage of self, call and response, competition ethic, competitive tendencies, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conditioning, conditions of worth, confession, connection, control over chaos, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, detachment, disliking yourself, divine love, ethic of service, experiencing jealousy, experiencing rejection, experiencing the gift, feeling competitive, feeling empty, feeling like a fuckup, feeling mean, feeling remorse, feeling shame, finding humility, finite human nature, fixing yourself, forgiveness, fucking up, grace and mercy, Grace Eventually, grief and confusion, Hallelujah Anyway, hearing someone’s pain, Help Thanks Wow, hiding, Imperfect Birds, jealousy and judgement, jealousy and judgment, judging others, keeping secrets, kindness, low cost counselling exeter, mercifulness, mercy, offering mercy, Operating Instructions, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians, person centred counselling exeter, Plan B, presence, rediscovering mercy, regret, remorse, resist less, resistance, Rosie, Schadenfreude, Scoop Nisker, seeing the gift, self blame, self blaming, self concept, self dislike, self judgement, self judging, self judgment, self-loathing, self-structure, sense of emptiness, sense of humility, sense of identity, sense of self, sense of smallness, shaming, Small Victories, Some Assembly Required, spiritual autobiography, spiritual growth, spirituality, St. Paul’s letters, Stitches, submission and servitude, surrender, thorn in my side, toxic behaviour, toxic qualities, Traveling Mercies, truth out loud, try harder, trying and resistance, unconditional love, willingness, working with envy, working with resentment, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Gil Bailie on the Crucifixion & Blame

Posted on April 15, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“The surest way to miss the link between the cure (the crucifixion and its aftereffects) and the disease (the structures of scapegoating violence upon which all human social arrangements have depended) is to read the passion story with an eye … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, awakening, blaming, bullying, civil rights, community, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, core conditions, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, ethics, external locus, fear, guilt, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, objectification, perception, person centred, person centred theory, political, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, spirituality, trauma, trust, violence | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aggression of blame, blame, blame and responsibility, blaming, collective responsibility, collective scapegoating, collective shadow, commitment to self, compassion, conditional love, conditions of worth, connection, contempt of others, core beliefs, core conditions, core wounding, core wounds, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural projection, cultural violence, empathic connection, empathic failure, empathy, encounter, expanding awareness, failure of empathy, finger pointing, Gil Bailie, hopelessness, human limitations, human needs, invalidation, inward enquiry, inwards enquiry, kindness, lack of validation, Lived Experience, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, meaning of evil, meaning of the crucifixion, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, not good enough, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal development, personal responsibility, personal shadow, phenomenological approach, presence, projecting, projecting shadow, projection, relationship, religious violence, sacred violence, scapegoating, self awareness, self blame, self care, self compassion, self concept, self contempt, self enquiry, self esteem, self expression, self judgement, self judgment, self perception, self worth, self-responsibility, self-structure, separation, shame, shaming, spirituality, suppressing need, suppressing self expression, trust, unlived life, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, Violence Unveiled, wholeness, withdrawal, witnessing, worth as a person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Maya Angelou on Forgiving yourself

Posted on October 29, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you … Continue reading →

Posted in accountability, actualizing tendency, blaming, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, empathy, empowerment, external locus, forgiveness, growth, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, Maya Angelou, power and powerlessness, self, self concept | Tagged accountability, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, being judged, blaming, conditions of worth, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, empowerment, external locus, forgiving yourself, internal locus, loving yourself, low cost counselling exeter, Maya Angelou, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self condemnation, self empathy, self esteem, self forgiveness, self image, self judgement, self-responsibility, self-structure, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Never Read the Comments – Liz Gilbert

Posted on June 2, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

” This feels personally relevant to the writer, who has her own experience of group attack, including via the internet, and (some) people’s willingness to make sweeping and vicious statements about other human beings they have never met, based on one … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, anger, autonomy, blaming, boundaries, bullying, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, empowerment, external locus, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, objectification, perception, political, power and powerlessness, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shaming, trauma, violence, vulnerability | Tagged abandoning self, abuse, acknowledgement, acknowledging, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, anticipation, anxiety, armouring, authenticity, awfulising, awfulizing, being of service, being seen, belonging, betrayal, blame and shame model, Brené Brown, Buber, Buber I It, bullying, bystander apathy, caring what others think, catastrophising, catastrophizing, civil rights, clarity of values, closing down, closing your heart, communication, comparing self with others, comparison with others, compassion, conditions of worth, connectedness, connection, consent, consent to publication, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creativity, critics don't count, cruelty, culture of humiliation, cyber-bullying, de-armouring, dealing with criticism, dealing with haters, dealing with uncertainty, disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embarrassment, empathy, ethic of service, ethics, exposure, facing judgement, fear, fear of humiliation, fear of unknown, feedback, freedom of expression, gainsayers, grief, grieving, handling criticism, handling uncertainty, harassment, Human Rights, humiliation, ideal self, innovation, inspiration, interconnectedness, interdependence, internet bullying, judgement, judgemental attitudes, Liz Gilbert, loneliness, loss, love and service, loving presence, low cost counselling exeter, meanness, minority influence, Monica Lewinsky, mortification, objectification, online bullying, online harassment, opening your heart, originality, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, personal history, personal shifts, presence, public humiliation, public shaming, publication without consent, realness, receiving feedback, recontextualising experience, recontextualizing experience, resilience, scarcity mindset, Self, self abandonment, self armouring, self blame, self concept, self critical, self criticism, self discipline, self doubt, self esteem, self judgement, self protection, self worth, self-structure, service, service of the work, shame, shaming, showing up, shutting down, snapchat, spiritual discipline, staying open, suicide, sweaty creative, TED, the man in the arena, the unknown, Theodore Roosevelt, transformation, trauma, trolling, trust, unkindness, upstander, upstanding, value system, valuing yourself, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Matt Licata on not allowing ‘spirituality’ to shame our needs

Posted on January 20, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

This is so important. The blame and shame model is always toxic, whether the more traditional style, or clad in New Age robes. We all feel, and we all need – it’s integral to the human experience. The helpful response is … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, blaming, bullying, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, growth, human condition, immanence, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, presence, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, spirituality, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, touch, vulnerability | Tagged affection, affordable counselling exeter, aggression, aggression of blame, attachment, attunement, being met, being seen, beloved, blame, blaming, caregivers, commitment to self, compassion, completeness, conditional love, conditions of worth, connection, contact, core beliefs, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, dependence, despair, disappointment, Elizabeth Gadd Photography, embodied experience, empathic connection, empathic failure, empathy, encounter, energy, enlightenment, expressing needs, failure of empathy, faith, family of origin, getting needs met in relationship, growth, having needs, hopelessness, human limitations, human needs, invalidation, kindness, lack of validation, Lizzy Gadd, longing, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, low vibration, manifestation, manifesting, Matt Licata, misunderstanding, need for affection, need for contact, need for love, need for touch, need to be heard, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, neediness, New Age, new age fundamentalism, no self, not good enough, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, presence, relational animal, relational mammal, relationship, risk, self blame, self care, self compassion, self concept, self esteem, self expression, self judgement, self judgment, self perception, self worth, self-responsibility, self-structure, separation, shame, shaming, spiritual aggression, spiritual growth, spirituality, suppressing need, suppressing self expression, transcendence, trust, unlived life, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, wholeness, withdrawal, witnessing, worth as a person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yearning | Leave a comment

Brené Brown: Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count

Posted on November 25, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Another useful talk from Brené Brown, which explores creativity, criticism and how she has learned to deal with it. She talks about how important it is that those of us she calls the ‘sweaty creatives’ – or, borrowing from Theodore Roosevelt’s famous words, … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, blaming, Brene Brown, bullying, communication, conditions of worth, creativity, cultural questions, emotions, empathy, empowerment, fear, grief, growth, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, non-conforming, power and powerlessness, presence, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, values & principles, vulnerability | Tagged 99U, abandoning self, acknowledgement, acknowledging, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, anticipation, anxiety, armouring, authenticity, awfulising, awfulizing, being seen, belonging, Brené Brown, caring what others think, catastrophising, catastrophizing, clarity of values, closing down, closing your heart, comparing self with others, comparison with others, conditions of worth, connectedness, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creativity, cruelty, de-armouring, dealing with criticism, dealing with uncertainty, disconnection, empathy, exposure, facing judgement, fear, fear of humiliation, fear of unknown, feedback, gainsayers, Get REAL, grief, grieving, handling criticism, handling uncertainty, humiliation, ideal self, innovation, inspiration, interconnectedness, interdependence, judgemental attitudes, love and service, loving presence, low cost counselling exeter, meanness, opening your heart, originality, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal history, personal shifts, presence, realness, receiving feedback, scarcity mindset, self abandonment, self armouring, self blame, self concept, self critical, self criticism, self doubt, self esteem, self judgement, self protection, self worth, self-structure, service, service of the work, shame, shaming, showing up, shutting down, staying open, sweaty creative, TED, the man in the arena, the unknown, Theodore Roosevelt, trust, unkindness, value system, valuing yourself, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | 1 Comment

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