Tag Archives: self hatred

What Taking Care of Yourself Really Means – Elizabeth Gilbert

Posted on August 29, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/Elizabeth-Gilbert-Practical-Ways-To-Practice-Self-Care?FB=fb_sss_gilbert_self_care Click on the link above for this vitally important and approachable piece by Liz Gilbert (‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and ‘Big Magic’) on how to make sense of the – so difficult for so many – idea of loving yourself:- … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embodiment, empathy, encounter, fear, healing, identity, kindness & compassion, love, Mary Oliver, metaphor & dream, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shame, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged abuse and trauma, abused, affordable counselling exeter, beyond fear, Big Magic, blame cycles, blame model, caring for yourself, Cole Porter, communicating affection, communicating love, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative living, dealing with abuse, dealing with trauma, desperation, edge of terror, effect of lack of love, Elizabeth Gilbert, engaging with agitation, experiencing loneliness, experiencing stress, expressing affection, expressing love, fear of abandonment, fear of being abandoned, fear of being hurt, fear of being left, fear of hurt, how do I love myself, how to love, inner animal, lack of love, Liz Gilbert, loving care, loving yourself, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, managing abuse, Mary Oliver, merely mammals, neglect, neglected animal, neuroses, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, playing, practicing self care, practising self care, raising self esteem, responding to agitation, responding to trauma, Self, self abandonment, self abuse, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self harm, self hatred, self love, self neglect, self stewardship, self-responsibility, shame and blame, shame cycles, showing affection, showing love, soft animal, taking care of your animal, taking care of yourself, tenderness, terror, trauma response, traumatisation, traumatization, traumatized animal, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘Giving up alcohol opened my eyes to the infuriating truth about why women drink’ Kristi Coulter

Posted on July 4, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Giving up alcohol opened my eyes to the infuriating truth about why women drink Click on the above link to visit Quartz Media’s site, for Kristi’s great piece about women, alcohol and our culture. This is from a U.S. perspective … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, advertising, anger, autonomy, awakening, boundaries, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, embodiment, equality, external locus, feminine, Gender & culture, gender identity, guilt, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, mindfulness, non-conforming, objectification, organismic experiencing, perception, physical being, political, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, trust | Tagged acceptance, accepting the unacceptable, addiction, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, altering natural responses, anger as energy, avoiding change, beer yoga, being a woman, being everything, being ignored, being interrupted, being shamed, being underestimated, being undermined, being who you are, belonging, body consciousness, body image, camouflage, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conditioning, conditions of worth, conforming, conformity, conscious living, consciousness, controlling women’s bodies, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural conditioning, cultural disembodiment, cultural pathology, cultural sickness, cultural trauma, dealing with bigotry, dealing with discrimination, dealing with prejudice, disconnecting, disconnecting from emotion, disconnecting from experiencing, disconnecting from feelings, disconnection, disembodied, displacement behaviour, dissociating, doing everything, drink as signifier, drivers, enjoying, enjoyment, equality, escaping reality, experiencing bigotry, experiencing discrimination, experiencing prejudice, facing reality, fairness, faking it, feminine conditioning, feminine role models, feminism, finding enjoyment, finding well being, First World Problems, First World woman, free time, gender oppression, gender privilege, generating well being, intolerable reality, invisibility, it’s not fair, Jiddu Krishnamurti, judginess, judging others, lack of equality, low cost counselling exeter, mansplaining, maternity leave, Matrix, micro aggressions, mindful savoring, mindful savouring, mindfulness, minimising, minimizing, misogyny, need for a drink, needing a drink, no acceptable way to be a woman, no easy way to be a woman, non conforming, non conformity, not knowing, numbing, numbing natural responses, objectification, objectifying, oppression, organismic, overriding yourself, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, patriarchal attitudes, patriarchal oppression, patriarchy, peer pressure, perfection driver, perfectionism, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, Planned Parenthood, purpose of anger, sacred feminine, scarcity of role models, self acceptance, self care, self hatred, self love, self medicating, self rejection, self soothing, self trust, self-loathing, shame, shaming, shaming women, shrinking from reality, sick culture, sick society, sobriety, softening reality, softening the edges, supporting mothers, supporting women, systemic depletion, systemic exhaustion, telling women to smile, toughness, trusting natural responses, trusting who you are, trusting yourself, trying driver, using anger, Vinyasa & Vino, well-being, wetiko, Wetiko Capitalism, wetiko psychosis, Wetikonomy, women drinking, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The Loneliness of Donald Trump – Rebecca Solnit

Posted on June 29, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://lithub.com/rebecca-solnit-the-loneliness-of-donald-trump/ Click on the link above to visit http://www.lithub.com for this perceptive and sad piece by Rebecca. ““They were careless people,” F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote of the rich couple at the heart of The Great Gatsby. “They smashed up things and … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, boundaries, bullying, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, equality, ethics, identity, interconnection & belonging, loneliness, meaning, metaphor & dream, objectification, person centred, political, power, power and powerlessness, reality, self, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, trauma | Tagged A New York City Atlas, absolute power, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alternative facts, always wanting more, American buffoon, awareness, awareness of oneself in relation to others, awareness of others, be careful what you wish for, being closed to others, being mocked, belonging, breaking things, bully of fact, bullying, butt of jokes, calling to account, collective shadow, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, consumer society, consumerism, cooperative relationship, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, covfefe, craving, cultural shadow, democracy of mind and heart, democracy of social discourse, derision, destructive pride, distorted reality, distorted sense of self, Donald Trump, Dorian Gray, echo chamber, ego mind, egomaniacs, enduring challenge, enduring contradiction, equality, equality keeps us honest, everyone is important, existential meaning, expanding awareness, experiencing mockery, experiencing shame, F Scott Fitzgerald, fake university, feeding the beast, feeling worthless, Fisherman's Wife, flattery, fortune’s fool, free press, gaining awareness, grasp exceeding understanding, graven image, hall of mirrors, Hannah Arendt, harming others, hedonism, hubris, hungry ghost, image building, importance of boundaries, importance of consequences, importance of limits, indulgence, inner dialogue, inner ethical compass, insatiable greed, interbeing, internal ethical system, inward ethical system, isolation, it’s not about you, Karma, karmic balance, Krista Tippet, lack of awareness, loneliness, lonely at the top, low cost counselling exeter, Lyndsey Stonebridge, making demands, materialism, meaninglessness, Midas touch, mirroring, moral world, narcissists, need for flattery, nemesis, no concept of otherness, no concept of others, Nonstop Metropolis, objectification, objectifying, Occupy Wall Street, On Being, On the Origins of Totalitarianism, overreach, overreaching, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, peer feedback, person centred counselling exeter, personal shadow, power and glory, power and prominence, power corrupts, powerlessness, powerlessness and inauthenticity, powerlessness and pretence, pretending, privilege, privilege and oblivion, privilege and obliviousness, Pushkin, Rebecca Solnit, reductionism, reflecting mirror, relational responsibility, reputational damage, responsibility to other, retribution, rule of law, self concept, self destruction, self harming, self hatred, self imposed isolation, self protection, self reflection, self-destructive behaviour, self-loathing, self-responsibility, self-structure, sense of self, shadow, shaming, slow suicide, social responsibility, sociopaths, solipsism, subordinating the system of government, suppressing evidence, the banality of evil, The Fisherman and the Golden Fish, The Great Gatsby, The Mother of All Questions, the void, trauma, tyranny, vast carelessness, wanting to have your own way, willingness, worthlessness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

My Name Is Anneke Lucas & I Was a Sex Slave to Europe’s Elite at Age 6

Posted on December 21, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://www.globalcitizen.org/content/anneke-lucass-harrowing-tale-of-sex-trafficking-am/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_content=global&utm_campaign=general-content&linkId=32537951 Click on the above link for this painful and harrowing – also wonderful – piece from Anneke. This piece is remarkable in so many ways: for the fact that a human being – a child – can survive such … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, actualizing tendency, autonomy, blaming, childhood abuse, civil rights, consent, core conditions, creativity, criminal justice model, cultural questions, cultural taboos, dependence, empathy, empowerment, ethics, Gender & culture, generational trauma, healing, identity, immanence, internal locus of evaluation, objectification, pornography, power and powerlessness, resilience, sadness & pain, sexual violence, shadow, shame, shaming, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged addiction to power, affordable counselling exeter, Anneke Lucas, autonomy, awareness, Belgian pedophile network, brokenness, carrying shame, child abuse, child rape, child sex abuse, child sexual abuse, childhood sexual abuse, collective darkness, collective shadow, compassion, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage to heal, CSD, de-identifying, Dutroux case, egoic damage, empathy, energetic body, expanding awareness, feeling broken, feeling loved, feeling seen, harnessing survival strength, healing damaged ego, healing journey, healing trauma, humanity, humiliating, humiliation, identifying with your experience, Kali, letting go, Liberation Prison Yoga, loving your abuser, low cost counselling exeter, Marc Dutroux, mindfulness, moments of clarity, needing attention, needing love, neglect, objectification, objectifying, oppression, orende, paedophile network, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, patriarchy, pedophile network, person centred counselling exeter, personal shadow, post traumatic growth, power addiction, presence, psychic wound, PTSD, recovering memory, recycling abuse, repressing memory, Seeds Beneath the Snow, self abandonment, self empowerment, self hatred, self healing, self worth, self-loathing, sex slave, shadow, shame, soul death, soul purpose, soul wound, speaking truth, suppressing memory, survival strength, survivors of incest, survivors of sex trafficking, survivors of sexual abuse, taking power, trauma work, trauma wound, trauma wounds, traumatic amnesia, traumatic stress, triggers, words of power, wounded feminine, wounded masculine, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Liz Gilbert on how to hold ourselves lovingly when life’s tough

Posted on August 8, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link for this Facebook post by Liz Gilbert (of ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ fame). We posted something from Liz not that long ago – and this feels important, so here is another… People who come to this service … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, blaming, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, emotions, empathy, empowerment, grief, growth, guilt, kindness & compassion, love, Palace Gate Counselling Service, presence, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, transformation, trauma, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged acceptance, accountability, affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, awakening, beautiful freak, being broken, being emotional, being judgmental, being sensitive, being with difficult feeling, brokenness, causing pain to others, compassion, confusion, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dealing with crisis, dealing with divorce, dealing with loss, denial, deserving love, difficult emotion, difficult feeling, distortion, divorce, Elizabeth Gilbert, embarrassment, emotional endurance, empathy, family illness, feeling broken, feeling shame, forgiveness, grace, grief, grieving, haters, hating, hatred, human struggle, hurting others, kindness, kindness to self, Liz Gilbert, loss, love, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, managing crisis, maturing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, practicing self love, radical self acceptance, radical self love, regret, remorse, repression, responding to crisis, self abuse, self acceptance, self attack, self awareness, self care, self compassion, self criticism, self degradation, self doubt, self empathy, self esteem, self hatred, self honesty, self love, self-responsibility, shame, strong emotion, suffering, tenderness, transformation, uncertainty, wishing you were different, withholding, withholding love, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Anne Lamott on The New Year Diet

Posted on December 31, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Characteristic humour and depth from Anne, on a seasonally relevant theme…. This touches on personal experience for me. I have experienced similar battles to Anne’s. In my past life, I regularly embarked on diets. I have also found more of value in deeper connection … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, Anne Lamott, awakening, bodywork, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, cultural questions, Dance, dependence, Disconnection, Eating, embodiment, emotions, healing, humour, identity, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, meditation, mindfulness, movement meditation, objectification, organismic experiencing, perception, person centred, physical being, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged 'eating disorder', addictive behaviour, addictive eating, affordable counselling exeter, Anne Lamott, awakening, awareness, body dysmorphia, body image, building self esteem, compulsive behaviour, compulsive eating, conscious dance, conscious eating, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dieting, displaced behaviour, displaced expression, displacement, embodied being, embodiment, emotional eating, food as love, food as substitute for love, injuries to sense of self, lack of love, low cost counselling exeter, movement meditation, negative body image, new year diet, nourishment, nurture, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, physical being, self abuse, self concept, self esteem, self hatred, self love, self nourishing, self nurture, self punishment, self-loathing, self-structure, sense of self, sugar addiction, sugar craving, therapeutic relationship, therapy, transformation, trauma, trauma response, veganism, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Liz Gilbert on Mercy

Posted on November 23, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Timely post from Liz on the high cost of ‘othering’ people, our interdependence and our need for compassion towards ourselves and each other. Here’s her latest book:- http://www.amazon.co.uk/Big-Magic-Creative-Living-Beyond/dp/1408866730/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1448297023&sr=1-1&keywords=elizabeth+gilbert+big+magic And here’s Mary Gauthier, on the same theme:- https://palacegatecounsellingservice.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/mary-gauthier-mercy-now/ Palace Gate Counselling … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, anger, blaming, communication, compassion, conflict, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, emotions, empathy, ethics, fear, forgiveness, good, grief, guilt, human condition, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, objectification, paradigm shift, political, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged action and reaction, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, altruism, anger, Beirut bombs, belonging, Big Magic, Buber, challenge, closed heart, closing borders, closing down, compassion, connectedness, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, Creative Living Beyond Fear, dehumanising, dehumanizing, despair, difficult experience, difficult feeling, disconnecting, disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, empathy, eye for an eye, fear, feeling cornered, feeling threatened, forgiveness, fragmentation, generosity, grief, grieving, guilt, hard heart, human condition, human nature, human needs, humanity, I it relationship, insularity, interconnection, interdependence, Isis, isolation, kindness, lack of humanity, Liz Gilbert, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, Mali attack, mercilessness, mercy, objectification, objectifying, open heart, opening, oppression, othering, overwhelm, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, panic, Paris attack, people as things, person centred counselling exeter, power and powerlessness, presence, rage, reacting and responding, refugee crisis, relationship, revenge, revolution, sacrifice, self compassion, self concept, self hating, self hatred, self-structure, separation, sharing resources, softening, sorrow, suffering, tenderness, threat, uncomfortable experience, uncomfortable feeling, under threat, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Everything Doesn’t Happen For A Reason – Tim Lawrence

Posted on November 10, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2015/10/19/everything-doesnt-happen-for-a-reason#st_refDomain=www.facebook.com&st_refQuery=/ Immensely useful piece on the importance of grieving, and the unhelpful violence of platitudes and imposed ‘positivity’. As Tim says, we have a deeply harmful cultural inability to speak the language of grief or offer what is most needed – loving … Continue reading →

Posted in communication, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, dying, empathy, encounter, friendship, grief, healing, human condition, interconnection & belonging, loneliness, loss, love, non-conforming, presence, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, tears, transformation, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged absence, accompanying, acknowledging experience, acknowledging pain, adversity, affordable counselling exeter, being with difficult feeling, being with grief, being with uncomfortable feeling, bereavement, betrayal, brokenness, brutality, carrying pain, consequences of loss, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural attitudes to grieving, cultural attitudes to loss, death, dehumanising, dehumanizing, delusional narrative, depersonalisation, depersonalization, despair, devastation, distress, dying, emotional violence, empathy, everything happens for a reason, evolution, fallacy, fantasy, fragility, freedom, grief, grieving, growth, healing, heartbreak, hiding, hopes, hubris, human experience, loss, loss and growth, loss of dreams, lost dreams, lost opportunities, love, low cost counselling exeter, making change, Megan Devine, necessity of grief, need to grieve, non-conforming, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal development, personal responsibility, platitudes, positivity, post traumatic growth, presence, psychological violence, relationship, relationship break up, resilience, responsibility, sanctimony, self concept, self hatred, self help, self reliance, self-sabotage, self-structure, separation, shadow, shame, spiritual violence, suffering, survival, survivor’s guilt, taking responsibility, The Adversity Within, Tim Lawrence, tragedy, transformation, trauma, turning away, understanding, vulnerability, willingness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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