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Tag Archives: self protection
On the Wildness of Children – Carol Black
http://carolblack.org/on-the-wildness-of-children Click on the link above to visit Carol’s website for this well written and profoundly important article. Gratitude to Embercombe for alerting us to this piece via their Facebook page. “But as Odawa elder and educator Wilfred Peltier tells … Continue reading →
Posted in autonomy, awakening, boundaries, Carol Black, child development, cognitive, community, conditions of worth, conflict, consciousness, consent, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, education, ethics, fear, growing up, human condition, meaning, natural world, paradigm shift, parenting, political, power and powerlessness, rewilding, teaching
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Tagged #resist, absorbing culture by osmosis, adapting children, ADHD and modern schooling, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, Aodla Freeman, basic human needs, biodiversity, Carol Black, child centered learning, child centred learning, childhood and freedom, childhood and lack of freedom, children and wildness, children as products, children staying indoors, children with freedom, children’s disconnection from the natural world, children’s instinct for dissent, clan, coercive education, coercive learning, collaboration and learning, complex social structures, confining children, conscious parenting, conscious schooling, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity and education, desire based learning, developing a sense of self, disconnect from nature, disconnection from the natural world, dissent, eco literacy, education and compliance, education and confinement, education and conformity, education and control, education and cultural norms, education and ethics, education and social control, education and social enforcement, education and social engineering, education and submission, education and suppression, educational theory, effect of freedom on children, effect of school on children, efficiency, Ellwood Cubberley, environmental education, ethical principal of consent, ethical principle of non interference, factory education, fear based culture, fear based education, fear based mindset, fear based schooling, fear mindset, fear of wildness, forgetting as coping mechanism, forgetting as resistance, forgetting as strategy, free child, free child outdoors, free play, free thinking, freedom from violence, fundamental human needs, home education, home schooling, how children learn, human relationship and consent, importance of community, importance of connection, importance of consent, importance of relationship with natural world, importance of wildness, inattention as coping mechanism, inattention as resistance, inattention as strategy, indigenous wisdom, institutionalisation, institutionalization, Jack Turner, John Taylor Gatto, land based societies, Leanne Betasamosake Simpson, learning and attentional states, learning and consent, learning appropriate species behavior, learning skills, low cost counselling exeter, meaningful responsibility, measurement as a value, mindfulness, Mini Aodla Freeman, mixed age extended family, modern schooling, nature and man, nature and spirituality, nature of man as spirit, non conformity, non-conforming, obedience, open attention, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, orderliness, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, patriarchy, Paul le Jeune, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, play as learning, punctuality, rebellion in children, rebelliousness, relationship with the natural world, right of self determination, right of self governance, rural life, savage, school and confinement, schooled kids, self preservation, self protection, separation from the natural world, shamanic wisdom, social checks and balances, socialisation, socialization, species nature, standardization, strategies of resistance, student centered learning, student centred learning, supporting creativity in children, Suzanne Gaskins, teaching children about nature, The Abstract Wild, the past is never dead, Thoreau, unforced learning, unmet needs, unreleasable, use of force, village to raise a child, Walking, wild being, wild mind, wildlife rehabilitation, wildness, wildness and civilisation, wildness and civilization, wildness preserves, Wilfred Peltier, William Faulkner, William Torrey Harris, withdrawal as coping mechanism, withdrawal as resistance, withdrawal as strategy, wounded culture, www.carolblack.org, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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Jeff Foster on Sadness and anger
Some extraordinarily important words from Jeff about our relationship with emotions perceived as ‘difficult’ and the judgments these attract…. We are often struck by how common those judgments are, even among the ‘spiritual’ and even among therapists – as if … Continue reading →
Posted in acceptance, anger, boundaries, congruence, Disconnection, emotions, human condition, Jeff Foster, loss, love, meaning, perception, power, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shaming, spirituality, surrender, transformation, vulnerability
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Tagged acceptance, acceptance of emotions, acceptance of feelings, affordable counselling exeter, anger and boundaries, anger and power, authenticity, boundaries, coming home to ourselves, congruence, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, difficult emotions, ego mind, impermanence, Jeff Foster, letting go, love and impermanence, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, purpose of anger, purpose of sadness, remembering ourselves, sacredness, sadness and being open, self protection, separate self, shame and difficult feeling, speaking truth, speaking your truth, transience, use of anger, use of sadness, wholeness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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Screaming to sleep, Part One: The moral imperative to end ‘cry it out’ Amy Wright Glenn
http://www.phillyvoice.com/screaming-sleep/ Click on the link above to visit Philly Voice’s site for this great piece by Amy. If you are a parent, or thinking about being a parent, or if you work with parents, read this… Too many unintentionally traumatised … Continue reading →
Posted in boundaries, child development, cognitive, communication, compassion, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, ethics, family systems, generational trauma, growing up, interconnection & belonging, love, parenting, power and powerlessness, presence, regulation, relationship, sleep, touch, trust, vulnerability
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Tagged affordable counselling exeter, Aha Parenting, Amy Wright Glenn, attachment theory, authentic relationship, babies are not manipulative, babies’ needs, baby care, bad habits in babies, basic human needs, biological dyads, biological sync, bonding with your baby, bonds of attachment, brain connectivity, can babies remember, Caroline Fertleman, child care, child development, childhood development, childhood needs, CIO, co sleeping, coercing children, coercive behaviour, conditioning children, conscious parenting, control and compliance, controlled crying, controlling parental behaviour, coping strategies, coping with stress, coping with trauma, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating autonomy, creating independence, cry it out, crying and cortisol levels, crying babies, developing empathy, development of implicit memory, dominating behaviour, doula, Dr Benjamin Spock, early childhood development, Elizabeth Pantley, emotional regulation, emotional self regulation, enforced compliance, enforced submission, evolutionary attachment theory, evolutionary biology, extinction method, family bed, feeding overnight, forced sleep, forming attachments, forming identity, forming secure attachments, generational trauma, Gentle Sleep Book, gentle sleep training, growing empathy, hold your babies, human anthropology, ignoring a baby’s needs, ignoring crying, implicit memory, importance of connection, importance of contact, importance of touch, infant development, innate need, John Bowlby, lack of support for parents, Laura Markham, learning to self settle, leaving a baby to cry, low cost counselling exeter, managing stress, managing trauma, manipulative as term of abuse, meeting needs, mother and baby as conjoined unit, mother baby dyad, neocortex development, neocortex in babies, neocortex in toddlers, new parent, night waking as normal, night waking in babies, No Cry Sleep Solution, normal physiological behaviour in babies, normal sleep patterns for babies, normal sleep patterns in infancy, paediatric sleep, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, parenting boundaries, Peaceful Parent Happy Kids, person centred counselling exeter, presence, pro social behavior, protective mechanisms in infants, regulation of emotional responses, Richard Ferber, Sarah Ockwell Smith, secure attachment bonds, secure dependence, self preservation, self protection, self regulating, self regulating in babies, self regulation, self settle, self soothing, self soothing in babies, sensitive caregiving, settling babies, settling your baby, shaming mothers, shaming parents, Simone Cave, sleep experts, sleep trainers, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problem, stress mechanisms, supporting parents, why love matters, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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Oriah Mountain Dreamer – The Invitation
‘It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to … Continue reading →
Posted in acceptance, awakening, beauty, compassion, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, Dance, embodiment, emotions, empathy, encounter, fear, flow, friendship, gratitude, grief, human condition, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, mindfulness, natural world, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, perception, poetry, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, relationship, resilience, risk, sadness & pain, self, self concept, surrender, transformation, vulnerability, wonder
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Tagged adventure of being alive, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, authenticity, avoiding pain, beauty and prettiness, being seen, being true to self, betrayal, closing your heart, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, ecstasy, ecstatic dance, encounter, existential meaning, experiencing pain, feeling alive, fully alive, going through the fire, grace, grief and loss, grief process, grieving process, heart's longing, holding space, intimacy, Invitation, letting ourselves be seen, living your truth, low cost counselling exeter, meeting adversity, needing to hide, not fixing, not rescuing, not solving, opening and closing, opening emotionally, opening your heart, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, presence, realness, resilience, resourcing yourself, self protection, self resourcing, sense of limitation, sense of possibility, sitting with pain, speaking your truth, standing in the fire, true to self, trying to avoid pain, wildness, willingness to be seen, willingness to take risks, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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The Loneliness of Donald Trump – Rebecca Solnit
http://lithub.com/rebecca-solnit-the-loneliness-of-donald-trump/ Click on the link above to visit http://www.lithub.com for this perceptive and sad piece by Rebecca. ““They were careless people,” F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote of the rich couple at the heart of The Great Gatsby. “They smashed up things and … Continue reading →
Posted in 'evil', accountability, boundaries, bullying, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, equality, ethics, identity, interconnection & belonging, loneliness, meaning, metaphor & dream, objectification, person centred, political, power, power and powerlessness, reality, self, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, trauma
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Tagged A New York City Atlas, absolute power, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alternative facts, always wanting more, American buffoon, awareness, awareness of oneself in relation to others, awareness of others, be careful what you wish for, being closed to others, being mocked, belonging, breaking things, bully of fact, bullying, butt of jokes, calling to account, collective shadow, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, consumer society, consumerism, cooperative relationship, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, covfefe, craving, cultural shadow, democracy of mind and heart, democracy of social discourse, derision, destructive pride, distorted reality, distorted sense of self, Donald Trump, Dorian Gray, echo chamber, ego mind, egomaniacs, enduring challenge, enduring contradiction, equality, equality keeps us honest, everyone is important, existential meaning, expanding awareness, experiencing mockery, experiencing shame, F Scott Fitzgerald, fake university, feeding the beast, feeling worthless, Fisherman's Wife, flattery, fortune’s fool, free press, gaining awareness, grasp exceeding understanding, graven image, hall of mirrors, Hannah Arendt, harming others, hedonism, hubris, hungry ghost, image building, importance of boundaries, importance of consequences, importance of limits, indulgence, inner dialogue, inner ethical compass, insatiable greed, interbeing, internal ethical system, inward ethical system, isolation, it’s not about you, Karma, karmic balance, Krista Tippet, lack of awareness, loneliness, lonely at the top, low cost counselling exeter, Lyndsey Stonebridge, making demands, materialism, meaninglessness, Midas touch, mirroring, moral world, narcissists, need for flattery, nemesis, no concept of otherness, no concept of others, Nonstop Metropolis, objectification, objectifying, Occupy Wall Street, On Being, On the Origins of Totalitarianism, overreach, overreaching, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, peer feedback, person centred counselling exeter, personal shadow, power and glory, power and prominence, power corrupts, powerlessness, powerlessness and inauthenticity, powerlessness and pretence, pretending, privilege, privilege and oblivion, privilege and obliviousness, Pushkin, Rebecca Solnit, reductionism, reflecting mirror, relational responsibility, reputational damage, responsibility to other, retribution, rule of law, self concept, self destruction, self harming, self hatred, self imposed isolation, self protection, self reflection, self-destructive behaviour, self-loathing, self-responsibility, self-structure, sense of self, shadow, shaming, slow suicide, social responsibility, sociopaths, solipsism, subordinating the system of government, suppressing evidence, the banality of evil, The Fisherman and the Golden Fish, The Great Gatsby, The Mother of All Questions, the void, trauma, tyranny, vast carelessness, wanting to have your own way, willingness, worthlessness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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‘All Together Now’ George Monbiot
http://www.monbiot.com/2017/02/09/all-together-now/ Click on the above link to visit George Monbiot’s own site for this article about how we might begin to restore community. Like George, we believe the antidote to our manifold ills as societies lies in connection, relationship and … Continue reading →
Posted in communication, community, compulsive behaviour, creativity, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, empowerment, encounter, fear, growth, interconnection & belonging, meaning, paradigm shift, political, power and powerlessness, relationship, transformation, vulnerability
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Tagged addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alcohol dependency, alienation, anti politics, belonging, Bernie Sanders, Big Society, care cooperatives, civic commons, co-operatives, collaborative working, community, community building, community businesses, community cafes, community choirs, community heroes, community shops, community spaces, compulsive behaviour, connectedness, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, craft collectives, cultural hubs, culture of separation, deep cooperation, demagoguery, Demagogues, dependency, development trusts, divide and conquer, drug dependency, empathy, environmental sustainability, environmentally sustainable, eroding community, erosion of community, extremism, extremists, extrinsic values, finding connection, food assemblies, fragmented communities, fragmenting social structures, free universities, fun palaces, generating hope, George Monbiot, grassroots politics, green projects, guerilla planting, hybrid business ventures, including people, inclusion, Incredible Edible, individualism, interbeing, interconnection, intrinsic values, involvement, involving people, irrelevance of politics, isolation, Jeremy Corbyn, kinder public life, kindness, kindness in public life, lantern festivals, local collaboration, local currencies, loss of community, loss of connection, loss of political solidarity, low cost counselling exeter, making connection, marginalising, marginalizing, men’s sheds, mental health provision, micro participation, oppression, oppressive culture, oppressive politics, oppressive society, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, participation and commitment, participatory culture, participatory politics, perceived irrelevance of politics, person centred counselling exeter, Playing Out project, political solidarity, politics and hierarchy, politics is dead, politics of individualism, politics of oppression, potluck lunch clubs, rebuilding community, recidivism, reclaiming control, reclaiming power, reducing crime rates, restoring community, restoring political life, revitalisation of community, Rotterdam civic projects, Rotterdam reading room, seeking fame, seeking power, seeking status, self defence mechanisms, self protection, self protective mechanisms, separation, shattered communities, social care, social cohesion, social disintegration, social enterprise, social fragmentation, social isolation, social revival, social safety net, social solidarity, socially cohesive, state provision, Sunday Assembly, taking back power, technology hubs, thick networks, time banking, tipping point, transformation, transforming culture, transition towns, visioning a better world, vulnerability, welfare state, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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‘Trump, Clinton and Trauma’ Gabor Maté
https://drgabormate.com/trump-clinton-trauma/ Click on the link above for this perceptive, accurate and topical article from Gabor from last October – before the U.S. presidential result – on trauma markers in our political leaders, and how levels of trauma normalized in our … Continue reading →
Posted in abuse, bullying, child development, childhood abuse, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, cultural questions, diagnoses of ADHD, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, growing up, identity, parenting, political, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, trauma
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Tagged abusive parenting, adapted child, addictive behaviour, ADHD, adult personality, affordable counselling exeter, Art of the Deal, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, authenticity, authoritarian, authoritarian traits, autocratic traits, bullying, child personality, childhood trauma, cold heartedness, compensating patterns, competitive, conditions of worth, conviction of weakness, coping mechanisms, core fear, core pain, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural emotional underdevelopment, denial of trauma, denying reality, developing impulse control, dismissive parent, distorted emotional development, distorted reality, distorting experience, distorting reality, dogmatism, Donald Trump, early trauma, emotional abuse, emotional coldness, emotional development, emotionally cold parent, empathy, eruptions of rage, escaping from pain, false persona, feeling emotion, forming a persona, Gabor Mate, grandiose behaviour, grandiosity, harsh environment, helpless child, inability to concentrate, inability to pay attention, inauthenticity, indicators of trauma, infantile self regard, insulation against reality, John Ibbitson, judgemental parenting, Kevin Dutton, labeling, labelling, lack of nurture, lack of nurturing care, lack of principles, learned behaviour, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, lying as personality trait, manipulation, markers of trauma, mental states, misogyny, mode of survival, mother wound, motor mouth, narcissistic obsession, narcissistic personality disorder, negative self worth, negative sense of self worth, no early memory, no memories of childhood, not paying attention, NPD, obsessive behaviour, opaque persona, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, poor concentration, poor impulse control, poor recall of childhood, psychiatric labelling, psychiatric labels, public self destruction, reality denial, regulating emotions, repressing awareness, repressing experience, repressing memory, repressing pain, revenge on mother, seductiveness, self centered impulsivity, self concept, self destructing, self image, self obsession, self promotion, self protection, self-structure, short attention span, Stephen Harper, suppressing awareness, suppressing experience, suppressing memory, suppressing pain, survival mechanisms, survival modes, Tony Schwartz, traits of psychopathy, trauma defences, trauma indicators, trauma manifestations, trauma markers, tuning out, tuning out as a way of coping with emotional hurt, tuning out as a way of coping with stress, unconscious beliefs, value of competition, verbal abuse, verbal patterns, verbally abusive parent, well nurtured children, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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Hello self-loathing, my old friend – Elisabeth Svanholmer
Hello Self-loathing, my old friend… Click on the link above to visit Elisabeth’s website – http://www.livinglifegently.live – to read this post. The writer experiences regular turns of this wheel herself, and so do most of those she works with. Elisabeth’s perspective … Continue reading →
Posted in acceptance, autonomy, conditions of worth, cultural questions, cultural taboos, emotions, empathy, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, guilt, hearing voices, immanence, internal locus of evaluation, Jung, kindness & compassion, perception, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, violence, vulnerability
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Tagged acceptance, affirmations, alienation, attachment to beliefs, attempt to reassure, autonomy, awareness, being alongside, being disliked, being judged, belief and sense of purpose, belief systems, better than, body shame, boundaries, cocooning, colluding, community, configurations of self, conflicting beliefs, connection, core belief, cycles of anxiety, cycles of overwhelm, cycles of self loathing, cycles of shame, darker side of being human, death cafes, desire to be hurt, desire to hurt, dialoguing, differing perceptions, differing realities, differing understandings, difficult emotions, discerning, dishonesty, distressing belief, distrust, Elisabeth Svanholmer, emotional withdrawal, emotions, equality, ethical standards, existential meaning, expanding awareness, expressing needs, expression of needs, feeling ashamed of fantasies, feeling ashamed of thoughts, feeling chosen, feeling disconnected, feeling dismissed, feeling frustrated, feeling powerless, feeling special, feeling superior, feeling unacceptable, feeling undeserving, feeling unlovable, feeling unworthy, finding hope, fixing, giving yourself permission, gratitude, hardwired for connection, harshness, harshness to self, hating yourself, having horrible thoughts, hearing multiple voices, hearing voices, hiding from others, hiding from self, higher power, holding beliefs lightly, holding reality lightly, holding space, honouring parts of self, hopefulness, horribleness, human needs, humble, humility, immanence, incongruence, inferiority, intentions, keeping safe, making sense of experience, megalomania, not knowing, numbing, offering reassurance, organising experiences, others’ expectations, pain of self loathing, pep talks, perceptions, pleasing everybody, pleasing people, positive affirmations, protective beliefs, proving yourself, reassuring, recognition, repression, rescuing, secret keeping, seeking approval, seeking reassurance, seeking relief, self care, self compassion, self concept, self containment, self empathy, self hate, self love, self pity, self protection, self talk, self-loathing, self-structure, sense of equality, sense of purpose, shadow, shame, shameful dreams, simplifying beliefs, something wrong with me, spiritual bypass, states of being, staying safe, superiority, suppression, taboos, temporary emotional states, trust, trying to be liked, uncertainty, uncertainty of multiple realities, uncomfortable emotions, unconditional positive regard, unconscious behaviour, unconscious living, unique being, violence, violence to self, Voice Dialogue, withdrawing, witnessing, worthiness, www.livinglifegently.live
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Raising your Havingness Ceiling – Toko-pa
Raising your Havingness Ceiling Click on the above link for this wonderful post by Toko-pa, who is regularly featured here:- ‘As soon as we begin to feel resigned with things being as they are, it is time to resume the … Continue reading →
Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, beauty, consciousness, consent, creativity, empowerment, flow, gratitude, growth, meaning, metaphor & dream, perception, power and powerlessness, reality, risk, self, self concept, self esteem, surrender, Toko-pa, transformation, trust, vulnerability
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Tagged ability to receive, abundance, acceptance of loss, affordable counselling exeter, armouring, completer finisher, consciousness, conversation with our edge, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating abundance, creating an altar, creativity, cycle of life, de-armouring, dealing with rejection, death and rebirth, difficult experience, difficult feeling, dreaming big, encountering challenge, experiencing enthusiasm, experiencing joy, following through, forming intention, gratitude, gratitude journal, havingness, importance of risk, importance of vulnerability, inspiration, intention as prayer, limiting beliefs, living edge, low cost counselling exeter, manifesting abundance, meeting your edge, myth, never settle, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradox, person centred counselling exeter, possibility space, power of the unknown, practice of gratitude, realising potential, reality bending, realizing potential, receiving appreciation, receiving love, risking feeling exposed, risking vulnerability, ritual, scarcity mindset, self belief, self care, self esteem, self limiting beliefs, self protection, self worth, settling, settling for less, surrender, taking risks, Toko-pa, Tokopa, transition, uncomfortable experience, uncomfortable feeling, vulnerability, worthiness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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Jeff Brown on repressing feeling
“Too many of us move through our lives with our true selves buried below layers of repressed emotion. With so much energy channeled toward sustaining the repression, there is little left over for the deeper questions. The consequences of our … Continue reading →
Posted in consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, fear, Jeff Brown, power and powerlessness, Rumi, sadness & pain, self concept, shadow
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Tagged affordable counselling exeter, avoiding difficult feeling, avoiding painful feelings, avoiding uncomfortable feeling, containing feeling, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dealing with your stuff, difficult feeling, guarding against the fire, Jeff Brown, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, repressing emotion, repressing feeling, Rumi, self concept, self creation, self harm, self protection, Soulshaping, suppressing emotion, suppressing feeling, uncomfortable feeling, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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