Tag Archives: unconditional positive regard

‘People (often) don’t need help. They need love. Acceptance’ Monica Cassani

Posted on June 12, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

People (often) don’t need help. They need love. Acceptance. Click on the above link to visit Monica Cassani’s superb resource site: http://www.beyondmeds.com This post describes person-centred in a nutshell, and is what we seek to offer at this service: holding loving … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, autonomy, client as 'expert', congruence, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, growth, healing, love, Monica Cassani, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, person centred, person centred theory, power and powerlessness, psychiatry, self, self concept, self esteem, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, working with clients | Tagged acceptance, acceptance in relationship, acceptance in therapy, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, autonomy in counselling, autonomy in therapy, being broken, brokenness, client as expert, client as whole, core conditions, counselling ethics, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, diminishing relationship, discovering who you are, disempowering, disempowerment in counselling, disempowerment in therapy, egalitarianism, empowering, encounter, equality in therapy, ethic of service, external locus, feeling broken, fixing and helping, healing power of acceptance, helping and fixing, holding space, holistic approach, holistic approach to mental illness, holistic well being, in it together, inner journey, inner landscape, inner work, interior landscape, labeling, labelling, Lived Experience, low cost counselling exeter, mental health labels, mental health model, Monica Cassani, need for acceptance, non hierarchical relationship, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perpetrating counsellor, perpetrating healer, perpetrating therapist, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personhood, politics of oppression, providing support, Rachel Naomi Remen, reductive relationship, safe space, self concept, self esteem, self-structure, sense of wholeness, space holding, unconditional positive regard, UPR, www.beyondmeds.com, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

James O’Dea on peacebuilding

Posted on February 1, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Those who recognize our essential qualities are the true peacebuilders: they let us know that they see the significance of our lives. Meanness of spirit stems from a place of neglect and the absence of nurturance and love. When we … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', actualizing tendency, anger, blaming, communication, community, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, core conditions, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, empowerment, encounter, healing, interconnection & belonging, James O'Dea, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, non-directive counselling, our service, Palace Gate Counselling Service, person centred, person centred theory, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, shadow, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trauma, violence | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, alternative conflict resolution, belonging, bringing peace, community, compassion, conditionality, conditions of worth, connection, conscious activism, conscious activist, conscious engagement, conscious engaging, conscious living, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, countering extremism, countering fascism, countering hate, creating community, deep listening, earth mother, embodying values, emotional wounds, empathy, encounter, engagement, engaging, ethic of service, ethical living, finding tribe, Gaia, healing dialogue, hidden wounds, holistic living, holistic well being, incarnating values, interbeing, interconnectedness, interconnection, James O'Dea, keeping hope, living your values, love based action, love based activism, love paradigm, low cost counselling exeter, maintaining hope, manifesting peace, manifesting values, mother earth, nurturance, nurture in therapy, offering nurture, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, person centered conflict resolution, person centred conflict resolution, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personality theory, power of love, radical generosity, radical inclusion, radical inclusiveness, radical inclusivity, radical kindness, responding to shadow, self concept, self-structure, shadow, supporting peace, unconditional acceptance, unconditional positive regard, unconditionality, web of life, well-being, why love matters, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Teacher Chen Miller on connecting with a distressed child

Posted on December 8, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link to visit Facebook, for this remarkable little film about teacher, Chen Miller. A person-centred way of engaging with distress… Chen is bang on about what works – whatever our age may be. The words in which … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, anger, child development, civil rights, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, education, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, growing up, healing, identity, objectification, parenting, perception, person centred, person centred theory, political, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, teaching, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trust, unconditional positive regard, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, acceptance and change, affirmation, affordable counselling exeter, Chen Miller, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, difficult behaviour, disconnection, empathy, empowering children, empowering teaching, empowerment, encounter, injured sense of self, inner voice, internalising, internalizing, introjecting, introjection, labelling, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centered learning, person centred counselling exeter, person centred learning, person-centered, person-centred, personhood, presence, self belief, self concept, self esteem, self perception, self talk, self-structure, sense of identity, sense of self, shaming, Soul Mama, student centered, student centred, unconditional positive regard, UPR, using praise with children, validation, working with aggression, working with difficult behaviour, working with distress, working with special needs, wounded sense of self, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Hello self-loathing, my old friend – Elisabeth Svanholmer

Posted on November 29, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Hello Self-loathing, my old friend… Click on the link above to visit Elisabeth’s website – http://www.livinglifegently.live – to read this post. The writer experiences regular turns of this wheel herself, and so do most of those she works with. Elisabeth’s perspective … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, autonomy, conditions of worth, cultural questions, cultural taboos, emotions, empathy, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, guilt, hearing voices, immanence, internal locus of evaluation, Jung, kindness & compassion, perception, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, violence, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, affirmations, alienation, attachment to beliefs, attempt to reassure, autonomy, awareness, being alongside, being disliked, being judged, belief and sense of purpose, belief systems, better than, body shame, boundaries, cocooning, colluding, community, configurations of self, conflicting beliefs, connection, core belief, cycles of anxiety, cycles of overwhelm, cycles of self loathing, cycles of shame, darker side of being human, death cafes, desire to be hurt, desire to hurt, dialoguing, differing perceptions, differing realities, differing understandings, difficult emotions, discerning, dishonesty, distressing belief, distrust, Elisabeth Svanholmer, emotional withdrawal, emotions, equality, ethical standards, existential meaning, expanding awareness, expressing needs, expression of needs, feeling ashamed of fantasies, feeling ashamed of thoughts, feeling chosen, feeling disconnected, feeling dismissed, feeling frustrated, feeling powerless, feeling special, feeling superior, feeling unacceptable, feeling undeserving, feeling unlovable, feeling unworthy, finding hope, fixing, giving yourself permission, gratitude, hardwired for connection, harshness, harshness to self, hating yourself, having horrible thoughts, hearing multiple voices, hearing voices, hiding from others, hiding from self, higher power, holding beliefs lightly, holding reality lightly, holding space, honouring parts of self, hopefulness, horribleness, human needs, humble, humility, immanence, incongruence, inferiority, intentions, keeping safe, making sense of experience, megalomania, not knowing, numbing, offering reassurance, organising experiences, others’ expectations, pain of self loathing, pep talks, perceptions, pleasing everybody, pleasing people, positive affirmations, protective beliefs, proving yourself, reassuring, recognition, repression, rescuing, secret keeping, seeking approval, seeking reassurance, seeking relief, self care, self compassion, self concept, self containment, self empathy, self hate, self love, self pity, self protection, self talk, self-loathing, self-structure, sense of equality, sense of purpose, shadow, shame, shameful dreams, simplifying beliefs, something wrong with me, spiritual bypass, states of being, staying safe, superiority, suppression, taboos, temporary emotional states, trust, trying to be liked, uncertainty, uncertainty of multiple realities, uncomfortable emotions, unconditional positive regard, unconscious behaviour, unconscious living, unique being, violence, violence to self, Voice Dialogue, withdrawing, witnessing, worthiness, www.livinglifegently.live | Leave a comment

Thomas Merton on love & empathy

Posted on August 23, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“To love another as a person we must begin by granting him his own autonomy and identity as a person. We have to love him for what he is in himself, and not for what he is to us. We … Continue reading →

Posted in Brent Potter, communication, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, encounter, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, love, presence, relationship, self, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, Thomas Merton, transformation, unconditional positive regard | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, altruism, as if quality, authenticity, autonomy, building relationship, building trust, Carl Rogers, closeness, congruence, connectedness, connection, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating intimacy, empathic connection, empathic love, empathic relationship, empathic understanding, encounter, fundamental truths, human givens, identity, importance of relationship, interconnection, intimacy, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personhood, presence, respectfulness, sacred, Self, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, Thomas Merton, transformation, transformative change, transformative relationship, unconditional positive regard, UPR, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Not invading, not abandoning… Donald Winnicott

Posted on June 3, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The writer was talking to a therapist the other day, who offered her a Donald Winnicott thought – for which many thanks. She cannot quote it directly, as she has not yet been able to track it down (any help … Continue reading →

Posted in autonomy, boundaries, congruence, core conditions, Donald Winnicott, empathy, encounter, love, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, person centred, person centred theory, presence, relationship, therapeutic relationship, trust, unconditional positive regard, working with clients | Tagged abandoning your client, abandonment, affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, congruence, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, Donald Winnicott, empathy, fear of abandonment, loving holding, loving presence, low cost counselling exeter, not invading in counselling, not invading in therapy, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, therapeutic holding, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, unconditional positive regard, UPR, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Brian Thorne on belovedness, sexuality & power in therapy

Posted on May 25, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

In the passage before this excerpt, Brian has been talking about the idea of the ‘beloved’, in the context of the writings of Julian of Norwich. How any of us makes sense of ‘beloved’ will depend on personal experiences and conceptual structures/language. It is an … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, actualizing tendency, autonomy, boundaries, Brian Thorne, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, cultural taboos, embodiment, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, healing, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, love, meaning, non-directive counselling, objectification, perception, person centred, person centred theory, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, self, self concept, sexual being, sexual violence, shadow, spirituality, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trust, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, violence, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged abdicating control, abdicating power, abdication of control, abdication of power, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, anxiety in therapist, beloved, Brian Thorne, Carl Rogers, controlling, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, empowering, empowerment in counselling, empowerment in therapy, equalising, equalising in therapy, equalising power, equalizing, equalizing in therapy, equalizing power, existential value, existential worth, inhabiting self, integrating sexuality, lack of personal power, lack of self love, low cost counselling exeter, mutuality, mutuality in counselling, mutuality in therapy, need to control, need to possess, non directive, non possessive love, non-directive therapy, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, power in therapy, power over, power seeking, pursuit of control, responsiveness, sacredness, seeking validation, self concept, self love, self ownership, self-structure, shadow, shadow work, therapeutic alliance, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, therapist attracted to client, therapist sexuality, therapist shadow, unconditional love, unconditional positive regard, unowned shadow, UPR, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Michael Kahn on the ‘extraordinarily radical’ nature of person-centred

Posted on January 22, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Genuineness, empathy and unconditional positive regard – these, then, are the three attributes that Rogers thought necessary to a successful clinical relationship. I’m sure it has occurred to you that if any of us could always be fully genuine, empathic, … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, Carl Rogers, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, encounter, ethics, growth, internal locus of evaluation, love, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, presence, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, working with clients | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, Between Therapist and Client, Carl Rogers, change in therapy, clinical relationship, congruence, continuing professional development for therapists, core conditions, counselling exeter, counselling theory, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, diagnosis and therapy, diagnosis model, empathic, empathic connection, empathic relating, empathy, encounter, encounter groups, essential therapist attributes, experiential therapy training, genuineness, labeling, labelling, low cost counselling exeter, Michael Kahn, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, PCA, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, prejudice, prizing, process work, professionalism in therapy, realness, realness in therapy, resentment, self awareness, sensitivity, sensitivity enhancement, sensitivity training, therapeutic change, therapeutic growth, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, therapist attributes, therapist awareness, therapist CPD, therapist effectiveness, therapist learning, therapist process, therapist self awareness, therapist sensitivity, therapist warmth, training therapists, unconditional positive regard, UPR, warmth in therapy, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Person-Centred Basics – Dave Mearns & Brian Thorne on Congruence

Posted on January 11, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The sixth in our occasional series of person-centred fundamentals. ‘Why is congruence important? Like empathy and unconditional positive regard, congruence makes it easier for the client to trust the counsellor and the counselling process. If the client accepts the congruence … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, Brian Thorne, communication, congruence, core conditions, Dave Mearns, encounter, equality, non-directive counselling, perception, person centred, person centred theory, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trust, working with clients | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, Brian Thorne, building relationship, concealing, congruence, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, Dave Mearns, demystification, egalitarian relationship, empathy, encounter, equalising power, equality in counselling, equality in therapy, equalizing power, low cost counselling exeter, McDermott, mystification, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, power in therapy, realness, relationship, therapeutic relationship, transparency, trust, unconditional positive regard, UPR, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

James Baldwin on Love

Posted on November 26, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word “love” here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, awakening, compassion, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, fear, growth, human condition, identity, James Baldwin, love, person centred, relationship, self, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, unconditional positive regard | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, awakening, being seen, congruence, conscious living, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, empathy, encounter, fear of being seen, Fire Next Time, growth, hiding, James Baldwin, love, love and growth, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, pretence, quest, relationship, self concept, self realisation, self realization, self-structure, state of being, state of grace, unconditional positive regard, UPR, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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