Category Archives: sadness & pain

Heavy – Mary Oliver

Posted on January 18, 2019 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Deeply sad to hear of the death of Mary Oliver, who has accompanied many of us over the sunlit grasslands and through the tight ravines. Gratitude for all she offers, and to Vera de Chalambert on Facebook for reminding us … Continue reading →

Posted in beauty, consciousness, creativity, dying, emotions, grief, love, Mary Oliver, poetry, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, spirituality, surrender | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, death of Mary Oliver, grief and aliveness, grief and gratitude, grief and love, grieving process, Heavy, loss and grief, low cost counselling exeter, Mary Oliver, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Maya Luna, on staying with….

Posted on December 19, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Beautiful, accurate poem from Maya’s Facebook page. Here are the words, for anyone who has difficulty reading FB links:- “If you cannot help me If you cannot heal me If you cannot solve My problem Will you stay anyways? Just … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, core conditions, cultural questions, emotions, empathy, encounter, grief, healing, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, Maya Luna, person centred, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, surrender, tears, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged accompanying, accompanying another, accompanying someone, affordable counselling exeter, being alongside, brokenness, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, feeling broken, holding space, low cost counselling exeter, Maya Luna, mend my life, not fixing, not trying to fix, other as mirror, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, trust the process, trusting the process, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Thanks by W.S. Merwin

Posted on November 26, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Listen with the night falling we are saying thank you we are stopping on the bridges to bow from the railings we are running out of the glass rooms with our mouths full of food to look at the sky … Continue reading →

Posted in core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, gratitude, grief, loss, love, meaning, natural world, paradigm shift, perception, poetry, sadness & pain, spirituality, violence, vulnerability, W.S. Merwin | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, climate destruction, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, deforestation, ecocide, ecological crisis, forest loss, giving gratitude, gratitude, gratitude and grief, gratitude practice, grief and gratitude, human extinction, low cost counselling exeter, mass extinctions, migration, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, rain forest loss, sick culture, WS Merwin, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

A Poem for the Blue Heron – Mary Oliver

Posted on November 7, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

A Poem for the Blue Heron 1 Now the blue heron wades the cold ponds of November. In the gray light his hunched shoulders are also gray. He finds scant food – a few numbed breathers under a rind … Continue reading →

Posted in creativity, Disconnection, Mary Oliver, natural world, poetry, sadness & pain, suicide | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, American Primitive, Blue Heron, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, low cost counselling exeter, Mary Oliver, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, Poem for the Blue Heron, sadness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Jeff Foster on Sadness and anger

Posted on September 10, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Some extraordinarily important words from Jeff about our relationship with emotions perceived as ‘difficult’ and the judgments these attract…. We are often struck by how common those judgments are, even among the ‘spiritual’ and even among therapists – as if … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, anger, boundaries, congruence, Disconnection, emotions, human condition, Jeff Foster, loss, love, meaning, perception, power, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shaming, spirituality, surrender, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, acceptance of emotions, acceptance of feelings, affordable counselling exeter, anger and boundaries, anger and power, authenticity, boundaries, coming home to ourselves, congruence, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, difficult emotions, ego mind, impermanence, Jeff Foster, letting go, love and impermanence, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, purpose of anger, purpose of sadness, remembering ourselves, sacredness, sadness and being open, self protection, separate self, shame and difficult feeling, speaking truth, speaking your truth, transience, use of anger, use of sadness, wholeness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Reasons not to use ‘timeouts’ or ‘naughty steps’

Posted on August 21, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Useful short film, explaining how ‘timeout’ or the ‘naughty step’ harm your relationship with your child and damage their ability to connect helpfully with their feelings and with you. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994

Posted in anger, blaming, boundaries, child development, communication, compassion, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, family systems, growing up, interconnection & belonging, parenting, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, shame, shaming, teaching, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, building relationship, conscious parenting, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating boundaries, emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, low cost counselling exeter, models of connection, models of disconnection, models of intimacy, models of separation, naughty step, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, time-outs, timeouts, why time outs harm your child, why time outs harm your relationship with your child, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Joanna Macy on the effects of refusing to feel

Posted on June 17, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“The refusal to feel takes a heavy toll. Not only is there an impoverishment of our emotional and sensory life, flowers are dimmer and less fragrant, our loves less ecstatic, but this psychic numbing also impedes our capacity to process … Continue reading →

Posted in awakening, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, grief, Joanna Macy, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, shadow | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, Brené Brown, cannot selectively numb, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, disconnection, importance of emotion, importance of feeling, importance of grief, Joanna Macy, low cost counselling exeter, numbing emotion, numbing feeling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, purpose of emotion, World as Lover World as Self, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Thich Nhat Hanh on those who harm others

Posted on June 5, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” Thich Nhat Hanh This feels wholly … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', communication, compassion, conflict, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, fear, friendship, growth, healing, human condition, interconnection & belonging, love, person centred, person centred theory, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, Thích Nhất Hạnh, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, being received in relationship, being seen, conflicting needs in relationship, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dehumanising, dehumanizing, effect of suffering, healing relationship, human cruelty, human relationship, low cost counselling exeter, meaning of suffering, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, passing pain on, passing suffering on, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, relationship that heals, Thích Nhất Hạnh, therapeutic relationship, transmitting pain, transmitting suffering, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Nayyirah Waheed on loving ourselves

Posted on May 13, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“If someone does not want me, it is not the end of the world. But if I do not want me, the world is nothing but endings.” Nayyirah Waheed Yes, yes, yes. The core of therapy is about coming home … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, cultural questions, Disconnection, identity, interconnection & belonging, love, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, boundaries, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, identity, low cost counselling exeter, Nayyirah Waheed, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, self abandonment, self care, self image, self love, self respect, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Hearing the Cries of the World – Mark Nepo

Posted on April 23, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://parabola.org/2016/06/14/hearing-the-cries-of-the-world-by-mark-nepo/ “True connection requires that a part of us dissolves in order to join with what we meet. This is always both painful and a revelation, as who we are is rearranged slightly, so that aliveness beyond us can enter … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, awakening, community, compassion, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, ethics, fear, flow, grief, growth, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loss, love, paradigm shift, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, surrender, tears, transformation, trauma, violence, vulnerability | Tagged Abraham Heschel, affordable counselling exeter, Akhilandeshvari, aliveness, all our relations, allowing feeling, allowing vulnerability, armouring, authenticity, Avalokiteshvara, being alongside, being broken, being with anxiety, being with pain, being with suffering, belonging, Black Elk, bodhisattva, broken heart, caring for others, chi, collective compassion, collective heart, compassion, compassion fatigue, connectedness, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cries of the Holocaust, cries of the world, de-armouring, denial of being human, denial of humanity, Earth is the Lord’s, empathy, encounter, engaged heart, Enlightened Heart, expanding consciousness, expanding the heart, falling apart, fear of breaking and dissolving, fear of fear, feeling guilt, finding inner resource, finding inner strength, finding inward resource, finding inward strength, fully engaged heart, genocides, genuineness, Ghalib, going numb, grief bruises the heart, grief process, Guanyin, heartbreak, Heaven and Hell, holding the broken, holding the dying, honoring another’s pain, honouring another’s pain, how to help, importance of grief, importance of grieving, importance of lamenting, interbeing, interconnection, inward strength, Joseph Epes Brown, kindness, kinship, Kuan yin, Kwun, lacrimae rerum, lamenting, letting go, life energy, life force, living softly, low cost counselling exeter, making the mystery visible, Mark Nepo, Mirza Ghalib, mourning, mourning for others, mourning for the world, muting suffering, need to feel, need to internalise, need to internalize, need to process, never not broken, oneness, oneness with all things, opening the heart, opening to suffering, openness of heart, overload, overwhelm, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Parabola Magazine, person centred counselling exeter, personal suffering, pleasure from suffering, powerlessness, pulling back, reclaiming humanity, refusal to stay vulnerable, replaying of tragedy, repressed grief, resistance, resources of life, Roman Holiday, running from fear, Sacred Pipe, sadism, sadness, saturation news coverage, Schadenfreude, sea of joy and sorrow, seeking to avoid suffering, sensitivity, shelter in the storm, simple caring, softening, song of existence, source of healing, space to reflect, spiritual growth, staying vulnerable, story-telling, suppressed grief, surrender, tenderness, tending the wounded, torn life, true connection, true kindness, unexpressed grief, unfolding, Unfurling, unnecessary suffering, unvoiced grief, violence, vulnerability, vulnerability and compassion, wanting to help, weight of grief, withdrawing, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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