Tag Archives: empathy

Toko-pa on Invitational presence

Posted on March 25, 2019 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Beautiful description of therapeutic relationship…and indeed relationship… Here’s the wording for anyone who has trouble following Facebook links:- “Whether we are looking to create closeness with others, with nature, or with the living mystery, an invitational presence is the prerequisite … Continue reading →

Posted in community, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, encounter, interconnection & belonging, love, person centred, presence, relationship, therapeutic relationship, Toko-pa | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, attention, attentive listening, attentiveness, being heard, being seen, belonging, closeness, communication, connectedness, connection, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating closeness, creating relationship, deep listening, empathy, encounter, expressing love, expressing understanding, feeling heard, feeling seen, I Thou, inseparability, interconnection, interconnection & belonging, interdependence, intimacy, invitational presence, listening, love, loving relationship, low cost counselling exeter, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, presence, relationship, sacred space, shared memory, tenderness, therapeutic relationship, Toko-pa, trust in relationship, welcoming presence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Hearing the Cries of the World – Mark Nepo

Posted on April 23, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://parabola.org/2016/06/14/hearing-the-cries-of-the-world-by-mark-nepo/ “True connection requires that a part of us dissolves in order to join with what we meet. This is always both painful and a revelation, as who we are is rearranged slightly, so that aliveness beyond us can enter … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, awakening, community, compassion, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, ethics, fear, flow, grief, growth, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loss, love, paradigm shift, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, surrender, tears, transformation, trauma, violence, vulnerability | Tagged Abraham Heschel, affordable counselling exeter, Akhilandeshvari, aliveness, all our relations, allowing feeling, allowing vulnerability, armouring, authenticity, Avalokiteshvara, being alongside, being broken, being with anxiety, being with pain, being with suffering, belonging, Black Elk, bodhisattva, broken heart, caring for others, chi, collective compassion, collective heart, compassion, compassion fatigue, connectedness, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cries of the Holocaust, cries of the world, de-armouring, denial of being human, denial of humanity, Earth is the Lord’s, empathy, encounter, engaged heart, Enlightened Heart, expanding consciousness, expanding the heart, falling apart, fear of breaking and dissolving, fear of fear, feeling guilt, finding inner resource, finding inner strength, finding inward resource, finding inward strength, fully engaged heart, genocides, genuineness, Ghalib, going numb, grief bruises the heart, grief process, Guanyin, heartbreak, Heaven and Hell, holding the broken, holding the dying, honoring another’s pain, honouring another’s pain, how to help, importance of grief, importance of grieving, importance of lamenting, interbeing, interconnection, inward strength, Joseph Epes Brown, kindness, kinship, Kuan yin, Kwun, lacrimae rerum, lamenting, letting go, life energy, life force, living softly, low cost counselling exeter, making the mystery visible, Mark Nepo, Mirza Ghalib, mourning, mourning for others, mourning for the world, muting suffering, need to feel, need to internalise, need to internalize, need to process, never not broken, oneness, oneness with all things, opening the heart, opening to suffering, openness of heart, overload, overwhelm, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Parabola Magazine, person centred counselling exeter, personal suffering, pleasure from suffering, powerlessness, pulling back, reclaiming humanity, refusal to stay vulnerable, replaying of tragedy, repressed grief, resistance, resources of life, Roman Holiday, running from fear, Sacred Pipe, sadism, sadness, saturation news coverage, Schadenfreude, sea of joy and sorrow, seeking to avoid suffering, sensitivity, shelter in the storm, simple caring, softening, song of existence, source of healing, space to reflect, spiritual growth, staying vulnerable, story-telling, suppressed grief, surrender, tenderness, tending the wounded, torn life, true connection, true kindness, unexpressed grief, unfolding, Unfurling, unnecessary suffering, unvoiced grief, violence, vulnerability, vulnerability and compassion, wanting to help, weight of grief, withdrawing, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Marshall Rosenberg on what peace requires from us

Posted on April 16, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', anger, communication, compassion, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, fear, interconnection & belonging, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, perception, power and powerlessness, relationship, shadow, violence, vulnerability | Tagged 'evil', affordable counselling exeter, anger, belief systems, blame, blaming, communication, compassion, conflict, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural questions, cultural values, disconnection, empathy, human condition, human needs, interconnection & belonging, judging, low cost counselling exeter, Marshall Rosenberg, Non Violent Communication, NVC, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, perception, person centred counselling exeter, punishing, punishment, relationship, scapegoating, shaming, social values, unmet needs, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

A Fox & A Mouse – Award-winning animated short ESMA

Posted on January 19, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the You Tube link above for this touching short animation about separateness, encounter, empathy and evolving perceptions/relationship. The directors are Camille Chaix, Hugo Jean, Juliette Jourdan, Marie Pillier and Kevin Roger, with music by Clement Osmont and Olivier … Continue reading →

Posted in compassion, core conditions, creativity, diversity, empathy, encounter, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, metaphor & dream, perception, relationship, transformation, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged A Fox & A Mouse, affordable counselling exeter, age of separation, Camille Chaix, CGI animation, Clement Osmont, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, developing relationship, disconnection, diversity, empathy, encounter, ESMA, Hugo Jean, isolation, Juliette Jourdan, Kevin Roger, low cost counselling exeter, Marie Pillie0, Olivier Defradat, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, separateness, transformative change, transformative experience, transformative relationship, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Dr. Gabor Maté on Donald Trump, Traumaphobia & Compassion – John Lavitt

Posted on January 4, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://www.thefix.com/dr-gabor-mate-donald-trump-traumaphobia-and-compassion-interview ‘…a few days ago, I met a young woman who was an emergency room physician in Detroit, and she had graduated from medical school in Michigan. Although I knew the answer, I asked her how many lectures she had … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, blaming, bullying, child development, childhood abuse, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, criminal justice model, cultural questions, cultural taboos, dependence, Disconnection, empathy, encounter, ethics, external locus, family systems, fear, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, healing, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, meaning, objectification, paradigm shift, perception, political, power, power and powerlessness, psychiatry, research evidence, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged ACE, adaptive compensations, addict, addiction, addiction and trauma, addiction as choice, addiction as inherited brain disease, addiction as moral failing, addiction to profit, addiction treatment, addictive behaviors, addictive behaviours, addictive patterns, adult personality, affordable counselling exeter, being let down, belief systems, BEYOND DRUGS, brain as social organ, bullying, changing public perception, child development, child’s interaction with environment, childhood adversity, childhood circumstances and addiction, childhood trauma, combat veterans, compassion, compassionate treatment of addiction, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, connection with others, core fear, core pain, core threats, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, criminalising behaviour, criminalizing behaviour, cultural dysfunction, cultural hypocrisy, cultural oppression, demeaning, denial of climate change, denying dysfunctions, direction of healing, disappointed idealism, disappointed optimism, disillusionment, domineering personality, Donald Trump, Dr David E Smith, Dr Murthy, drug use, drugs and trauma, dysfunctional behavior, dysfunctional behaviour, dysfunctionality, dysfunctionality of addicted cerebrum, ego defence mechanism, ego defense mechanism, emotional environment, emotional environment and child development, emotional trauma, empathic resonance, empathy, escape from suffering, expanding self awareness, external locus, family systems, focus on capitalist growth, forced treatment, functionality, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, grandiosity, happiness index, helping people, humanity, idealistic hopes, in denial, inherited trauma, John Lavitt, judgment stigma and fear, lack of care, lack of nurture, lack of trauma services, lack of trauma treatment, loss of moral bearings, low cost counselling exeter, low self worth, mainstream medical views, marginalising, marginalizing, materialism, misogyny, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic, narcissistic obsession with self, negative consequences, negative self worth, negative sense of self worth, not judging people, numbing, objectification, opioid epidemic, oppression, othering, overcoming systemic prejudice, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, pathologising Donald Trump, pathologizing Donald Trump, pathology of Donald Trump, person centred counselling exeter, plank in eye, politics of oppression, power and powerlessness, power as marker of success, predisposition to addiction, projection, PTSD, PTSD and childhood trauma, punishing addicts, rageaholic, research on trauma, resistance to change, resistance to reality, role of trauma, role of trauma in addiction, seeing humanity in others, self awareness, self concept, self differentiation, self image, self-structure, sense of superiority, shadow, social exclusion, social ostracism, societal stigma, society in denial, substance use, survival mechanisms, systemic adjustment, systemic change, systemic reactions, the Haight Ashbury Free Clinic, toxic cultural norms, traumaphobia, traumaphobic, traumatised child, traumatized child, traumatized in childhood, Trump as cultural manifestation, Trump Clinton and Trauma, Trump is Obama’s legacy, understanding others, Universal Experience of Addiction, unresolved trauma, vulnerability, wealth as marker of success, why love matters, why was Trump elected, wilful ignorance, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Marshall Rosenberg on criticism of self/other

Posted on November 1, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, “‘What will they think of me?’ must be put aside for bliss.” … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, blaming, compassion, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, Joseph Campbell, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, objectification, perception, relationship, unconditional positive regard | Tagged acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, blame model, blaming, bliss, compassion, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dehumanising, dehumanizing, derogatory, empathy, ethic of service, expressions of trauma, fault and blame, Joseph Campbell, judging others, low cost counselling exeter, Marshall Rosenberg, opportunities to give, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, punitive, self judgement, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Matt Licata on Ego

Posted on October 4, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘Ego’ for many of us becomes a term of abuse for self/other and source of shame. Here’s a radically different and far more accurate/useful take on this…. Thanks, Matt. Here’s the text for those who have difficulty seeing Facebook links:- … Continue reading →

Posted in blaming, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, encounter, human condition, identity, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, meaning, meditation, organismic experiencing, perception, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shame, shaming, spirituality, vulnerability | Tagged 'eating disorder', abandoning experience, addictive behavior, addictive behaviour, addictive eating, affordable counselling exeter, anxious avoidant attachment, aroused nervous system, attachment, attachment figures, attuning to experience, avoiding feeling, avoiding pain, avoiding suffering, blaming, claustrophobia, coming home to yourself, compassionate response, compensatory behavior, compensatory behaviour, complaining, compulsive eating, conceptual spirituality, conscious awareness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, critical thoughts, cycle of abandonment, denying experience, denying feelings, denying pain, denying reality, disembodied, disembodiment, disordered eating, dissociation, doorway into wholeness, ego, ego as process, embodied response, embodied vulnerability, emotional suffering, empathy, escaping vulnerability, existential meaning, experience distant, experiencing ego, experiential, experiential learning, feeling unsafe, Great Mystery, heartbreak, heavy heart, humanness, invitation into presence, kind curiosity, kindness to self, limbic fight flight, longing, low cost counselling exeter, managing anxiety, Matt Licata, meaning of ego, meditative enquiry, moving away from pain, othering, overwhelming anxiety, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, panic, person centred counselling exeter, personal process, presence, process, projective identification, rage, restlessness, returning home, sadness, self abandonment, self aggression, self blaming, self care, self compassion, self empathy, self enquiry, self love, self nurture, self shaming, shame, shaming, spirituality, splitting, vulnerability, warmth, what is ego, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yogic response | Leave a comment

Spinning Straw – Tracy Cochran

Posted on September 12, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://parabola.org/2017/07/30/spinning-straw-by-tracy-cochran/?utm_content=buffer9bcb5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer Click on the link above to visit the site for Parabola Magazine for this remarkable reworking of the Brothers Grimm. It is not long since we published a piece by Tracy – but the writer stumbled upon this at … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, autonomy, beauty, blaming, boundaries, bullying, cognitive, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, consent, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, fear, feminine, good, gratitude, grief, growth, guilt, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, objectification, perception, power, power and powerlessness, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shadow, surrender, Tracy Cochran, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged abandonment, abuse of power, acceptance by the tribe, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, aloneness, ancestors, armouring, Arthur Rackham, asking the impossible, autonomy, autonomy and acceptance, autonomy and belonging, bargaining, being in the shadows, being invisible, being left, being more, being unable to hold boundaries, betrayal, betraying love, betraying truth, betraying what you love, bitterness, boundaries, Brothers Grimm, causing harm, compassion, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, craving life, cut off from life, dare to be straw, deepest humanity, desecrated, desperation, diminishing ourselves, disconnection, divided, doing more, doing the math, ego mind, embodiment, empathy, emptiness, empty life, entitlement, everyone is special, everything is sacred, everything is special, evolutionary biology, existential emptiness, existential meaning, fairy tales, fear as a driver, fear of death, fear of loss, fear reaction, feeding people, feeling connected, feeling invisible, finding a place, finding balance, finding your reflection in another, folklore, fully alive, good enough, Great Mystery, guilt, having a place, having choice, heartfulness, here and now, holding yourself apart from love, holy work, how to live, humility, identity, inner smallness, internal division, invading boundaries, isolating behaviour, joy of connecting, joy of connection, keeping yourself alone, keeping yourself separate, knowing another, knowing each other, lacking choice, learning how to live, life is more precious than gold, listening without judgment, little rattle stilt, living experience, living fully, locating yourself, losing yourself, loss and grief, low cost counselling exeter, meeting needs indirectly, meeting needs obliquely, metamorphosis, metaphor, mind limitation, mind trap, mirror of another, mirror of love, mortality, myth, nameless, needing others, newborn, no such thing as magic, no-one is special, non possessive love, not good enough, not knowing yourself, not special, nothing is sacred, nothing is special, objectification, objectifying, ordinary and sacred, othering, otherworldly, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, power and powerlessness, power over, present moment, privilege, promises and betrayal, pure love, rage, reflection of love, relationship as transaction, remembering ourselves, resilience, responding and reacting, Rumplestiltskin, sacred love, sacredness, science and magic, science not magic, self acceptance, self armouring, self awareness, self betrayal, self concept, self denigration, self enclosed, self enclosure, self hate, self isolation, self knowledge, self limitation, self love, self rejection, self-structure, sense of sacred, shadow, small self, speaking unwisely, speaking wildly, spinning straw, spinning straw into gold, splitting, story-telling, stuckness, submissiveness, submitting, surrender, survival and acceptance, survival and belonging, telling tales, the first mother, The Heart of Oak Books, the wheel turned, the witness, Tracy Cochran, transformation, transience, trapped in your head, trying to explain, trying to save ourselves, trying to save yourself, turning wheel, unbounded love, unconditional love, using others, value of being alive, value of life, wanting approval, wanting closeness, wanting connection, wanting to be acceptable, wanting to be close, wanting to be known, wanting to be seen, wanting to belong, wanting to feel important, wanting to matter, wanting to please, web of life, what keeps us from love, wholesome work, without consent, without judgment, witnessing consciousness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Anne Lamott on Responding to current challenges

Posted on August 25, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

More compassion and wisdom from Anne Lamott, for our U.S. readers, and all of us feeling fear and grief about some of what is happening in our world. Here’s the text, for those who have difficulty seeing Facebook links:- … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, Anne Lamott, beauty, boundaries, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, empowerment, encounter, ethics, fear, gratitude, grief, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, mindfulness, natural world, perception, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, resilience, sadness & pain, shadow, trauma, trust, values & principles, vulnerability, wonder | Tagged activism, affordable counselling exeter, altruism, Anne Lamott, commitment to love, compassion, compassion as activism, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, deep listening, deeper reality, Emily Dickinson, empathy, ethic of love, ethic of service, existential meaning, experiencing crisis, feeling despair, feeling hope, figuring things out, fixing and solving, gratitude and grief, gratitude practice, grief for the world, Hallelujah Anyway, invisible world, keeping hope alive, kindness as activism, love based model, love based paradigm, low cost counselling exeter, managing crisis, not giving up, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, radical compassion, radical kindness, radical self love, Ram Dass, resourcing yourself, responding to despair, rest is a spiritual act, Robyn Posin, Secret of Life, self care, self love, self resourcing, self talk, Tom Weston, transcendent reality, watching your self talk, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

What Chester Bennington’s death tells us about mental health awareness

Posted on July 23, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://doctorgoatblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/22/what-chester-benningtons-death-tells-us-about-mental-health-awareness/ Click on the link above for this wise, heartful post by an anonymous blogger who identifies as Dr Goat. This expresses much of how we make sense of human distress at this service. There is (for example) no evidence … Continue reading →

Posted in anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, borderline personality disorder, CBT, childhood abuse, community, cultural questions, cultural taboos, diagnoses of bipolar, Disconnection, DSM, emotions, empowerment, ethics, external locus, healing, hearing voices, interconnection & belonging, medical model, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, paradigm shift, perception, political, psychiatric abuse, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, psychosis, relationship, sadness & pain, schizophrenia, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trauma, values & principles, violence, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged 1 in 4, accessing support, accumulated distress, ACES, addiction, addressing past trauma, Adverse Childhood Exeperiences, adverse circumstances, adverse events, affordable counselling exeter, anxiety, anxiety and depression, art and trauma, being functional, bereaved by suicide, Big Phama, biomedical intervention, biomedical reductionism, building community, bullying, CBT, CBT as temporary fix, changing behaviour without addressing causes, chemical imbalance theory, Chester Bennington, childhood trauma, cognitive behavioural therapy, collective responsibility to each other, continuing adversity, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, coward’s way out, cuts to health and social care, dealing with abuse, dealing with neglect, dealing with violence, death by suicide, depression, depression as brain disorder, depression as disease, depression as illness, do mental health problems go away, DSM5, economic productivity as measure of worth, effect of bereavement, effect of trauma on health, effect of trauma on well being, emotional states, empathy, enhancing community, enhancing mental health, enhancing relationship, enhancing well being, equating medical with valid, expanded diagnostic criteria, expanding diagnostic criteria, expressing grief, expressing sadness, expressing sorrow, feeling ashamed, feeling embarrassed, feeling shame, fight flight freeze, grief process, grieving process, impact of bereavement, impact of trauma, impact of traumatic experience, individual pathology, interbeing, interconnection, interdependence, invalidating distress, judgemental, Linkin Park, loneliness, long term recovery, low cost counselling exeter, manifestations of mental distress, medical pathology, medical validation of distress, medicalisation of distress, medicalisation of emotion, medicalisation of feeling, medicalisation of human experience, medicalisation of sadness, medicalization of distress, medicalization of emotion, medicalization of feeling, medicalization of human experience, medicalization of sadness, mental distress, mental health awareness, mental health problems, mental health recovery, mental health stigma, mental health support, natural human reactions, need for recovery time, need for rest, need for time to adjust, normal emotions, not functioning, ongoing adversity, over medicalisation, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parity of esteem, past trauma, person centred counselling exeter, person’s context, post traumatic stress, promoting mental health, promoting well being, psychiatric reductionism, public grief, pull yourself together, reactions to suicide, reductionism in biomedical model, relationship breakdown, relationship failure, responding to distress, sexual abuse, shame, social causes of mental distress, social causes of mental health problems, suicide is selfish, suicide narrative, underlying issues, understanding mental health, unresolved distress, vulnerability, whole person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | 1 Comment

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