Category Archives: empathy

Toko-pa on Invitational presence

Posted on March 25, 2019 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Beautiful description of therapeutic relationship…and indeed relationship… Here’s the wording for anyone who has trouble following Facebook links:- “Whether we are looking to create closeness with others, with nature, or with the living mystery, an invitational presence is the prerequisite … Continue reading →

Posted in community, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, encounter, interconnection & belonging, love, person centred, presence, relationship, therapeutic relationship, Toko-pa | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, attention, attentive listening, attentiveness, being heard, being seen, belonging, closeness, communication, connectedness, connection, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating closeness, creating relationship, deep listening, empathy, encounter, expressing love, expressing understanding, feeling heard, feeling seen, I Thou, inseparability, interconnection, interconnection & belonging, interdependence, intimacy, invitational presence, listening, love, loving relationship, low cost counselling exeter, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, presence, relationship, sacred space, shared memory, tenderness, therapeutic relationship, Toko-pa, trust in relationship, welcoming presence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Francis Weller on remembering relationship with the earth

Posted on January 17, 2019 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Still, the ground beneath me felt unsteady, as though at any moment it could shake and easily take me to the ground. I stumbled upon what Zen priest and author Susan Murphy calls the koan of the earth. How do … Continue reading →

Posted in awakening, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, ecological, ecological issues, embodiment, empathy, encounter, ethics, fear, Francis Weller, grief, growth, healing, interconnection & belonging, natural world, paradigm shift, perception, presence, relationship, rewilding, spirituality, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, age of separation, belonging, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural conditioning, culture and disconnection, culture and separation, Francis Weller, grief and grace, grief as rebirth, grief as renewal, grief as sacred, grief as transformation, grief for the earth, grief for the natural world, interior experience, interior landscape, koan of the earth, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, person centred counselling exeter, re-membering, rewilding, Rituals of Renewal, sacredness, sense of isolation, sense of separateness, separate self, small self, sorrow as transformation, stepping beyond the personal, Susan Murphy, The Wild Edge of Sorrow, wilding, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Maya Luna, on staying with….

Posted on December 19, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Beautiful, accurate poem from Maya’s Facebook page. Here are the words, for anyone who has difficulty reading FB links:- “If you cannot help me If you cannot heal me If you cannot solve My problem Will you stay anyways? Just … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, core conditions, cultural questions, emotions, empathy, encounter, grief, healing, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, Maya Luna, person centred, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, surrender, tears, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged accompanying, accompanying another, accompanying someone, affordable counselling exeter, being alongside, brokenness, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, feeling broken, holding space, low cost counselling exeter, Maya Luna, mend my life, not fixing, not trying to fix, other as mirror, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, trust the process, trusting the process, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Reasons not to use ‘timeouts’ or ‘naughty steps’

Posted on August 21, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Useful short film, explaining how ‘timeout’ or the ‘naughty step’ harm your relationship with your child and damage their ability to connect helpfully with their feelings and with you. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994

Posted in anger, blaming, boundaries, child development, communication, compassion, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, family systems, growing up, interconnection & belonging, parenting, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, shame, shaming, teaching, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, building relationship, conscious parenting, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating boundaries, emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, low cost counselling exeter, models of connection, models of disconnection, models of intimacy, models of separation, naughty step, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, time-outs, timeouts, why time outs harm your child, why time outs harm your relationship with your child, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Thich Nhat Hanh on those who harm others

Posted on June 5, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” Thich Nhat Hanh This feels wholly … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', communication, compassion, conflict, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, fear, friendship, growth, healing, human condition, interconnection & belonging, love, person centred, person centred theory, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, Thích Nhất Hạnh, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, being received in relationship, being seen, conflicting needs in relationship, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dehumanising, dehumanizing, effect of suffering, healing relationship, human cruelty, human relationship, low cost counselling exeter, meaning of suffering, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, passing pain on, passing suffering on, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, relationship that heals, Thích Nhất Hạnh, therapeutic relationship, transmitting pain, transmitting suffering, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Hearing the Cries of the World – Mark Nepo

Posted on April 23, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://parabola.org/2016/06/14/hearing-the-cries-of-the-world-by-mark-nepo/ “True connection requires that a part of us dissolves in order to join with what we meet. This is always both painful and a revelation, as who we are is rearranged slightly, so that aliveness beyond us can enter … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, awakening, community, compassion, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, ethics, fear, flow, grief, growth, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loss, love, paradigm shift, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, surrender, tears, transformation, trauma, violence, vulnerability | Tagged Abraham Heschel, affordable counselling exeter, Akhilandeshvari, aliveness, all our relations, allowing feeling, allowing vulnerability, armouring, authenticity, Avalokiteshvara, being alongside, being broken, being with anxiety, being with pain, being with suffering, belonging, Black Elk, bodhisattva, broken heart, caring for others, chi, collective compassion, collective heart, compassion, compassion fatigue, connectedness, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cries of the Holocaust, cries of the world, de-armouring, denial of being human, denial of humanity, Earth is the Lord’s, empathy, encounter, engaged heart, Enlightened Heart, expanding consciousness, expanding the heart, falling apart, fear of breaking and dissolving, fear of fear, feeling guilt, finding inner resource, finding inner strength, finding inward resource, finding inward strength, fully engaged heart, genocides, genuineness, Ghalib, going numb, grief bruises the heart, grief process, Guanyin, heartbreak, Heaven and Hell, holding the broken, holding the dying, honoring another’s pain, honouring another’s pain, how to help, importance of grief, importance of grieving, importance of lamenting, interbeing, interconnection, inward strength, Joseph Epes Brown, kindness, kinship, Kuan yin, Kwun, lacrimae rerum, lamenting, letting go, life energy, life force, living softly, low cost counselling exeter, making the mystery visible, Mark Nepo, Mirza Ghalib, mourning, mourning for others, mourning for the world, muting suffering, need to feel, need to internalise, need to internalize, need to process, never not broken, oneness, oneness with all things, opening the heart, opening to suffering, openness of heart, overload, overwhelm, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Parabola Magazine, person centred counselling exeter, personal suffering, pleasure from suffering, powerlessness, pulling back, reclaiming humanity, refusal to stay vulnerable, replaying of tragedy, repressed grief, resistance, resources of life, Roman Holiday, running from fear, Sacred Pipe, sadism, sadness, saturation news coverage, Schadenfreude, sea of joy and sorrow, seeking to avoid suffering, sensitivity, shelter in the storm, simple caring, softening, song of existence, source of healing, space to reflect, spiritual growth, staying vulnerable, story-telling, suppressed grief, surrender, tenderness, tending the wounded, torn life, true connection, true kindness, unexpressed grief, unfolding, Unfurling, unnecessary suffering, unvoiced grief, violence, vulnerability, vulnerability and compassion, wanting to help, weight of grief, withdrawing, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Marshall Rosenberg on what peace requires from us

Posted on April 16, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', anger, communication, compassion, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, fear, interconnection & belonging, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, perception, power and powerlessness, relationship, shadow, violence, vulnerability | Tagged 'evil', affordable counselling exeter, anger, belief systems, blame, blaming, communication, compassion, conflict, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural questions, cultural values, disconnection, empathy, human condition, human needs, interconnection & belonging, judging, low cost counselling exeter, Marshall Rosenberg, Non Violent Communication, NVC, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, perception, person centred counselling exeter, punishing, punishment, relationship, scapegoating, shaming, social values, unmet needs, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

A Fox & A Mouse – Award-winning animated short ESMA

Posted on January 19, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the You Tube link above for this touching short animation about separateness, encounter, empathy and evolving perceptions/relationship. The directors are Camille Chaix, Hugo Jean, Juliette Jourdan, Marie Pillier and Kevin Roger, with music by Clement Osmont and Olivier … Continue reading →

Posted in compassion, core conditions, creativity, diversity, empathy, encounter, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, metaphor & dream, perception, relationship, transformation, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged A Fox & A Mouse, affordable counselling exeter, age of separation, Camille Chaix, CGI animation, Clement Osmont, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, developing relationship, disconnection, diversity, empathy, encounter, ESMA, Hugo Jean, isolation, Juliette Jourdan, Kevin Roger, low cost counselling exeter, Marie Pillie0, Olivier Defradat, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, separateness, transformative change, transformative experience, transformative relationship, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Dr. Gabor Maté on Donald Trump, Traumaphobia & Compassion – John Lavitt

Posted on January 4, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://www.thefix.com/dr-gabor-mate-donald-trump-traumaphobia-and-compassion-interview ‘…a few days ago, I met a young woman who was an emergency room physician in Detroit, and she had graduated from medical school in Michigan. Although I knew the answer, I asked her how many lectures she had … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, blaming, bullying, child development, childhood abuse, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, criminal justice model, cultural questions, cultural taboos, dependence, Disconnection, empathy, encounter, ethics, external locus, family systems, fear, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, healing, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, meaning, objectification, paradigm shift, perception, political, power, power and powerlessness, psychiatry, research evidence, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged ACE, adaptive compensations, addict, addiction, addiction and trauma, addiction as choice, addiction as inherited brain disease, addiction as moral failing, addiction to profit, addiction treatment, addictive behaviors, addictive behaviours, addictive patterns, adult personality, affordable counselling exeter, being let down, belief systems, BEYOND DRUGS, brain as social organ, bullying, changing public perception, child development, child’s interaction with environment, childhood adversity, childhood circumstances and addiction, childhood trauma, combat veterans, compassion, compassionate treatment of addiction, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, connection with others, core fear, core pain, core threats, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, criminalising behaviour, criminalizing behaviour, cultural dysfunction, cultural hypocrisy, cultural oppression, demeaning, denial of climate change, denying dysfunctions, direction of healing, disappointed idealism, disappointed optimism, disillusionment, domineering personality, Donald Trump, Dr David E Smith, Dr Murthy, drug use, drugs and trauma, dysfunctional behavior, dysfunctional behaviour, dysfunctionality, dysfunctionality of addicted cerebrum, ego defence mechanism, ego defense mechanism, emotional environment, emotional environment and child development, emotional trauma, empathic resonance, empathy, escape from suffering, expanding self awareness, external locus, family systems, focus on capitalist growth, forced treatment, functionality, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, grandiosity, happiness index, helping people, humanity, idealistic hopes, in denial, inherited trauma, John Lavitt, judgment stigma and fear, lack of care, lack of nurture, lack of trauma services, lack of trauma treatment, loss of moral bearings, low cost counselling exeter, low self worth, mainstream medical views, marginalising, marginalizing, materialism, misogyny, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic, narcissistic obsession with self, negative consequences, negative self worth, negative sense of self worth, not judging people, numbing, objectification, opioid epidemic, oppression, othering, overcoming systemic prejudice, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, pathologising Donald Trump, pathologizing Donald Trump, pathology of Donald Trump, person centred counselling exeter, plank in eye, politics of oppression, power and powerlessness, power as marker of success, predisposition to addiction, projection, PTSD, PTSD and childhood trauma, punishing addicts, rageaholic, research on trauma, resistance to change, resistance to reality, role of trauma, role of trauma in addiction, seeing humanity in others, self awareness, self concept, self differentiation, self image, self-structure, sense of superiority, shadow, social exclusion, social ostracism, societal stigma, society in denial, substance use, survival mechanisms, systemic adjustment, systemic change, systemic reactions, the Haight Ashbury Free Clinic, toxic cultural norms, traumaphobia, traumaphobic, traumatised child, traumatized child, traumatized in childhood, Trump as cultural manifestation, Trump Clinton and Trauma, Trump is Obama’s legacy, understanding others, Universal Experience of Addiction, unresolved trauma, vulnerability, wealth as marker of success, why love matters, why was Trump elected, wilful ignorance, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

I’m a Therapist, But I’m Not Your Therapist – Kathleen Smith

Posted on December 30, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://www.thecut.com/2017/12/therapist-friends-ask-for-advice.html?utm_campaign=sou&utm_source=fb&utm_medium=s1 Click on the link above for Kathleen’s thoughtful and perceptive piece…. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994

Posted in boundaries, communication, community, conditions of worth, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, ethics, friendship, growth, healing, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, non-directive counselling, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, vulnerability | Tagged advice and therapy, affordable counselling exeter, asking advice, assumptions, autonomy, boundaries, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, expectations in relationship, expectations of self, internal locus, Kathleen Smith, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, prophet in own land, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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