Tag Archives: self-structure

Parker J Palmer on Paradoxes

Posted on July 30, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“It takes training to think the world apart because we arrive in this world with an instinctive capacity to hold paradoxes together. Watch a young child go through the day, and you will see how action and rest, thought and … Continue reading →

Posted in consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, flow, growth, human condition | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, binary thinking, black and white thinking, compartmentalising, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, disconnected thinking, disconnecting experience, distorted reality, distorted thinking, embracing complexity, embracing paradox, embracing subtlety, emotional fluidity, emotional well being, fluidity and flow, human fluidity, importance of mystery, limiting thoughts, low cost counselling exeter, organismic, over simplifying, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradox, paradox and aliveness, paradox and meaning, Parker J Palmer, Parker Palmer, person centred counselling exeter, self concept, self protective thinking, self-structure, spiritual well being, splitting human experience, splitting paradoxes, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Marion Woodman on Growth

Posted on July 12, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“There is no growth without real feeling. Children not loved for who they are do not learn how to love themselves. Their growth is an exercise in pleasing others, not in expanding through experience. As adults, they must learn to … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, emotions, growing up, growth, love, Marion Woodman, parenting, person centred, presence, relationship, self concept, unconditional positive regard | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, being accepted, Coming Home to Myself, conditional love, conditional regard, conditions of worth, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, deep feeling, experiencing acceptance, feeling emotions, inner child, low cost counselling exeter, Marion Woodman, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, pleasing others, real feeling, receiving nurture, reparenting, seeking approval, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self love, self nurture, self-structure, winning approval, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Rupi Kaur on confusing anger and kindness

Posted on April 30, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Every time you tell your daughter you yell at her out of love you teach her to confuse anger with kindness which seems like a good idea till she grows up to trust men who hurt her cause they look … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, boundaries, child development, communication, cultural questions, family systems, feminine, growing up, kindness & compassion, love, parenting, perception, relationship, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, boundaries, compliance, conditions of worth, conforming, confusing anger and kindness, congruence, conscious parenting, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating boundaries, empowerment, expressing yourself, feminism, internal locus, low cost counselling exeter, misplaced trust, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting and anger, parenting and boundaries, people pleasing, person centred counselling exeter, raising children, realness, rupi kaur, seeking approval, self concept, self esteem, self-determination, self-structure, shouting at children, trust, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Rachel Naomi Remen on Reclaiming ourselves

Posted on March 6, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Reclaiming ourselves usually means coming to recognize and accept that we have in us both sides of everything. We are capable of fear and courage, generosity and selfishness, vulnerability and strength. These things do not cancel each other out but … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, compassion, empowerment, identity, internal locus of evaluation, perception, Rachel Naomi Remen, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance and healing, accepting complexity, accepting yourself, affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, developing identity, empowerment, escaping binaries, escaping the binary, including yourself, individuation, internal locus, Kitchen Table Wisdom, low cost counselling exeter, maturation process, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, Rachel Naomi Remen, Rachel Remen, reclaiming ourselves, reclaiming shadow, self acceptance, self awareness, self compassion, self concept, self judgement, self kindness, self love, self value, self-structure, shortcomings, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Your True Home – John O’Donohue

Posted on January 30, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the above link to visit John O’Donohue’s page on Facebook for this beautiful meditation. We are struck that his conclusion is the same as Carl Rogers – when we are able to come home to ourselves and be … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, autonomy, awakening, community, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, John O'Donohue, loneliness, meaning, meditation, person centred, person centred theory, photographs & pictures, presence, reality, relationship, self, self concept, spirituality, surrender, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, alone in the world, aloneness, awakening, beauty, belonging, bleakness, breaking the spell, coming home to yourself, connectedness, connecting, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative connection, disconnection, emptiness, Eternal Echoes, existential aloneness, existential loneliness, external locus, facing aloneness, false belonging, finding inner rest, finding your inner rhythm, finding your true home, finding yourself, fragmentation, house of your heart, immanence, individuating, inhabiting aloneness, inner knowing, interconnection, interdependence, internal locus, John O'Donohue, learning to listen, listening imagination, loneliness, longing, losing yourself, loving life, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, prayer, presence, sacredness, seeking affirmation, seeking distraction, self acceptance, self concept, self love, self-structure, sense of the sacred, soul voice, source, spirituality, surrender, Thomas a Kempis, transformative change, transition times, true belonging, trusting your inner wisdom, trusting yourself, valuing life, veils of illusion, voice crying in the wilderness, voice of the soul, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Dr. Gabor Maté on Donald Trump, Traumaphobia & Compassion – John Lavitt

Posted on January 4, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://www.thefix.com/dr-gabor-mate-donald-trump-traumaphobia-and-compassion-interview ‘…a few days ago, I met a young woman who was an emergency room physician in Detroit, and she had graduated from medical school in Michigan. Although I knew the answer, I asked her how many lectures she had … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, blaming, bullying, child development, childhood abuse, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, criminal justice model, cultural questions, cultural taboos, dependence, Disconnection, empathy, encounter, ethics, external locus, family systems, fear, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, healing, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, meaning, objectification, paradigm shift, perception, political, power, power and powerlessness, psychiatry, research evidence, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged ACE, adaptive compensations, addict, addiction, addiction and trauma, addiction as choice, addiction as inherited brain disease, addiction as moral failing, addiction to profit, addiction treatment, addictive behaviors, addictive behaviours, addictive patterns, adult personality, affordable counselling exeter, being let down, belief systems, BEYOND DRUGS, brain as social organ, bullying, changing public perception, child development, child’s interaction with environment, childhood adversity, childhood circumstances and addiction, childhood trauma, combat veterans, compassion, compassionate treatment of addiction, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, connection with others, core fear, core pain, core threats, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, criminalising behaviour, criminalizing behaviour, cultural dysfunction, cultural hypocrisy, cultural oppression, demeaning, denial of climate change, denying dysfunctions, direction of healing, disappointed idealism, disappointed optimism, disillusionment, domineering personality, Donald Trump, Dr David E Smith, Dr Murthy, drug use, drugs and trauma, dysfunctional behavior, dysfunctional behaviour, dysfunctionality, dysfunctionality of addicted cerebrum, ego defence mechanism, ego defense mechanism, emotional environment, emotional environment and child development, emotional trauma, empathic resonance, empathy, escape from suffering, expanding self awareness, external locus, family systems, focus on capitalist growth, forced treatment, functionality, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, grandiosity, happiness index, helping people, humanity, idealistic hopes, in denial, inherited trauma, John Lavitt, judgment stigma and fear, lack of care, lack of nurture, lack of trauma services, lack of trauma treatment, loss of moral bearings, low cost counselling exeter, low self worth, mainstream medical views, marginalising, marginalizing, materialism, misogyny, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic, narcissistic obsession with self, negative consequences, negative self worth, negative sense of self worth, not judging people, numbing, objectification, opioid epidemic, oppression, othering, overcoming systemic prejudice, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, pathologising Donald Trump, pathologizing Donald Trump, pathology of Donald Trump, person centred counselling exeter, plank in eye, politics of oppression, power and powerlessness, power as marker of success, predisposition to addiction, projection, PTSD, PTSD and childhood trauma, punishing addicts, rageaholic, research on trauma, resistance to change, resistance to reality, role of trauma, role of trauma in addiction, seeing humanity in others, self awareness, self concept, self differentiation, self image, self-structure, sense of superiority, shadow, social exclusion, social ostracism, societal stigma, society in denial, substance use, survival mechanisms, systemic adjustment, systemic change, systemic reactions, the Haight Ashbury Free Clinic, toxic cultural norms, traumaphobia, traumaphobic, traumatised child, traumatized child, traumatized in childhood, Trump as cultural manifestation, Trump Clinton and Trauma, Trump is Obama’s legacy, understanding others, Universal Experience of Addiction, unresolved trauma, vulnerability, wealth as marker of success, why love matters, why was Trump elected, wilful ignorance, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Spinning Straw – Tracy Cochran

Posted on September 12, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Spinning Straw, by Tracy Cochran Click on the link above to visit the site for Parabola Magazine for this remarkable reworking of the Brothers Grimm. It is not long since we published a piece by Tracy – but the writer … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, autonomy, beauty, blaming, boundaries, bullying, cognitive, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, consent, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, fear, feminine, good, gratitude, grief, growth, guilt, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, objectification, perception, power, power and powerlessness, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shadow, surrender, Tracy Cochran, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged abandonment, abuse of power, acceptance by the tribe, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, aloneness, ancestors, armouring, Arthur Rackham, asking the impossible, autonomy, autonomy and acceptance, autonomy and belonging, bargaining, being in the shadows, being invisible, being left, being more, being unable to hold boundaries, betrayal, betraying love, betraying truth, betraying what you love, bitterness, boundaries, Brothers Grimm, causing harm, compassion, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, craving life, cut off from life, dare to be straw, deepest humanity, desecrated, desperation, diminishing ourselves, disconnection, divided, doing more, doing the math, ego mind, embodiment, empathy, emptiness, empty life, entitlement, everyone is special, everything is sacred, everything is special, evolutionary biology, existential emptiness, existential meaning, fairy tales, fear as a driver, fear of death, fear of loss, fear reaction, feeding people, feeling connected, feeling invisible, finding a place, finding balance, finding your reflection in another, folklore, fully alive, good enough, Great Mystery, guilt, having a place, having choice, heartfulness, here and now, holding yourself apart from love, holy work, how to live, humility, identity, inner smallness, internal division, invading boundaries, isolating behaviour, joy of connecting, joy of connection, keeping yourself alone, keeping yourself separate, knowing another, knowing each other, lacking choice, learning how to live, life is more precious than gold, listening without judgment, little rattle stilt, living experience, living fully, locating yourself, losing yourself, loss and grief, low cost counselling exeter, meeting needs indirectly, meeting needs obliquely, metamorphosis, metaphor, mind limitation, mind trap, mirror of another, mirror of love, mortality, myth, nameless, needing others, newborn, no such thing as magic, no-one is special, non possessive love, not good enough, not knowing yourself, not special, nothing is sacred, nothing is special, objectification, objectifying, ordinary and sacred, othering, otherworldly, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, power and powerlessness, power over, present moment, privilege, promises and betrayal, pure love, rage, reflection of love, relationship as transaction, remembering ourselves, resilience, responding and reacting, Rumplestiltskin, sacred love, sacredness, science and magic, science not magic, self acceptance, self armouring, self awareness, self betrayal, self concept, self denigration, self enclosed, self enclosure, self hate, self isolation, self knowledge, self limitation, self love, self rejection, self-structure, sense of sacred, shadow, small self, speaking unwisely, speaking wildly, spinning straw, spinning straw into gold, splitting, story-telling, stuckness, submissiveness, submitting, surrender, survival and acceptance, survival and belonging, telling tales, the first mother, The Heart of Oak Books, the wheel turned, the witness, Tracy Cochran, transformation, transience, trapped in your head, trying to explain, trying to save ourselves, trying to save yourself, turning wheel, unbounded love, unconditional love, using others, value of being alive, value of life, wanting approval, wanting closeness, wanting connection, wanting to be acceptable, wanting to be close, wanting to be known, wanting to be seen, wanting to belong, wanting to feel important, wanting to matter, wanting to please, web of life, what keeps us from love, wholesome work, without consent, without judgment, witnessing consciousness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Howard Thurman on the sound of the genuine within

Posted on September 6, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of … Continue reading →

Posted in autonomy, conditions of worth, congruence, consciousness, Disconnection, empowerment, external locus, identity, internal locus of evaluation, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, power and powerlessness, presence, self, self concept, trust | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, autonomy, being your own person, congruence, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, empowerment, existential meaning, experiential truth, external authority, external locus, hearing yourself, Howard Thurman, identity, inner locus, internal locus, introjections, inward locus, listening to yourself, living your truth, low cost counselling exeter, non conforming, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, powerlessness, presence, self construct, self empathy, self empowering, self listening, self trust, self-structure, sound of the genuine, true to self, true to yourself, walking your own path, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

John O’Donohue on The Call To Live Everything

Posted on August 9, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

John O’Donohue on diving into our wild depths of aliveness, and not settling. Here’s the text for those who have difficulty seeing Facebook links:- ‘THE CALL TO LIVE EVERYTHING One of the sad things today is that so many people … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, awakening, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, dying, embodiment, empowerment, fear, flow, identity, immanence, internal locus of evaluation, meaning, mindfulness, natural world, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, perception, physical being, presence, rewilding, risk, self, self concept, vulnerability, wonder | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, awakening, awakening your mind, being present, call to live, call to live everything, compromising, conscious living, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, death is waiting, engaging with life, existential meaning, feeling alive, heart open, human being fully alive, human person fully alive, identity, John O'Donohue, living before we die, living before you die, living energy, living fully, low cost counselling exeter, meaning of life, mindfulness, mortality, not living, opening up, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, passion, perception, person centred counselling exeter, personal development, personal growth, possibility, repression, reverence, sacredness, seeing differently, seeking safety, self concept, self-structure, settling, spirituality, story-telling, suppression, transience, unlived life, Walking on the Pastures of Wonder, wanting safety, wanting to be safe, what is sin, wild energy, wild self, wild soul, wildness, www.JohnODonohue.com, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The Loneliness of Donald Trump – Rebecca Solnit

Posted on June 29, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Rebecca Solnit: The Loneliness of Donald Trump Click on the link above to visit http://www.lithub.com for this perceptive and sad piece by Rebecca. ““They were careless people,” F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote of the rich couple at the heart of The Great … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, boundaries, bullying, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, equality, ethics, identity, interconnection & belonging, loneliness, meaning, metaphor & dream, objectification, person centred, political, power, power and powerlessness, reality, self, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, trauma | Tagged A New York City Atlas, absolute power, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alternative facts, always wanting more, American buffoon, awareness, awareness of oneself in relation to others, awareness of others, be careful what you wish for, being closed to others, being mocked, belonging, breaking things, bully of fact, bullying, butt of jokes, calling to account, collective shadow, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, consumer society, consumerism, cooperative relationship, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, covfefe, craving, cultural shadow, democracy of mind and heart, democracy of social discourse, derision, destructive pride, distorted reality, distorted sense of self, Donald Trump, Dorian Gray, echo chamber, ego mind, egomaniacs, enduring challenge, enduring contradiction, equality, equality keeps us honest, everyone is important, existential meaning, expanding awareness, experiencing mockery, experiencing shame, F Scott Fitzgerald, fake university, feeding the beast, feeling worthless, Fisherman's Wife, flattery, fortune’s fool, free press, gaining awareness, grasp exceeding understanding, graven image, hall of mirrors, Hannah Arendt, harming others, hedonism, hubris, hungry ghost, image building, importance of boundaries, importance of consequences, importance of limits, indulgence, inner dialogue, inner ethical compass, insatiable greed, interbeing, internal ethical system, inward ethical system, isolation, it’s not about you, Karma, karmic balance, Krista Tippet, lack of awareness, loneliness, lonely at the top, low cost counselling exeter, Lyndsey Stonebridge, making demands, materialism, meaninglessness, Midas touch, mirroring, moral world, narcissists, need for flattery, nemesis, no concept of otherness, no concept of others, Nonstop Metropolis, objectification, objectifying, Occupy Wall Street, On Being, On the Origins of Totalitarianism, overreach, overreaching, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, peer feedback, person centred counselling exeter, personal shadow, power and glory, power and prominence, power corrupts, powerlessness, powerlessness and inauthenticity, powerlessness and pretence, pretending, privilege, privilege and oblivion, privilege and obliviousness, Pushkin, Rebecca Solnit, reductionism, reflecting mirror, relational responsibility, reputational damage, responsibility to other, retribution, rule of law, self concept, self destruction, self harming, self hatred, self imposed isolation, self protection, self reflection, self-destructive behaviour, self-loathing, self-responsibility, self-structure, sense of self, shadow, shaming, slow suicide, social responsibility, sociopaths, solipsism, subordinating the system of government, suppressing evidence, the banality of evil, The Fisherman and the Golden Fish, The Great Gatsby, The Mother of All Questions, the void, trauma, tyranny, vast carelessness, wanting to have your own way, willingness, worthlessness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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