Category Archives: autonomy

Toko-pa Turner – False belonging & conditionality

Posted on October 3, 2019 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Our longing for community and purpose is so powerful that it can drive us to join groups, relationships, or systems of belief that, to our diminished or divided self, give the false impression of belonging. But places of false belonging … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, autonomy, awakening, community, consciousness, cultural questions, growth, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, self, Toko-pa, transformation | Tagged accepting risk, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, belonging, Belonging Remembering Ourselves Home, conditional acceptance, conditional with self, constricting growth, constriction of the soul, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, devotion to the group mind, false belonging, g;ass ceiling, growing into our truth, human growth, individuating, individuating and belonging, internal locus, letting go, limiting growth, living with uncertainty, longing for community, longing for purpose, longing for tribe, longing to belong, low cost counselling exeter, need for growth, need to grow, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, rebellion and growth, rebellious impulse, self conditionality, stepping into uncertainty, Toko-pa, Toko-pa Turner, transformation, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The biggest issue we face: #WorldMentalHealthDay – Monica Cassani

Posted on October 16, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The biggest issue we face: #WorldMentalHealthDay Click on the above link to visit Monica’s site http://www.beyondmeds.com for this piece she published last week on ‘World Mental Health Day’. Her perspective and ours at this service have lots in common. Both … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, autonomy, consent, cultural questions, cultural taboos, Disconnection, empowerment, ethics, growth, healing, iatrogenic illness, internal locus of evaluation, Monica Cassani, non-conforming, objectification, paradigm shift, perception, power and powerlessness, psychiatric abuse, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, shadow, transformation, trauma, violence | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, alternative mental health care, alternative psychiatric care, attending to the body, authoritarianism as violence, authority as violence, authority over others is violence, autonomy, breaking down, breaking through, can madness save us, care for psychosis, Chris Cole, coercion in medicine, coercive mental health treatment, coercive paradigms, coercive psychiatry, collective caring, coming off psychiatric drugs, community mental health, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, drug free recovery, emotional pain, everything matters, faith, finding a safe space, finding support, forced psychiatric treatment, forced treatment, having well being, healing journey, health and well-being, helping professions, holistic health, iatrogenic injury, improving well being, Jiddu Krishnamurti, learning to live well, loving the body, loving your body, low cost counselling exeter, medical adherence, medical compliance, medical model, medically induced injury, meditation, mental distress, mental health and eating, mental health system, mental health treatment, mental illness system, mental pain, mentally ill, Monica Cassani, needing a safe space, no measure of health, non compliance, non conformity, Open Dialogue, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paying attention, peer support, person centred counselling exeter, personal agency, personal sovereignty, presence, pro choice in psychiatry, professional retraumatisation, professional retraumatization, providing sanctuary, psychiatric drug withdrawal, psychiatric harm, psychiatric labels, recovering and thriving, resistance to treatment as sign of health, retaining agency, Robert Whitaker, self care, self empowering, sick culture, sick society, state of mental health care, support in growth, support in healing, supporting others, supporting vulnerable people, systemic oppression, trauma, trusting your own process, using practice, vulnerability, well adjusted, wellness, withdrawal syndrome, www.beyondmeds.com, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

On the Wildness of Children – Carol Black

Posted on September 19, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://carolblack.org/on-the-wildness-of-children Click on the link above to visit Carol’s website for this well written and profoundly important article. Gratitude to Embercombe for alerting us to this piece via their Facebook page. “But as Odawa elder and educator Wilfred Peltier tells … Continue reading →

Posted in autonomy, awakening, boundaries, Carol Black, child development, cognitive, community, conditions of worth, conflict, consciousness, consent, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, education, ethics, fear, growing up, human condition, meaning, natural world, paradigm shift, parenting, political, power and powerlessness, rewilding, teaching | Tagged #resist, absorbing culture by osmosis, adapting children, ADHD and modern schooling, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, Aodla Freeman, basic human needs, biodiversity, Carol Black, child centered learning, child centred learning, childhood and freedom, childhood and lack of freedom, children and wildness, children as products, children staying indoors, children with freedom, children’s disconnection from the natural world, children’s instinct for dissent, clan, coercive education, coercive learning, collaboration and learning, complex social structures, confining children, conscious parenting, conscious schooling, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity and education, desire based learning, developing a sense of self, disconnect from nature, disconnection from the natural world, dissent, eco literacy, education and compliance, education and confinement, education and conformity, education and control, education and cultural norms, education and ethics, education and social control, education and social enforcement, education and social engineering, education and submission, education and suppression, educational theory, effect of freedom on children, effect of school on children, efficiency, Ellwood Cubberley, environmental education, ethical principal of consent, ethical principle of non interference, factory education, fear based culture, fear based education, fear based mindset, fear based schooling, fear mindset, fear of wildness, forgetting as coping mechanism, forgetting as resistance, forgetting as strategy, free child, free child outdoors, free play, free thinking, freedom from violence, fundamental human needs, home education, home schooling, how children learn, human relationship and consent, importance of community, importance of connection, importance of consent, importance of relationship with natural world, importance of wildness, inattention as coping mechanism, inattention as resistance, inattention as strategy, indigenous wisdom, institutionalisation, institutionalization, Jack Turner, John Taylor Gatto, land based societies, Leanne Betasamosake Simpson, learning and attentional states, learning and consent, learning appropriate species behavior, learning skills, low cost counselling exeter, meaningful responsibility, measurement as a value, mindfulness, Mini Aodla Freeman, mixed age extended family, modern schooling, nature and man, nature and spirituality, nature of man as spirit, non conformity, non-conforming, obedience, open attention, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, orderliness, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, patriarchy, Paul le Jeune, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, play as learning, punctuality, rebellion in children, rebelliousness, relationship with the natural world, right of self determination, right of self governance, rural life, savage, school and confinement, schooled kids, self preservation, self protection, separation from the natural world, shamanic wisdom, social checks and balances, socialisation, socialization, species nature, standardization, strategies of resistance, student centered learning, student centred learning, supporting creativity in children, Suzanne Gaskins, teaching children about nature, The Abstract Wild, the past is never dead, Thoreau, unforced learning, unmet needs, unreleasable, use of force, village to raise a child, Walking, wild being, wild mind, wildlife rehabilitation, wildness, wildness and civilisation, wildness and civilization, wildness preserves, Wilfred Peltier, William Faulkner, William Torrey Harris, withdrawal as coping mechanism, withdrawal as resistance, withdrawal as strategy, wounded culture, www.carolblack.org, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Your True Home – John O’Donohue

Posted on January 30, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the above link to visit John O’Donohue’s page on Facebook for this beautiful meditation. We are struck that his conclusion is the same as Carl Rogers – when we are able to come home to ourselves and be … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, autonomy, awakening, community, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, John O'Donohue, loneliness, meaning, meditation, person centred, person centred theory, photographs & pictures, presence, reality, relationship, self, self concept, spirituality, surrender, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, alone in the world, aloneness, awakening, beauty, belonging, bleakness, breaking the spell, coming home to yourself, connectedness, connecting, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative connection, disconnection, emptiness, Eternal Echoes, existential aloneness, existential loneliness, external locus, facing aloneness, false belonging, finding inner rest, finding your inner rhythm, finding your true home, finding yourself, fragmentation, house of your heart, immanence, individuating, inhabiting aloneness, inner knowing, interconnection, interdependence, internal locus, John O'Donohue, learning to listen, listening imagination, loneliness, longing, losing yourself, loving life, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, prayer, presence, sacredness, seeking affirmation, seeking distraction, self acceptance, self concept, self love, self-structure, sense of the sacred, soul voice, source, spirituality, surrender, Thomas a Kempis, transformative change, transition times, true belonging, trusting your inner wisdom, trusting yourself, valuing life, veils of illusion, voice crying in the wilderness, voice of the soul, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Dreamspeak: Tiny Acorn; Mighty Oak – Toko-pa

Posted on October 25, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://toko-pa.com/2007/08/17/dreamspeak-tiny-acorn-mighty-oak/ Click on the link above to visit Toko-pa’s site for this beautiful and important piece on the personal and collective significance of dreaming, the ‘daimon’ and creativity in its widest sense:- ‘The daimon is in your goosebumps and sudden … Continue reading →

Posted in autonomy, awakening, congruence, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, embodiment, emotions, fear, flow, growth, immanence, interconnection & belonging, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, paradigm shift, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, shadow, sleep, tears, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged activism, affordable counselling exeter, Alice Walker, aliveness, aliveness and emotion, aliveness and feeling, ambiguity, art, art and challenge, art as activism, art as politics, authenticity as rebellion, autonomous dreams, awakening, awakening consciousness, beauty, challenge, chaos of reality, choosing your adventure, collective purpose of dreams, conscious activism, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, creativity as subversive, daimon, difficult events, dream archetypes, dream images, dream intelligence, dream interpretation, dream meanings, dream narratives, dream series, dream themes, dreaming, dreaming as subversive, dreaming intelligence, dreaming yourself awake, dreams, dreams and spiritual meaning, dreams and spirituality, dreams as process, dreams as responses to waking life, dreamspeak, engaging with chaos, feedback loop, feeling alone, finding your calling, following what you love, following your passion, Gospel According to Shug, growing into destiny, growing into fate, hero’s journey, heroine’s journey, influencing reality, inner guidance, interactive dreaming, James Hillman, language of dreams, living artfully, low cost counselling exeter, lucid dreaming, manifesting reality, meaning of dreams, myth, order and chaos, ordering chaos, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, paradox, participating in dreams, person centred counselling exeter, personal and collective, personal daimon, pioneering, psychic events, reality selection, reality television, realness as subversive, rebellion, recurring dreams, repeating history, responsibility, shadow, sincerity, sincerity as rebellion, sincerity as subversive, soul contract, soul purpose, Soul's Code, sudden tears, symbols, Toko-pa, Tokopa, unfolding reality, visions, vocation, waking life, what are dreams for, what is reality, what wants to be seen, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Spinning Straw – Tracy Cochran

Posted on September 12, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://parabola.org/2017/07/30/spinning-straw-by-tracy-cochran/?utm_content=buffer9bcb5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer Click on the link above to visit the site for Parabola Magazine for this remarkable reworking of the Brothers Grimm. It is not long since we published a piece by Tracy – but the writer stumbled upon this at … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, autonomy, beauty, blaming, boundaries, bullying, cognitive, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, consent, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, fear, feminine, good, gratitude, grief, growth, guilt, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, objectification, perception, power, power and powerlessness, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shadow, surrender, Tracy Cochran, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged abandonment, abuse of power, acceptance by the tribe, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, aloneness, ancestors, armouring, Arthur Rackham, asking the impossible, autonomy, autonomy and acceptance, autonomy and belonging, bargaining, being in the shadows, being invisible, being left, being more, being unable to hold boundaries, betrayal, betraying love, betraying truth, betraying what you love, bitterness, boundaries, Brothers Grimm, causing harm, compassion, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, craving life, cut off from life, dare to be straw, deepest humanity, desecrated, desperation, diminishing ourselves, disconnection, divided, doing more, doing the math, ego mind, embodiment, empathy, emptiness, empty life, entitlement, everyone is special, everything is sacred, everything is special, evolutionary biology, existential emptiness, existential meaning, fairy tales, fear as a driver, fear of death, fear of loss, fear reaction, feeding people, feeling connected, feeling invisible, finding a place, finding balance, finding your reflection in another, folklore, fully alive, good enough, Great Mystery, guilt, having a place, having choice, heartfulness, here and now, holding yourself apart from love, holy work, how to live, humility, identity, inner smallness, internal division, invading boundaries, isolating behaviour, joy of connecting, joy of connection, keeping yourself alone, keeping yourself separate, knowing another, knowing each other, lacking choice, learning how to live, life is more precious than gold, listening without judgment, little rattle stilt, living experience, living fully, locating yourself, losing yourself, loss and grief, low cost counselling exeter, meeting needs indirectly, meeting needs obliquely, metamorphosis, metaphor, mind limitation, mind trap, mirror of another, mirror of love, mortality, myth, nameless, needing others, newborn, no such thing as magic, no-one is special, non possessive love, not good enough, not knowing yourself, not special, nothing is sacred, nothing is special, objectification, objectifying, ordinary and sacred, othering, otherworldly, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, power and powerlessness, power over, present moment, privilege, promises and betrayal, pure love, rage, reflection of love, relationship as transaction, remembering ourselves, resilience, responding and reacting, Rumplestiltskin, sacred love, sacredness, science and magic, science not magic, self acceptance, self armouring, self awareness, self betrayal, self concept, self denigration, self enclosed, self enclosure, self hate, self isolation, self knowledge, self limitation, self love, self rejection, self-structure, sense of sacred, shadow, small self, speaking unwisely, speaking wildly, spinning straw, spinning straw into gold, splitting, story-telling, stuckness, submissiveness, submitting, surrender, survival and acceptance, survival and belonging, telling tales, the first mother, The Heart of Oak Books, the wheel turned, the witness, Tracy Cochran, transformation, transience, trapped in your head, trying to explain, trying to save ourselves, trying to save yourself, turning wheel, unbounded love, unconditional love, using others, value of being alive, value of life, wanting approval, wanting closeness, wanting connection, wanting to be acceptable, wanting to be close, wanting to be known, wanting to be seen, wanting to belong, wanting to feel important, wanting to matter, wanting to please, web of life, what keeps us from love, wholesome work, without consent, without judgment, witnessing consciousness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Howard Thurman on the sound of the genuine within

Posted on September 6, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of … Continue reading →

Posted in autonomy, conditions of worth, congruence, consciousness, Disconnection, empowerment, external locus, identity, internal locus of evaluation, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, power and powerlessness, presence, self, self concept, trust | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, autonomy, being your own person, congruence, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, empowerment, existential meaning, experiential truth, external authority, external locus, hearing yourself, Howard Thurman, identity, inner locus, internal locus, introjections, inward locus, listening to yourself, living your truth, low cost counselling exeter, non conforming, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, powerlessness, presence, self construct, self empathy, self empowering, self listening, self trust, self-structure, sound of the genuine, true to self, true to yourself, walking your own path, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Be An Island – Tracy Cochran

Posted on August 31, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Be an Island Click on the above link to visit Tracy’s own site for this helpful piece, which we found through Parabola Magazine on Facebook. Some of the fundamentals around mindfulness practice, presence and gratitude. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, autonomy, awakening, community, compassion, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, encounter, external locus, fear, flow, gratitude, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loneliness, meaning, meditation, mindfulness, natural world, organismic experiencing, perception, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, spirituality, surrender, transformation, trust, wonder | Tagged 4 directions, 7 directions, acceptance of change, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, aliveness, Alphonse Osbert, ancestors, and this too shall pass, autonomy, basic goodness, be an island, be islands, be refuges, being grounded, born anew, bringing attention to our experience, building stories, change and acceptance, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, craving, craving and dopamine, cultivating the witness, death and meaning, desire and dopamine, desiring, dropping down, dropping judgment, ego mind, emotional reactions, everything passes, existential meaning, experiencing without reacting, external locus, feeling cut off, feeling isolated, finding ground, finding meaning, finding stillness, focusing attention, four directions, freedom, fully alive, giving gratitude, giving thanks, gratitude, gratitude practice, Great Mystery, grounded, here and now, holistic, human craving, human desire, human loneliness, human responsiveness, human wanting, hypervigilance, immanence, in the present moment, inhabiting experience, internal locus, introjection, Kodo Sawaki Roshi, learn to relax, learning to relax, letting go, letting go of judgment, living experience, living fully, low cost counselling exeter, making sense of life, making sense of living, meaning of life, meditation, microcosm and macrocosm, mindfulness, mortality and meaning, observing without reacting, obsession, organism always up to something, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, part of the flow, part of the whole, paying attention, person centred counselling exeter, posterior cingulate cortex, practice of meditation, presence, prizing independence, quieting the mind, reacting and responding, reactive emotion, recovering spontaneity, remember who you are, resistance, resistance and suffering, resting in the beat, root of suffering, Roshi, rumination, self sufficient, settling, seven directions, Silence of the Water, spirituality, spontaneity, standing down, staying with now, still point, stillness, telling stories, the way of the Buddha, Tracy Cochran, transformation, transience, transience and meaning, trusting experience, trusting intuition, value of life, ways of grounding, wholeness, witnessing, wonder, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Hildegard of Bingen on finding our own way home

Posted on August 17, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“We cannot live in a world that is interpreted for us by others. An interpreted world is not a home. Part of the terror is to take back our own listening. To use our own voice. To see our own … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, autonomy, awakening, consciousness, empowerment, external locus, fear, human condition, internal locus of evaluation, meaning, organismic experiencing, perception, person centred, person centred theory, self, self concept, trust | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, coming home, coming home to yourself, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, direct experience, empowerment, existential meaning, external authority, finding a voice, finding home, finding your voice, Hildegard of Bingen, home in the world, homecoming, inner authority, internal authority, internal locus, interpretation, inward authority, low cost counselling exeter, organismic, own authority, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, sense of home, trusting yourself, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘Giving up alcohol opened my eyes to the infuriating truth about why women drink’ Kristi Coulter

Posted on July 4, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Giving up alcohol opened my eyes to the infuriating truth about why women drink Click on the above link to visit Quartz Media’s site, for Kristi’s great piece about women, alcohol and our culture. This is from a U.S. perspective … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, advertising, anger, autonomy, awakening, boundaries, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, embodiment, equality, external locus, feminine, Gender & culture, gender identity, guilt, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, mindfulness, non-conforming, objectification, organismic experiencing, perception, physical being, political, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, trust | Tagged acceptance, accepting the unacceptable, addiction, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, altering natural responses, anger as energy, avoiding change, beer yoga, being a woman, being everything, being ignored, being interrupted, being shamed, being underestimated, being undermined, being who you are, belonging, body consciousness, body image, camouflage, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conditioning, conditions of worth, conforming, conformity, conscious living, consciousness, controlling women’s bodies, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural conditioning, cultural disembodiment, cultural pathology, cultural sickness, cultural trauma, dealing with bigotry, dealing with discrimination, dealing with prejudice, disconnecting, disconnecting from emotion, disconnecting from experiencing, disconnecting from feelings, disconnection, disembodied, displacement behaviour, dissociating, doing everything, drink as signifier, drivers, enjoying, enjoyment, equality, escaping reality, experiencing bigotry, experiencing discrimination, experiencing prejudice, facing reality, fairness, faking it, feminine conditioning, feminine role models, feminism, finding enjoyment, finding well being, First World Problems, First World woman, free time, gender oppression, gender privilege, generating well being, intolerable reality, invisibility, it’s not fair, Jiddu Krishnamurti, judginess, judging others, lack of equality, low cost counselling exeter, mansplaining, maternity leave, Matrix, micro aggressions, mindful savoring, mindful savouring, mindfulness, minimising, minimizing, misogyny, need for a drink, needing a drink, no acceptable way to be a woman, no easy way to be a woman, non conforming, non conformity, not knowing, numbing, numbing natural responses, objectification, objectifying, oppression, organismic, overriding yourself, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, patriarchal attitudes, patriarchal oppression, patriarchy, peer pressure, perfection driver, perfectionism, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, Planned Parenthood, purpose of anger, sacred feminine, scarcity of role models, self acceptance, self care, self hatred, self love, self medicating, self rejection, self soothing, self trust, self-loathing, shame, shaming, shaming women, shrinking from reality, sick culture, sick society, sobriety, softening reality, softening the edges, supporting mothers, supporting women, systemic depletion, systemic exhaustion, telling women to smile, toughness, trusting natural responses, trusting who you are, trusting yourself, trying driver, using anger, Vinyasa & Vino, well-being, wetiko, Wetiko Capitalism, wetiko psychosis, Wetikonomy, women drinking, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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