Category Archives: blaming

Reasons not to use ‘timeouts’ or ‘naughty steps’

Useful short film, explaining how ‘timeout’ or the ‘naughty step’ harm your relationship with your child and damage their ability to connect helpfully with their feelings and with you. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994 Advertisements

Posted in anger, blaming, boundaries, child development, communication, compassion, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, family systems, growing up, interconnection & belonging, parenting, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, shame, shaming, teaching, vulnerability | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ursula Le Guin on the unhelpfulness of ideas about ‘deserving’

“For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another … Continue reading

Posted in 'evil', blaming, conditions of worth, cultural questions, ethics, good, guilt, human condition, perception, shaming, Ursula Le Guin | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Linda Graham on Forgiveness

“Forgiveness does not mean condoning, pardoning, forgetting, false reconciliation, appeasement, or sentimentality. It is a practice, daily and lifelong, of cultivating our own inner peace and wisdom that allows us to see that our pain is part of the pain … Continue reading

Posted in acceptance, accountability, anger, blaming, boundaries, ethics, forgiveness, growth, healing, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, perception, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, trust, values & principles | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dr. Gabor Maté on Donald Trump, Traumaphobia & Compassion – John Lavitt

https://www.thefix.com/dr-gabor-mate-donald-trump-traumaphobia-and-compassion-interview ‘…a few days ago, I met a young woman who was an emergency room physician in Detroit, and she had graduated from medical school in Michigan. Although I knew the answer, I asked her how many lectures she had … Continue reading

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, blaming, bullying, child development, childhood abuse, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, criminal justice model, cultural questions, cultural taboos, dependence, Disconnection, empathy, encounter, ethics, external locus, family systems, fear, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, healing, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, meaning, objectification, paradigm shift, perception, political, power, power and powerlessness, psychiatry, research evidence, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I am not your fault – Charlotte Eriksson

“So I am not a broken heart.  I am not the weight I lost or miles or ran and I am not the way I slept on my doorstep under the bare sky in smell of tears and whiskey because … Continue reading

Posted in acceptance, awakening, blaming, compulsive behaviour, consciousness, cultural questions, embodiment, empowerment, grief, growth, healing, internal locus of evaluation, loss, love, meaning, mindfulness, organismic experiencing, perception, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, self, self concept, surrender, trust, vulnerability | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Marshall Rosenberg on criticism of self/other

“We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, “‘What will they think of me?’ must be put aside for bliss.” … Continue reading

Posted in acceptance, blaming, compassion, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, Joseph Campbell, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, objectification, perception, relationship, unconditional positive regard | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rachel Naomi Remen on Silence

“Perhaps the most important thing we bring to another person is the silence in us, not the sort of silence that is filled with unspoken criticism or hard withdrawal. The sort of silence that is a place of refuge, of … Continue reading

Posted in acceptance, blaming, core conditions, empathy, encounter, healing, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, presence, Rachel Naomi Remen, relationship, resilience | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment