Tag Archives: conscious parenting

On the Wildness of Children – Carol Black

Posted on September 19, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://carolblack.org/on-the-wildness-of-children Click on the link above to visit Carol’s website for this well written and profoundly important article. Gratitude to Embercombe for alerting us to this piece via their Facebook page. “But as Odawa elder and educator Wilfred Peltier tells … Continue reading →

Posted in autonomy, awakening, boundaries, Carol Black, child development, cognitive, community, conditions of worth, conflict, consciousness, consent, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, education, ethics, fear, growing up, human condition, meaning, natural world, paradigm shift, parenting, political, power and powerlessness, rewilding, teaching | Tagged #resist, absorbing culture by osmosis, adapting children, ADHD and modern schooling, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, Aodla Freeman, basic human needs, biodiversity, Carol Black, child centered learning, child centred learning, childhood and freedom, childhood and lack of freedom, children and wildness, children as products, children staying indoors, children with freedom, children’s disconnection from the natural world, children’s instinct for dissent, clan, coercive education, coercive learning, collaboration and learning, complex social structures, confining children, conscious parenting, conscious schooling, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity and education, desire based learning, developing a sense of self, disconnect from nature, disconnection from the natural world, dissent, eco literacy, education and compliance, education and confinement, education and conformity, education and control, education and cultural norms, education and ethics, education and social control, education and social enforcement, education and social engineering, education and submission, education and suppression, educational theory, effect of freedom on children, effect of school on children, efficiency, Ellwood Cubberley, environmental education, ethical principal of consent, ethical principle of non interference, factory education, fear based culture, fear based education, fear based mindset, fear based schooling, fear mindset, fear of wildness, forgetting as coping mechanism, forgetting as resistance, forgetting as strategy, free child, free child outdoors, free play, free thinking, freedom from violence, fundamental human needs, home education, home schooling, how children learn, human relationship and consent, importance of community, importance of connection, importance of consent, importance of relationship with natural world, importance of wildness, inattention as coping mechanism, inattention as resistance, inattention as strategy, indigenous wisdom, institutionalisation, institutionalization, Jack Turner, John Taylor Gatto, land based societies, Leanne Betasamosake Simpson, learning and attentional states, learning and consent, learning appropriate species behavior, learning skills, low cost counselling exeter, meaningful responsibility, measurement as a value, mindfulness, Mini Aodla Freeman, mixed age extended family, modern schooling, nature and man, nature and spirituality, nature of man as spirit, non conformity, non-conforming, obedience, open attention, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, orderliness, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, patriarchy, Paul le Jeune, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, play as learning, punctuality, rebellion in children, rebelliousness, relationship with the natural world, right of self determination, right of self governance, rural life, savage, school and confinement, schooled kids, self preservation, self protection, separation from the natural world, shamanic wisdom, social checks and balances, socialisation, socialization, species nature, standardization, strategies of resistance, student centered learning, student centred learning, supporting creativity in children, Suzanne Gaskins, teaching children about nature, The Abstract Wild, the past is never dead, Thoreau, unforced learning, unmet needs, unreleasable, use of force, village to raise a child, Walking, wild being, wild mind, wildlife rehabilitation, wildness, wildness and civilisation, wildness and civilization, wildness preserves, Wilfred Peltier, William Faulkner, William Torrey Harris, withdrawal as coping mechanism, withdrawal as resistance, withdrawal as strategy, wounded culture, www.carolblack.org, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Reasons not to use ‘timeouts’ or ‘naughty steps’

Posted on August 21, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Useful short film, explaining how ‘timeout’ or the ‘naughty step’ harm your relationship with your child and damage their ability to connect helpfully with their feelings and with you. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994

Posted in anger, blaming, boundaries, child development, communication, compassion, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, family systems, growing up, interconnection & belonging, parenting, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, shame, shaming, teaching, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, building relationship, conscious parenting, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating boundaries, emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, low cost counselling exeter, models of connection, models of disconnection, models of intimacy, models of separation, naughty step, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, time-outs, timeouts, why time outs harm your child, why time outs harm your relationship with your child, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Rupi Kaur on confusing anger and kindness

Posted on April 30, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Every time you tell your daughter you yell at her out of love you teach her to confuse anger with kindness which seems like a good idea till she grows up to trust men who hurt her cause they look … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, boundaries, child development, communication, cultural questions, family systems, feminine, growing up, kindness & compassion, love, parenting, perception, relationship, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, boundaries, compliance, conditions of worth, conforming, confusing anger and kindness, congruence, conscious parenting, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating boundaries, empowerment, expressing yourself, feminism, internal locus, low cost counselling exeter, misplaced trust, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting and anger, parenting and boundaries, people pleasing, person centred counselling exeter, raising children, realness, rupi kaur, seeking approval, self concept, self esteem, self-determination, self-structure, shouting at children, trust, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Screaming to sleep, Part One: The moral imperative to end ‘cry it out’ Amy Wright Glenn

Posted on November 2, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.phillyvoice.com/screaming-sleep/ Click on the link above to visit Philly Voice’s site for this great piece by Amy. If you are a parent, or thinking about being a parent, or if you work with parents, read this… Too many unintentionally traumatised … Continue reading →

Posted in boundaries, child development, cognitive, communication, compassion, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, ethics, family systems, generational trauma, growing up, interconnection & belonging, love, parenting, power and powerlessness, presence, regulation, relationship, sleep, touch, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, Aha Parenting, Amy Wright Glenn, attachment theory, authentic relationship, babies are not manipulative, babies’ needs, baby care, bad habits in babies, basic human needs, biological dyads, biological sync, bonding with your baby, bonds of attachment, brain connectivity, can babies remember, Caroline Fertleman, child care, child development, childhood development, childhood needs, CIO, co sleeping, coercing children, coercive behaviour, conditioning children, conscious parenting, control and compliance, controlled crying, controlling parental behaviour, coping strategies, coping with stress, coping with trauma, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating autonomy, creating independence, cry it out, crying and cortisol levels, crying babies, developing empathy, development of implicit memory, dominating behaviour, doula, Dr Benjamin Spock, early childhood development, Elizabeth Pantley, emotional regulation, emotional self regulation, enforced compliance, enforced submission, evolutionary attachment theory, evolutionary biology, extinction method, family bed, feeding overnight, forced sleep, forming attachments, forming identity, forming secure attachments, generational trauma, Gentle Sleep Book, gentle sleep training, growing empathy, hold your babies, human anthropology, ignoring a baby’s needs, ignoring crying, implicit memory, importance of connection, importance of contact, importance of touch, infant development, innate need, John Bowlby, lack of support for parents, Laura Markham, learning to self settle, leaving a baby to cry, low cost counselling exeter, managing stress, managing trauma, manipulative as term of abuse, meeting needs, mother and baby as conjoined unit, mother baby dyad, neocortex development, neocortex in babies, neocortex in toddlers, new parent, night waking as normal, night waking in babies, No Cry Sleep Solution, normal physiological behaviour in babies, normal sleep patterns for babies, normal sleep patterns in infancy, paediatric sleep, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, parenting boundaries, Peaceful Parent Happy Kids, person centred counselling exeter, presence, pro social behavior, protective mechanisms in infants, regulation of emotional responses, Richard Ferber, Sarah Ockwell Smith, secure attachment bonds, secure dependence, self preservation, self protection, self regulating, self regulating in babies, self regulation, self settle, self soothing, self soothing in babies, sensitive caregiving, settling babies, settling your baby, shaming mothers, shaming parents, Simone Cave, sleep experts, sleep trainers, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problem, stress mechanisms, supporting parents, why love matters, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Helping my daughter become whom she is meant to be

Posted on March 30, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/2012/06/helping-my-daughter-become-who-she-is-meant-to-be/ Click on the above link to visit http://www.handinhandparenting.org for this gorgeous and profound account of a mother supporting her 3 year old daughter through manifestations of distress, and thereby in dropping down into re-experiencing/processing and releasing birth trauma – with … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, anger, birth trauma, child development, communication, core conditions, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, family systems, fear, growing up, guilt, Hand in Hand Parenting, healing, interconnection & belonging, parenting, physical being, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, tears, transformation, trauma | Tagged ADHD, affordable counselling exeter, aggression in children, aggressive behaviour, allowing children to cry, allowing crying, allowing your child to cry, birth trauma, biting in children, bouts of aggression, catharsis, cathartic crying, cathartic response, childhood aggression, conscious parenting, core pain, core upset, core wound, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating safe space, distress in children, effect of birth trauma, embodied pain, embodiment, emotional release, energy body, energy release, expressing fear, facilitating crying, facilitating tears, faddy eating, feeling trapped, guilt and remorse, Hand in Hand Parenting, healing through tears, helping your child with aggression, hitting in children, holding space, hyperactivity, hyperactivity and distress, listening to children, listening to your child, low cost counselling exeter, my child bites, my child hits, need to cry, needing to cry, offering closeness, pain body, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, picky eating, reactivity, releasing fear, Ritalin for children, safe space, staylistening, supporting behaviour change, transformative change, trapped energy, trust in the process, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Your baby does NOT need to ‘learn to self-settle’ Jessica Offer

Posted on December 15, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.kidspot.com.au/baby/baby-development/baby-behaviour/your-baby-does-not-need-to-learn-to-self-settle Click on the above link to read this post by Jessica on http://www.kidspot.com.au ‘If you’re questioning the rightness of your desire to pick up your baby when he cries, or lie beside him as he falls to sleep, read … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, autonomy, blaming, boundaries, child development, childhood abuse, civil rights, cognitive, communication, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, encounter, family systems, generational trauma, growing up, guilt, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, organismic experiencing, parenting, perception, person centred, person centred theory, physical being, power, power and powerlessness, pregnancy, presence, relationship, research evidence, resilience, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shaming, sleep, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, attachment theory, authentic relationship, babies are not manipulative, babies’ needs, bad habits in babies, basic human needs, biological dyads, bonding with your baby, brain connectivity, child development, childhood development, childhood needs, co sleeping, coercing children, coercive behaviour, conditioning children, conscious parenting, control and compliance, controlling parental behaviour, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating autonomy, creating independence, cry it out, crying and cortisol levels, crying babies, dominating behaviour, emotional regulation, emotional self regulation, enforced compliance, enforced submission, evolutionary attachment theory, evolutionary biology, feeding overnight, forming attachments, forming identity, forming secure attachments, generational trauma, Henry & Wang, hold your babies, human anthropology, ignoring a baby’s needs, ignoring crying, importance of connection, importance of contact, importance of touch, infant development, innate need, James McKenna, Jessica Offer, John Bowlby, learning to self settle, low cost counselling exeter, manipulative as term of abuse, meeting needs, mother and baby as conjoined unit, mother baby dyad, neocortex development, neocortex in babies, neocortex in toddlers, new parent, night waking as normal, night waking in babies, normal physiological behaviour in babies, paediatric sleep, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting boundaries, person centred counselling exeter, presence, protective mechanisms in infants, regulation of emotional responses, Sarah Ockwell Smith, secure dependence, self regulation, self settle, self soothing, self soothing in babies, settling babies, settling your baby, shaming mothers, shaming parents, sleep experts, sleep trainers, why love matters, www.kidspot.com.au, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘What’s the Cure for Whining?’ Patty Wipfler – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on February 10, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link below for another helpful article from Patty, about how to help your child with their difficult feelings, and get beyond the unhelpfulness of blaming and punishing. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994 … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, blaming, child development, communication, conflict, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, family systems, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, parenting, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, self esteem, shaming, touch, trust, vulnerability | Tagged aloneness, ancestral healing, ancestral pain, asking for help, attention, being loved, belonging, boundaries, catharsis, child behaviour, child’s frame of reference, childhood confidence, childhood distress, childhood needs, children whining, closeness, comforting children, communicating with children, communicating with your child, conflict, connectedness, connection, conscious parenting, contact, difficult feeling, disconnection, emotional climate, emotional outlets, emotional reality, emotional tasks, emotional weather, empathic listening, empathy, encounter, endings, expressing feelings, familial patterns, family patterns, feeling cherished, feeling disconnected, feeling loved, feeling powerless, feeling separate, fixing, frustration, helping children deal with endings, Helplessness, human needs, inner weather, inner well being, interconnection, intimacy, irrational requests, loneliness, manipulation, manipulative behaviour, naughty step, need for contact, parental anger, parental attention, parental availability, parental communication, parental exhaustion, parental resentment, parenting, persistent unhappiness, placating, play therapy, playfulness, powerlessness, presence, punishing, punishing children, punishment, reassurance, reassuring, releasing bad feelings, rescuing, responding not reacting, saying no, saying no to your child, self esteem, sense of connection, separateness, sibling competition, sibling rivalry, somatic expressions of distress, tantrums, time out, trust, uncomfortable feeling, understanding, unhappy mood, venting, well-being, whining, why love matters, zoning out | Leave a comment

An Open Letter of Hope to Parents – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on December 4, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/2015/12/an-open-letter-of-hope-to-parents-around-the-world/ Message of hope for families feeling the pain and fear of some of what is happening in the world. This lovely site is full of helpful resources for parents and adults who want to find new, more helpful ways to relate … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', actualizing tendency, anger, awakening, blaming, child development, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, empowerment, family systems, fear, generational trauma, growing up, Hand in Hand Parenting, healing, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, paradigm shift, parenting, person centred, political, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, self esteem, shadow, sustainability, transformation, trauma, violence, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, belonging, child development, closeness, conditions of worth, connectedness, connection, conscious parenting, conscious relationship, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, family systems, forming self concept, forming self structure, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection, interdependence, intimacy, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, Patty Wipfler, person centred counselling exeter, self concept, self-structure, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Contact Improvisation

Posted on September 2, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The writer does quite a lot of conscious dance (or movement meditation). Contact improvisation is one form with which she is less familiar. As she understands it, the idea is that the dancers remain in more or less constant … Continue reading →

Posted in child development, communication, core conditions, creativity, Dance, dependence, empathy, encounter, flow, interconnection & belonging, love, movement meditation, parenting, person centred, physical being, presence, relationship, touch, trust | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, benefits of movement, benefits of physical contact, benefits of touch, connectedness, connection, conscious dance, conscious parenting, contact improvisation, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dance, embodied process, embodied relationship, embodiment, empathy, encounter, expression in movement, holistic, intimacy, intuition, Itay Yatuv, low cost counselling exeter, movement meditation, non verbal dialogue, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, physical contact, presence, relationship, self expression, TED, Touch, trust, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

When Children Lie – Patty Wipfler – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on August 26, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/when-children-lie/ This is a helpful site, and a helpful article, if you are looking to find effective ways to parent outside the culturally prevalent models of fault, blame and punishment. In the writer’s experience, most parents deeply want what is … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, accountability, anger, blaming, child development, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, family systems, fear, generational trauma, growing up, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, parenting, power and powerlessness, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, teaching, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, anger, blame, boundaries, boundaries in parenting, closeness, coercive parenting, coercive relationship, cold shoulder, competition, competitiveness, conditions of worth, conscious parenting, consequences, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dealing with tantrums, dependence, disapproval, discipline in parenting, disconnection, effect of competition on children, effect of competition on self esteem, emotional safety, emotional truths, empathy, excluding, exclusion, experimentation in parenting, external locus, fear, handling tantrums, hope, humiliating, humiliation, intimacy, judgemental parenting, learning in parenting, love, low cost counselling exeter, lying in children, meeting needs indirectly, motivation, my child lies, need for approval, need for attention, need for love, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Patty Wipfler, perceived threat, person centered parenting, person centred counselling exeter, person centred parenting, person-centered, person-centred, positive attention, power imbalance, punishing, punishment, punishment as control, relational withdrawal, responsibility, safety, saying no, security, self concept, self esteem in children, shame, shaming, social lies, standards of truth, stay listening, staylistening, tantrums, threat, toxic culture, toxic shame, trust, truth telling, understanding, undivided attention, when children lie, withdrawal, www.handinhandparenting.org, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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