Tag Archives: guilt

Spinning Straw – Tracy Cochran

Posted on September 12, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://parabola.org/2017/07/30/spinning-straw-by-tracy-cochran/?utm_content=buffer9bcb5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer Click on the link above to visit the site for Parabola Magazine for this remarkable reworking of the Brothers Grimm. It is not long since we published a piece by Tracy – but the writer stumbled upon this at … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, autonomy, beauty, blaming, boundaries, bullying, cognitive, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, consent, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, fear, feminine, good, gratitude, grief, growth, guilt, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, objectification, perception, power, power and powerlessness, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shadow, surrender, Tracy Cochran, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged abandonment, abuse of power, acceptance by the tribe, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, aloneness, ancestors, armouring, Arthur Rackham, asking the impossible, autonomy, autonomy and acceptance, autonomy and belonging, bargaining, being in the shadows, being invisible, being left, being more, being unable to hold boundaries, betrayal, betraying love, betraying truth, betraying what you love, bitterness, boundaries, Brothers Grimm, causing harm, compassion, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, craving life, cut off from life, dare to be straw, deepest humanity, desecrated, desperation, diminishing ourselves, disconnection, divided, doing more, doing the math, ego mind, embodiment, empathy, emptiness, empty life, entitlement, everyone is special, everything is sacred, everything is special, evolutionary biology, existential emptiness, existential meaning, fairy tales, fear as a driver, fear of death, fear of loss, fear reaction, feeding people, feeling connected, feeling invisible, finding a place, finding balance, finding your reflection in another, folklore, fully alive, good enough, Great Mystery, guilt, having a place, having choice, heartfulness, here and now, holding yourself apart from love, holy work, how to live, humility, identity, inner smallness, internal division, invading boundaries, isolating behaviour, joy of connecting, joy of connection, keeping yourself alone, keeping yourself separate, knowing another, knowing each other, lacking choice, learning how to live, life is more precious than gold, listening without judgment, little rattle stilt, living experience, living fully, locating yourself, losing yourself, loss and grief, low cost counselling exeter, meeting needs indirectly, meeting needs obliquely, metamorphosis, metaphor, mind limitation, mind trap, mirror of another, mirror of love, mortality, myth, nameless, needing others, newborn, no such thing as magic, no-one is special, non possessive love, not good enough, not knowing yourself, not special, nothing is sacred, nothing is special, objectification, objectifying, ordinary and sacred, othering, otherworldly, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, power and powerlessness, power over, present moment, privilege, promises and betrayal, pure love, rage, reflection of love, relationship as transaction, remembering ourselves, resilience, responding and reacting, Rumplestiltskin, sacred love, sacredness, science and magic, science not magic, self acceptance, self armouring, self awareness, self betrayal, self concept, self denigration, self enclosed, self enclosure, self hate, self isolation, self knowledge, self limitation, self love, self rejection, self-structure, sense of sacred, shadow, small self, speaking unwisely, speaking wildly, spinning straw, spinning straw into gold, splitting, story-telling, stuckness, submissiveness, submitting, surrender, survival and acceptance, survival and belonging, telling tales, the first mother, The Heart of Oak Books, the wheel turned, the witness, Tracy Cochran, transformation, transience, trapped in your head, trying to explain, trying to save ourselves, trying to save yourself, turning wheel, unbounded love, unconditional love, using others, value of being alive, value of life, wanting approval, wanting closeness, wanting connection, wanting to be acceptable, wanting to be close, wanting to be known, wanting to be seen, wanting to belong, wanting to feel important, wanting to matter, wanting to please, web of life, what keeps us from love, wholesome work, without consent, without judgment, witnessing consciousness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Pema Chödrön: What to Do When You Lose It Completely

Posted on July 21, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Just under 3 minutes of gold from Pema. What she suggests is a pause, a directing of the attention inwards, rather than into an/another explosion outwards of resentment or aggression. The purpose is an opening and a softening, to self … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', anger, blaming, compassion, conflict, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, forgiveness, guilt, kindness & compassion, love, mindfulness, objectification, Pema Chödrön, perception, presence, resilience, self, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, surrender, violence, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aggression, anger management, armouring, binary, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, conflict resolution, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, de-armoring, de-armouring, dearmoring, dearmouring, disconnecting, embodiment, emotional chain reaction, escalating conflict, escalating rage, feeling your feelings, fire energy, going off on others, guilt, heat of anger, losing it, low cost counselling exeter, managing rage, manifesting reality, meeting fear, meltdown, objectifying, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Pema Chödrön, person centered conflict resolution, person centred counselling exeter, polarisation, polarization, rage, reactivity, reconnecting, relational connection, remorse, repressing emotion, repressing feeling, resentment, responding, responding not reacting, responding to fear, self acceptance, self calming, self compassion, self concept, self criticism, self denigration, self enquiry, self soothing, shadow, Shambhala, shame, shaming, tenderness, unconditional love, violence, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Will I die a Muslim? Raad Rahman for Guernica Magazine

Posted on November 28, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://www.guernicamag.com/daily/raad-rahman-will-i-die-a-muslim/ Powerful, important, topical article, well worth a read. Here’s Raad’s blog:- https://wondersonder.wordpress.com/ And here’s a book link:- http://www.amazon.co.uk/Framed-Butterflies-Novel-Raad-Rahman-ebook/dp/B00MD08DKE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1448707639&sr=8-1&keywords=raad+rahman+framed+butterflies Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994

Posted in 'evil', abuse, anger, blaming, bullying, civil rights, compassion, conflict, consent, cultural questions, Disconnection, diversity, equality, ethics, external locus, fear, grief, growth, guilt, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, non-conforming, objectification, paradigm shift, perception, person centred, political, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, scapegoating, shadow, shame, shaming, spirituality, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, blaming, bullying, condemning, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural diversity, diversity, extremism, Fascism, guilt, harassing, harassment, humiliating, humiliation, institutionalised abuse, institutionalised corruption, institutionalized abuse, institutionalized corruption, Islamist extremism, judging, low cost counselling exeter, MH370, Nazi fascism, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Paris attacks, persecuting behaviour, persecution, person centred counselling exeter, racism, radicalisation, radicalization, random security screenings, response to terrorism, scape goating, scapegoating, shame, shaming, state harassment, terrorism response, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, xenophobia | Leave a comment

Liz Gilbert on Mercy

Posted on November 23, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Timely post from Liz on the high cost of ‘othering’ people, our interdependence and our need for compassion towards ourselves and each other. Here’s her latest book:- http://www.amazon.co.uk/Big-Magic-Creative-Living-Beyond/dp/1408866730/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1448297023&sr=1-1&keywords=elizabeth+gilbert+big+magic And here’s Mary Gauthier, on the same theme:- https://palacegatecounsellingservice.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/mary-gauthier-mercy-now/ Palace Gate Counselling … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, anger, blaming, communication, compassion, conflict, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, emotions, empathy, ethics, fear, forgiveness, good, grief, guilt, human condition, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, objectification, paradigm shift, political, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged action and reaction, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, altruism, anger, Beirut bombs, belonging, Big Magic, Buber, challenge, closed heart, closing borders, closing down, compassion, connectedness, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, Creative Living Beyond Fear, dehumanising, dehumanizing, despair, difficult experience, difficult feeling, disconnecting, disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, empathy, eye for an eye, fear, feeling cornered, feeling threatened, forgiveness, fragmentation, generosity, grief, grieving, guilt, hard heart, human condition, human nature, human needs, humanity, I it relationship, insularity, interconnection, interdependence, Isis, isolation, kindness, lack of humanity, Liz Gilbert, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, Mali attack, mercilessness, mercy, objectification, objectifying, open heart, opening, oppression, othering, overwhelm, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, panic, Paris attack, people as things, person centred counselling exeter, power and powerlessness, presence, rage, reacting and responding, refugee crisis, relationship, revenge, revolution, sacrifice, self compassion, self concept, self hating, self hatred, self-structure, separation, sharing resources, softening, sorrow, suffering, tenderness, threat, uncomfortable experience, uncomfortable feeling, under threat, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

How to prepare emotionally for the death of a difficult parent – Jeff Brown

Posted on November 11, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://soulshaping.com/soulshaping/difficult-parent/ Helpful piece, thanks Jeff. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling Exeter since 1994

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, blaming, body psychotherapy, bodywork, child development, childhood abuse, communication, conditions of worth, conflict, consciousness, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, dying, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, external locus, family systems, fear, forgiveness, generational trauma, grief, growing up, guilt, healing, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Jeff Brown, kindness & compassion, loss, love, parenting, perception, person centred, presence, reality, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, surrender, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged absence, acceptance, acknowledgement, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, An Uncommon Bond, ancestors, ancestral pain, ancestral shame, Apologies to the Divine Feminine, Ascending, authenticity, awakened consciousness, awakening, awakening consciousness, bereavement, blame, blaming, body centered psychotherapy, body psychotherapy, bodywork, carrying it forward, child rearing, child self, childhood beliefs, collective consciousness, collective heart, completion, complex grief, conditioning, conditions of worth, confusion, connectedness, connection, context, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, death of mother, death of parent, developmental stages, dialogue, difficult relationships, disappointment, distorted perception, duty, dying mother, dying parent, embodiment, emotional absence, emotional armour, emotional baggage, emotional debris, emotional paralysis, emotional risk, emotional safety, emotional threat, empowerment, encounter, familial ancestors, familial relationship, family relationship, fantasy, forgiveness, forgiving, gender, generational healing, generational pain, generational trauma, grief, grief process, grief therapy, grieving, grieving difficult relationships, guilt, healing, healing conflict, healing rifts, healthy connection, heartbreak, human condition, human development, human limitations, imprints, incomplete, individuating, individuation, inner narrative, interconnection, interdependence, internalised guilt, internalized guilt, introjections, Jeff Brown, Karmageddon, karmic ancestors, kindness, learning to value ourselves, letting go, life experiences, loss, loss of mother, loss of parent, Love it Forward, loving parenting, loving relationship, low cost counselling exeter, metamorphosis, mystification, narrative, need for fantasy, obligation, overcoming, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, perception, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal beliefs, personal transformation, presence, process work, protective mother, psychotherapy, reality, realness, recognition, reflection work, reflective work, rejection, relational dynamics, relationship, relationship therapy, religious perspective, repressed emotions, resolution, safety, self abuse, self blame, self concept, self distraction, self esteem, self love, self protection, self validation, self worth, self-structure, separation, shame, shame and abuse, shame game, shaming, Soulshaping, Spiritual Graffiti, stagnation, surrender, survivalist conditioning, sustainable transformation, talk therapy, talking therapy, tenderness, therapeutic process, therapeutic work, therapy, things unsaid, threat response, toxic parenting, toxic relationship, transformation, unactualized dreams, unconsciousness, unexpressed anger, unhealed grief, unresolved experiences, unresolved memories, validation, validation from others, vigilance, vulnerability, wanting attention, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Anne Lamott on the challenges (and grace) of being alive

Posted on November 1, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘Love and service are my business’ With humour, grace and gratitude. Thanks, Anne. Helpful reminders. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling Exeter since 1994

Posted in Anne Lamott, beauty, child development, cognitive, communication, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, dying, Eating, education, embodiment, emotions, empathy, encounter, ethics, family systems, fear, friendship, generational trauma, gratitude, grief, growing up, guilt, human condition, humour, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, love, meaning, mindfulness, natural world, organismic experiencing, parenting, perception, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, psychiatric drugs, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self concept, spirituality, teaching, tears, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged addictive behaviour, adverse childhood event, adverse childhood experience, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, aliveness, Anne Lamott, armouring, balance, bereavement, binge drinking, binge eating, bipolar, bullying, childhood trauma, coercive conformity, coercive schooling, compulsive behaviour, conflict, control, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, death, divorce, dying, education and conformity, education and standardisation, empathy, fear, fragmentation, grace, gratitude, grief, growing up, guilt, heartbreak, heartbroken, illness, judgment, judgmental, loneliness, loss, low cost counselling exeter, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, power, powerlessness, presence, psychiatric medication, relationship, relationship break up, self concept, self protection, separation, spirituality, spiritually awake, suffering, terror, toxic relationship, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Gabor Maté on Addiction, change & relationship with someone who is addicted

Posted on October 6, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘To live with an addict of any kind is frustrating, emotionally painful and often infuriating. Family, friends and spouse may feel they are dealing with a double personality: one sane and lovable, the other devious and uncaring. They believe the … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, accountability, actualizing tendency, anger, blaming, communication, compulsive behaviour, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, encounter, ethics, family systems, Gabor Mate, guilt, loss, person centred, power and powerlessness, relationship, research evidence, sadness & pain, self concept, shadow, shaming, transformation | Tagged 7 stages, acceptance, accepting others, acknowledging reality, addict, addiction, adult-to-adult relationships, affordable counselling exeter, anger, attempting to change others, autonomous, autonomy, blame, blaming, brain physiology, broken promises, changing others, choice, coercion, confrontation, consent, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dishonesty, double personality, Edward Deci, emotional withdrawal, family attitudes in addiction, fear, frustration, Gabor Mate, guilt, guilt and resentment, harmful behaviour, hostility, hurtful behaviour, intention, intervention, judgement, leaving an addict, low cost counselling exeter, Maia Szalawitz, manipulating, motivation, motivation and addiction, motivational techniques, not judging, nurture, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, punishing, punishment, rage, Realm of Hungry Ghosts, reforming an addict, rejecting, rejection, relationship with an addict, resenting, resentment, resentment in relationship, responsibility, sabotage in relationship, self abnegation, self concept, self-mastery, self-responsibility, self-sacrifice, self-structure, seven stages, shadow, shame, shaming, soul suicide, taking responsibility for another person's behaviour, tolerating behaviour, tough love, toxic relationship, unconditional acceptance, unreliability, wisdom, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Mia Leijssen on Working with the Inner Critic

Posted on September 16, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Interesting excerpt from Mia’s essay on Focusing, in this excellent book edited by Brian Thorne and Elke Lambers. Mia looks at working with someone who experiences interruptions from the ‘bad parent’/superego voice. She follows this with a brief illustrative case … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, actualizing tendency, anger, blaming, Brian Thorne, childhood abuse, communication, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, emotions, empowerment, external locus, family systems, fear, growth, guilt, healing, internal locus of evaluation, non-directive counselling, organismic experiencing, person centred, person centred theory, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, self, self concept, sexual violence, shame, shaming, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trauma, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, bad parent, blame, blaming, Brian Thorne, childhood sexual abuse, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, CSA, directive therapy, Elke Lambers, Eugene Gendlin, family systems, fear, focusing, Focusing-oriented Psychotherapy, Focusing: Interpersonal and Intrapersonal Conditions of Growth, giving up one's power, giving up personal power, guilt, human needs, humiliation, hurt, inner critic, low cost counselling exeter, meeting needs, Mia Leijssen, non-directive therapy, oppression, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, PCA, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, Person-Centred Therapy: A European Perspective, Self, self concept, self criticism, sexual abuse, sexual violence, shame, super ego, superego, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, trauma, working with clients, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Pema Chödrön on the idea of Karma

Posted on September 15, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“People get into a heavy-duty sin and guilt trip, feeling that if things are going wrong, that means that they did something bad and they are being punished. That’s not the idea at all. The idea of karma is that … Continue reading →

Posted in consciousness, growth, human condition, love, Pema Chödrön, sadness & pain, spirituality, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, Buddhism, consciousness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, de-armouring, growth, guilt, heart opening, human suffering, Karma, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Pema Chödrön, person centred counselling exeter, punishment, self protection, sin, spiritual growth, spirituality, suffering, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The Longing for Belonging – Charles Eisenstein

Posted on August 23, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/charles-eisenstein/indigeneity-and-belonging_b_8011302.html Originally written for our local Schumacher College, in the context of a course Charles was leading. Charles features regularly on this blog – the writer believes him to be one of the important thinkers and writers of our time. … Continue reading →

Posted in awakening, Charles Eisenstein, communication, compassion, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, ecological, education, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, flow, good, gratitude, growth, guilt, human condition, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, meaning, medical model, natural world, non-conforming, objectification, organismic experiencing, paradigm shift, perception, physical being, political, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, relationship, rewilding, self, self concept, spirituality, sustainability, touch, transformation, values & principles | Tagged abundance, achievement, affordable counselling exeter, agency, alienating systems, alienation, aliveness, ancestors, awakening, Becoming Indigenous, belonging, belonging to a place, belongingness, Big Pharma, body as a thing, body as an object, boundaries, capitalism, ceremony, challenge, challenging harm, change, Charles Eisenstein, collective being, coming home, commodity economy, community, competition, competitive, conforming, conformity, connection, consciousness, consumerism, control, controlling, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dependency, dependency on experts, disease model, disembodiment, disorder model, dominating civilization, domination, eco sexual, ecosexual, embedded, embodied experience, embodiment, external locus, feeling of belonging, Finding Our Way Home, flexible boundaries, flow, fluid boundaries, fluidity, generosity, gift culture, gift interactions, giving, globalisation, globalization, gratitude, group energy, group field, guilt, home, home in the world, homecoming, identity, ideology of reductionism, indigeneity, indigenous, indigenous people, indigenous spirituality, industrial food system, initiation, inseparable, intelligence, interbeing, interconnectedness, interconnection, interdependence, internal locus, intimacy, intimate relationship to nature, intuition, kindness, kinship, lost connections, love, low cost counselling exeter, materialism, medical model, modern medicine, money economy, mythology of separation, native spirituality, nature of reality, non sexual touch, non-separation, normalcy, normalisation, normalization, objectification, objectifying, oneness, oppression, organismic experience, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, participation, patriarchal attitudes, patriarchy, person centred counselling exeter, purpose, reality, receiving, reclaiming a sense of belonging, reductionism, relationship, ritual, Schumacher College, Self, sense of belonging, separate self, separation, sexual touch, sexuality, social relationships, spirituality, standardisation, standardization, story, Story of Separation, strangers, theory of change, Touch, tribe, uniqueness, victim, virtual experience, web of life, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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