Tag Archives: self rejection

Spinning Straw – Tracy Cochran

Posted on September 12, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Spinning Straw, by Tracy Cochran Click on the link above to visit the site for Parabola Magazine for this remarkable reworking of the Brothers Grimm. It is not long since we published a piece by Tracy – but the writer … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, autonomy, beauty, blaming, boundaries, bullying, cognitive, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, consent, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, fear, feminine, good, gratitude, grief, growth, guilt, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, objectification, perception, power, power and powerlessness, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shadow, surrender, Tracy Cochran, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged abandonment, abuse of power, acceptance by the tribe, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, aloneness, ancestors, armouring, Arthur Rackham, asking the impossible, autonomy, autonomy and acceptance, autonomy and belonging, bargaining, being in the shadows, being invisible, being left, being more, being unable to hold boundaries, betrayal, betraying love, betraying truth, betraying what you love, bitterness, boundaries, Brothers Grimm, causing harm, compassion, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, craving life, cut off from life, dare to be straw, deepest humanity, desecrated, desperation, diminishing ourselves, disconnection, divided, doing more, doing the math, ego mind, embodiment, empathy, emptiness, empty life, entitlement, everyone is special, everything is sacred, everything is special, evolutionary biology, existential emptiness, existential meaning, fairy tales, fear as a driver, fear of death, fear of loss, fear reaction, feeding people, feeling connected, feeling invisible, finding a place, finding balance, finding your reflection in another, folklore, fully alive, good enough, Great Mystery, guilt, having a place, having choice, heartfulness, here and now, holding yourself apart from love, holy work, how to live, humility, identity, inner smallness, internal division, invading boundaries, isolating behaviour, joy of connecting, joy of connection, keeping yourself alone, keeping yourself separate, knowing another, knowing each other, lacking choice, learning how to live, life is more precious than gold, listening without judgment, little rattle stilt, living experience, living fully, locating yourself, losing yourself, loss and grief, low cost counselling exeter, meeting needs indirectly, meeting needs obliquely, metamorphosis, metaphor, mind limitation, mind trap, mirror of another, mirror of love, mortality, myth, nameless, needing others, newborn, no such thing as magic, no-one is special, non possessive love, not good enough, not knowing yourself, not special, nothing is sacred, nothing is special, objectification, objectifying, ordinary and sacred, othering, otherworldly, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, power and powerlessness, power over, present moment, privilege, promises and betrayal, pure love, rage, reflection of love, relationship as transaction, remembering ourselves, resilience, responding and reacting, Rumplestiltskin, sacred love, sacredness, science and magic, science not magic, self acceptance, self armouring, self awareness, self betrayal, self concept, self denigration, self enclosed, self enclosure, self hate, self isolation, self knowledge, self limitation, self love, self rejection, self-structure, sense of sacred, shadow, small self, speaking unwisely, speaking wildly, spinning straw, spinning straw into gold, splitting, story-telling, stuckness, submissiveness, submitting, surrender, survival and acceptance, survival and belonging, telling tales, the first mother, The Heart of Oak Books, the wheel turned, the witness, Tracy Cochran, transformation, transience, trapped in your head, trying to explain, trying to save ourselves, trying to save yourself, turning wheel, unbounded love, unconditional love, using others, value of being alive, value of life, wanting approval, wanting closeness, wanting connection, wanting to be acceptable, wanting to be close, wanting to be known, wanting to be seen, wanting to belong, wanting to feel important, wanting to matter, wanting to please, web of life, what keeps us from love, wholesome work, without consent, without judgment, witnessing consciousness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘Giving up alcohol opened my eyes to the infuriating truth about why women drink’ Kristi Coulter

Posted on July 4, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://qz.com/762868/giving-up-alcohol-opened-my-eyes-to-the-infuriating-truth-about-why-women-drink/ Click on the above link to visit Quartz Media’s site, for Kristi’s great piece about women, alcohol and our culture. This is from a U.S. perspective – and feels just as relevant here. ‘We can’t afford to live lives … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, advertising, anger, autonomy, awakening, boundaries, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, embodiment, equality, external locus, feminine, Gender & culture, gender identity, guilt, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, mindfulness, non-conforming, objectification, organismic experiencing, perception, physical being, political, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, trust | Tagged acceptance, accepting the unacceptable, addiction, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, altering natural responses, anger as energy, avoiding change, beer yoga, being a woman, being everything, being ignored, being interrupted, being shamed, being underestimated, being undermined, being who you are, belonging, body consciousness, body image, camouflage, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conditioning, conditions of worth, conforming, conformity, conscious living, consciousness, controlling women’s bodies, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural conditioning, cultural disembodiment, cultural pathology, cultural sickness, cultural trauma, dealing with bigotry, dealing with discrimination, dealing with prejudice, disconnecting, disconnecting from emotion, disconnecting from experiencing, disconnecting from feelings, disconnection, disembodied, displacement behaviour, dissociating, doing everything, drink as signifier, drivers, enjoying, enjoyment, equality, escaping reality, experiencing bigotry, experiencing discrimination, experiencing prejudice, facing reality, fairness, faking it, feminine conditioning, feminine role models, feminism, finding enjoyment, finding well being, First World Problems, First World woman, free time, gender oppression, gender privilege, generating well being, intolerable reality, invisibility, it’s not fair, Jiddu Krishnamurti, judginess, judging others, lack of equality, low cost counselling exeter, mansplaining, maternity leave, Matrix, micro aggressions, mindful savoring, mindful savouring, mindfulness, minimising, minimizing, misogyny, need for a drink, needing a drink, no acceptable way to be a woman, no easy way to be a woman, non conforming, non conformity, not knowing, numbing, numbing natural responses, objectification, objectifying, oppression, organismic, overriding yourself, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, patriarchal attitudes, patriarchal oppression, patriarchy, peer pressure, perfection driver, perfectionism, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, Planned Parenthood, purpose of anger, sacred feminine, scarcity of role models, self acceptance, self care, self hatred, self love, self medicating, self rejection, self soothing, self trust, self-loathing, shame, shaming, shaming women, shrinking from reality, sick culture, sick society, sobriety, softening reality, softening the edges, supporting mothers, supporting women, systemic depletion, systemic exhaustion, telling women to smile, toughness, trusting natural responses, trusting who you are, trusting yourself, trying driver, using anger, Vinyasa & Vino, well-being, wetiko, Wetiko Capitalism, wetiko psychosis, Wetikonomy, women drinking, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Dave Mearns on the counsellor’s practice of self-care

Posted on June 23, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Our view at this service is that by far the most important attribute of any therapist (and what we look for when therapists seek to volunteer here) is a strong, consistent commitment to their own self-care, awareness and personal growth. We take … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, accountability, compassion, core conditions, Dave Mearns, Disconnection, embodiment, encounter, ethics, growth, healing, interconnection & belonging, meaning, natural world, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, person centred, person centred theory, physical being, poetry, presence, relationship, resilience, spirituality, surrender, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, values & principles, working with clients | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, appreciation, awareness, cherishing, closed heart, closedness, commitment, compassion, connectedness, connection, core conditions, counselling ethics, counselling exeter, counselling relationship, counselling supervision, counselling training, counsellor attributes, counsellor Exeter, counsellor self care, counsellor’s use of therapy, counsellors Exeter, Dave Mearns, Developing Person Centred Counselling, disconnection, embodiment, encounter, ethic of service, ethical practice, existential meaning, feeling cherished, healing, healing relationship, higher power, human value, ideal self, internal supervisor, lacking compassion, loving disposition towards self, low cost counselling exeter, meaning of life, open heart, openness, openness to love, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person centred counsellor, person centred practice, person centred therapist, person-centred, personal development, personal discipline, personal growth, personal practice, personal therapy, physical being, presence, presence of God, reflective practice, relational depth, relationship as healing agent, relationship with body, relationship with others, release, self acceptance, self attention, self awareness, self care, self compassion, self deprecation, self exploration, self neglect, self nurture, self nurturing, self recrimination, self reflection, self rejection, spiritual practice, spirituality, surrender, therapeutic relationship, therapist attributes, therapist self care, therapist’s use of therapy, therapy training, time structures, transcendental encounter, use of time, way of being, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Person-Centred Basics: Dave Mearns on the power dynamic

Posted on January 24, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Another in our series of person-centred fundamentals, this time Dave Mearns on power. ‘The issue of “power” is fundamental to person-centred counselling. Indeed, the essential principle of the person-centred approach is that the counsellor does not take responsibility for the … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, client as 'expert', communication, conditions of worth, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, Dave Mearns, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, growth, internal locus of evaluation, love, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, perception, person centred, person centred theory, power, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, self concept, shadow, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, working with clients | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, autonomy, beneficence, centre of evaluation, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, Dave Mearns, denial, Developing Person Centred Counselling, directivity in counselling, distortion, equalising in therapy, equality in therapy, equalizing in therapy, external locus, giving power away, internal locus, low cost counselling exeter, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal power, power dynamics in therapy, power in person centered therapy, power in person centred therapy, self acceptance, self concept, self ownership, self rejection, self struture, self-determination, shadow work, taking power, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, therapist attitudes, therapist attributes, therapist awareness, therapist peception, therapist training, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Person-centred basics: expertise of the person-centred counsellor – Dave Mearns & Brian Thorne

Posted on October 22, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The fourth in our occasional series of person-centred fundamentals. ‘The person-centred counsellor must learn to wear her expertise as an invisible garment in order to be an effective counsellor. Experts are expected to dispense their expertise, to recommend what should … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, Brian Thorne, client as 'expert', conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, Dave Mearns, Disconnection, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, internal locus of evaluation, non-directive counselling, person centred, person centred theory, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, self concept, self esteem, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trust, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged acceptance, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, Brian Thorne, building trust in therapy, client as expert, conditions of worth, core conditions, counselling ethics, counselling exeter, counsellor as expert, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, Dave Mearns, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics in therapy, expertise in counselling, expertise in therapy, external locus, low cost counselling exeter, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, Person-centred Counselling in Action, power and powerlessness, power in therapy, presence, self acceptance, self concept, self rejection, self-structure, therapeutic encounter, therapeutic growth, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, therapist as expert, trust in therapy, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Person-centred Basics – Dave Mearns & Brian Thorne on building trust via the core conditions

Posted on September 28, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The second in our occasional series of refreshers in some of the fundamentals of a person-centred approach to therapeutic work. The following examples from Dave and Brian cluster around the central theme of building trust, and which core conditions may … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, Brian Thorne, clients' perspective, communication, conditions of worth, congruence, core conditions, Dave Mearns, Disconnection, diversity, emotions, empathy, encounter, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, love, non-directive counselling, perception, person centred, person centred theory, presence, relationship, self concept, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trust, unconditional positive regard, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged acceptance, accurate empathy, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, aggressive client, aggressiveness, anxiety, authenticity, being deeply understood, beliefs, Brian Thorne, building trust, challenge, client in crisis, client self-disclosure, companionship, conditions of worth, congruence, core conditions, counselling exeter, counselling process, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cynical client, cynicism, Dave Mearns, defensiveness, despair, discipline of therapy, dread, empathic ability, empathic interchange, empathic listening, empathic understanding, empathy, establishing trust, fear, feelings of worthlessness, genuineness, hardened client, helping professions, hope, inauthenticity, learning to wait, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, mechanistic counselling techniques, non defensive, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, panic, patience, patience in therapy, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, Person-centred Counselling in Action, poetry, powerlessness, professional client, psychiatric model, receiving feelings, rejection, relationship, Richard Church, self concept, self disclosure, self rejecting client, self rejection, self-negation, self-structure, shame, suicide, therapeutic growth, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, therapeutic work, trust, trust in counselling, trust in therapy, unconditional positive regard, unconditional regard, unconditionality, understanding, UPR, validating feelings, warmth in therapy, willingness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment