Category Archives: unconditional positive regard

Marion Woodman on Growth

Posted on July 12, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“There is no growth without real feeling. Children not loved for who they are do not learn how to love themselves. Their growth is an exercise in pleasing others, not in expanding through experience. As adults, they must learn to … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, emotions, growing up, growth, love, Marion Woodman, parenting, person centred, presence, relationship, self concept, unconditional positive regard | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, being accepted, Coming Home to Myself, conditional love, conditional regard, conditions of worth, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, deep feeling, experiencing acceptance, feeling emotions, inner child, low cost counselling exeter, Marion Woodman, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, pleasing others, real feeling, receiving nurture, reparenting, seeking approval, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self love, self nurture, self-structure, winning approval, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Marshall Rosenberg on criticism of self/other

Posted on November 1, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, “‘What will they think of me?’ must be put aside for bliss.” … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, blaming, compassion, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, Joseph Campbell, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, objectification, perception, relationship, unconditional positive regard | Tagged acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, blame model, blaming, bliss, compassion, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dehumanising, dehumanizing, derogatory, empathy, ethic of service, expressions of trauma, fault and blame, Joseph Campbell, judging others, low cost counselling exeter, Marshall Rosenberg, opportunities to give, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, punitive, self judgement, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The Biggest Problem in Mental Health Treatment – Monica Cassani

Posted on January 7, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The biggest problem in mental health treatment Click on the above link to visit Monica’s extremely valuable resource base at http://www.beyondmeds.com for this post – which accords with how we make sense of our work at this service:- ‘The biggest problem … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, actualizing tendency, autonomy, client as 'expert', community, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, diversity, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, flow, growth, healing, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, love, medical model, Monica Cassani, non-conforming, non-directive counselling, objectification, Palace Gate Counselling Service, paradigm shift, person centred, political, power and powerlessness, presence, psychiatric abuse, psychiatry, relationship, resilience, self, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, violence, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, authority as violence, autonomy, coercion as violence, coercive mental health treatment, coercive psychiatric treatment, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, diversity, effective support, egalitarian society, expert patient model, external authority, external locus, first do no harm, holding space, internal locus, low cost counselling exeter, medical model, mental health, mental health labeling, mental health labelling, mental health system, mental health treatment, Monica Cassani, never know first never know better, offering support, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal sovereignty, personhood, power in therapy, psychiatric coercion, psychiatric harm, psychiatric labeling, psychiatric labelling, psychiatric model, psychiatric system, psychiatric violence, sacred space, sacredness, safe space, supporting well being, therapeutic relationship, trusting own process, trusting the process, well-being, www.beyondmeds.com, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | 2 Comments

Teacher Chen Miller on connecting with a distressed child

Posted on December 8, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link to visit Facebook, for this remarkable little film about teacher, Chen Miller. A person-centred way of engaging with distress… Chen is bang on about what works – whatever our age may be. The words in which … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, anger, child development, civil rights, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, education, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, growing up, healing, identity, objectification, parenting, perception, person centred, person centred theory, political, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, teaching, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trust, unconditional positive regard, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, acceptance and change, affirmation, affordable counselling exeter, Chen Miller, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, difficult behaviour, disconnection, empathy, empowering children, empowering teaching, empowerment, encounter, injured sense of self, inner voice, internalising, internalizing, introjecting, introjection, labelling, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centered learning, person centred counselling exeter, person centred learning, person-centered, person-centred, personhood, presence, self belief, self concept, self esteem, self perception, self talk, self-structure, sense of identity, sense of self, shaming, Soul Mama, student centered, student centred, unconditional positive regard, UPR, using praise with children, validation, working with aggression, working with difficult behaviour, working with distress, working with special needs, wounded sense of self, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Hello self-loathing, my old friend – Elisabeth Svanholmer

Posted on November 29, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Hello Self-loathing, my old friend… Click on the link above to visit Elisabeth’s website – http://www.livinglifegently.live – to read this post. The writer experiences regular turns of this wheel herself, and so do most of those she works with. Elisabeth’s perspective … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, autonomy, conditions of worth, cultural questions, cultural taboos, emotions, empathy, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, guilt, hearing voices, immanence, internal locus of evaluation, Jung, kindness & compassion, perception, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, violence, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, affirmations, alienation, attachment to beliefs, attempt to reassure, autonomy, awareness, being alongside, being disliked, being judged, belief and sense of purpose, belief systems, better than, body shame, boundaries, cocooning, colluding, community, configurations of self, conflicting beliefs, connection, core belief, cycles of anxiety, cycles of overwhelm, cycles of self loathing, cycles of shame, darker side of being human, death cafes, desire to be hurt, desire to hurt, dialoguing, differing perceptions, differing realities, differing understandings, difficult emotions, discerning, dishonesty, distressing belief, distrust, Elisabeth Svanholmer, emotional withdrawal, emotions, equality, ethical standards, existential meaning, expanding awareness, expressing needs, expression of needs, feeling ashamed of fantasies, feeling ashamed of thoughts, feeling chosen, feeling disconnected, feeling dismissed, feeling frustrated, feeling powerless, feeling special, feeling superior, feeling unacceptable, feeling undeserving, feeling unlovable, feeling unworthy, finding hope, fixing, giving yourself permission, gratitude, hardwired for connection, harshness, harshness to self, hating yourself, having horrible thoughts, hearing multiple voices, hearing voices, hiding from others, hiding from self, higher power, holding beliefs lightly, holding reality lightly, holding space, honouring parts of self, hopefulness, horribleness, human needs, humble, humility, immanence, incongruence, inferiority, intentions, keeping safe, making sense of experience, megalomania, not knowing, numbing, offering reassurance, organising experiences, others’ expectations, pain of self loathing, pep talks, perceptions, pleasing everybody, pleasing people, positive affirmations, protective beliefs, proving yourself, reassuring, recognition, repression, rescuing, secret keeping, seeking approval, seeking reassurance, seeking relief, self care, self compassion, self concept, self containment, self empathy, self hate, self love, self pity, self protection, self talk, self-loathing, self-structure, sense of equality, sense of purpose, shadow, shame, shameful dreams, simplifying beliefs, something wrong with me, spiritual bypass, states of being, staying safe, superiority, suppression, taboos, temporary emotional states, trust, trying to be liked, uncertainty, uncertainty of multiple realities, uncomfortable emotions, unconditional positive regard, unconscious behaviour, unconscious living, unique being, violence, violence to self, Voice Dialogue, withdrawing, witnessing, worthiness, www.livinglifegently.live | Leave a comment

Thomas Merton on love & empathy

Posted on August 23, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“To love another as a person we must begin by granting him his own autonomy and identity as a person. We have to love him for what he is in himself, and not for what he is to us. We … Continue reading →

Posted in Brent Potter, communication, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, encounter, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, love, presence, relationship, self, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, Thomas Merton, transformation, unconditional positive regard | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, altruism, as if quality, authenticity, autonomy, building relationship, building trust, Carl Rogers, closeness, congruence, connectedness, connection, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating intimacy, empathic connection, empathic love, empathic relationship, empathic understanding, encounter, fundamental truths, human givens, identity, importance of relationship, interconnection, intimacy, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personhood, presence, respectfulness, sacred, Self, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, Thomas Merton, transformation, transformative change, transformative relationship, unconditional positive regard, UPR, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Not invading, not abandoning… Donald Winnicott

Posted on June 3, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The writer was talking to a therapist the other day, who offered her a Donald Winnicott thought – for which many thanks. She cannot quote it directly, as she has not yet been able to track it down (any help … Continue reading →

Posted in autonomy, boundaries, congruence, core conditions, Donald Winnicott, empathy, encounter, love, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, person centred, person centred theory, presence, relationship, therapeutic relationship, trust, unconditional positive regard, working with clients | Tagged abandoning your client, abandonment, affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, congruence, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, Donald Winnicott, empathy, fear of abandonment, loving holding, loving presence, low cost counselling exeter, not invading in counselling, not invading in therapy, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, therapeutic holding, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, unconditional positive regard, UPR, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Brian Thorne on belovedness, sexuality & power in therapy

Posted on May 25, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

In the passage before this excerpt, Brian has been talking about the idea of the ‘beloved’, in the context of the writings of Julian of Norwich. How any of us makes sense of ‘beloved’ will depend on personal experiences and conceptual structures/language. It is an … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, actualizing tendency, autonomy, boundaries, Brian Thorne, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, cultural taboos, embodiment, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, healing, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, love, meaning, non-directive counselling, objectification, perception, person centred, person centred theory, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, self, self concept, sexual being, sexual violence, shadow, spirituality, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trust, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, violence, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged abdicating control, abdicating power, abdication of control, abdication of power, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, anxiety in therapist, beloved, Brian Thorne, Carl Rogers, controlling, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, empowering, empowerment in counselling, empowerment in therapy, equalising, equalising in therapy, equalising power, equalizing, equalizing in therapy, equalizing power, existential value, existential worth, inhabiting self, integrating sexuality, lack of personal power, lack of self love, low cost counselling exeter, mutuality, mutuality in counselling, mutuality in therapy, need to control, need to possess, non directive, non possessive love, non-directive therapy, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, power in therapy, power over, power seeking, pursuit of control, responsiveness, sacredness, seeking validation, self concept, self love, self ownership, self-structure, shadow, shadow work, therapeutic alliance, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, therapist attracted to client, therapist sexuality, therapist shadow, unconditional love, unconditional positive regard, unowned shadow, UPR, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Matt Licata on being received as we are

Posted on April 20, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The writer loved the Sigmund Freud quote…. Resonates with how we see therapy at this service, and the person-centred approach. Being received with love, just as we are right now, is such a powerful healing agent….. It seems a tragedy – when Sigmund Freud could … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, communication, compassion, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, fear, grief, growth, healing, human condition, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Jung, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, perception, person centred, presence, relationship, risk, sadness & pain, self, shadow, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trust, unconditional positive regard, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, attunement, awareness, being met, being seen, beloved, compassion, completeness, confusion, connection, contact, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, cure through love, despair, embodied experience, empathic connection, empathy, encounter, energy, enlightenment, expressing needs, field of permission, flatness, Freud, grief, growth, having needs, healing, healing through love, heart opening, hopelessness, human needs, inner world, Jung, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, Matt Licata, need to be heard, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, nervous systems down regulation, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, pathologising, pathologising distress, pathologizing, pathologizing distress, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, presence, psychoanalysis, relational beings, relational matrix, relationship, resolution, responding to anxiety, responding to grief, responding to sadness, risk, secret language, self expression, self perception, softening, somatic, space in relationship, space in therapy, spirituality, suffering, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trust, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, validity of experience, wholeness, witnessing, wounds of the heart, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘In the bleakness of the Calais migrant camp, a light shines out’ Jonathan Freedland

Posted on January 28, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/dec/25/calais-migrant-camp-refugees?CMP=fb_gu The writer has been watching the refugee crisis and the Calais situation with a similar mix of anger, despair and hope. It seems ever more futile to look to elected governments for ethics or humanity or any interest in the … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, civil rights, compassion, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, diversity, empathy, encounter, equality, ethics, good, gratitude, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, non-conforming, person centred, political, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, trauma, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, vulnerability | Tagged abdication of responsibility, abnegation of responsibility, ad hoc aid, affordable counselling exeter, aid agencies, aid to Calais, aid workers, altruism, anger, belonging, bystanding, Calais jungle, Calais refugees, compassion, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, David Kraft, dignity, disaster relief operation, distress, emergency response, empathy, English response to Calais, English response to refugees, ethic of service, Fred Rogers, French response to Calais, French response to refugees, fury, helpers, helping, human decency, Human Rights, human spirit, humanitarian, humanity, ingenuity, inhumanity, injustice, interconnection, interdependence, Jonathan Freedland, Jungle Books, Kevin Mikailian, kindness, L’Auberge des Migrants, look for the helpers, love, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, Médecins Sans Frontières, migrants, Oxfam, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, Philli Boyle, rage, Red Cross, refugee camp, refugee crisis, refugee volunteers, refugees, resilience, resourcefulness, responsibility, Save The Children, self-sacrifice, Syrian refugees, United Nations, upstanding, volunteers in Calais, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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