Tag Archives: understanding

‘What’s the Cure for Whining?’ Patty Wipfler – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on February 10, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link below for another helpful article from Patty, about how to help your child with their difficult feelings, and get beyond the unhelpfulness of blaming and punishing. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994 … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, blaming, child development, communication, conflict, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, family systems, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, parenting, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, self esteem, shaming, touch, trust, vulnerability | Tagged aloneness, ancestral healing, ancestral pain, asking for help, attention, being loved, belonging, boundaries, catharsis, child behaviour, child’s frame of reference, childhood confidence, childhood distress, childhood needs, children whining, closeness, comforting children, communicating with children, communicating with your child, conflict, connectedness, connection, conscious parenting, contact, difficult feeling, disconnection, emotional climate, emotional outlets, emotional reality, emotional tasks, emotional weather, empathic listening, empathy, encounter, endings, expressing feelings, familial patterns, family patterns, feeling cherished, feeling disconnected, feeling loved, feeling powerless, feeling separate, fixing, frustration, helping children deal with endings, Helplessness, human needs, inner weather, inner well being, interconnection, intimacy, irrational requests, loneliness, manipulation, manipulative behaviour, naughty step, need for contact, parental anger, parental attention, parental availability, parental communication, parental exhaustion, parental resentment, parenting, persistent unhappiness, placating, play therapy, playfulness, powerlessness, presence, punishing, punishing children, punishment, reassurance, reassuring, releasing bad feelings, rescuing, responding not reacting, saying no, saying no to your child, self esteem, sense of connection, separateness, sibling competition, sibling rivalry, somatic expressions of distress, tantrums, time out, trust, uncomfortable feeling, understanding, unhappy mood, venting, well-being, whining, why love matters, zoning out | Leave a comment

Rainer Maria Rilke on Solitude

Posted on January 12, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away… and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast. And … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, awakening, communication, compassion, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, Disconnection, diversity, emotions, empathy, empowerment, ethics, forgiveness, growth, immanence, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, love, meaning, perception, presence, relationship, Rilke, sadness & pain, spirituality, transformation, trust, vulnerability | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, aloneness, authentic being, authenticity, awakening, awkening consciousness, belief, belonging, change, connectedness, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, distance in relationship, distress, diversity, empathy, empowerment, ethic of service, ethical compass, ethics, existential meaning, faith, heart space, how to live, individuation, inner peace, interconnection, Letters to a Young Poet, loneliness, love, loving universe, low cost counselling exeter, metamorphosis, need for connection, need for empathy, need for relationship, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, relationship, Rilke, Rilke on solitude, self care, self sufficiency, separation, separation in relationship, social animal, solitude, spirituality, suffering, transformation, transience, trust, understanding, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

David Whyte on Resting

Posted on December 26, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

We have not long posted a David Whyte link – and this feels so seasonally appropriate, and so lovely, that we are indulging ourselves. With hope that – wherever you are, and whatever this time of year has meant and … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, cognitive, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, David Whyte, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, external locus, flow, forgiveness, gratitude, growth, healing, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, meditation, metaphor & dream, mindfulness, movement meditation, natural world, organismic experiencing, perception, person centred, photographs & pictures, physical being, presence, relationship, resilience, self, sleep, surrender, therapeutic growth, trust, vulnerability | Tagged achievement, achieving, affordable counselling exeter, agency, anticipation, anxiety, authentic being, authentic self, being blessed, blessing, body rhythms, breath, breathing, breathing meditation, coming home, Consolations, conversation, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, David Whyte, death and rebirth, deep experience of rest, deep rest, delight, destination, doing and being, dreaming, ego death, ego mind, egoic death, embodied being, embodiment, encounter, endeavour, energy exchange, enjoyment, exhaustion of the will, existential meaning, finding stillness, fretting, fulfilment, full well, generosity, giving and receiving, giving and taking, giving up, healing, homecoming, image, imagination, imaginative, in breath and out breathing, inner and outer, intellectual, interior world, inward experience, inward world, joy, living exchange, love, low cost counselling exeter, making real in the world; letting alone, manifestation, manifesting, meanings of winter, meeting, metaphor, motivation, movement, natural exchange, natural rhythms, need to achieve, nourishment, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, perspective, possibilities, possibility, potential, potentiality, presence, readiness, receiving, reconnection, relationship, relaxation, remembering, renewal, replenishment, responding, response, rest, rest in motion, rest in movement, restfulness, resting, reward, saving the world, Self, self care, self compassion, self forgiveness, setting goals, Solace Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words, spontaneity, spontaneous, stillness, striving, surrender, surrendering, understanding, visioning, well-being, will, winter solstice, worrying, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yang energy, yin energy | Leave a comment

The Ecology of Language – Abbie Simmonds

Posted on November 18, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://dark-mountain.net/blog/the-ecology-of-language/ Fascinating piece by Abbie, about the ways in which language holds and shapes (or can limit/reduce) meaning, personally, collectively, spiritually – and has the power to connect us with our embodied experiencing and with the land. She quotes Wade Davis:- … Continue reading →

Posted in awakening, beauty, cognitive, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, congruence, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, ecological, ecological issues, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, ethics, external locus, family systems, flow, gratitude, grief, growing up, growth, healing, human condition, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, mindfulness, natural world, objectification, organismic experiencing, perception, physical being, poetry, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, spirituality, surrender, sustainability, transformation, trust, vulnerability, wonder | Tagged Abbie Simmonds, abundance, abuse, affordable counselling exeter, aggression, alchemy, alchemy of poetry, alienation, anger, attachment, bereavement, birth, Buddhism, Buddhist spirituality, change, commodification, communication, communication tools, conditions of worth, confusion, connection to the environment, connection with earth, connection with land, consumerism, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, cultural history, Dark Mountain, dehumanising, dehumanizing, ecology of language, ecosystem, emotional attachment, empathy, encounter, existential meaning, exploitation, expressing experience, external experience, extreme emotional states, extreme experience, familial history, family history, folklore, forest of the mind, fragmentation, frustration, Gaia, Gilbert Highet, grace, gratitude, grief, grieving, growth, human spirit, I create as I speak, impoverishment of language, In the beginning was the word, internal experience, labeling, labelling, language and history, language and meaning, language and reality, language as a dynamic force, language as alive, language of soul, lexicon of the natural world, living language, logos, longing, loss, love, loving the land, low cost counselling exeter, manipulation by advertising, Martin Shaw, metamorphosis, monoculture language, mortality, mythology, naming experience, narrative, objectifying, over simplification, pain of loss, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, personal history, personal meaning, plant medicine, poetry, power of language, presence, psychiatric, psychiatric labelling, rage, reality, reality perception, relationship ending, replenishment, right speech, Robert Macfarlane, scapegoating, School of Myth, secret names, Self, self concept, self expression, separation, shamanic mythology, spirituality, story, surrender, symbolising, symbolizing, transformation, transience, tribal history, understanding, Wade Davis, word hoard, word wood, words and history, words and meaning, words and power, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yearning | Leave a comment

Everything Doesn’t Happen For A Reason – Tim Lawrence

Posted on November 10, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2015/10/19/everything-doesnt-happen-for-a-reason#st_refDomain=www.facebook.com&st_refQuery=/ Immensely useful piece on the importance of grieving, and the unhelpful violence of platitudes and imposed ‘positivity’. As Tim says, we have a deeply harmful cultural inability to speak the language of grief or offer what is most needed – loving … Continue reading →

Posted in communication, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, dying, empathy, encounter, friendship, grief, healing, human condition, interconnection & belonging, loneliness, loss, love, non-conforming, presence, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, tears, transformation, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged absence, accompanying, acknowledging experience, acknowledging pain, adversity, affordable counselling exeter, being with difficult feeling, being with grief, being with uncomfortable feeling, bereavement, betrayal, brokenness, brutality, carrying pain, consequences of loss, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural attitudes to grieving, cultural attitudes to loss, death, dehumanising, dehumanizing, delusional narrative, depersonalisation, depersonalization, despair, devastation, distress, dying, emotional violence, empathy, everything happens for a reason, evolution, fallacy, fantasy, fragility, freedom, grief, grieving, growth, healing, heartbreak, hiding, hopes, hubris, human experience, loss, loss and growth, loss of dreams, lost dreams, lost opportunities, love, low cost counselling exeter, making change, Megan Devine, necessity of grief, need to grieve, non-conforming, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal development, personal responsibility, platitudes, positivity, post traumatic growth, presence, psychological violence, relationship, relationship break up, resilience, responsibility, sanctimony, self concept, self hatred, self help, self reliance, self-sabotage, self-structure, separation, shadow, shame, spiritual violence, suffering, survival, survivor’s guilt, taking responsibility, The Adversity Within, Tim Lawrence, tragedy, transformation, trauma, turning away, understanding, vulnerability, willingness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Person-centred Basics – Dave Mearns & Brian Thorne on building trust via the core conditions

Posted on September 28, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The second in our occasional series of refreshers in some of the fundamentals of a person-centred approach to therapeutic work. The following examples from Dave and Brian cluster around the central theme of building trust, and which core conditions may … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, Brian Thorne, clients' perspective, communication, conditions of worth, congruence, core conditions, Dave Mearns, Disconnection, diversity, emotions, empathy, encounter, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, love, non-directive counselling, perception, person centred, person centred theory, presence, relationship, self concept, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trust, unconditional positive regard, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged acceptance, accurate empathy, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, aggressive client, aggressiveness, anxiety, authenticity, being deeply understood, beliefs, Brian Thorne, building trust, challenge, client in crisis, client self-disclosure, companionship, conditions of worth, congruence, core conditions, counselling exeter, counselling process, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cynical client, cynicism, Dave Mearns, defensiveness, despair, discipline of therapy, dread, empathic ability, empathic interchange, empathic listening, empathic understanding, empathy, establishing trust, fear, feelings of worthlessness, genuineness, hardened client, helping professions, hope, inauthenticity, learning to wait, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, mechanistic counselling techniques, non defensive, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, panic, patience, patience in therapy, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, Person-centred Counselling in Action, poetry, powerlessness, professional client, psychiatric model, receiving feelings, rejection, relationship, Richard Church, self concept, self disclosure, self rejecting client, self rejection, self-negation, self-structure, shame, suicide, therapeutic growth, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, therapeutic work, trust, trust in counselling, trust in therapy, unconditional positive regard, unconditional regard, unconditionality, understanding, UPR, validating feelings, warmth in therapy, willingness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

When Children Lie – Patty Wipfler – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on August 26, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/when-children-lie/ This is a helpful site, and a helpful article, if you are looking to find effective ways to parent outside the culturally prevalent models of fault, blame and punishment. In the writer’s experience, most parents deeply want what is … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, accountability, anger, blaming, child development, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, family systems, fear, generational trauma, growing up, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, parenting, power and powerlessness, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, teaching, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, anger, blame, boundaries, boundaries in parenting, closeness, coercive parenting, coercive relationship, cold shoulder, competition, competitiveness, conditions of worth, conscious parenting, consequences, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dealing with tantrums, dependence, disapproval, discipline in parenting, disconnection, effect of competition on children, effect of competition on self esteem, emotional safety, emotional truths, empathy, excluding, exclusion, experimentation in parenting, external locus, fear, handling tantrums, hope, humiliating, humiliation, intimacy, judgemental parenting, learning in parenting, love, low cost counselling exeter, lying in children, meeting needs indirectly, motivation, my child lies, need for approval, need for attention, need for love, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Patty Wipfler, perceived threat, person centered parenting, person centred counselling exeter, person centred parenting, person-centered, person-centred, positive attention, power imbalance, punishing, punishment, punishment as control, relational withdrawal, responsibility, safety, saying no, security, self concept, self esteem in children, shame, shaming, social lies, standards of truth, stay listening, staylistening, tantrums, threat, toxic culture, toxic shame, trust, truth telling, understanding, undivided attention, when children lie, withdrawal, www.handinhandparenting.org, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

John Bradshaw on Community (with some thoughts on person-centred supervision)

Posted on August 14, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘Community is a synthesis between mutuality and individuality. The truer the community, the more solid the individuals within it. To put it another way, people best achieve individuality in a true community and they create a true community only when … Continue reading →

Posted in blaming, communication, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, empowerment, encounter, equality, external locus, fear, growth, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, loneliness, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, paradigm shift, perception, person centred, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, scapegoating, self, self concept, shame, shaming, spirituality, supervision | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aloneness, authentic relationship, authenticity, authority, belonging, change, choice, collectivity, community, community as a living organism, community consciousness, congruence, connection, contact, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, Creating Love, demystification, dialogue, enmeshed relationship, establishing an identity, fantasy-bonded self-to-self trance, fear, feedback, growth, healthy separation, identity, individuality, individuation, infantile security, insecurity, insight, interconnectedness, interconnection, interdependence, interpersonal, John Bradshaw, loneliness, low cost counselling exeter, making mistakes, monologue, mutuality, mystification, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centered supervision, person centred counselling exeter, person-centred supervision, personal development, presence, religious communities, security, selfhood, separation, shame, soulful community, soulful relationship, subjective experience, supervision, toxic shame, understanding, will, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Thích Nhất Hạnh on blaming, reasoning & the core conditions

Posted on July 19, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, blaming, Carl Rogers, conflict, core conditions, empathy, growth, healing, kindness & compassion, love, person centred, relationship, Thích Nhất Hạnh | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, blaming, Carl Rogers, Carl Rogers' potatoes, conflict, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, relationship, Thích Nhất Hạnh, understanding, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

A rabbit noticed my condition – St John of the Cross

Posted on April 8, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The writer’s rabbit today was a kind person, who read her this….. ‘I was sad one day and went for a walk; I sat in a field. A rabbit noticed my condition and came near. It often does not take … Continue reading →

Posted in beauty, communication, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, emotions, empathy, encounter, healing, human condition, interconnection & belonging, love, meaning, natural world, person centred, poetry, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, spirituality, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, belonging, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, earth mother, empathy, encounter, Gaia, healing, interconnectedness, interconnection, love, Love Poems from God, low cost counselling exeter, natural world, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, presence, relationship, St John of the Cross, therapeutic relationship, trust, understanding, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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