Tag Archives: betrayal

Spinning Straw – Tracy Cochran

Posted on September 12, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://parabola.org/2017/07/30/spinning-straw-by-tracy-cochran/?utm_content=buffer9bcb5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer Click on the link above to visit the site for Parabola Magazine for this remarkable reworking of the Brothers Grimm. It is not long since we published a piece by Tracy – but the writer stumbled upon this at … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, autonomy, beauty, blaming, boundaries, bullying, cognitive, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, consent, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, fear, feminine, good, gratitude, grief, growth, guilt, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, objectification, perception, power, power and powerlessness, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shadow, surrender, Tracy Cochran, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged abandonment, abuse of power, acceptance by the tribe, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, aloneness, ancestors, armouring, Arthur Rackham, asking the impossible, autonomy, autonomy and acceptance, autonomy and belonging, bargaining, being in the shadows, being invisible, being left, being more, being unable to hold boundaries, betrayal, betraying love, betraying truth, betraying what you love, bitterness, boundaries, Brothers Grimm, causing harm, compassion, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, craving life, cut off from life, dare to be straw, deepest humanity, desecrated, desperation, diminishing ourselves, disconnection, divided, doing more, doing the math, ego mind, embodiment, empathy, emptiness, empty life, entitlement, everyone is special, everything is sacred, everything is special, evolutionary biology, existential emptiness, existential meaning, fairy tales, fear as a driver, fear of death, fear of loss, fear reaction, feeding people, feeling connected, feeling invisible, finding a place, finding balance, finding your reflection in another, folklore, fully alive, good enough, Great Mystery, guilt, having a place, having choice, heartfulness, here and now, holding yourself apart from love, holy work, how to live, humility, identity, inner smallness, internal division, invading boundaries, isolating behaviour, joy of connecting, joy of connection, keeping yourself alone, keeping yourself separate, knowing another, knowing each other, lacking choice, learning how to live, life is more precious than gold, listening without judgment, little rattle stilt, living experience, living fully, locating yourself, losing yourself, loss and grief, low cost counselling exeter, meeting needs indirectly, meeting needs obliquely, metamorphosis, metaphor, mind limitation, mind trap, mirror of another, mirror of love, mortality, myth, nameless, needing others, newborn, no such thing as magic, no-one is special, non possessive love, not good enough, not knowing yourself, not special, nothing is sacred, nothing is special, objectification, objectifying, ordinary and sacred, othering, otherworldly, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, power and powerlessness, power over, present moment, privilege, promises and betrayal, pure love, rage, reflection of love, relationship as transaction, remembering ourselves, resilience, responding and reacting, Rumplestiltskin, sacred love, sacredness, science and magic, science not magic, self acceptance, self armouring, self awareness, self betrayal, self concept, self denigration, self enclosed, self enclosure, self hate, self isolation, self knowledge, self limitation, self love, self rejection, self-structure, sense of sacred, shadow, small self, speaking unwisely, speaking wildly, spinning straw, spinning straw into gold, splitting, story-telling, stuckness, submissiveness, submitting, surrender, survival and acceptance, survival and belonging, telling tales, the first mother, The Heart of Oak Books, the wheel turned, the witness, Tracy Cochran, transformation, transience, trapped in your head, trying to explain, trying to save ourselves, trying to save yourself, turning wheel, unbounded love, unconditional love, using others, value of being alive, value of life, wanting approval, wanting closeness, wanting connection, wanting to be acceptable, wanting to be close, wanting to be known, wanting to be seen, wanting to belong, wanting to feel important, wanting to matter, wanting to please, web of life, what keeps us from love, wholesome work, without consent, without judgment, witnessing consciousness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Oriah Mountain Dreamer – The Invitation

Posted on September 1, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, awakening, beauty, compassion, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, Dance, embodiment, emotions, empathy, encounter, fear, flow, friendship, gratitude, grief, human condition, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, mindfulness, natural world, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, perception, poetry, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, relationship, resilience, risk, sadness & pain, self, self concept, surrender, transformation, vulnerability, wonder | Tagged adventure of being alive, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, authenticity, avoiding pain, beauty and prettiness, being seen, being true to self, betrayal, closing your heart, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, ecstasy, ecstatic dance, encounter, existential meaning, experiencing pain, feeling alive, fully alive, going through the fire, grace, grief and loss, grief process, grieving process, heart's longing, holding space, intimacy, Invitation, letting ourselves be seen, living your truth, low cost counselling exeter, meeting adversity, needing to hide, not fixing, not rescuing, not solving, opening and closing, opening emotionally, opening your heart, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, presence, realness, resilience, resourcing yourself, self protection, self resourcing, sense of limitation, sense of possibility, sitting with pain, speaking your truth, standing in the fire, true to self, trying to avoid pain, wildness, willingness to be seen, willingness to take risks, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘The Poet and the Shepherd’ by Joshua Boettiger

Posted on February 10, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://parabola.org/2017/01/31/the-poet-and-the-shepherd-by-joshua-boettiger/ Click on the link to visit Parabola Magazine for this astonishing article by Joshua Boettiger:- ‘We could say the search for meaning – which is a holy search – becomes imperiled whenever the poet-self and the shepherd-self are out … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, accountability, awakening, beauty, community, compassion, consciousness, creativity, Disconnection, embodiment, empathy, encounter, ethics, gratitude, grief, immanence, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, Leonard Cohen, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, music, organismic experiencing, perception, person centred, physical being, poetry, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, Rilke, sadness & pain, self, shadow, spirituality, surrender, transformation, trust, vulnerability | Tagged abdicating responsibility, actualising, actualization, actualizing, Adyashanti, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, anxiety and fear, art of caretaking, awareness, awareness of responsibility, beauty and ruin, beauty and terror, becoming chosen, being of service, Beloved without horizon, betrayal, Book of Hours, bracha, brokenness, brother’s keeper, capacity for gratitude, capacity to praise, caretaking, causing harm, collective shadow, collective source, collective voice, commitment, community, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, demanding engagement, desire to run from the shadow, devotion, disconnection, discovery of self for its own sake, dynamic nature of things, ecstatic dancing, ecstatic love, embodiment, Emily Dickinson, Emmanuel Levinas, emotional register, empathy, ethic of service, existential meaning, expanding awareness, fatal flaw, fundamental insecurity, gratitude, gratitude practice, grief and remorse, grief and suffering, holiness, holy path, holy search, human experience, human imperfection, human insecurity, ideologues, imbalance, impossibility of fixing, inner story, integrating the poet and shepherd, intention and commitment, intimacy, intimate relationship with God, intimate relationship with self, Jewish view of redemption, Jorge Luis Borges, Joshua Boettiger, Kathleen Norris, Keep going, King David, learning to love, Leon Wieseltier, Leonard Cohen, living into responsibility, longing for revenge, longing for union, longing to love, loving others, low cost counselling exeter, messianic consciousness, multiplicity of truths, My Friend Leonard Cohen: Darkness and Praise, my one companion is darkness, next Buddha is the sangha, No feeling is final, organismic, othering, pain is missed in praise, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Parabola Magazine, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal and intimate, personal shadow, pleas for rescue, poet archetype, poet self, practice of supplication, praise, praise as a cry of life, prayer, presence, process of becoming, recovering the capacity to praise, redemption, resonance, responsibility for others, responsibility to others, Rilke, Robert Pinsky, search for meaning, secret chord, self absorption, self expression, self serving, sense of futility, sensitivity to others’ pain, servant of God, serving others, shadow work, shared experience, sharing the burden, shepherd and poet, shepherd archetype, shepherd collective, shepherd self, shepherd’s calling, singing to source, soul weave, speaking truth, spiritual imbalance, spiritual practice, spirituality, talking to God, The Cloister Walk, transformative, true service, universal human feeling, whole being experience, whole self, wisdom of the shadow, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The Lid is Off – Charles Eisenstein

Posted on October 14, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The Lid is Off Click on the link above for this perceptive, important piece by Charles Eisenstein on www/charleseisenstein.net And here are some book links:- https://www.amazon.co.uk/Beautiful-Hearts-Possible-Sacred-Activism/dp/1583947248/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476434506&sr=8-1&keywords=charles+eisenstein https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sacred-Economics-Money-Society-Transition/dp/1583943978/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1476434506&sr=8-2&keywords=charles+Eisenstein https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ascent-Humanity-Civilization-Human-Sense/dp/1583946365/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1476434506&sr=8-3&keywords=charles+eisenstein Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994

Posted in 'evil', abuse, accountability, bullying, Charles Eisenstein, congruence, consciousness, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, ecological issues, ethics, natural world, objectification, paradigm shift, perception, political, power and powerlessness, reality, self concept, shadow, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, alienation, alter ego, appearance of democracy, archetypes, ascent of humanity, awareness, betrayal, breakdown of normalcy, Charles Eisenstein, clearcuts, clearing shadow, coercion, cognitive dissonance, collective shadow, community, compliance and control, confusion, consciousness, controlling information, corruption, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural contradictions, cultural injustice, cultural shadow, cultural shadow archetype, cynicism, damage to reputation, denial and rage, disintegration, dispossession of land, divided self, Donald Trump recordings, drone strikes, ecocide, economic populism, effect of the internet, established power, exercise of political power, exploitation, exposing the unconscious, financial domination, fragmentation, game of thrones, genocide, genocide of indigenous cultures, hidden contradictions, hidden resentment, hiding, Hillary Clinton emails, hypocrisy, ideas of normal, ideology, ideology of development, ideology of growth, illuminating contradictions, injury and injustice, injustice of legal system, inner transparency, insincerity, institutional racism, integrity, internal contradictions, interpersonal, keeping secrets, lack of imagination, law enforcement, liberation from the old story, locker room talk, loss of bearings, loss of orientation, low cost counselling exeter, maintaining secrecy, maintenance of illusions, misogyny, More Beautiful World, More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible, narrative of exploration, narrative of growth, narrative of progress, normalcy, normalized corruption, normalizing, objectification, objectifying, oligarchy, oligopoly, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, partnership, person centred counselling exeter, personal and collective fractals, personal shadow, police abuse, police brutality, police bullying, police racism, political corruption, political unconscious, possibility of healing, power and powerlessness, preserving illusions, preserving the status quo, pretence, pretence of democracy, privacy, propriety, prosecuting whistle-blowers, public image, public reputation, racism, rape culture, refugee camps, repressed desire, reputational damage, sacred economics, sanitized public presentation, sanitizing, self concept, self deception, self examination, self help, self-structure, sense of betrayal, separation, serve and protect, serving and protecting, sexual domination, shadow, shadow archetype, shadow zone, social acceptability, social evolution, social injustice, spirituality, splitting, story and actuality, strip mines, suppressed shadow, technocracy, Third World sweatshops, threats and coercion, transparency, transparency in relationship, trend toward transparency, triumphal narrative, unconscious conflict, wall of separation, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Never Read the Comments – Liz Gilbert

Posted on June 2, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

” This feels personally relevant to the writer, who has her own experience of group attack, including via the internet, and (some) people’s willingness to make sweeping and vicious statements about other human beings they have never met, based on one … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, anger, autonomy, blaming, boundaries, bullying, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, empowerment, external locus, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, objectification, perception, political, power and powerlessness, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shaming, trauma, violence, vulnerability | Tagged abandoning self, abuse, acknowledgement, acknowledging, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, anticipation, anxiety, armouring, authenticity, awfulising, awfulizing, being of service, being seen, belonging, betrayal, blame and shame model, Brené Brown, Buber, Buber I It, bullying, bystander apathy, caring what others think, catastrophising, catastrophizing, civil rights, clarity of values, closing down, closing your heart, communication, comparing self with others, comparison with others, compassion, conditions of worth, connectedness, connection, consent, consent to publication, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creativity, critics don't count, cruelty, culture of humiliation, cyber-bullying, de-armouring, dealing with criticism, dealing with haters, dealing with uncertainty, disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embarrassment, empathy, ethic of service, ethics, exposure, facing judgement, fear, fear of humiliation, fear of unknown, feedback, freedom of expression, gainsayers, grief, grieving, handling criticism, handling uncertainty, harassment, Human Rights, humiliation, ideal self, innovation, inspiration, interconnectedness, interdependence, internet bullying, judgement, judgemental attitudes, Liz Gilbert, loneliness, loss, love and service, loving presence, low cost counselling exeter, meanness, minority influence, Monica Lewinsky, mortification, objectification, online bullying, online harassment, opening your heart, originality, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, personal history, personal shifts, presence, public humiliation, public shaming, publication without consent, realness, receiving feedback, recontextualising experience, recontextualizing experience, resilience, scarcity mindset, Self, self abandonment, self armouring, self blame, self concept, self critical, self criticism, self discipline, self doubt, self esteem, self judgement, self protection, self worth, self-structure, service, service of the work, shame, shaming, showing up, shutting down, snapchat, spiritual discipline, staying open, suicide, sweaty creative, TED, the man in the arena, the unknown, Theodore Roosevelt, transformation, trauma, trolling, trust, unkindness, upstander, upstanding, value system, valuing yourself, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Monica Lewinsky with Jon Ronson

Posted on April 26, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/apr/16/monica-lewinsky-shame-sticks-like-tar-jon-ronson Click on the link above for today’s post – Monica Lewinsky in a recent interview with Jon Ronson in The Guardian, well worth a read. In 2015, we published a link to, and a piece on, Monica’s wonderful TED talk ‘The … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, blaming, bullying, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, empowerment, ethics, fear, Gender & culture, grief, healing, identity, interconnection & belonging, loneliness, loss, Monica Lewinsky, objectification, perception, political, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, sexual being, shadow, shame, shaming, suicide, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged abuse, acquiring a sense of self, affordable counselling exeter, anti-bullying advocacy, anti-bullying emojis, anti-bullying gifs, betrayal, bigotry, blame and shame model, bullying, bystander apathy, Bystander Revolution, bystanding, civil rights, communication, compassion, competing narrative, conditions of worth, consent, core pain, core trauma, core wound, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cruelty, culture of humiliation, cure for shame, cyber-bullying, de-objectifying, dehumanising, dehumanizing, deobjectifying, developing a sense of self, disconnection, effects of shock, embarrassment, empathy, ethics, exclusion, exposure, fear, fear of ostracisation, feminism, grief, harassment, Human Rights, humiliation, identity, integrating trauma, internet bullying, internet shaming, Jon Ronson, judgement, legitimising bullying, legitimizing bullying, Lindsey Stone, loneliness, loss, low cost counselling exeter, Mike Daisey, misogyny, Monica In Black And White, Monica Lewinsky, mortification, mutual relationship, object of hate, objectification, online bullying, online harassment, ostracisation, ostracising, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, projecting, public humiliation, public shaming, racism, recontextualising experience, recontextualizing experience, resilience, Self, self concept, self esteem, sense of self, shame, Shame and Survival, shaming, shock, shock behaviours, suicide, targeting difference, TED, threat to identity, threatened identity, transformation, trauma, trolling, upstander, upstanding, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Everything Doesn’t Happen For A Reason – Tim Lawrence

Posted on November 10, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2015/10/19/everything-doesnt-happen-for-a-reason#st_refDomain=www.facebook.com&st_refQuery=/ Immensely useful piece on the importance of grieving, and the unhelpful violence of platitudes and imposed ‘positivity’. As Tim says, we have a deeply harmful cultural inability to speak the language of grief or offer what is most needed – loving … Continue reading →

Posted in communication, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, dying, empathy, encounter, friendship, grief, healing, human condition, interconnection & belonging, loneliness, loss, love, non-conforming, presence, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, tears, transformation, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged absence, accompanying, acknowledging experience, acknowledging pain, adversity, affordable counselling exeter, being with difficult feeling, being with grief, being with uncomfortable feeling, bereavement, betrayal, brokenness, brutality, carrying pain, consequences of loss, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural attitudes to grieving, cultural attitudes to loss, death, dehumanising, dehumanizing, delusional narrative, depersonalisation, depersonalization, despair, devastation, distress, dying, emotional violence, empathy, everything happens for a reason, evolution, fallacy, fantasy, fragility, freedom, grief, grieving, growth, healing, heartbreak, hiding, hopes, hubris, human experience, loss, loss and growth, loss of dreams, lost dreams, lost opportunities, love, low cost counselling exeter, making change, Megan Devine, necessity of grief, need to grieve, non-conforming, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal development, personal responsibility, platitudes, positivity, post traumatic growth, presence, psychological violence, relationship, relationship break up, resilience, responsibility, sanctimony, self concept, self hatred, self help, self reliance, self-sabotage, self-structure, separation, shadow, shame, spiritual violence, suffering, survival, survivor’s guilt, taking responsibility, The Adversity Within, Tim Lawrence, tragedy, transformation, trauma, turning away, understanding, vulnerability, willingness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Brené Brown on Cultivating Love

Posted on April 11, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, Brene Brown, core conditions, emotions, empathy, encounter, friendship, growth, immanence, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, shame, spirituality, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, belonging, betrayal, blame, blame model, Brené Brown, compassion, connection, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, disrespect, empathy, fault and blame, growth, interconnectedness, interconnection, kindness, love, loving connection, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, relationship, self care, self love, self nurture, shame, spirituality, The Gifts of Imperfection, trust, vulnerability, withdrawal from relationship, withholding, withholding affection, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Monica Lewinsky – The Price of Shame

Posted on March 30, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

This is wonderful. Thank you to Sarah Birdsall on Facebook for drawing it to our attention. Deeply thought-provoking, intelligent, heartfelt and moving – an inspiring example of someone who has taken their own horrible experience and transmuted it with courage … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, bullying, civil rights, communication, conditions of worth, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, ethics, fear, grief, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, Monica Lewinsky, perception, political, power and powerlessness, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, suicide, TED, transformation, trauma | Tagged abuse, affordable counselling exeter, betrayal, blame and shame model, Brené Brown, Buber, Buber I It, bullying, bystander apathy, civil rights, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, consent, consent to publication, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cruelty, culture of humiliation, cyber-bullying, disconnection, embarrassment, empathy, ethic of service, ethics, exposure, fear, freedom of expression, grief, harassment, Human Rights, humiliation, internet bullying, Jennifer Lawrence, judgement, loneliness, loss, low cost counselling exeter, minority influence, Monica Lewinsky, mortification, Nicolaus Mills, objectification, online bullying, online harassment, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, public humiliation, public shaming, publication without consent, recontextualising experience, recontextualizing experience, resilience, Self, self concept, self esteem, Serge Moscovici, shame, shaming, snapchat, Sony cyber-hacking, suicide, TED, transformation, trauma, trolling, Tyler Clementi, upstander, upstanding, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | 3 Comments

Trust & the bravery of naïveté – Toko-pa

Posted on November 12, 2014 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://toko-pa.com/2014/11/11/trust-the-bravery-of-naivete/ Click on the link for this lovely post by Toko-pa, and powerful picture by Maia Flore. The writer especially resonated with:- ‘….if our trust is broken we must remember that it says more about the other, who doesn’t yet … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', acceptance, awakening, conflict, consciousness, core conditions, emotions, fear, grief, healing, human condition, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loss, love, perception, relationship, sadness & pain, Toko-pa, trust, vulnerability | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, ambiguity, becoming, belonging, betrayal, consciousness, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cynicism, death, grief, heartbreak, human condition, inspiration, loss, low cost counselling exeter, naïveté, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradox, person centred counselling exeter, relationship, Toko-pa, trust, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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