Tag Archives: boundaries

Jeff Foster on Sadness and anger

Posted on September 10, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Some extraordinarily important words from Jeff about our relationship with emotions perceived as ‘difficult’ and the judgments these attract…. We are often struck by how common those judgments are, even among the ‘spiritual’ and even among therapists – as if … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, anger, boundaries, congruence, Disconnection, emotions, human condition, Jeff Foster, loss, love, meaning, perception, power, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shaming, spirituality, surrender, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, acceptance of emotions, acceptance of feelings, affordable counselling exeter, anger and boundaries, anger and power, authenticity, boundaries, coming home to ourselves, congruence, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, difficult emotions, ego mind, impermanence, Jeff Foster, letting go, love and impermanence, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, purpose of anger, purpose of sadness, remembering ourselves, sacredness, sadness and being open, self protection, separate self, shame and difficult feeling, speaking truth, speaking your truth, transience, use of anger, use of sadness, wholeness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Nayyirah Waheed on loving ourselves

Posted on May 13, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“If someone does not want me, it is not the end of the world. But if I do not want me, the world is nothing but endings.” Nayyirah Waheed Yes, yes, yes. The core of therapy is about coming home … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, cultural questions, Disconnection, identity, interconnection & belonging, love, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, boundaries, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, identity, low cost counselling exeter, Nayyirah Waheed, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, self abandonment, self care, self image, self love, self respect, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Rupi Kaur on confusing anger and kindness

Posted on April 30, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Every time you tell your daughter you yell at her out of love you teach her to confuse anger with kindness which seems like a good idea till she grows up to trust men who hurt her cause they look … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, boundaries, child development, communication, cultural questions, family systems, feminine, growing up, kindness & compassion, love, parenting, perception, relationship, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, boundaries, compliance, conditions of worth, conforming, confusing anger and kindness, congruence, conscious parenting, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating boundaries, empowerment, expressing yourself, feminism, internal locus, low cost counselling exeter, misplaced trust, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting and anger, parenting and boundaries, people pleasing, person centred counselling exeter, raising children, realness, rupi kaur, seeking approval, self concept, self esteem, self-determination, self-structure, shouting at children, trust, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

I’m a Therapist, But I’m Not Your Therapist – Kathleen Smith

Posted on December 30, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://www.thecut.com/2017/12/therapist-friends-ask-for-advice.html?utm_campaign=sou&utm_source=fb&utm_medium=s1 Click on the link above for Kathleen’s thoughtful and perceptive piece…. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994

Posted in boundaries, communication, community, conditions of worth, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, ethics, friendship, growth, healing, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, non-directive counselling, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, vulnerability | Tagged advice and therapy, affordable counselling exeter, asking advice, assumptions, autonomy, boundaries, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, expectations in relationship, expectations of self, internal locus, Kathleen Smith, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, prophet in own land, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Spinning Straw – Tracy Cochran

Posted on September 12, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://parabola.org/2017/07/30/spinning-straw-by-tracy-cochran/?utm_content=buffer9bcb5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer Click on the link above to visit the site for Parabola Magazine for this remarkable reworking of the Brothers Grimm. It is not long since we published a piece by Tracy – but the writer stumbled upon this at … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, autonomy, beauty, blaming, boundaries, bullying, cognitive, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, consent, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, fear, feminine, good, gratitude, grief, growth, guilt, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, objectification, perception, power, power and powerlessness, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shadow, surrender, Tracy Cochran, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged abandonment, abuse of power, acceptance by the tribe, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, aloneness, ancestors, armouring, Arthur Rackham, asking the impossible, autonomy, autonomy and acceptance, autonomy and belonging, bargaining, being in the shadows, being invisible, being left, being more, being unable to hold boundaries, betrayal, betraying love, betraying truth, betraying what you love, bitterness, boundaries, Brothers Grimm, causing harm, compassion, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, craving life, cut off from life, dare to be straw, deepest humanity, desecrated, desperation, diminishing ourselves, disconnection, divided, doing more, doing the math, ego mind, embodiment, empathy, emptiness, empty life, entitlement, everyone is special, everything is sacred, everything is special, evolutionary biology, existential emptiness, existential meaning, fairy tales, fear as a driver, fear of death, fear of loss, fear reaction, feeding people, feeling connected, feeling invisible, finding a place, finding balance, finding your reflection in another, folklore, fully alive, good enough, Great Mystery, guilt, having a place, having choice, heartfulness, here and now, holding yourself apart from love, holy work, how to live, humility, identity, inner smallness, internal division, invading boundaries, isolating behaviour, joy of connecting, joy of connection, keeping yourself alone, keeping yourself separate, knowing another, knowing each other, lacking choice, learning how to live, life is more precious than gold, listening without judgment, little rattle stilt, living experience, living fully, locating yourself, losing yourself, loss and grief, low cost counselling exeter, meeting needs indirectly, meeting needs obliquely, metamorphosis, metaphor, mind limitation, mind trap, mirror of another, mirror of love, mortality, myth, nameless, needing others, newborn, no such thing as magic, no-one is special, non possessive love, not good enough, not knowing yourself, not special, nothing is sacred, nothing is special, objectification, objectifying, ordinary and sacred, othering, otherworldly, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, power and powerlessness, power over, present moment, privilege, promises and betrayal, pure love, rage, reflection of love, relationship as transaction, remembering ourselves, resilience, responding and reacting, Rumplestiltskin, sacred love, sacredness, science and magic, science not magic, self acceptance, self armouring, self awareness, self betrayal, self concept, self denigration, self enclosed, self enclosure, self hate, self isolation, self knowledge, self limitation, self love, self rejection, self-structure, sense of sacred, shadow, small self, speaking unwisely, speaking wildly, spinning straw, spinning straw into gold, splitting, story-telling, stuckness, submissiveness, submitting, surrender, survival and acceptance, survival and belonging, telling tales, the first mother, The Heart of Oak Books, the wheel turned, the witness, Tracy Cochran, transformation, transience, trapped in your head, trying to explain, trying to save ourselves, trying to save yourself, turning wheel, unbounded love, unconditional love, using others, value of being alive, value of life, wanting approval, wanting closeness, wanting connection, wanting to be acceptable, wanting to be close, wanting to be known, wanting to be seen, wanting to belong, wanting to feel important, wanting to matter, wanting to please, web of life, what keeps us from love, wholesome work, without consent, without judgment, witnessing consciousness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘Ground’ David Whyte

Posted on July 3, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link for this reflection by David. For those who have difficulty seeing Facebook links, here is the text:- ‘GROUND is what lies beneath our feet. It is the place where we already stand; a state of recognition, … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, boundaries, congruence, creativity, David Whyte, ecological, embodiment, encounter, interconnection & belonging, metaphor & dream, mindfulness, natural world, organismic experiencing, photographs & pictures, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, resilience, self, trust | Tagged acceptance, accepting reality, affordable counselling exeter, anchoring, at home in your body, belonging, boundaries, coming to ground, connectedness, connection, Consolations, CONSOLATIONS The Solace Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, David Whyte, dealing with uncertainty, earthing yourself, element of earth, embodied experience, embodiment, finding a home within, finding support, finding your ground, Ground, grounding, grounding yourself, human needs, inner dialogue, inner meeting external, inner meeting outer, interbeing, interconnection, internal dialogue, internal locus, liminal spaces, locating ourselves, low cost counselling exeter, meeting challenge, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, recognising emotions, recognising feelings, recognizing emotions, recognizing feelings, self encounter, self regulation, self resourcing, self support, somatic experiencing, structure, trust, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Ten Meter Tower by Maximilien Van Aertryck & Axel Danielson

Posted on May 17, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://digg.com/video/ten-meter-tower-psychology-experiment Click on the above link to visit http://www.digg.com for this mesmerising and beautiful film from the New York Times – a little over 16 minutes – of people approaching the edge of a 10 metre diving board. There is … Continue reading →

Posted in autonomy, boundaries, communication, conditions of worth, cultural questions, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, external locus, fear, Gender & culture, gender identity, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, non-conforming, perception, physical being, risk, self, self concept, shame, surrender, vulnerability | Tagged 10 meter tower, 10 metre tower, affordable counselling exeter, autonomy, Axel Danielson, being judged, boundaries, challenging experience, conditions of worth, conforming, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, difficult experience, encountering challenge, encountering fear, external locus, fear of being judged, fear of judgment, inner conflict, internal locus, listening to self, low cost counselling exeter, making difficult choices, Maximilien Van Aertryck, need for acceptance, need to belong, non conforming, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, saying no, saying yes, self concept, self-structure, sense of identity, shame, showing fear, surrender process, ten meter tower, ten metre tower, vulnerability, wanting to expand, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Hello self-loathing, my old friend – Elisabeth Svanholmer

Posted on November 29, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Hello Self-loathing, my old friend… Click on the link above to visit Elisabeth’s website – http://www.livinglifegently.live – to read this post. The writer experiences regular turns of this wheel herself, and so do most of those she works with. Elisabeth’s perspective … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, autonomy, conditions of worth, cultural questions, cultural taboos, emotions, empathy, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, guilt, hearing voices, immanence, internal locus of evaluation, Jung, kindness & compassion, perception, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, violence, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, affirmations, alienation, attachment to beliefs, attempt to reassure, autonomy, awareness, being alongside, being disliked, being judged, belief and sense of purpose, belief systems, better than, body shame, boundaries, cocooning, colluding, community, configurations of self, conflicting beliefs, connection, core belief, cycles of anxiety, cycles of overwhelm, cycles of self loathing, cycles of shame, darker side of being human, death cafes, desire to be hurt, desire to hurt, dialoguing, differing perceptions, differing realities, differing understandings, difficult emotions, discerning, dishonesty, distressing belief, distrust, Elisabeth Svanholmer, emotional withdrawal, emotions, equality, ethical standards, existential meaning, expanding awareness, expressing needs, expression of needs, feeling ashamed of fantasies, feeling ashamed of thoughts, feeling chosen, feeling disconnected, feeling dismissed, feeling frustrated, feeling powerless, feeling special, feeling superior, feeling unacceptable, feeling undeserving, feeling unlovable, feeling unworthy, finding hope, fixing, giving yourself permission, gratitude, hardwired for connection, harshness, harshness to self, hating yourself, having horrible thoughts, hearing multiple voices, hearing voices, hiding from others, hiding from self, higher power, holding beliefs lightly, holding reality lightly, holding space, honouring parts of self, hopefulness, horribleness, human needs, humble, humility, immanence, incongruence, inferiority, intentions, keeping safe, making sense of experience, megalomania, not knowing, numbing, offering reassurance, organising experiences, others’ expectations, pain of self loathing, pep talks, perceptions, pleasing everybody, pleasing people, positive affirmations, protective beliefs, proving yourself, reassuring, recognition, repression, rescuing, secret keeping, seeking approval, seeking reassurance, seeking relief, self care, self compassion, self concept, self containment, self empathy, self hate, self love, self pity, self protection, self talk, self-loathing, self-structure, sense of equality, sense of purpose, shadow, shame, shameful dreams, simplifying beliefs, something wrong with me, spiritual bypass, states of being, staying safe, superiority, suppression, taboos, temporary emotional states, trust, trying to be liked, uncertainty, uncertainty of multiple realities, uncomfortable emotions, unconditional positive regard, unconscious behaviour, unconscious living, unique being, violence, violence to self, Voice Dialogue, withdrawing, witnessing, worthiness, www.livinglifegently.live | Leave a comment

Rupi Kaur on being & expressing yourself

Posted on October 6, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘you tell me to quiet down cause my opinions make me less beautiful but i was not made with a fire in my belly so i could be put out i was not made with a lightness in my tongue … Continue reading →

Posted in autonomy, boundaries, conditions of worth, congruence, creativity, cultural questions, empowerment, equality, identity, internal locus of evaluation, non-conforming, objectification, organismic experiencing, poetry, political, power and powerlessness, resilience, rupi kaur, self, self concept | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, autonomy, boundaries, compliance, conditions of worth, conforming, congruence, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating boundaries, empowerment, expressing yourself, feminism, fire in belly, freedom of speech, freedom of thought, holding boundaries, honouring your truth, internal locus, keeping boundaries, living your truth, low cost counselling exeter, non compliance, non conforming, objectification, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, people pleasing, person centred counselling exeter, realness, reclaiming power, reclaiming your power, reclaiming yourself, resilience, rupi kaur, seeking approval, self concept, self esteem, self expression, self-determination, self-structure, speaking your truth, true to self, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Brené Brown on Living in the Questions

Posted on April 15, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://mariashriver.com/blog/2016/04/prime-book-brene-brown-courage-vulnerability-peter-freed/?utm_source=Current+Users&utm_campaign=6c8a4c7de2-April_8_Send_Out_4_8_2016&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_53bf79976c-6c8a4c7de2-35203661&mc_cid=6c8a4c7de2&mc_eid=baf214491e Brené talking about what the maturation process has looked like for her… We agree – learning to live in the questions is also what we see unfolding in therapy. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994 … Continue reading →

Posted in boundaries, Brene Brown, compassion, conditions of worth, congruence, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, growing up, growth, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, meaning, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, risk, self, self concept, shadow, shame, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged achievement, achievement culture, affordable counselling exeter, alpha parenting, armor, armour, belonging, boundaries, Brené Brown, competitive culture, consumer society, consumerism, control, controlling outcome, coping mechanisms, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creativity, de-armoring, de-armouring, depletion, difficult feeling, exhaustion, existential meaning, exploring the darkness, feeling inadequate, feeling lost, feeling resentful, finding answers, finding certainty, getting hurt, giving yourself permission, growing into your gifts, growing up, holding boundaries, I am enough, imperfection, inadequacy, living in the mystery, living in the questions, lostness, love and light, low cost counselling exeter, materialism, maturation, midlife crisis, midlife questions, not knowing, owning your narrative, owning your stories, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, people pleasing, performing, person centred counselling exeter, Peter Freed, pretending, Prime, protecting yourself, rediscovering creativity, resentment, risk, saying no, self protection, self worth, self worth based on achievement, setting boundaries, shame, show up and be seen, showing up, slowing down, softening into the mysteries, still searching, transformation, transformative change, transience, uncertainty, uncomfortable feeling, unknowing, unravelling, vulnerability, weakness, what people think, whole heart, worthiness, worthy of love, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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