Tag Archives: abuse

Laura Delano on Feeling your feelings, empathy, compassion – & the shrink

Posted on June 2, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the above link to visit Laura’s Facebook page, for this moving, accurate, important post. We work outside the ‘mental health’/psychiatric system and terminology here. We choose our therapists for their willingness to do their own work and their … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, autonomy, awakening, civil rights, client as 'expert', clients' perspective, compassion, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, DSM, emotions, empathy, equality, ethics, fear, grief, growth, healing, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, Laura Delano, medical model, non-conforming, non-directive counselling, organismic experiencing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, perception, person centred, power and powerlessness, presence, psychiatric abuse, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, values & principles, violence, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged abuse, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, aliveness, authentic being, authenticity, awareness, belonging, big feelings, biomedical model, biomedical reductionism, blaming, carrying collective shadow, carrying shadow for others, coercive conformity, coercive drug treatment, coercive psychiatric treatment, collective shadow, compassion based relating, compassionate encounter, conditions of worth, conformity, connecting in relationship, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, crying frequently, cultural shadow, desecration, discrimination, disease and disorder model, embodied wisdom, embodiment, emotional awareness, emotional connection, emotions as wisdom, encounter, existential meaning, expanding awareness, experiencing anger, experiencing despair, experiencing grief, experiencing joy, external locus, fear, fear as motivating emotion, fear based behaviour, fear based paradigm, fear of self, fear of your own power, grieving process, holding sacred space, immanence, insecurity, intense emotion, intense emotional states, interbeing, interconnectedness, interconnection, intolerance, labelling people, lack of awareness, Laura Delano, loneliness, low cost counselling exeter, meaning, medical model, medical reductionism, medicalisation of distress, medicalization of distress, mental health labelling, mental illness, mirroring, modelling compassion, modelling love based relationship, modelling ways of being, mourning process, mystification, neglect, non-conforming, nothing is wrong with you, oppression, organismic experiencing, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, pathologising distress, pathologising emotion, pathologising feeling, pathologizing distress, pathologizing emotion, pathologizing feeling, patriarchy, person centred counselling exeter, person centred relationship, personal shadow, power, power imbalance, power of being seen, power of crying, power of surrender, power of vulnerability, powerlessness, presence, psychiatric disempowerment, psychiatric drugs, psychiatric labeling, psychiatric labelling, psychiatric model, psychiatric reductionism, reclaiming your power, recovering from psychiatry, reductionism in biomedical model, reductionism in psychiatry, relational communication, relational connection, relational presence, relationship, relationship heals, sacred expression, sacred space, sacredness of feelings, scapegoating, scientific reductionism, self concept, self-structure, shame, shyness, social control, social isolation, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, too emotional, trauma, unresolved trauma, violence, wounded healer, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

In That Year – Kim Moore

Posted on October 12, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

In That Year And in that year my body was a pillar of smoke and even his hands could not hold me. And in that year my mind was an empty table and he laid his thoughts down like dishes of … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, conditions of worth, creativity, Disconnection, Gender & culture, grief, healing, identity, Kim Moore, loneliness, loss, metaphor & dream, poetry, power and powerlessness, relationship, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shadow, surrender, transformation, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged abuse, abusive relationship, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, aloneness, Art of Falling, brokenness, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, David Morley, despair, experiencing abuse, experiencing trauma, feeling powerless, grief process, grieving, identity, isolation, isolation in relationship, Kim Moore, loneliness in relationship, loss of autonomy, loss of identity, loss of self, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, powerlessness, self concept, self-structure, sense of identity, sense of self, shadow, trauma, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Never Read the Comments – Liz Gilbert

Posted on June 2, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

” This feels personally relevant to the writer, who has her own experience of group attack, including via the internet, and (some) people’s willingness to make sweeping and vicious statements about other human beings they have never met, based on one … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, anger, autonomy, blaming, boundaries, bullying, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, empowerment, external locus, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, objectification, perception, political, power and powerlessness, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shaming, trauma, violence, vulnerability | Tagged abandoning self, abuse, acknowledgement, acknowledging, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, anticipation, anxiety, armouring, authenticity, awfulising, awfulizing, being of service, being seen, belonging, betrayal, blame and shame model, Brené Brown, Buber, Buber I It, bullying, bystander apathy, caring what others think, catastrophising, catastrophizing, civil rights, clarity of values, closing down, closing your heart, communication, comparing self with others, comparison with others, compassion, conditions of worth, connectedness, connection, consent, consent to publication, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creativity, critics don't count, cruelty, culture of humiliation, cyber-bullying, de-armouring, dealing with criticism, dealing with haters, dealing with uncertainty, disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embarrassment, empathy, ethic of service, ethics, exposure, facing judgement, fear, fear of humiliation, fear of unknown, feedback, freedom of expression, gainsayers, grief, grieving, handling criticism, handling uncertainty, harassment, Human Rights, humiliation, ideal self, innovation, inspiration, interconnectedness, interdependence, internet bullying, judgement, judgemental attitudes, Liz Gilbert, loneliness, loss, love and service, loving presence, low cost counselling exeter, meanness, minority influence, Monica Lewinsky, mortification, objectification, online bullying, online harassment, opening your heart, originality, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, personal history, personal shifts, presence, public humiliation, public shaming, publication without consent, realness, receiving feedback, recontextualising experience, recontextualizing experience, resilience, scarcity mindset, Self, self abandonment, self armouring, self blame, self concept, self critical, self criticism, self discipline, self doubt, self esteem, self judgement, self protection, self worth, self-structure, service, service of the work, shame, shaming, showing up, shutting down, snapchat, spiritual discipline, staying open, suicide, sweaty creative, TED, the man in the arena, the unknown, Theodore Roosevelt, transformation, trauma, trolling, trust, unkindness, upstander, upstanding, value system, valuing yourself, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Monica Lewinsky with Jon Ronson

Posted on April 26, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/apr/16/monica-lewinsky-shame-sticks-like-tar-jon-ronson Click on the link above for today’s post – Monica Lewinsky in a recent interview with Jon Ronson in The Guardian, well worth a read. In 2015, we published a link to, and a piece on, Monica’s wonderful TED talk ‘The … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, blaming, bullying, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, empowerment, ethics, fear, Gender & culture, grief, healing, identity, interconnection & belonging, loneliness, loss, Monica Lewinsky, objectification, perception, political, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, sexual being, shadow, shame, shaming, suicide, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged abuse, acquiring a sense of self, affordable counselling exeter, anti-bullying advocacy, anti-bullying emojis, anti-bullying gifs, betrayal, bigotry, blame and shame model, bullying, bystander apathy, Bystander Revolution, bystanding, civil rights, communication, compassion, competing narrative, conditions of worth, consent, core pain, core trauma, core wound, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cruelty, culture of humiliation, cure for shame, cyber-bullying, de-objectifying, dehumanising, dehumanizing, deobjectifying, developing a sense of self, disconnection, effects of shock, embarrassment, empathy, ethics, exclusion, exposure, fear, fear of ostracisation, feminism, grief, harassment, Human Rights, humiliation, identity, integrating trauma, internet bullying, internet shaming, Jon Ronson, judgement, legitimising bullying, legitimizing bullying, Lindsey Stone, loneliness, loss, low cost counselling exeter, Mike Daisey, misogyny, Monica In Black And White, Monica Lewinsky, mortification, mutual relationship, object of hate, objectification, online bullying, online harassment, ostracisation, ostracising, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, projecting, public humiliation, public shaming, racism, recontextualising experience, recontextualizing experience, resilience, Self, self concept, self esteem, sense of self, shame, Shame and Survival, shaming, shock, shock behaviours, suicide, targeting difference, TED, threat to identity, threatened identity, transformation, trauma, trolling, upstander, upstanding, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘What happened when I confronted my cruellest troll’ Lindy West

Posted on January 9, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/feb/02/what-happened-confronted-cruellest-troll-lindy-west?CMP=share_btn_tw Interesting piece by Lindy. From where we are looking, online/media bullying is one of the uglier of the many ugly aspects of our current culture. The writer finds shocking and bewildering some people’s willingness to make and express judgements … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, accountability, anger, blaming, bullying, civil rights, communication, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, ethics, forgiveness, grief, guilt, identity, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loss, objectification, power and powerlessness, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shaming, vulnerability | Tagged abuse, affordable counselling exeter, bullying, civil rights, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cruelty, culture of humiliation, cyber-bullying, disconnection, empathy, ethics, exposure, fear, freedom of expression, grief, harassment, humiliation, internet bullying, judgement, Lindy West, loss, low cost counselling exeter, objectification, online bullying, online harassment, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, public humiliation, public shaming, resilience, Self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, trauma, trolling, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The Ecology of Language – Abbie Simmonds

Posted on November 18, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://dark-mountain.net/blog/the-ecology-of-language/ Fascinating piece by Abbie, about the ways in which language holds and shapes (or can limit/reduce) meaning, personally, collectively, spiritually – and has the power to connect us with our embodied experiencing and with the land. She quotes Wade Davis:- … Continue reading →

Posted in awakening, beauty, cognitive, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, congruence, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, ecological, ecological issues, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, ethics, external locus, family systems, flow, gratitude, grief, growing up, growth, healing, human condition, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, mindfulness, natural world, objectification, organismic experiencing, perception, physical being, poetry, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, spirituality, surrender, sustainability, transformation, trust, vulnerability, wonder | Tagged Abbie Simmonds, abundance, abuse, affordable counselling exeter, aggression, alchemy, alchemy of poetry, alienation, anger, attachment, bereavement, birth, Buddhism, Buddhist spirituality, change, commodification, communication, communication tools, conditions of worth, confusion, connection to the environment, connection with earth, connection with land, consumerism, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, cultural history, Dark Mountain, dehumanising, dehumanizing, ecology of language, ecosystem, emotional attachment, empathy, encounter, existential meaning, exploitation, expressing experience, external experience, extreme emotional states, extreme experience, familial history, family history, folklore, forest of the mind, fragmentation, frustration, Gaia, Gilbert Highet, grace, gratitude, grief, grieving, growth, human spirit, I create as I speak, impoverishment of language, In the beginning was the word, internal experience, labeling, labelling, language and history, language and meaning, language and reality, language as a dynamic force, language as alive, language of soul, lexicon of the natural world, living language, logos, longing, loss, love, loving the land, low cost counselling exeter, manipulation by advertising, Martin Shaw, metamorphosis, monoculture language, mortality, mythology, naming experience, narrative, objectifying, over simplification, pain of loss, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, personal history, personal meaning, plant medicine, poetry, power of language, presence, psychiatric, psychiatric labelling, rage, reality, reality perception, relationship ending, replenishment, right speech, Robert Macfarlane, scapegoating, School of Myth, secret names, Self, self concept, self expression, separation, shamanic mythology, spirituality, story, surrender, symbolising, symbolizing, transformation, transience, tribal history, understanding, Wade Davis, word hoard, word wood, words and history, words and meaning, words and power, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yearning | Leave a comment

Human

Posted on November 15, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

For the writer, this says all that is necessary. It illustrates what is (catastrophically) left out of account by the ‘perpetrator’/’victim’ binary mindset favoured in our cultures as they stand…. Thank you to Yaacov Darling Khan for posting this on Facebook, and … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, accountability, anger, awakening, blaming, childhood abuse, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, forgiveness, Gabor Mate, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, paradigm shift, relationship, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shadow, transformation, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability, Yann Arthus-Bertrand | Tagged 'evil', abuse, accountability, adverse childhood event, adverse childhood experience, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, anger, awakening, blaming, childhood abuse, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, criminal justice system, disconnection, empathy, encounter, forgiveness, fragmentation, Gabor Mate, Human, kindness, learning to love, low cost counselling exeter, modeling love, modelling love, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, relationship, self concept, separation, shadow, transformation, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, Yann Arthus-Bertrand | 1 Comment

If They Stayed: A Letter to You – Kristin Ryan

Posted on October 13, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://iamnotasilentpoet.wordpress.com/2015/10/13/if-they-stayed-a-letter-to-you-by-kristin-ryan/ Powerful piece by Kristin. With many thanks to her, and also thanks to ‘I am not a silent poet’ and Reuben Woolley. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling Exeter since 1994

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, anger, childhood abuse, Eating, emotions, fear, forgiveness, growing up, healing, identity, parenting, poetry, power and powerlessness, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, shadow, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged 'eating disorder', abuse, adverse childhood event, adverse childhood experience, affordable counselling exeter, alcohol and violence, anger, childhood abuse, consequences, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, emotional consequences, familial violence, forgiveness, healing, identity, Kristin Ryan, low cost counselling exeter, not a silent poet, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal experience of trauma, refusing forgiveness, relationship, Reuben Woolley, trauma, trust, trust in relationship, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | 2 Comments

Jason Hine on the true essence of the masculine

Posted on October 11, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Lovely piece from Jason Hine about masculinity in our existing cultures, and in potentia. Try clicking on the title, but the link here has been problematic so, in case you cannot see it, here is a cut-and-paste! ‘I feel it … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, actualizing tendency, awakening, blaming, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, diversity, ecological, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, equality, ethics, external locus, fear, Gender & culture, growth, healing, human condition, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Jason Hine, kindness & compassion, love, masculine, meaning, mindfulness, natural world, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, paradigm shift, perception, physical being, political, power, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, therapeutic growth, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged abuse, activism, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, altruism, belittling, belonging, body sense, bringing your gifts, calling, challenge, claiming personal power, coercive culture, community, compassion, competition, confrontation, connectedness, connection with natural world, connection with nature, conscious living, consciousness, controlling behaviour, controlling culture, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creating abuse infantile frustration, creativity, culture of coercion, culture of control, defender of life, demonising maleness, demonising masculinity, demonizing maleness, demonizing masculinity, desensitization, destructive behaviour, developmental process, developmental trauma, disconnected thought patterns, disconnection, distorted developmental process, distortions of masculine power, division, domination, dreaming intelligence, embodied truth, embodiment, emerging masculinity, empowerment, essence of the masculine, existential threat, external authority, external locus, fear, feeling sense, gardeners of the earth, gender discrimination, global consciousness, growth process, healing process, honourable warrior, honouring, honouring the masculine, immanence, immanent intelligence, individuated man, individuation, inner truth, inner voice, inspiring life, intentionality, interconnection, interdependence, internal locus, intuition in men, intuitive sense, Jason Hine, life as sacred, love, low cost counselling exeter, man as protector, masculine, masculine energies, masculine intuition, masculine nurture, neglect, neo liberal, neoliberal, nurture, nurturing, oppression, oppressor, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, pathologising maleness, pathologising masculinity, pathologizing maleness, pathologizing masculinity, patriarchal behaviour, patriarchy, person centred counselling exeter, personal discovery, personal journey, personal power, personal work, process of healing, process work, projection, protecting life, sacred masculine, sacred purpose, self concept, self-structure, sensitivity, sensitivity as strength, shadow, shame, shaming, shaming men, shaming of maleness, spiritual warrior, spiritual work, standing up for values, stewardship, subjective experience, therapeutic process, trauma, traumatic experience, tribe, unconscious behaviour, vocation, vulnerability, vulnerability as strength, warrior, web of life, wounded feminine, wounded masculine, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Person-Centred Basics – Janet Tolan on Listening to the whole person

Posted on September 19, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

This is is the first of an occasional series we are launching, refreshing some basics of person-centred theory. We are beginning with Janet Tolan, on the importance of affording the core conditions to self-structure. ‘Listening to the whole person One … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, clients' perspective, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, Janet Tolan, love, meaning, non-directive counselling, organismic experiencing, person centred, person centred theory, self, self concept, self esteem, supervision, tears, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, unconditional positive regard, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged abuse, acceptance, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, anorexia, awareness, barriers in counselling, barriers in psychotherapy, barriers in therapy, conditions of worth, conforming, counselling exeter, counselling supervision, counsellor Exeter, counsellor judgements, counsellors Exeter, cultural context, cultural values, disapprobation, distress, embarrassment, empathic listening, expanding awareness, expression of feelings, holistic, integrating meaning, integration, Janet Tolan, low cost counselling exeter, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, PCA, perceived threat, person centered approach, person centered theory, person centred counselling exeter, person-centred approach, person-centred theory, psychological release, self concept, self concept distortion, self concept structures, self esteem, self structure distortion, self worth, self-structure, Skills in Person-centred Counselling, social values, stuckness in counselling, stuckness in psychotherapy, stuckness in therapy, symbolisation, symbolization, tears in therapy, therapeutic process, true expression, unconditional positive regard, UPR, validating personal meaning, validation, whole person, working with clients, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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