Tag Archives: self-responsibility

What Taking Care of Yourself Really Means – Elizabeth Gilbert

Posted on August 29, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/Elizabeth-Gilbert-Practical-Ways-To-Practice-Self-Care?FB=fb_sss_gilbert_self_care Click on the link above for this vitally important and approachable piece by Liz Gilbert (‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and ‘Big Magic’) on how to make sense of the – so difficult for so many – idea of loving yourself:- … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embodiment, empathy, encounter, fear, healing, identity, kindness & compassion, love, Mary Oliver, metaphor & dream, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shame, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged abuse and trauma, abused, affordable counselling exeter, beyond fear, Big Magic, blame cycles, blame model, caring for yourself, Cole Porter, communicating affection, communicating love, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative living, dealing with abuse, dealing with trauma, desperation, edge of terror, effect of lack of love, Elizabeth Gilbert, engaging with agitation, experiencing loneliness, experiencing stress, expressing affection, expressing love, fear of abandonment, fear of being abandoned, fear of being hurt, fear of being left, fear of hurt, how do I love myself, how to love, inner animal, lack of love, Liz Gilbert, loving care, loving yourself, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, managing abuse, Mary Oliver, merely mammals, neglect, neglected animal, neuroses, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, playing, practicing self care, practising self care, raising self esteem, responding to agitation, responding to trauma, Self, self abandonment, self abuse, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self harm, self hatred, self love, self neglect, self stewardship, self-responsibility, shame and blame, shame cycles, showing affection, showing love, soft animal, taking care of your animal, taking care of yourself, tenderness, terror, trauma response, traumatisation, traumatization, traumatized animal, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The Loneliness of Donald Trump – Rebecca Solnit

Posted on June 29, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://lithub.com/rebecca-solnit-the-loneliness-of-donald-trump/ Click on the link above to visit http://www.lithub.com for this perceptive and sad piece by Rebecca. ““They were careless people,” F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote of the rich couple at the heart of The Great Gatsby. “They smashed up things and … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, boundaries, bullying, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, equality, ethics, identity, interconnection & belonging, loneliness, meaning, metaphor & dream, objectification, person centred, political, power, power and powerlessness, reality, self, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, trauma | Tagged A New York City Atlas, absolute power, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alternative facts, always wanting more, American buffoon, awareness, awareness of oneself in relation to others, awareness of others, be careful what you wish for, being closed to others, being mocked, belonging, breaking things, bully of fact, bullying, butt of jokes, calling to account, collective shadow, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, consumer society, consumerism, cooperative relationship, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, covfefe, craving, cultural shadow, democracy of mind and heart, democracy of social discourse, derision, destructive pride, distorted reality, distorted sense of self, Donald Trump, Dorian Gray, echo chamber, ego mind, egomaniacs, enduring challenge, enduring contradiction, equality, equality keeps us honest, everyone is important, existential meaning, expanding awareness, experiencing mockery, experiencing shame, F Scott Fitzgerald, fake university, feeding the beast, feeling worthless, Fisherman's Wife, flattery, fortune’s fool, free press, gaining awareness, grasp exceeding understanding, graven image, hall of mirrors, Hannah Arendt, harming others, hedonism, hubris, hungry ghost, image building, importance of boundaries, importance of consequences, importance of limits, indulgence, inner dialogue, inner ethical compass, insatiable greed, interbeing, internal ethical system, inward ethical system, isolation, it’s not about you, Karma, karmic balance, Krista Tippet, lack of awareness, loneliness, lonely at the top, low cost counselling exeter, Lyndsey Stonebridge, making demands, materialism, meaninglessness, Midas touch, mirroring, moral world, narcissists, need for flattery, nemesis, no concept of otherness, no concept of others, Nonstop Metropolis, objectification, objectifying, Occupy Wall Street, On Being, On the Origins of Totalitarianism, overreach, overreaching, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, peer feedback, person centred counselling exeter, personal shadow, power and glory, power and prominence, power corrupts, powerlessness, powerlessness and inauthenticity, powerlessness and pretence, pretending, privilege, privilege and oblivion, privilege and obliviousness, Pushkin, Rebecca Solnit, reductionism, reflecting mirror, relational responsibility, reputational damage, responsibility to other, retribution, rule of law, self concept, self destruction, self harming, self hatred, self imposed isolation, self protection, self reflection, self-destructive behaviour, self-loathing, self-responsibility, self-structure, sense of self, shadow, shaming, slow suicide, social responsibility, sociopaths, solipsism, subordinating the system of government, suppressing evidence, the banality of evil, The Fisherman and the Golden Fish, The Great Gatsby, The Mother of All Questions, the void, trauma, tyranny, vast carelessness, wanting to have your own way, willingness, worthlessness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Jordan Peterson on Finding a Voice

Posted on June 4, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The writer has a sense that she and Jordan might see some fundamental things differently….and she is pretty much word for word with him on this, although (at least sometimes) she might say it with softer energies these days…. … Continue reading →

Posted in accountability, actualizing tendency, blaming, bullying, civil rights, communication, conditions of worth, congruence, cultural questions, diversity, education, empowerment, ethics, fear, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, meaning, non-conforming, perception, political, power and powerlessness, presence, risk, scapegoating, self concept, self esteem, shaming, trauma, violence, vulnerability | Tagged accountability, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, attachment to outcome, authentic expression, authenticity, being articulate, blaming and shaming, bullying, choosing consequences, choosing your consequences, closing down free speech, closing people down, coercive control, collective scapegoating, conditions of worth, congruence, connectedness, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating meaning, degrees of separation, diversity, dynamics of oppression, empowerment, ethics and responsibility, existential meaning, facing the consequences, feeling safe to speak, free speech, group mentality, human networks, interconnection, internal locus, investing in outcome, investment in outcome, Jordan Peterson, living in a bubble, living in a vacuum, living with consequences, logocentricity, longing for truth, low cost counselling exeter, mob mentality, motivation for nihilism, non conforming, not safe to speak, oppressive behaviour, order and chaos, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal responsibility, power of speech, power of truth, procrastinating, procrastination, quest for meaning, say what you think, saying what you think, scapegoating, self realisation, self realization, self respect, self-responsibility, shaming, shaming as bloodsport, shaming as control, speaking out, speaking your truth, speech as divine, stand up for your truth, taking risks, tell the truth, upstanding, value of authenticity, value of truth, web of life, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Gil Bailie on the Crucifixion & Blame

Posted on April 15, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“The surest way to miss the link between the cure (the crucifixion and its aftereffects) and the disease (the structures of scapegoating violence upon which all human social arrangements have depended) is to read the passion story with an eye … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, awakening, blaming, bullying, civil rights, community, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, core conditions, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, ethics, external locus, fear, guilt, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, objectification, perception, person centred, person centred theory, political, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, spirituality, trauma, trust, violence | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aggression of blame, blame, blame and responsibility, blaming, collective responsibility, collective scapegoating, collective shadow, commitment to self, compassion, conditional love, conditions of worth, connection, contempt of others, core beliefs, core conditions, core wounding, core wounds, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural projection, cultural violence, empathic connection, empathic failure, empathy, encounter, expanding awareness, failure of empathy, finger pointing, Gil Bailie, hopelessness, human limitations, human needs, invalidation, inward enquiry, inwards enquiry, kindness, lack of validation, Lived Experience, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, meaning of evil, meaning of the crucifixion, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, not good enough, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal development, personal responsibility, personal shadow, phenomenological approach, presence, projecting, projecting shadow, projection, relationship, religious violence, sacred violence, scapegoating, self awareness, self blame, self care, self compassion, self concept, self contempt, self enquiry, self esteem, self expression, self judgement, self judgment, self perception, self worth, self-responsibility, self-structure, separation, shame, shaming, spirituality, suppressing need, suppressing self expression, trust, unlived life, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, Violence Unveiled, wholeness, withdrawal, witnessing, worth as a person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Maya Angelou on Forgiving yourself

Posted on October 29, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you … Continue reading →

Posted in accountability, actualizing tendency, blaming, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, empathy, empowerment, external locus, forgiveness, growth, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, Maya Angelou, power and powerlessness, self, self concept | Tagged accountability, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, being judged, blaming, conditions of worth, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, empowerment, external locus, forgiving yourself, internal locus, loving yourself, low cost counselling exeter, Maya Angelou, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self condemnation, self empathy, self esteem, self forgiveness, self image, self judgement, self-responsibility, self-structure, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Paul Gordon on finding our feelings in therapy

Posted on August 18, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“I suspect we could all tell a story similar to that told by the playwright David Hare recalling his childhood in post-war Britain: ‘In the other half of our semi-detached lived a solicitor and his wife. She had perfectly mastered … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, anger, awakening, communication, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, fear, growth, healing, human condition, identity, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, suicide, surrender, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, acceptance of emotions, acceptance of feelings, acting on emotions, acting on feelings, affordable counselling exeter, appropriate self expression, awakening, bourgeois rituals, complexity, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, David Hare, disconnection, emotions as a gift, empathy, fear, fear of emotion, fear of feeling, feelings as a gift, harming others, Hope of Therapy, hurting others, low cost counselling exeter, organismic, owning emotion, owning feelings, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Paul Gordon, person centred counselling exeter, power of emotion, power of feelings, presence, recognising emotions, recognising feelings, recognizing emotions, recognizing feelings, repressing emotion, repressing feelings, responsibility for emotion, responsibility for feelings, self acceptance, self expression, self-responsibility, suicide, symbolising experience, symbolizing experience, terror, therapeutic process, unconscious, unconsciousness, William James, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Liz Gilbert on how to hold ourselves lovingly when life’s tough

Posted on August 8, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link for this Facebook post by Liz Gilbert (of ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ fame). We posted something from Liz not that long ago – and this feels important, so here is another… People who come to this service … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, blaming, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, emotions, empathy, empowerment, grief, growth, guilt, kindness & compassion, love, Palace Gate Counselling Service, presence, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, transformation, trauma, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged acceptance, accountability, affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, awakening, beautiful freak, being broken, being emotional, being judgmental, being sensitive, being with difficult feeling, brokenness, causing pain to others, compassion, confusion, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dealing with crisis, dealing with divorce, dealing with loss, denial, deserving love, difficult emotion, difficult feeling, distortion, divorce, Elizabeth Gilbert, embarrassment, emotional endurance, empathy, family illness, feeling broken, feeling shame, forgiveness, grace, grief, grieving, haters, hating, hatred, human struggle, hurting others, kindness, kindness to self, Liz Gilbert, loss, love, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, managing crisis, maturing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, practicing self love, radical self acceptance, radical self love, regret, remorse, repression, responding to crisis, self abuse, self acceptance, self attack, self awareness, self care, self compassion, self criticism, self degradation, self doubt, self empathy, self esteem, self hatred, self honesty, self love, self-responsibility, shame, strong emotion, suffering, tenderness, transformation, uncertainty, wishing you were different, withholding, withholding love, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Matt Licata on not allowing ‘spirituality’ to shame our needs

Posted on January 20, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

This is so important. The blame and shame model is always toxic, whether the more traditional style, or clad in New Age robes. We all feel, and we all need – it’s integral to the human experience. The helpful response is … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, blaming, bullying, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, growth, human condition, immanence, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, presence, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, spirituality, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, touch, vulnerability | Tagged affection, affordable counselling exeter, aggression, aggression of blame, attachment, attunement, being met, being seen, beloved, blame, blaming, caregivers, commitment to self, compassion, completeness, conditional love, conditions of worth, connection, contact, core beliefs, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, dependence, despair, disappointment, Elizabeth Gadd Photography, embodied experience, empathic connection, empathic failure, empathy, encounter, energy, enlightenment, expressing needs, failure of empathy, faith, family of origin, getting needs met in relationship, growth, having needs, hopelessness, human limitations, human needs, invalidation, kindness, lack of validation, Lizzy Gadd, longing, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, low vibration, manifestation, manifesting, Matt Licata, misunderstanding, need for affection, need for contact, need for love, need for touch, need to be heard, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, neediness, New Age, new age fundamentalism, no self, not good enough, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, presence, relational animal, relational mammal, relationship, risk, self blame, self care, self compassion, self concept, self esteem, self expression, self judgement, self judgment, self perception, self worth, self-responsibility, self-structure, separation, shame, shaming, spiritual aggression, spiritual growth, spirituality, suppressing need, suppressing self expression, transcendence, trust, unlived life, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, wholeness, withdrawal, witnessing, worth as a person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yearning | Leave a comment

Gabor Maté on Addiction, change & relationship with someone who is addicted

Posted on October 6, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘To live with an addict of any kind is frustrating, emotionally painful and often infuriating. Family, friends and spouse may feel they are dealing with a double personality: one sane and lovable, the other devious and uncaring. They believe the … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, accountability, actualizing tendency, anger, blaming, communication, compulsive behaviour, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, encounter, ethics, family systems, Gabor Mate, guilt, loss, person centred, power and powerlessness, relationship, research evidence, sadness & pain, self concept, shadow, shaming, transformation | Tagged 7 stages, acceptance, accepting others, acknowledging reality, addict, addiction, adult-to-adult relationships, affordable counselling exeter, anger, attempting to change others, autonomous, autonomy, blame, blaming, brain physiology, broken promises, changing others, choice, coercion, confrontation, consent, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dishonesty, double personality, Edward Deci, emotional withdrawal, family attitudes in addiction, fear, frustration, Gabor Mate, guilt, guilt and resentment, harmful behaviour, hostility, hurtful behaviour, intention, intervention, judgement, leaving an addict, low cost counselling exeter, Maia Szalawitz, manipulating, motivation, motivation and addiction, motivational techniques, not judging, nurture, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, punishing, punishment, rage, Realm of Hungry Ghosts, reforming an addict, rejecting, rejection, relationship with an addict, resenting, resentment, resentment in relationship, responsibility, sabotage in relationship, self abnegation, self concept, self-mastery, self-responsibility, self-sacrifice, self-structure, seven stages, shadow, shame, shaming, soul suicide, taking responsibility for another person's behaviour, tolerating behaviour, tough love, toxic relationship, unconditional acceptance, unreliability, wisdom, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Arthur Miller on loving our lives

Posted on April 1, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘I think one must finally take one’s life in one’s arms.’ After the Fall: Arthur Miller We can make sense of therapy as a means of supporting this process. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter

Posted in acceptance, awakening, beauty, consciousness, empowerment, growth, healing, human condition, identity, internal locus of evaluation, love, meaning, perception, presence, self, therapeutic growth | Tagged acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, After the Fall, Arthur Miller, awakening, beauty, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, empowerment, existential meaning, growth, healing, human condition, identity, internal locus, love, low cost counselling exeter, meaning, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, presence, Self, self-responsibility, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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