Tag Archives: seeking approval

Marion Woodman on Growth

Posted on July 12, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“There is no growth without real feeling. Children not loved for who they are do not learn how to love themselves. Their growth is an exercise in pleasing others, not in expanding through experience. As adults, they must learn to … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, compassion, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, emotions, growing up, growth, love, Marion Woodman, parenting, person centred, presence, relationship, self concept, unconditional positive regard | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, being accepted, Coming Home to Myself, conditional love, conditional regard, conditions of worth, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, deep feeling, experiencing acceptance, feeling emotions, inner child, low cost counselling exeter, Marion Woodman, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, pleasing others, real feeling, receiving nurture, reparenting, seeking approval, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self love, self nurture, self-structure, winning approval, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Rupi Kaur on confusing anger and kindness

Posted on April 30, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Every time you tell your daughter you yell at her out of love you teach her to confuse anger with kindness which seems like a good idea till she grows up to trust men who hurt her cause they look … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, boundaries, child development, communication, cultural questions, family systems, feminine, growing up, kindness & compassion, love, parenting, perception, relationship, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, boundaries, compliance, conditions of worth, conforming, confusing anger and kindness, congruence, conscious parenting, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating boundaries, empowerment, expressing yourself, feminism, internal locus, low cost counselling exeter, misplaced trust, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting and anger, parenting and boundaries, people pleasing, person centred counselling exeter, raising children, realness, rupi kaur, seeking approval, self concept, self esteem, self-determination, self-structure, shouting at children, trust, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Hello self-loathing, my old friend – Elisabeth Svanholmer

Posted on November 29, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Hello Self-loathing, my old friend… Click on the link above to visit Elisabeth’s website – http://www.livinglifegently.live – to read this post. The writer experiences regular turns of this wheel herself, and so do most of those she works with. Elisabeth’s perspective … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, autonomy, conditions of worth, cultural questions, cultural taboos, emotions, empathy, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, guilt, hearing voices, immanence, internal locus of evaluation, Jung, kindness & compassion, perception, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, violence, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, affirmations, alienation, attachment to beliefs, attempt to reassure, autonomy, awareness, being alongside, being disliked, being judged, belief and sense of purpose, belief systems, better than, body shame, boundaries, cocooning, colluding, community, configurations of self, conflicting beliefs, connection, core belief, cycles of anxiety, cycles of overwhelm, cycles of self loathing, cycles of shame, darker side of being human, death cafes, desire to be hurt, desire to hurt, dialoguing, differing perceptions, differing realities, differing understandings, difficult emotions, discerning, dishonesty, distressing belief, distrust, Elisabeth Svanholmer, emotional withdrawal, emotions, equality, ethical standards, existential meaning, expanding awareness, expressing needs, expression of needs, feeling ashamed of fantasies, feeling ashamed of thoughts, feeling chosen, feeling disconnected, feeling dismissed, feeling frustrated, feeling powerless, feeling special, feeling superior, feeling unacceptable, feeling undeserving, feeling unlovable, feeling unworthy, finding hope, fixing, giving yourself permission, gratitude, hardwired for connection, harshness, harshness to self, hating yourself, having horrible thoughts, hearing multiple voices, hearing voices, hiding from others, hiding from self, higher power, holding beliefs lightly, holding reality lightly, holding space, honouring parts of self, hopefulness, horribleness, human needs, humble, humility, immanence, incongruence, inferiority, intentions, keeping safe, making sense of experience, megalomania, not knowing, numbing, offering reassurance, organising experiences, others’ expectations, pain of self loathing, pep talks, perceptions, pleasing everybody, pleasing people, positive affirmations, protective beliefs, proving yourself, reassuring, recognition, repression, rescuing, secret keeping, seeking approval, seeking reassurance, seeking relief, self care, self compassion, self concept, self containment, self empathy, self hate, self love, self pity, self protection, self talk, self-loathing, self-structure, sense of equality, sense of purpose, shadow, shame, shameful dreams, simplifying beliefs, something wrong with me, spiritual bypass, states of being, staying safe, superiority, suppression, taboos, temporary emotional states, trust, trying to be liked, uncertainty, uncertainty of multiple realities, uncomfortable emotions, unconditional positive regard, unconscious behaviour, unconscious living, unique being, violence, violence to self, Voice Dialogue, withdrawing, witnessing, worthiness, www.livinglifegently.live | Leave a comment

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross on living while we’re alive

Posted on October 21, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we’re alive – to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade … Continue reading →

Posted in awakening, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, empowerment, external locus, fear, human condition, identity, internal locus of evaluation, meaning, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, physical being, presence, self, self concept, spirituality | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, autonomy, awakening, conditions of worth, conforming, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, existential meaning, external authority, external locus, fear of death, fear of dying, fear of life, fear of living, inner authority, internal authority, internal locus, living fully, loss of self, low cost counselling exeter, meaning of life, mortality, non conforming, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, people pleasing, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personhood, presence, pretending, purpose of life, seeking acceptance, seeking approval, self concept, self-structure, selfhood, spiritual death, trusting your experience, trusting yourself, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Rupi Kaur on being & expressing yourself

Posted on October 6, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘you tell me to quiet down cause my opinions make me less beautiful but i was not made with a fire in my belly so i could be put out i was not made with a lightness in my tongue … Continue reading →

Posted in autonomy, boundaries, conditions of worth, congruence, creativity, cultural questions, empowerment, equality, identity, internal locus of evaluation, non-conforming, objectification, organismic experiencing, poetry, political, power and powerlessness, resilience, rupi kaur, self, self concept | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, autonomy, boundaries, compliance, conditions of worth, conforming, congruence, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating boundaries, empowerment, expressing yourself, feminism, fire in belly, freedom of speech, freedom of thought, holding boundaries, honouring your truth, internal locus, keeping boundaries, living your truth, low cost counselling exeter, non compliance, non conforming, objectification, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, people pleasing, person centred counselling exeter, realness, reclaiming power, reclaiming your power, reclaiming yourself, resilience, rupi kaur, seeking approval, self concept, self esteem, self expression, self-determination, self-structure, speaking your truth, true to self, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

There is nothing wrong with you

Posted on October 21, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://beyondmeds.com/2014/07/06/there-is-nothing-wrong/ Very helpful post, as so often, from Monica Cassani’s rich collection of resources, links, articles and reflections: http://www.beyondmeds.com Monica’s body of work is invaluable to anyone engaging with what it is to be human, anyone working in our own … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, Alan Watts, beauty, Carl Rogers, Cheri Huber, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, diagnoses of bipolar, Disconnection, Eating, embodiment, emotions, empowerment, encounter, external locus, human condition, iatrogenic illness, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Monica Cassani, natural world, non-directive counselling, organismic experiencing, perception, person centred, power and powerlessness, presence, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, spirituality, trust, working with clients | Tagged acceptance, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, Alan Watts, alcohol use, alienation, anxiety, approval, awakening, awareness, belonging, beloved, bipolar, breakdown, Carl Rogers, Cheri Huber, compulsive behaviour, conditioning, conditions of worth, connection, consciousness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative thinking, creativity, depression, depressive, eating disorders, embodied presence, embodiment, energetic collapse, energy systems, existential anxiety, existential fear, experience, experienced reality, external locus, fear, feelings of inadequacy, Going Beyond Self Hate, human suffering, humanity, iatrogenic illness, illusory reality, insecurity, integration, interconnectedness, interconnection, isolation, loneliness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, manic, manic depression, mindfulness, Monica Cassani, nervous breakdown, non acceptance, non acceptance of self, nothing wrong with you, numbing, observing self, organismic, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, past experience, perceived threat, perception, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personhood, presence, present experience, psychiatric drug withdrawal, psychiatric labels, psychiatric model, relationship, seeking approval, seeking love from outside, Self, self care, self concept, self esteem, self hate, self help, self illusion, self love, self respect, self-consciousness, self-improvement, self-structure, selfhood, sense of inadequacy, separation, spirituality, suffering, Tami Simon, There Is Nothing Wrong With You, threat, transformation, transience, trust, unconscious wisdom, unconsciousness, wholeness, wisdom, www.beyondmeds.com, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

John Rowan on the nature of assuming personal power

Posted on August 24, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘During the process of working with the real self, consciousness changes. The mental ego is mainly either existence-oriented or relationship-oriented. If existence-oriented, then the main concern is with power, mastery and control. If relatedness-oriented, the main concern is with conformity … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, blaming, Carl Rogers, consciousness, core conditions, Disconnection, emotions, empowerment, fear, flow, growth, human condition, internal locus of evaluation, organismic experiencing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, perception, person centred, person centred theory, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, resilience, risk, self, self concept, surrender, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged acceptability, affordable counselling exeter, approval of others, authenticity, autonomy, awareness, belonging, Carl Rogers, change, conditioning, conforming, conformity, connectedness, connection, conscious awareness, consciousness, control, controlling emotions, core conditions, counselling, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural conditioning, defiance, disconnecting, distorted reality, dominant emotion, dominating, domination, dualism, dualistic conception, dualistic world view, ecological systems, ego, ego defence, ego protection, ego structures, egoic mind, emotional states, empathy, existence-oriented, external locus, family conditioning, fear, feelings, flow, growth, harm, human nature, human needs, humanistic counselling, humanistic therapy, independence, integrating, integration, integration of the person, interconnectedness, interconnection, interdependence, John Rowan, low cost counselling exeter, mastery, mental ego, Mother’s Knee, motivating emotion, motivation, non-conforming, numbing, openness, organismic, overwhelm, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, panic, people pleasing, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal power, placating, power, process, process distortion, psychotherapy, rational action, Reality Game, rebellion, relatedness-oriented, relationship, relationship-oriented, resilience, risk, safety, security, seeking approval, seeking validation, Self, self acceptance, self concept structures, self protection, selfish, social conditioning, social responsibility, spontaneity, therapeutic process, therapy, threat, transformation, trust, validating experience, working with the real self, working with the self, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Oriah Mountain Dreamer on Putting herself to one side

Posted on July 24, 2014 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Stepping Away There is this pattern I sometimes unconsciously slip into that does not work well for me. I learned it early- a coping strategy in a childhood home where the adults’ underlying rage and unhappiness was like an ever-present … Continue reading →

Posted in child development, conditions of worth, Disconnection, external locus, family systems, growing up, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, relationship, self | Tagged conditions of worth, coping strategies, disconnection, external locus, internal locus, losing self, organismic experiencing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, placating, pleasing others, seeking approval, self concept | Leave a comment

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