Tag Archives: parenting

Screaming to sleep, Part One: The moral imperative to end ‘cry it out’ Amy Wright Glenn

Posted on November 2, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.phillyvoice.com/screaming-sleep/ Click on the link above to visit Philly Voice’s site for this great piece by Amy. If you are a parent, or thinking about being a parent, or if you work with parents, read this… Too many unintentionally traumatised … Continue reading →

Posted in boundaries, child development, cognitive, communication, compassion, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, ethics, family systems, generational trauma, growing up, interconnection & belonging, love, parenting, power and powerlessness, presence, regulation, relationship, sleep, touch, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, Aha Parenting, Amy Wright Glenn, attachment theory, authentic relationship, babies are not manipulative, babies’ needs, baby care, bad habits in babies, basic human needs, biological dyads, biological sync, bonding with your baby, bonds of attachment, brain connectivity, can babies remember, Caroline Fertleman, child care, child development, childhood development, childhood needs, CIO, co sleeping, coercing children, coercive behaviour, conditioning children, conscious parenting, control and compliance, controlled crying, controlling parental behaviour, coping strategies, coping with stress, coping with trauma, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating autonomy, creating independence, cry it out, crying and cortisol levels, crying babies, developing empathy, development of implicit memory, dominating behaviour, doula, Dr Benjamin Spock, early childhood development, Elizabeth Pantley, emotional regulation, emotional self regulation, enforced compliance, enforced submission, evolutionary attachment theory, evolutionary biology, extinction method, family bed, feeding overnight, forced sleep, forming attachments, forming identity, forming secure attachments, generational trauma, Gentle Sleep Book, gentle sleep training, growing empathy, hold your babies, human anthropology, ignoring a baby’s needs, ignoring crying, implicit memory, importance of connection, importance of contact, importance of touch, infant development, innate need, John Bowlby, lack of support for parents, Laura Markham, learning to self settle, leaving a baby to cry, low cost counselling exeter, managing stress, managing trauma, manipulative as term of abuse, meeting needs, mother and baby as conjoined unit, mother baby dyad, neocortex development, neocortex in babies, neocortex in toddlers, new parent, night waking as normal, night waking in babies, No Cry Sleep Solution, normal physiological behaviour in babies, normal sleep patterns for babies, normal sleep patterns in infancy, paediatric sleep, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, parenting boundaries, Peaceful Parent Happy Kids, person centred counselling exeter, presence, pro social behavior, protective mechanisms in infants, regulation of emotional responses, Richard Ferber, Sarah Ockwell Smith, secure attachment bonds, secure dependence, self preservation, self protection, self regulating, self regulating in babies, self regulation, self settle, self soothing, self soothing in babies, sensitive caregiving, settling babies, settling your baby, shaming mothers, shaming parents, Simone Cave, sleep experts, sleep trainers, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problem, stress mechanisms, supporting parents, why love matters, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Helping my daughter become whom she is meant to be

Posted on March 30, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/2012/06/helping-my-daughter-become-who-she-is-meant-to-be/ Click on the above link to visit http://www.handinhandparenting.org for this gorgeous and profound account of a mother supporting her 3 year old daughter through manifestations of distress, and thereby in dropping down into re-experiencing/processing and releasing birth trauma – with … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, anger, birth trauma, child development, communication, core conditions, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, family systems, fear, growing up, guilt, Hand in Hand Parenting, healing, interconnection & belonging, parenting, physical being, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, tears, transformation, trauma | Tagged ADHD, affordable counselling exeter, aggression in children, aggressive behaviour, allowing children to cry, allowing crying, allowing your child to cry, birth trauma, biting in children, bouts of aggression, catharsis, cathartic crying, cathartic response, childhood aggression, conscious parenting, core pain, core upset, core wound, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating safe space, distress in children, effect of birth trauma, embodied pain, embodiment, emotional release, energy body, energy release, expressing fear, facilitating crying, facilitating tears, faddy eating, feeling trapped, guilt and remorse, Hand in Hand Parenting, healing through tears, helping your child with aggression, hitting in children, holding space, hyperactivity, hyperactivity and distress, listening to children, listening to your child, low cost counselling exeter, my child bites, my child hits, need to cry, needing to cry, offering closeness, pain body, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, picky eating, reactivity, releasing fear, Ritalin for children, safe space, staylistening, supporting behaviour change, transformative change, trapped energy, trust in the process, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Guante ‘Ten Responses to the Phrase ‘Man up”

Posted on December 6, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link above for Guante’s performance of his work on Button Poetry’s Facebook page. Aho. ‘Man up’ belongs in the ‘just don’t say it’ category…. Thanks, Guante, and also to Button Poetry and Angie Buchanan for posting this on Facebook … Continue reading →

Posted in communication, cultural questions, cultural taboos, Disconnection, diversity, emotions, empathy, empowerment, ethics, feminine, Gender & culture, growing up, healing, identity, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, masculine, non-conforming, objectification, paradigm shift, parenting, perception, political, power and powerlessness, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, sexual being, sexual orientation, sexual violence, shadow, shame, shaming, vulnerability | Tagged activism, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, antisocial behaviour, approval, authority, autonomy, belittling, belonging, binary, blame, body image, bullying, Button Poetry, challenge, child development, claiming personal power, coercive conformity, coercive culture, community, compassion, competition, conditions of worth for boys, conditions of worth for men, conforming, conformity, confrontation, connectedness, conscious living, consciousness, contempt, controlling behaviour, controlling culture, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, cultural difference, cultural distortion, cultural diversity, culture of coercion, culture of control, culture of shame, cycles of shame, defensive, demonising maleness, demonising masculinity, demonizing maleness, demonizing masculinity, desensitization, destructive behaviour, developmental process, developmental trauma, disapproval, disconnection, discrimination, discrimination against men, displaced expression, distorted developmental process, distortions of masculine power, diversity, division, domination, educating boys, education, emotional awareness, emotional connection, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence in men, emotions, empathy, empathy in boys, empathy in men, empowerment, essence of the masculine, exclusion, external authority, external locus, fear, gender, gender and culture, gender and emotion, gender bias, gender discrimination, gender prejudice, Guante, humiliation, individuated man, individuation, inner truth, inner voice, internal dialogue, internalised values, internalized values, introjections, judgement, kindness, Kyle Tran Myhre, loneliness, loss, low cost counselling exeter, man up, masculine, masculine energies, masculine intuition, masculine norms, masculine nurture, masculinity, men and emotion, misuse of power, non-conforming, nurture in men, objectification, oppression, oppressor, ostracism, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, parenting, pathologising maleness, pathologising masculinity, pathologizing maleness, pathologizing masculinity, patriarchal behaviour, patriarchal culture, patriarchy, permission, person centred counselling exeter, personal discovery, personal journey, personal power, personal work, personhood, poetry as activism, political, projection, projective identification, projective reality, public shaming, punishment, punishment for not conforming, reclaiming the masculine, relationship, repression, ridicule, sacred feminine, sacred masculine, self concept, self distortion, self sufficiency, self suppression, self-structure, sensitivity, sensitivity as strength, separation, sexual diversity, sexual shaming, sexualisation of the masculine, sexualization of the masculine, shadow, shame, shaming, shaming as bloodsport, shaming men, shaming of maleness, social isolation, social pressure, stigma, stigmatising, stigmatizing, stoicism, subjective experience, suppression, unconscious behaviour, vulnerability, vulnerability as strength, wounded feminine, wounded masculine, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Joy – David Whyte

Posted on September 6, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

David has dedicated this post today on his Facebook page to his daughter, who is beginning college. May all those venturing into the world, and those who love them, experience joy and aliveness. Here is the text, for those who … Continue reading →

Posted in awakening, beauty, consciousness, creativity, David Whyte, dying, embodiment, emotions, encounter, family systems, fear, flow, gratitude, grief, growing up, interconnection & belonging, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, mindfulness, organismic experiencing, parenting, perception, photographs & pictures, physical being, presence, relationship, risk, spirituality, surrender, touch, trust, vulnerability, wonder | Tagged act of grace, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, awakening, belonging, closeness, communion, connectedness, connection, Consolations, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, David Whyte, embodiment, encounter, engagement with life, ephemerality, existential meaning, father daughter relationship, generosity, grief and loss, inhabiting the edges, intentionality, interconnection, intimacy, joy, joy as a form of love, living with death, love is a gift, low cost counselling exeter, meeting fear, meeting our fears, metaphor, mortality, mystery, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parent child relationship, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, practice of generosity, presence, presence and absence, recognition, relationship, relationship with death, risk, risk and intimacy, risk and vulnerability, seasonality, self forgetting, solace, spirituality, surrender, Touch, transience, trust, unknowing, unknown, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Anne Lamott on Mother Rage

Posted on March 24, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Great piece for….anyone who has parented in any form…. Especially if you carry shame about some aspects of how you have parented. Kindness begins with own being, and radiates outwards – and that requires we parent our own light and … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, Anne Lamott, blaming, child development, compassion, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, family systems, growing up, guilt, interconnection & belonging, loneliness, love, parenting, presence, reality, relationship, resilience, shadow, shame, shaming, violence, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, Anne Lamott, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, good enough parenting, low cost counselling exeter, mother rage, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parental alienation, parental isolation, parental power, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, power and parenting, power imbalance, rage, resenting your child, shadow, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘What’s the Cure for Whining?’ Patty Wipfler – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on February 10, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link below for another helpful article from Patty, about how to help your child with their difficult feelings, and get beyond the unhelpfulness of blaming and punishing. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994 … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, blaming, child development, communication, conflict, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, family systems, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, parenting, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, self esteem, shaming, touch, trust, vulnerability | Tagged aloneness, ancestral healing, ancestral pain, asking for help, attention, being loved, belonging, boundaries, catharsis, child behaviour, child’s frame of reference, childhood confidence, childhood distress, childhood needs, children whining, closeness, comforting children, communicating with children, communicating with your child, conflict, connectedness, connection, conscious parenting, contact, difficult feeling, disconnection, emotional climate, emotional outlets, emotional reality, emotional tasks, emotional weather, empathic listening, empathy, encounter, endings, expressing feelings, familial patterns, family patterns, feeling cherished, feeling disconnected, feeling loved, feeling powerless, feeling separate, fixing, frustration, helping children deal with endings, Helplessness, human needs, inner weather, inner well being, interconnection, intimacy, irrational requests, loneliness, manipulation, manipulative behaviour, naughty step, need for contact, parental anger, parental attention, parental availability, parental communication, parental exhaustion, parental resentment, parenting, persistent unhappiness, placating, play therapy, playfulness, powerlessness, presence, punishing, punishing children, punishment, reassurance, reassuring, releasing bad feelings, rescuing, responding not reacting, saying no, saying no to your child, self esteem, sense of connection, separateness, sibling competition, sibling rivalry, somatic expressions of distress, tantrums, time out, trust, uncomfortable feeling, understanding, unhappy mood, venting, well-being, whining, why love matters, zoning out | Leave a comment

Charles Eisenstein ‘Kind is the new cool’

Posted on January 23, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Interesting, hopeful post from Charles, which sits well with the post a couple of days ago showing Xiuhtezcatl Martinez of Earth Guardians speaking to the United Nations:- https://palacegatecounsellingservice.wordpress.com/2016/01/21/xiuhtezcatl-martinez-of-earth-guardians-speaking-to-the-u-n-in-paris/ Here’s the text of Charles’ post, as we have at least one regular reader … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, bullying, Charles Eisenstein, compassion, conditions of worth, cultural questions, diversity, education, empathy, ethics, friendship, growing up, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, objectification, paradigm shift, parenting, power and powerlessness, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, vulnerability | Tagged acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, aggression in children, authenticity, awareness, being a loser, belittling, belonging, Breakfast Club, bullying, bullying behaviour, challenge, Charles Eisenstein, cliques, collective field, compassion, competition, competitive, conditions of worth, cool, coolness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cruelty, cultural values, cyber-bullying, degrading, demeaning, disrespect, dominating, dominating behaviour, dominator culture, Doug Edmunds, emotional courage, empathy, Eric Heiser, ethics, excluding behaviour, exclusion, forging a new normal, friendship, generosity, gentleness, high school experience, homophobia, inner conflict, inner world, insecurity, insults, intolerance, Jenny Gibson, kind, kindness, labelling, LGBT, low cost counselling exeter, meanness, misogyny, nonviolence, normative ethics, objectification, objectifying, objectifying culture, one upsmanship, oppressing, optimism, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, politics, popularity, power, powerlessness, prevailing social conditions, put downs, racial comity, racism, relationship, Riane Eisler, scapegoating, schooling, self concept, self esteem, self worth, self-structure, sexual discourse, shame, shaming, social banter, social conditions, social confidence, social currency, social exclusion, social institutions, social media bullying, social reality, social status, social values, social worth, strong picking on the weak, subculture, talking behind someone’s back, teen suicide, tolerance, tolerating, unkindness, victimisation, victimising, victimization, victimizing, victims, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, youth culture | Leave a comment

An Open Letter of Hope to Parents – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on December 4, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/2015/12/an-open-letter-of-hope-to-parents-around-the-world/ Message of hope for families feeling the pain and fear of some of what is happening in the world. This lovely site is full of helpful resources for parents and adults who want to find new, more helpful ways to relate … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', actualizing tendency, anger, awakening, blaming, child development, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, empowerment, family systems, fear, generational trauma, growing up, Hand in Hand Parenting, healing, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, paradigm shift, parenting, person centred, political, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, self esteem, shadow, sustainability, transformation, trauma, violence, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, belonging, child development, closeness, conditions of worth, connectedness, connection, conscious parenting, conscious relationship, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, family systems, forming self concept, forming self structure, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection, interdependence, intimacy, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, Patty Wipfler, person centred counselling exeter, self concept, self-structure, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The Mirror – Soul Searching Solace

Posted on November 24, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://soulsearchingsolace.com/2015/10/12/the-mirror/ Some time ago, the writer encountered this blog. The author shares with raw authenticity her intense pain – that of a mother whose child has died. There is a lot here to resonate with those of us who are … Continue reading →

Posted in congruence, dying, emotions, fear, grief, identity, interconnection & belonging, loneliness, loss, love, parenting, relationship, sadness & pain, self, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, belonging, bereavement, Child Loss, configurations of self, congruence, connectedness, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, dealing with tragedy, death, Death of a Child, depression, dying, empathy, emptiness, Family, grief, grieving mother, grieving parent, heartbreak, identity, interconnection, loneliness, loss, loss of a child, loss of meaning, love, low cost counselling exeter, marriage, meaning, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, relationship, sadness, Self, sense of self, suffering, time as healer, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, www.soulsearchingsolace.com | Leave a comment

How to prepare emotionally for the death of a difficult parent – Jeff Brown

Posted on November 11, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://soulshaping.com/soulshaping/difficult-parent/ Helpful piece, thanks Jeff. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling Exeter since 1994

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, blaming, body psychotherapy, bodywork, child development, childhood abuse, communication, conditions of worth, conflict, consciousness, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, dying, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, external locus, family systems, fear, forgiveness, generational trauma, grief, growing up, guilt, healing, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Jeff Brown, kindness & compassion, loss, love, parenting, perception, person centred, presence, reality, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, surrender, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged absence, acceptance, acknowledgement, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, An Uncommon Bond, ancestors, ancestral pain, ancestral shame, Apologies to the Divine Feminine, Ascending, authenticity, awakened consciousness, awakening, awakening consciousness, bereavement, blame, blaming, body centered psychotherapy, body psychotherapy, bodywork, carrying it forward, child rearing, child self, childhood beliefs, collective consciousness, collective heart, completion, complex grief, conditioning, conditions of worth, confusion, connectedness, connection, context, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, death of mother, death of parent, developmental stages, dialogue, difficult relationships, disappointment, distorted perception, duty, dying mother, dying parent, embodiment, emotional absence, emotional armour, emotional baggage, emotional debris, emotional paralysis, emotional risk, emotional safety, emotional threat, empowerment, encounter, familial ancestors, familial relationship, family relationship, fantasy, forgiveness, forgiving, gender, generational healing, generational pain, generational trauma, grief, grief process, grief therapy, grieving, grieving difficult relationships, guilt, healing, healing conflict, healing rifts, healthy connection, heartbreak, human condition, human development, human limitations, imprints, incomplete, individuating, individuation, inner narrative, interconnection, interdependence, internalised guilt, internalized guilt, introjections, Jeff Brown, Karmageddon, karmic ancestors, kindness, learning to value ourselves, letting go, life experiences, loss, loss of mother, loss of parent, Love it Forward, loving parenting, loving relationship, low cost counselling exeter, metamorphosis, mystification, narrative, need for fantasy, obligation, overcoming, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, perception, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal beliefs, personal transformation, presence, process work, protective mother, psychotherapy, reality, realness, recognition, reflection work, reflective work, rejection, relational dynamics, relationship, relationship therapy, religious perspective, repressed emotions, resolution, safety, self abuse, self blame, self concept, self distraction, self esteem, self love, self protection, self validation, self worth, self-structure, separation, shame, shame and abuse, shame game, shaming, Soulshaping, Spiritual Graffiti, stagnation, surrender, survivalist conditioning, sustainable transformation, talk therapy, talking therapy, tenderness, therapeutic process, therapeutic work, therapy, things unsaid, threat response, toxic parenting, toxic relationship, transformation, unactualized dreams, unconsciousness, unexpressed anger, unhealed grief, unresolved experiences, unresolved memories, validation, validation from others, vigilance, vulnerability, wanting attention, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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