Tag Archives: self abandonment

Nayyirah Waheed on loving ourselves

Posted on May 13, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“If someone does not want me, it is not the end of the world. But if I do not want me, the world is nothing but endings.” Nayyirah Waheed Yes, yes, yes. The core of therapy is about coming home … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, cultural questions, Disconnection, identity, interconnection & belonging, love, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, boundaries, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, identity, low cost counselling exeter, Nayyirah Waheed, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, self abandonment, self care, self image, self love, self respect, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Matt Licata on Ego

Posted on October 4, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘Ego’ for many of us becomes a term of abuse for self/other and source of shame. Here’s a radically different and far more accurate/useful take on this…. Thanks, Matt. Here’s the text for those who have difficulty seeing Facebook links:- … Continue reading →

Posted in blaming, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, encounter, human condition, identity, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, meaning, meditation, organismic experiencing, perception, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shame, shaming, spirituality, vulnerability | Tagged 'eating disorder', abandoning experience, addictive behavior, addictive behaviour, addictive eating, affordable counselling exeter, anxious avoidant attachment, aroused nervous system, attachment, attachment figures, attuning to experience, avoiding feeling, avoiding pain, avoiding suffering, blaming, claustrophobia, coming home to yourself, compassionate response, compensatory behavior, compensatory behaviour, complaining, compulsive eating, conceptual spirituality, conscious awareness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, critical thoughts, cycle of abandonment, denying experience, denying feelings, denying pain, denying reality, disembodied, disembodiment, disordered eating, dissociation, doorway into wholeness, ego, ego as process, embodied response, embodied vulnerability, emotional suffering, empathy, escaping vulnerability, existential meaning, experience distant, experiencing ego, experiential, experiential learning, feeling unsafe, Great Mystery, heartbreak, heavy heart, humanness, invitation into presence, kind curiosity, kindness to self, limbic fight flight, longing, low cost counselling exeter, managing anxiety, Matt Licata, meaning of ego, meditative enquiry, moving away from pain, othering, overwhelming anxiety, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, panic, person centred counselling exeter, personal process, presence, process, projective identification, rage, restlessness, returning home, sadness, self abandonment, self aggression, self blaming, self care, self compassion, self empathy, self enquiry, self love, self nurture, self shaming, shame, shaming, spirituality, splitting, vulnerability, warmth, what is ego, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yogic response | Leave a comment

What Taking Care of Yourself Really Means – Elizabeth Gilbert

Posted on August 29, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/Elizabeth-Gilbert-Practical-Ways-To-Practice-Self-Care?FB=fb_sss_gilbert_self_care Click on the link above for this vitally important and approachable piece by Liz Gilbert (‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and ‘Big Magic’) on how to make sense of the – so difficult for so many – idea of loving yourself:- … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embodiment, empathy, encounter, fear, healing, identity, kindness & compassion, love, Mary Oliver, metaphor & dream, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shame, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged abuse and trauma, abused, affordable counselling exeter, beyond fear, Big Magic, blame cycles, blame model, caring for yourself, Cole Porter, communicating affection, communicating love, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative living, dealing with abuse, dealing with trauma, desperation, edge of terror, effect of lack of love, Elizabeth Gilbert, engaging with agitation, experiencing loneliness, experiencing stress, expressing affection, expressing love, fear of abandonment, fear of being abandoned, fear of being hurt, fear of being left, fear of hurt, how do I love myself, how to love, inner animal, lack of love, Liz Gilbert, loving care, loving yourself, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, managing abuse, Mary Oliver, merely mammals, neglect, neglected animal, neuroses, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, playing, practicing self care, practising self care, raising self esteem, responding to agitation, responding to trauma, Self, self abandonment, self abuse, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self harm, self hatred, self love, self neglect, self stewardship, self-responsibility, shame and blame, shame cycles, showing affection, showing love, soft animal, taking care of your animal, taking care of yourself, tenderness, terror, trauma response, traumatisation, traumatization, traumatized animal, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

How To Create A Homemade New Year’s Ceremony – Elizabeth Gilbert

Posted on January 3, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The writer agrees with Liz, on the importance of ritual and ceremony, on its unhelpful neglect in our cultures, and on the ‘how’ of creating our own (arising from within, not imposed from without). Don’t be put off by missing … Continue reading →

Posted in consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, Elizabeth Gilbert, embodiment, empowerment, external locus, gratitude, grief, loneliness, loss, meaning, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, spirituality, surrender, transformation | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, alienation, asking for blessing, blessing, bringing in new energy, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, Elizabeth Gilbert, embodiment, existential meaning, feeling abandoned, feeling lost, finding peace, gratitude, gratitude practice, Great Mystery, holding sacred space, importance of ceremony, importance of ritual, inner liberation, inner peace, intention, intention as prayer, letting go, letting go of pain, letting go of the past, liberating yourself, liberation, living in the mystery, Liz Gilbert, low cost counselling exeter, making magic, making meaning, making sacred space, manifesting reality, new beginnings, new energies, new year, New Year resolutions, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, prayer, presence, sacred ritual, sacredness, second chances, self abandonment, shifting energies, surrender, transformation, use of ceremony, use of ritual, words as magic, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

My Name Is Anneke Lucas & I Was a Sex Slave to Europe’s Elite at Age 6

Posted on December 21, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://www.globalcitizen.org/content/anneke-lucass-harrowing-tale-of-sex-trafficking-am/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_content=global&utm_campaign=general-content&linkId=32537951 Click on the above link for this painful and harrowing – also wonderful – piece from Anneke. This piece is remarkable in so many ways: for the fact that a human being – a child – can survive such … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, actualizing tendency, autonomy, blaming, childhood abuse, civil rights, consent, core conditions, creativity, criminal justice model, cultural questions, cultural taboos, dependence, empathy, empowerment, ethics, Gender & culture, generational trauma, healing, identity, immanence, internal locus of evaluation, objectification, pornography, power and powerlessness, resilience, sadness & pain, sexual violence, shadow, shame, shaming, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged addiction to power, affordable counselling exeter, Anneke Lucas, autonomy, awareness, Belgian pedophile network, brokenness, carrying shame, child abuse, child rape, child sex abuse, child sexual abuse, childhood sexual abuse, collective darkness, collective shadow, compassion, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage to heal, CSD, de-identifying, Dutroux case, egoic damage, empathy, energetic body, expanding awareness, feeling broken, feeling loved, feeling seen, harnessing survival strength, healing damaged ego, healing journey, healing trauma, humanity, humiliating, humiliation, identifying with your experience, Kali, letting go, Liberation Prison Yoga, loving your abuser, low cost counselling exeter, Marc Dutroux, mindfulness, moments of clarity, needing attention, needing love, neglect, objectification, objectifying, oppression, orende, paedophile network, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, patriarchy, pedophile network, person centred counselling exeter, personal shadow, post traumatic growth, power addiction, presence, psychic wound, PTSD, recovering memory, recycling abuse, repressing memory, Seeds Beneath the Snow, self abandonment, self empowerment, self hatred, self healing, self worth, self-loathing, sex slave, shadow, shame, soul death, soul purpose, soul wound, speaking truth, suppressing memory, survival strength, survivors of incest, survivors of sex trafficking, survivors of sexual abuse, taking power, trauma work, trauma wound, trauma wounds, traumatic amnesia, traumatic stress, triggers, words of power, wounded feminine, wounded masculine, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Never Read the Comments – Liz Gilbert

Posted on June 2, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

” This feels personally relevant to the writer, who has her own experience of group attack, including via the internet, and (some) people’s willingness to make sweeping and vicious statements about other human beings they have never met, based on one … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, anger, autonomy, blaming, boundaries, bullying, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, empowerment, external locus, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, objectification, perception, political, power and powerlessness, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shaming, trauma, violence, vulnerability | Tagged abandoning self, abuse, acknowledgement, acknowledging, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, anticipation, anxiety, armouring, authenticity, awfulising, awfulizing, being of service, being seen, belonging, betrayal, blame and shame model, Brené Brown, Buber, Buber I It, bullying, bystander apathy, caring what others think, catastrophising, catastrophizing, civil rights, clarity of values, closing down, closing your heart, communication, comparing self with others, comparison with others, compassion, conditions of worth, connectedness, connection, consent, consent to publication, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creativity, critics don't count, cruelty, culture of humiliation, cyber-bullying, de-armouring, dealing with criticism, dealing with haters, dealing with uncertainty, disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embarrassment, empathy, ethic of service, ethics, exposure, facing judgement, fear, fear of humiliation, fear of unknown, feedback, freedom of expression, gainsayers, grief, grieving, handling criticism, handling uncertainty, harassment, Human Rights, humiliation, ideal self, innovation, inspiration, interconnectedness, interdependence, internet bullying, judgement, judgemental attitudes, Liz Gilbert, loneliness, loss, love and service, loving presence, low cost counselling exeter, meanness, minority influence, Monica Lewinsky, mortification, objectification, online bullying, online harassment, opening your heart, originality, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, personal history, personal shifts, presence, public humiliation, public shaming, publication without consent, realness, receiving feedback, recontextualising experience, recontextualizing experience, resilience, scarcity mindset, Self, self abandonment, self armouring, self blame, self concept, self critical, self criticism, self discipline, self doubt, self esteem, self judgement, self protection, self worth, self-structure, service, service of the work, shame, shaming, showing up, shutting down, snapchat, spiritual discipline, staying open, suicide, sweaty creative, TED, the man in the arena, the unknown, Theodore Roosevelt, transformation, trauma, trolling, trust, unkindness, upstander, upstanding, value system, valuing yourself, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Maria Popova on Self-Comparison & Cynicism

Posted on May 22, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

On the Soul-Sustaining Necessity of Resisting Self-Comparison and Fighting Cynicism: A Commencement Address This is great. Tu Maria. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling Exeter since 1994

Posted in accountability, autonomy, blaming, conditions of worth, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, diversity, external locus, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Maria Popova, meaning, power and powerlessness, presence, self, self concept, self esteem | Tagged abandoning yourself, actions and beliefs, affordable counselling exeter, Annenberg, belonging, connectedness, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural forms, experiential truth, goodwill, interconnection, life experience, low cost counselling exeter, Maria Popova, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal beliefs, personal values, personhood, pop culture, privilege, receptivity, relationship, self abandonment, self comparison, sincerity, soul, value of competition, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘What are you afraid of?’ Pema Chödrön

Posted on February 2, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Pema is a Buddhist nun, with a great deal of wisdom, who has written a number of accessible, helpful books – there’s a link below. In this brief clip, she invites us down through the layers of our fears, and speaks … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, cognitive, consciousness, Disconnection, emotions, empowerment, encounter, fear, human condition, identity, Pema Chödrön, perception, presence, risk, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, trust | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, alienation, core beliefs, core fears, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, disconnection, fear, Heart Advice, low cost counselling exeter, not liking yourself, not respecting yourself, not trusting yourself, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Pema Chödrön, person centred counselling exeter, self abandonment, self dislike, self distrust, self hate, self identity, self love, self suspicion, self-structure, shame, trust, When Things Fall Apart, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Brené Brown: Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count

Posted on November 25, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Another useful talk from Brené Brown, which explores creativity, criticism and how she has learned to deal with it. She talks about how important it is that those of us she calls the ‘sweaty creatives’ – or, borrowing from Theodore Roosevelt’s famous words, … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, blaming, Brene Brown, bullying, communication, conditions of worth, creativity, cultural questions, emotions, empathy, empowerment, fear, grief, growth, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, non-conforming, power and powerlessness, presence, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, values & principles, vulnerability | Tagged 99U, abandoning self, acknowledgement, acknowledging, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, anticipation, anxiety, armouring, authenticity, awfulising, awfulizing, being seen, belonging, Brené Brown, caring what others think, catastrophising, catastrophizing, clarity of values, closing down, closing your heart, comparing self with others, comparison with others, conditions of worth, connectedness, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creativity, cruelty, de-armouring, dealing with criticism, dealing with uncertainty, disconnection, empathy, exposure, facing judgement, fear, fear of humiliation, fear of unknown, feedback, gainsayers, Get REAL, grief, grieving, handling criticism, handling uncertainty, humiliation, ideal self, innovation, inspiration, interconnectedness, interdependence, judgemental attitudes, love and service, loving presence, low cost counselling exeter, meanness, opening your heart, originality, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal history, personal shifts, presence, realness, receiving feedback, scarcity mindset, self abandonment, self armouring, self blame, self concept, self critical, self criticism, self doubt, self esteem, self judgement, self protection, self worth, self-structure, service, service of the work, shame, shaming, showing up, shutting down, staying open, sweaty creative, TED, the man in the arena, the unknown, Theodore Roosevelt, trust, unkindness, value system, valuing yourself, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | 1 Comment

Self Portrait – David Whyte

Posted on October 26, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Just beautiful. Thank you to our John Clapham for bringing this to the writer’s attention. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994

Posted in awakening, beauty, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, David Whyte, dying, emotions, encounter, human condition, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, loss, love, meaning, perception, poetry, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, self, spirituality, surrender, vulnerability | Tagged abandoning self, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, awakening, belonging, connectedness, connection, consciousness, core essence, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, David Whyte, desire, encounter, existential meaning, grounding, human longing, interconnection, interdependence, longing, low cost counselling exeter, mortal longing, mortality, need to belong, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, presence, relationship, River Flow, sacredness, Self, self abandonment, Self Portrait, sense of the divine, soul, soul awakening, spirituality, transience, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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