Tag Archives: disapproval

Guante ‘Ten Responses to the Phrase ‘Man up”

Posted on December 6, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link above for Guante’s performance of his work on Button Poetry’s Facebook page. Aho. ‘Man up’ belongs in the ‘just don’t say it’ category…. Thanks, Guante, and also to Button Poetry and Angie Buchanan for posting this on Facebook … Continue reading →

Posted in communication, cultural questions, cultural taboos, Disconnection, diversity, emotions, empathy, empowerment, ethics, feminine, Gender & culture, growing up, healing, identity, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, masculine, non-conforming, objectification, paradigm shift, parenting, perception, political, power and powerlessness, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, sexual being, sexual orientation, sexual violence, shadow, shame, shaming, vulnerability | Tagged activism, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, antisocial behaviour, approval, authority, autonomy, belittling, belonging, binary, blame, body image, bullying, Button Poetry, challenge, child development, claiming personal power, coercive conformity, coercive culture, community, compassion, competition, conditions of worth for boys, conditions of worth for men, conforming, conformity, confrontation, connectedness, conscious living, consciousness, contempt, controlling behaviour, controlling culture, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, cultural difference, cultural distortion, cultural diversity, culture of coercion, culture of control, culture of shame, cycles of shame, defensive, demonising maleness, demonising masculinity, demonizing maleness, demonizing masculinity, desensitization, destructive behaviour, developmental process, developmental trauma, disapproval, disconnection, discrimination, discrimination against men, displaced expression, distorted developmental process, distortions of masculine power, diversity, division, domination, educating boys, education, emotional awareness, emotional connection, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence in men, emotions, empathy, empathy in boys, empathy in men, empowerment, essence of the masculine, exclusion, external authority, external locus, fear, gender, gender and culture, gender and emotion, gender bias, gender discrimination, gender prejudice, Guante, humiliation, individuated man, individuation, inner truth, inner voice, internal dialogue, internalised values, internalized values, introjections, judgement, kindness, Kyle Tran Myhre, loneliness, loss, low cost counselling exeter, man up, masculine, masculine energies, masculine intuition, masculine norms, masculine nurture, masculinity, men and emotion, misuse of power, non-conforming, nurture in men, objectification, oppression, oppressor, ostracism, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, parenting, pathologising maleness, pathologising masculinity, pathologizing maleness, pathologizing masculinity, patriarchal behaviour, patriarchal culture, patriarchy, permission, person centred counselling exeter, personal discovery, personal journey, personal power, personal work, personhood, poetry as activism, political, projection, projective identification, projective reality, public shaming, punishment, punishment for not conforming, reclaiming the masculine, relationship, repression, ridicule, sacred feminine, sacred masculine, self concept, self distortion, self sufficiency, self suppression, self-structure, sensitivity, sensitivity as strength, separation, sexual diversity, sexual shaming, sexualisation of the masculine, sexualization of the masculine, shadow, shame, shaming, shaming as bloodsport, shaming men, shaming of maleness, social isolation, social pressure, stigma, stigmatising, stigmatizing, stoicism, subjective experience, suppression, unconscious behaviour, vulnerability, vulnerability as strength, wounded feminine, wounded masculine, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘The Death Mother’ Toko-pa

Posted on May 11, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The Death Mother Click on the link for this interesting and profound book review from Toko-pa – containing several useful links – on the archetype and meanings of the Death Mother:- ‘If you were the child of a mother crippled by her own … Continue reading →

Posted in body psychotherapy, child development, childhood abuse, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, dying, Eating, embodiment, emotions, fear, growth, healing, identity, loneliness, metaphor & dream, perception, physical being, power and powerlessness, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, sleep, suicide, Toko-pa, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged abandoning ourselves, abandoning yourself, abandonment, aliveness, ambiguity, archetype, assertion, authentic experience, authentic feelings, authenticity, auto-immune diseases, awareness, beauty, being unseen, belittling of the feminine, belonging, Bud Harris, child development, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, collapse, confusion, consciousness, cultural collective, cultural shadow, cultural wound, cultural wounding, Daniela Sieff, death, Death Mother, denigration, depression, devaluation, devaluation of feminine, disapproval, disconnection, disconnection from body, disembodied, disembodiment, dreaming, dreams, dreams and metaphor, dreamwork, earth mother, eating disorders, emotional heritage, emotional paralysis, emotional trauma, engaging with our dreams, expression, fear and overwhelm, fear of abandonment, fear of masculine, fear of men, feminine fear, feminine mistrust, feminine values, feminine wound, finding your voice, grief, grief process, grieving process, growth, healing trauma, inertia, inner valuation, internalised belief, Into the Heart of the Feminine, invalidation, Jungian analysis, longing for death, longing for oblivion, low self esteem, Marion Woodman, Massimilla Harris, Medusa myth, motherhood, mothering, myth, myth and symbol, needing support, order from chaos, out of awareness, overwhelm, overwhelming, paradox, paralysing energy, paralysis, personal shadow, physical expressions of loss of inner valuation, psyche, rejection, repulsion, sacred feminine, Self, self care, self concept, self harm, self neglect, self-abdication, self-structure, shadow, something is wrong with me, suicide, symbolic life, symbolism, Toko-pa, transformation, triggers, trusting yourself, Understanding and Healing Emotional Trauma, unwanted aspects of self, unworthiness, women, wounded psyche, yin | Leave a comment

Reclaiming Sweet Freedom – 23 things that we need not explain justify or defend – Isabel Abbott

Posted on September 22, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/09/reclaiming-sweet-freedom-23-things-that-we-need-not-explain-justify-or-defend/ Just gorgeous. This is written from the woman’s perspective, and the writer wants to expand it to include all of us (with any tweaks required to find the right fit for you). It’s wonderful, profound, poetic and important. Thanks, … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, beauty, blaming, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, dependence, diversity, Eating, Elephant Journal, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, fear, feminine, flow, Gender & culture, grief, growth, guilt, healing, human condition, humour, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, loss, love, meaning, mindfulness, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, paradigm shift, parenting, perception, person centred, physical being, political, power and powerlessness, pregnancy, presence, reality, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self esteem, sexual being, sexual orientation, shadow, shame, shaming, surrender, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged absence, accusation, affordable counselling exeter, Aftermath, apologising, apologizing, approval, art, authenticity, autonomy, awakening, becoming, belonging, boundaries, censoring, change, changing your mind, choice, comfort, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conforming, conformity, connection, control, conviction, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, defending yourself, dependency, desire, disappointment, disapproval, discomfort, distortion, divorce, ecstasy, Elephant Journal, embodied being, embodiment, emotional abuse, emotions, ethics, experiential truth, explaining yourself, falling in love, fear, fear of being misunderstood, fear of food, feelings, feminism, freedom, gas lighting, gender, getting needs met, grief, growth, human needs, impulse, inexplicable sadness, inner work, integration, interconnection, interdependence, intimacy, invasive behaviour, Isabel Abbott, joy, judgement, judgment, learning, longing, loss, loss of self, love, loving ourselves, low cost counselling exeter, marriage, mindfulness, misunderstanding, need for reassurance, non-conforming, not knowing, obsession with food, oppression, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, perception, permission, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal work, personhood, presence, purging poison, rationalising, rationalizing, reality, reassurance, reclaiming self, regret, relationship, restlessness, right to be you, right to exist, sadness, saying no, self acceptance, self care, self defence, self doubt, self expression, self justification, self liberation, self realisation, self realization, sexual being, sexual love, sexuality, shadow, shame, shared narratives, social approval, story, surrender, terror, transformation, trauma, trust, trusting ourselves, truth, uncertainty, verbal abuse, vulnerability, wanting, witnessing, writing, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

When Children Lie – Patty Wipfler – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on August 26, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/when-children-lie/ This is a helpful site, and a helpful article, if you are looking to find effective ways to parent outside the culturally prevalent models of fault, blame and punishment. In the writer’s experience, most parents deeply want what is … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, accountability, anger, blaming, child development, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, family systems, fear, generational trauma, growing up, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, parenting, power and powerlessness, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, teaching, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, anger, blame, boundaries, boundaries in parenting, closeness, coercive parenting, coercive relationship, cold shoulder, competition, competitiveness, conditions of worth, conscious parenting, consequences, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dealing with tantrums, dependence, disapproval, discipline in parenting, disconnection, effect of competition on children, effect of competition on self esteem, emotional safety, emotional truths, empathy, excluding, exclusion, experimentation in parenting, external locus, fear, handling tantrums, hope, humiliating, humiliation, intimacy, judgemental parenting, learning in parenting, love, low cost counselling exeter, lying in children, meeting needs indirectly, motivation, my child lies, need for approval, need for attention, need for love, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Patty Wipfler, perceived threat, person centered parenting, person centred counselling exeter, person centred parenting, person-centered, person-centred, positive attention, power imbalance, punishing, punishment, punishment as control, relational withdrawal, responsibility, safety, saying no, security, self concept, self esteem in children, shame, shaming, social lies, standards of truth, stay listening, staylistening, tantrums, threat, toxic culture, toxic shame, trust, truth telling, understanding, undivided attention, when children lie, withdrawal, www.handinhandparenting.org, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

How America’s Culture of Shame is a Killer for Boys – Mark Greene

Posted on April 28, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/megasahd-why-americas-culture-of-shame-is-killing-us/ This article by Mark is wonderful, and the writer was crying before the end…Although the title gives a masculine focus, the points made are valid for us all, however we self describe/make sense of gender. This is the second … Continue reading →

Posted in bullying, conditions of worth, cultural questions, emotions, empathy, fear, growing up, identity, kindness & compassion, Mark Greene, Monica Lewinsky, paradigm shift, parenting, political, power and powerlessness, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, TED, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alcohol abuse, alcoholism, alienation, antisocial behaviour, approval, authority, binary, body image, bullying, child development, Child Trends Data Bank, childhood trauma, coercive conformity, compassion, conformity, conscious parenting, contempt, corporal punishment, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cruelty, cultural difference, cultural diversity, culture of shame, cycles of shame, defensive, delinquency, depression, despair, disapproval, diversity, divorce, drug abuse, external locus, fear, good enough, grief, humiliation, internal dialogue, internalised values, internalized values, introjections, kindness, listening, loss, low cost counselling exeter, Mark Greene, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, permission, person centred counselling exeter, personhood, political, problem behaviours in adolescence, psychological problems, public shaming, punishment, relationship, religious difference, Saliha Bava, self condemnation, self preservation, self-destructive behaviour, self-fulfilling prophesy, self-loathing, selfish, sexual diversity, sexual shaming, shame, shaming as bloodsport, spanking, spanking as shaming, www.goodmenproject.com, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment