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Tag Archives: attachment
Matt Licata on Ego
‘Ego’ for many of us becomes a term of abuse for self/other and source of shame. Here’s a radically different and far more accurate/useful take on this…. Thanks, Matt. Here’s the text for those who have difficulty seeing Facebook links:- … Continue reading →
Posted in blaming, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, encounter, human condition, identity, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, meaning, meditation, organismic experiencing, perception, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shame, shaming, spirituality, vulnerability
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Tagged 'eating disorder', abandoning experience, addictive behavior, addictive behaviour, addictive eating, affordable counselling exeter, anxious avoidant attachment, aroused nervous system, attachment, attachment figures, attuning to experience, avoiding feeling, avoiding pain, avoiding suffering, blaming, claustrophobia, coming home to yourself, compassionate response, compensatory behavior, compensatory behaviour, complaining, compulsive eating, conceptual spirituality, conscious awareness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, critical thoughts, cycle of abandonment, denying experience, denying feelings, denying pain, denying reality, disembodied, disembodiment, disordered eating, dissociation, doorway into wholeness, ego, ego as process, embodied response, embodied vulnerability, emotional suffering, empathy, escaping vulnerability, existential meaning, experience distant, experiencing ego, experiential, experiential learning, feeling unsafe, Great Mystery, heartbreak, heavy heart, humanness, invitation into presence, kind curiosity, kindness to self, limbic fight flight, longing, low cost counselling exeter, managing anxiety, Matt Licata, meaning of ego, meditative enquiry, moving away from pain, othering, overwhelming anxiety, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, panic, person centred counselling exeter, personal process, presence, process, projective identification, rage, restlessness, returning home, sadness, self abandonment, self aggression, self blaming, self care, self compassion, self empathy, self enquiry, self love, self nurture, self shaming, shame, shaming, spirituality, splitting, vulnerability, warmth, what is ego, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yogic response
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Pema Chodron on Relaxing with impermanence (on her 80th birthday)
Click on the link to see this little film of Pema at 80, speaking about the fear of death and how we may learn to approach our dying. ‘When the appearances of this life dissolve, may I with ease and … Continue reading →
Posted in Chogyam Trungpa, consciousness, cultural questions, dying, emotions, fear, human condition, loss, meditation, Pema Chödrön, perception, physical being, power and powerlessness, resilience, self, spirituality, surrender, transformation, vulnerability
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Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aging, aliveness, attachment, being with fear, being with panic, brevity of life, Chogyam Trungpa, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, death and rebirth, dramas of life, embracing impermanence, embracing transience, facing change, fear of aging, fear of change, fear of death, fear of groundlessness, fearing death, feeling terror, gratitude, groundlessness, impermanence, life review, low cost counselling exeter, mortality, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Pema Chödrön, person centred counselling exeter, preparing for death, reincarnation, resilience, returning home, spirituality, surrender, terror, transformation, transience, valuing life, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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Matt Licata on not allowing ‘spirituality’ to shame our needs
This is so important. The blame and shame model is always toxic, whether the more traditional style, or clad in New Age robes. We all feel, and we all need – it’s integral to the human experience. The helpful response is … Continue reading →
Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, blaming, bullying, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, growth, human condition, immanence, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, presence, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, spirituality, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, touch, vulnerability
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Tagged affection, affordable counselling exeter, aggression, aggression of blame, attachment, attunement, being met, being seen, beloved, blame, blaming, caregivers, commitment to self, compassion, completeness, conditional love, conditions of worth, connection, contact, core beliefs, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, dependence, despair, disappointment, Elizabeth Gadd Photography, embodied experience, empathic connection, empathic failure, empathy, encounter, energy, enlightenment, expressing needs, failure of empathy, faith, family of origin, getting needs met in relationship, growth, having needs, hopelessness, human limitations, human needs, invalidation, kindness, lack of validation, Lizzy Gadd, longing, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, low vibration, manifestation, manifesting, Matt Licata, misunderstanding, need for affection, need for contact, need for love, need for touch, need to be heard, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, neediness, New Age, new age fundamentalism, no self, not good enough, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, presence, relational animal, relational mammal, relationship, risk, self blame, self care, self compassion, self concept, self esteem, self expression, self judgement, self judgment, self perception, self worth, self-responsibility, self-structure, separation, shame, shaming, spiritual aggression, spiritual growth, spirituality, suppressing need, suppressing self expression, transcendence, trust, unlived life, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, wholeness, withdrawal, witnessing, worth as a person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yearning
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‘5 Signs You’re on the Hero’s Journey’ Alison Nappi
http://www.writewithspirit.com/blog/5-signs-youre-on-the-heros-journey Yesterday’s post included a Joseph Campbell reference, and today we remain with the themes of the hero’s journey, and the importance of mythology in our quest for meaning. Laurie Penny and Alison Nappi have written very different pieces around these themes … Continue reading →
Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, empowerment, encounter, fear, flow, generational trauma, good, grief, growth, healing, human condition, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, paradigm shift, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, resilience, rewilding, risk, sadness & pain, self, self concept, spirituality, surrender, therapeutic growth, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability, wonder
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Tagged ability, abyss, actualising, actualizing, adventure, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, Alison Nappi, aliveness, Anais Nin, ancestral pain, ancestral trauma, appearances, armouring, attachment, authenticity, awakening, awareness, Barbara Marciniak, being broken, being lost, being ready, being rebuilt, being unprepared, belief, bestowing boons, boundaries of worlds, brokenness, calling, changing your frame of reference, coercion, collective insanity, comfort zone, comfortable feeling, coming home, compassion, conforming, conformity, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, craziness, creativity, cultural coercion, darkness, death and rebirth, deceit, defences, denying the call, despair, destiny, deviation from norms, difficult feeling, dignity, disintegration, divine will, divinity, Dr Who, dreams, dreamscape, DSM, eccentricity, ecstasy, edges of life, ego death, egoic death, embodiment, emptiness, encounter, escape, eternal self, eternity, ethic of service, existential meaning, failure, faith, falling, false self, fate, fear, feeling broken, feeling empty, feeling lost, finding your purpose, finding yourself, form, formlessness, frame of reference, freedom, Gaia, gifts, giving away our power, giving up, Great Mother, greatness, grief, healing, hero’s journey, hollowness, homecoming, hopelessness, human condition, human dignity, humanity, identity, illusion, imago, immanence, inability, inner sight, Joseph Campbell, Karma, leaping into the void, legend, light of being, limitations, loss, lostness, love, low cost counselling exeter, magic, makers of legend, manifestation, manifesting reality, Mary Oliver, meaning of life, meaninglessness, medicalisation of distress, medicalization of distress, mental illness model, metamorphosis, metaphor, monsters, mysterious adventure, mythology, newness, non conformity, non-conforming, not emotionally ready, not knowing, oppression, Oprah Winfrey, organismic, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, past lives, pay attention, perception, permissible deviation, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, personal power, potential, preparedness, presence, punching the clock, purpose, quest for meaning, questioning reality, Rainer Maria Rilke, readiness, reality, realness, rebirth, reclaiming power, redemption, refusing the call, reincarnation, responsibility, Rilke, Rumi, sacredness, search for meaning, Self, self concept, self confidence, self limitation, self protection, self-structure, separation, social coercion, social contract, soul, soul contract, soul purpose, spirituality, standing at the crossroads, stories, storytelling, success, surrender, tameness, the call, The Matrix, the Mother, thought crime, total loss, transcending limitations, transformation, trauma, treasure, true self, trust, uncomfortable feeling, unknowing, value of life, vision, visioning, vocation, wildness, will, willingness, without will, wonder, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, your call
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The Ecology of Language – Abbie Simmonds
http://dark-mountain.net/blog/the-ecology-of-language/ Fascinating piece by Abbie, about the ways in which language holds and shapes (or can limit/reduce) meaning, personally, collectively, spiritually – and has the power to connect us with our embodied experiencing and with the land. She quotes Wade Davis:- … Continue reading →
Posted in awakening, beauty, cognitive, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, congruence, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, ecological, ecological issues, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, ethics, external locus, family systems, flow, gratitude, grief, growing up, growth, healing, human condition, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, mindfulness, natural world, objectification, organismic experiencing, perception, physical being, poetry, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, spirituality, surrender, sustainability, transformation, trust, vulnerability, wonder
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Tagged Abbie Simmonds, abundance, abuse, affordable counselling exeter, aggression, alchemy, alchemy of poetry, alienation, anger, attachment, bereavement, birth, Buddhism, Buddhist spirituality, change, commodification, communication, communication tools, conditions of worth, confusion, connection to the environment, connection with earth, connection with land, consumerism, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, cultural history, Dark Mountain, dehumanising, dehumanizing, ecology of language, ecosystem, emotional attachment, empathy, encounter, existential meaning, exploitation, expressing experience, external experience, extreme emotional states, extreme experience, familial history, family history, folklore, forest of the mind, fragmentation, frustration, Gaia, Gilbert Highet, grace, gratitude, grief, grieving, growth, human spirit, I create as I speak, impoverishment of language, In the beginning was the word, internal experience, labeling, labelling, language and history, language and meaning, language and reality, language as a dynamic force, language as alive, language of soul, lexicon of the natural world, living language, logos, longing, loss, love, loving the land, low cost counselling exeter, manipulation by advertising, Martin Shaw, metamorphosis, monoculture language, mortality, mythology, naming experience, narrative, objectifying, over simplification, pain of loss, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, personal history, personal meaning, plant medicine, poetry, power of language, presence, psychiatric, psychiatric labelling, rage, reality, reality perception, relationship ending, replenishment, right speech, Robert Macfarlane, scapegoating, School of Myth, secret names, Self, self concept, self expression, separation, shamanic mythology, spirituality, story, surrender, symbolising, symbolizing, transformation, transience, tribal history, understanding, Wade Davis, word hoard, word wood, words and history, words and meaning, words and power, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yearning
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‘Like a silkworm weaving’ Akka Mahadevi – the eclipse, shadow & growth by Ivan Granger
http://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/blog/2015/09/30/akka-mahadevi-like-a-silkworm-weaving/ Beautiful poem by Akka Mahadevi, and profound and beautifully expressed reflections by Ivan in the wake of September’s lunar eclipse. Here’s a taste:- ‘The thing about the dark parts of life and the dark parts of our own psyches … Continue reading →
Posted in 'evil', acceptance, awakening, cognitive, compassion, compulsive behaviour, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, dependence, Disconnection, dying, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, fear, growth, healing, human condition, identity, immanence, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, natural world, organismic experiencing, perception, poetry, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shadow, shame, spirituality, surrender, vulnerability
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Tagged 'evil', A K Ramanujan, abandoned self, acting out, acting out shadow, actualising, actualizing, addiction, addiction and spirituality, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, Akka Mahadevi, attachment, attention, authenticity, awareness, becoming, being, celestial event of note, claustrophobia, compassion, compassionate awareness, complete self, complexity of self, compulsive actions, compulsive behaviour, condemnation, confrontation with self, congruence, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, dark parts of life, death, desire, desperation, difficult experience, difficult feeling, diminishing, discarded self, disowning the shadow, divided self, divided sense of self, dying, eclipse, ego, ego mind, encounter with death, energetic process, exiled parts of ourselves, existential meaning, exteriorized self, externalizing self, fear, fragmentation, frightening, greed, heart centre, ideologues, ideology, inner growth, integrating self, integrating shadow, integration, interior space, Ivan Granger, judgment, letting go, Like a silkworm weaving, listening to ourselves, lost self, low cost counselling exeter, mask slips, metamorphosis, mortality, navel gazing, out of awareness, outward experience, overcoming addiction, owning the shadow, pain, painful, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perfection, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, Poetry Chaikhana, problem of desire, process distortion, psychic addiction, sadness, scapegoating, self awareness, self compassion, self concept, self condemnation, self encounter, self judgment, self-structure, sense of self, sensory experience, separation, severance, sexual prudery, shadow, shadows in life, shame, Speaking of Siva, spiritual awakening, spiritual centre, spiritual core, spiritual energies, spiritual growth, spiritual meaning, spiritual opening, spiritual path, spiritual process, spirituality, spontaneity, substance abuse, suffering, surface awareness, surrender, terror, transcendence, transformation, transient experience, trauma, traumatic experience, uncomfortable experience, uncomfortable feeling, unconscious beliefs, unresolved pain, unresolved trauma, vulnerability, what is hidden, wholeness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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David Whyte on Heartbreak
‘…heartbreak is not a visitation, but a path that human beings follow through even the most average life…’ Beautiful, moving, elegiac reflections from David on the meaning and hidden treasures of heartbreak. The writer believes we have an unhelpful cultural tendency … Continue reading →
Posted in acceptance, awakening, beauty, Brene Brown, congruence, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, David Whyte, dependence, Disconnection, dying, embodiment, emotions, empathy, equality, gratitude, grief, growth, human condition, interconnection & belonging, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, organismic experiencing, perception, poetry, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, self, spirituality, vulnerability
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Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, attachment, avoiding pain, awakening, becoming, becoming a person, belonging, bereavement, Brené Brown, connectedness, connection, consciousness, Consolations, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, David Whyte, death, Death of a Child, dying, elemental forces, essence of being human, evanescence, generosity, grief, heartbreak, human condition, human needs, inevitability of heartbreak, interconnection, interdependence, language, learning, letting go, living, loss, loss of a child, lost dream, love, love relationship, low cost counselling exeter, making friends with grief, making friends with heartbreak, maturing, maturity, metaphor, mortality, need, nourishment, pain of living, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, patience, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, personal journey, personal process, poetry, powerlessness, relationship, seeking to avoid pain, Self, shattered dream, sincerity, solace, spirituality, TED, transcendence, transience, underlying meaning, unrequited love, vocation, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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Neurons to Nirvana: Gabor Maté Interview
A wide-ranging collection of excerpts from an interview with Gabor Maté, covering addiction, ayahuasca, past experience, transitional states, Western medicine and the mind/body division, and much more besides. As always, he is very watchable and he talks sense. Well worth … Continue reading →
Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, anger, anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, blaming, child development, childhood abuse, cognitive, communication, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, dying, ecological, ecological issues, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, ethics, external locus, fear, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, grief, growing up, healing, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, medical model, mindfulness, natural world, neuroscience, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, paradigm shift, parenting, perception, person centred, physical being, political, power and powerlessness, presence, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, spirituality, surrender, sustainability, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trauma, trust, values & principles, violence, vulnerability
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Tagged addiction, addiction as slavery, addiction to profit, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, alienation at work, alienation from natural world, alienation from self, alienation in relationship, alienation in society, altered consciousness, anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, arrogance, attachment, authenticity, autonomy, awareness, Ayahuasca, belonging, bio psychosocial model, bio psychosocial perspective, biomedical model, Bruce Alexander, capitalism, ceremony, certainty, child development, choice, clarity, climate change, community, competition, connection, conscious, consumer society, consumerism, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, cultural toxicity, cultural toxicity and health, death, death as transition, denial, depression, disconnection, dislocation, distortion, distress, dying, ego, egoic mind, empathy, enlightenment, environmental stressors, Exeter Counselling, existential meaning, expanding choice, expanding freedom, expectation, false meaning, First Nations, forming intention, freedom, Gabor Mate, Gaia, Globalisation of Addiction, grace, healing the past, human arrogance, humility, impulse regulation, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, indigenous cultures, individualism, individuality, inner work, intention, interconnectedness, interconnection, interdependence, interdependent core, intimacy, intuition, loss of control, loss of meaning, low cost counselling exeter, manifestation, materialism, meaning of addiction, meaninglessness, medical model, medicine as ideology, meeting emotional need, mental health, mindfulness, moving between states, neuroscience, not knowing, nurture, opening the heart, openness, orende, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal responsibility, plant medicine, plants as teachers, prayer, presence, psychedelic drugs, Psychosis, purging, receptivity, relationship, release, resistance, sacredness, sacrifice, scientific model, self awareness, self concept, self medication, self regulation, self soothing, separation, separation of mind and body, social context of addiction, social coping mechanisms, social isolation, social isolation and health, societal responsibility, socio-economic disadvantage, soul, spiritual teachers, spirituality, stewardship, stress and health, substitutes for meaning, surrender, teacher plants, therapeutic effect of community, therapeutic effect of relationship, Tibetan Buddhism, toxic culture, toxic stress, transience, transition, transitional states, trauma, traumatised populations, uncertainty, unconditional love, unconscious, UPR, web of life, western culture, Western individuality, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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The Boy in the Closet — How I Lost my Best Friend to a Label by Margaret Altman
http://www.madinamerica.com/2015/08/the-boy-in-the-closet-how-i-lost-my-best-friend-to-a-label/ ‘Diagnoses such as schizophrenia mask all of the strengths, feelings and talents that individuals possess, The labels can make people’s behavior appear aggressive, when in fact they are terrified. On the other hand, people in extreme states respond as all humans do to an approach … Continue reading →
Posted in abuse, anger, anti-psychotics, blaming, childhood abuse, civil rights, communication, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, congruence, consent, core conditions, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, DSM, emotions, empathy, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, family systems, fear, friendship, growing up, healing, hearing voices, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, love, Mad in America, Margaret Altman, meaning, non-conforming, objectification, Palace Gate Counselling Service, paradigm shift, perception, person centred, physical being, political, power and powerlessness, psychiatric abuse, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, psychosis, relationship, research evidence, sadness & pain, scapegoating, schizophrenia, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trauma, trust, values & principles, violence, vulnerability, working with clients
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Tagged abuse, adverse childhood events, adverse outcomes in schizophrenia, affordable counselling exeter, aggression, aggressive behaviour, alienation, anger, anti-psychotic drugs, attachment, belonging, Big Pharma, bonding, boy in the closet, childhood abuse, childhood neglect, childhood schizophrenia, childhood trauma, civil rights, clinical social work, coercive psychiatric treatment, communication, compassion, compliance, conformity, confrontation, connectedness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, Creedmore, criminal justice system, criminalizing human distress, criminalizing human suffering, cultural issues, diagnosis and disorder model, disappointment, disconnection, discrimination, disgrace, disgust, embarrassment, emotional abuse, emotional distress, emotional isolation, fear, fear and rage, forced psychiatric treatment, friendship, harm to self or others, healing, Human Rights, human suffering, humiliation, interconnectedness, interconnection, interdependence, isolation, life experiences, love, low cost counselling exeter, Mad in America, Margaret Altman, medicalisation of distress, medicalising distress, medicalization of distress, medicalizing distress, medicating children, Mellaril, mental health, mental health labels, mentally ill, narratives in psychology, narratives in psychotherapy, Navane, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paranoia, paranoid schizophrenia, parental expectation, pediatric psychiatry, pediatric schizophrenia, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personality change, physical abuse, play therapy, psychiatric hospitalization, psychiatric labels, psychiatric model, Psychiatry, psychological isolation, rage, relationship, safety, safety in therapy, schizophrenia, self defence, self protection, shame, shaming, social isolation, stigmatization, terror, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, Thorazine, toxic shame, trauma, traumatic experiences, trust in relationship, trust in therapy, Voiceless in America, vulnerability, withdrawal, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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Adyashanti & Toko-Pa on Ancestral Pain & Healing
http://beyondmeds.com/2014/12/15/ancestral-healing-2/ Click on the link to visit Monica Cassani’s wonderful, resource-rich site for this helpful post. We too like Toko-Pa’s blog, and have previously linked to this piece on ‘Ancestral Healing’ and quite a few others. The Adyashanti passage feels … Continue reading →
Posted in anger, child development, communication, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, Disconnection, empowerment, family systems, fear, generational trauma, growing up, healing, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, Jung, Monica Cassani, parenting, person centred theory, relationship, sadness & pain, shadow, therapeutic growth, Toko-pa, transformation, trauma
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Tagged Adyashanti, affordable counselling exeter, ancestral healing, anger, attachment, breaking the chain, breaking the pattern, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, depression, Falling into Grace, family patterns, family systems, generational pain, generational suffering, healing, Jung, Krishnamurti, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, participation mystique, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, self concept, therapeutic growth, Toko-pa, www.beyondmeds.com, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk
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