Tag Archives: blame model

Marshall Rosenberg on criticism of self/other

Posted on November 1, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, “‘What will they think of me?’ must be put aside for bliss.” … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, blaming, compassion, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, Joseph Campbell, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, objectification, perception, relationship, unconditional positive regard | Tagged acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, blame model, blaming, bliss, compassion, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dehumanising, dehumanizing, derogatory, empathy, ethic of service, expressions of trauma, fault and blame, Joseph Campbell, judging others, low cost counselling exeter, Marshall Rosenberg, opportunities to give, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, punitive, self judgement, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

What Taking Care of Yourself Really Means – Elizabeth Gilbert

Posted on August 29, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/Elizabeth-Gilbert-Practical-Ways-To-Practice-Self-Care?FB=fb_sss_gilbert_self_care Click on the link above for this vitally important and approachable piece by Liz Gilbert (‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and ‘Big Magic’) on how to make sense of the – so difficult for so many – idea of loving yourself:- … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embodiment, empathy, encounter, fear, healing, identity, kindness & compassion, love, Mary Oliver, metaphor & dream, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shame, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged abuse and trauma, abused, affordable counselling exeter, beyond fear, Big Magic, blame cycles, blame model, caring for yourself, Cole Porter, communicating affection, communicating love, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative living, dealing with abuse, dealing with trauma, desperation, edge of terror, effect of lack of love, Elizabeth Gilbert, engaging with agitation, experiencing loneliness, experiencing stress, expressing affection, expressing love, fear of abandonment, fear of being abandoned, fear of being hurt, fear of being left, fear of hurt, how do I love myself, how to love, inner animal, lack of love, Liz Gilbert, loving care, loving yourself, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, managing abuse, Mary Oliver, merely mammals, neglect, neglected animal, neuroses, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, playing, practicing self care, practising self care, raising self esteem, responding to agitation, responding to trauma, Self, self abandonment, self abuse, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self harm, self hatred, self love, self neglect, self stewardship, self-responsibility, shame and blame, shame cycles, showing affection, showing love, soft animal, taking care of your animal, taking care of yourself, tenderness, terror, trauma response, traumatisation, traumatization, traumatized animal, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The Election: Of Hate, Grief, and a New Story – Charles Eisenstein

Posted on November 14, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The Election: Of Hate, Grief, and a New Story Click on the link to visit Charles’ website and read this essay. In the writer’s view, Charles is one of the visionaries and big thinkers of our time, because he speaks … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, anger, awakening, blaming, Charles Eisenstein, civil rights, compassion, conflict, congruence, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, ecological, ecological issues, empathy, empowerment, ethics, fear, grief, healing, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, non-conforming, paradigm shift, political, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, shadow, transformation, trauma, violence | Tagged Abhi Ryan, acting out hate, acute trauma, addiction, affordable counselling exeter, age of possibility, alienation, all in this together, alternative, animating force, assigning fault, authenticity, backlash, belittling, bigotry, blame model, blame narrative, blame the racists, blaming, broken society, broken system, brokenness, call of hate, call to action, caricatures of evil, Charles Eisenstein, childhood freedom, civil disobedience, civil disorder, climate change, closing overseas military bases, collapse of containing systems, collapse of dominant institutions, compassion, compassionate inquiry, concentration camps, connection with nature, consciousness shift, constructed reality, containing systems, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative engagement, criminal punishment, cultural collapse, cultural constructs, cultural deterioration, cultural institutions, cultural self harm, culture defining story, custodians of the story, cynicism, DAPL, dark side, deep community, deep state, dehumanising, dehumanization, dehumanizing, dehumanizing ideology, deplorables, depression, derision, disconnection, disintegration, displaced anger, disputing the blame narrative, dissolution of old order, Donald Trump, Donald Trump’s appeal, dying paradigm, dying story, ecocidal system, ecocide, ecological crisis, ecological deterioration, economic crisis, elite policy consensus, empathy, empowering, empowerment, engagement, entrenched systems, environmental crisis, environmental deterioration, environmental harm, essence of racism, evangelizing compassion, existential meaning, false progress, faux progressive feminism, fragmentation, free trade ideology, global finance capital, good evil demarcation, growth imperative, hate and blame, hate and pain, hate as bodyguard for grief, hate vortex, holistic, human degradation, identifying fault, imperative of growth, imperative of progress, imperial wars, injustice, intensifying disorder, interbeing, intimate connection with nature, Islamophobia, Kelly Brogan, kingdom of childhood, labelling, lashing out, letting go of illusions, LGBTQ rights, liberal media, living in a bubble, lost normality, love and fear, low cost counselling exeter, making meaning, marginal practices, marginal structures, meditation, military confrontation, military industrial complex, mirror image, misogyny, motivating emotions, neocon, neoliberal economics, new paradigm, new story, normality, nuclear weapons expansion, objectifying, old paradigm, old story, one earth, one people, one tribe, oppressive system, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Pancho Ramos Stierle, paradigm shift, passivity, person centred counselling exeter, poison pill, political hate, political ideology, political uncertainty, prayers, preconditions for war, prison industrial complex, privilege, privileged classes, programming ideologies, propaganda, racism, regenerative, repudiation of elite, repudiation of establishment, resource extraction, restorative, restorative justice, rewriting political vocabulary, roots of racism, Sarah Fields, self harming, sense of betrayal, sexism, shibboleths, shift in consciousness, social change, social conservatism, social constructs, social harm, solidarity, sourcing from empathy, space between stories, spiritual retreats, surveillance state, sweetening the pill, time of uncertainty, totalitarian, trauma responses, true unknowing, unconditional love, unknowing, us and them, us versus them, victim blaming, water protectors, when normal falls apart, white privilege, world dominating machine, world falling apart, wound of separation, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Oriah Mountain Dreamer on being lied about

Posted on September 23, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The writer is only too familiar with the feeling Oriah describes: ‘constricted, shaken, a little frantic….helpless’ – and with the inward and outward impacts of being privately and publicly lied about, with significant harm done. At one level she subscribes … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, anger, blaming, boundaries, bullying, compulsive behaviour, conflict, cultural questions, emotions, empowerment, loss, objectification, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Palace Gate Counselling Service, power and powerlessness, presence, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, shadow, shaming, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged abusive behaviour, acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, being lied about, being with difficult feelings, being with uncomfortable feelings, blame and shame, blame model, blaming, conflict, conflict resolution, controlling behaviour, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating space, dealing with difficult feelings, dealing with injustice, dealing with uncomfortable feelings, dealing with unfairness, despair, family dynamics, group dynamics, harm done, Helplessness, holding difficult feelings, holding uncomfortable feelings, intent to cause harm, intention to cause harm, Karen Davis, lack of control, low cost counselling exeter, Open Door Dreaming, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, powerlessness, projecting shadow, public attack, public humiliation, reputational damage, reputational harm, self concept, self-structure, shaming, shared humanity, sharing experience, sitting with feelings, spaciousness, spirituality, surrender, Telling lies, unawareness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

James Garbarino on the connection between adult violence & childhood trauma

Posted on June 19, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Here’s a brief excerpt to give you the flavour. James Garbarino is a psychologist, a writer, and a professor at Loyola University in Chicago, who has spent years working with men convicted of violent crimes. His (experiential and evidenced) perspective … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, accountability, anger, blaming, childhood abuse, civil rights, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, empowerment, encounter, ethics, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, growing up, growth, James Garbarino, kindness & compassion, objectification, political, power and powerlessness, relationship, scapegoating, self concept, shadow, shaming, trauma, trust, violence | Tagged abuse, accountability, adverse childhood experience, affordable counselling exeter, anger, blame model, blaming, childhood abuse, civil rights, collective scapegoating, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, criminal justice system, criminal psychology, dehumanisation, dehumanization, disconnection, effects of childhood trauma, empathy, empowerment, encounter, ethics, evil, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, growing up, growth, James Garbarino, Listening to Killers, low cost counselling exeter, objectification, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, relationship, scapegoating, self concept, shadow, shaming, trauma, trust, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Brené Brown on Cultivating Love

Posted on April 11, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, Brene Brown, core conditions, emotions, empathy, encounter, friendship, growth, immanence, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, shame, spirituality, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, belonging, betrayal, blame, blame model, Brené Brown, compassion, connection, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, disrespect, empathy, fault and blame, growth, interconnectedness, interconnection, kindness, love, loving connection, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, relationship, self care, self love, self nurture, shame, spirituality, The Gifts of Imperfection, trust, vulnerability, withdrawal from relationship, withholding, withholding affection, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

The Rupture of the Mother Line & the Cost of Becoming Real – Bethany Webster

Posted on February 26, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://womboflight.com/2014/12/21/the-rupture-of-the-mother-line-and-the-cost-of-becoming-real/ Fascinating article by Bethany on the mother-daughter relationship, its deeper potential and meanings, and the wounds inflicted by our culture. She explores the feminine journey into realness and wholeness, with mother as initiator or wounded saboteur – and how … Continue reading →

Posted in awakening, Bethany Webster, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, empowerment, external locus, family systems, fear, feminine, Gender & culture, generational trauma, growing up, growth, healing, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, love, meaning, paradigm shift, parenting, person centred, political, power and powerlessness, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, transformation, trauma | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, autonomy, awakening, awakening feminine, Bethany Webster, blame model, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, consciousness, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, deprivation, earth mother, emotional care-taking, emotional caretaking, empowerment, enmeshment, external locus, false self, feminine, feminine power, feminism, freedom, Gaia, generational trauma, grief, grieving, guilt, human needs, identity, independence, individuation, initiation, integration, internal locus, internalised values, internalized values, introjected beliefs, introjections, limiting beliefs, love, low cost counselling exeter, maturation process, medicine woman, misogyny, mother daughter relationship, mother longing, mother wound, mothering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, patriarchal culture, patriarchy, people pleasing, person centred counselling exeter, Phillip Moffitt, realness, rejection, relationship, rupture, rupture in relationship, sacred feminine, Self, self blame, self concept, self-sabotage, separation, unmet needs, wholeness, woman as empowerer, woman as initiator, woman as nurturer, woman as protector, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment