Tag Archives: self judgment

The thorn in my side – Anne Lamott

Posted on May 9, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.salon.com/2017/04/02/the-thorn-in-my-side-i-tried-to-let-go-of-my-poisonous-grudge-against-another-writer/ Click on the above link to visit http://www.salon.com for this excerpt from April from Anne’s new book ‘Hallelujah Anyway’. Interesting and open piece about resentment, self blame and moving on through…. Here’s the book link:- Palace Gate Counselling … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, anger, Anne Lamott, blaming, compulsive behaviour, conflict, cultural questions, identity, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, spirituality, surrender | Tagged addiction, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, Anne Lamott, anxiety, anxiety and blame, authenticity, bearing grudges, being competitive, being heard, being judged, being rejected, Bird by Bird, blaming others, blessed are the meek, bondage of self, call and response, competition ethic, competitive tendencies, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conditioning, conditions of worth, confession, connection, control over chaos, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, detachment, disliking yourself, divine love, ethic of service, experiencing jealousy, experiencing rejection, experiencing the gift, feeling competitive, feeling empty, feeling like a fuckup, feeling mean, feeling remorse, feeling shame, finding humility, finite human nature, fixing yourself, forgiveness, fucking up, grace and mercy, Grace Eventually, grief and confusion, Hallelujah Anyway, hearing someone’s pain, Help Thanks Wow, hiding, Imperfect Birds, jealousy and judgement, jealousy and judgment, judging others, keeping secrets, kindness, low cost counselling exeter, mercifulness, mercy, offering mercy, Operating Instructions, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians, person centred counselling exeter, Plan B, presence, rediscovering mercy, regret, remorse, resist less, resistance, Rosie, Schadenfreude, Scoop Nisker, seeing the gift, self blame, self blaming, self concept, self dislike, self judgement, self judging, self judgment, self-loathing, self-structure, sense of emptiness, sense of humility, sense of identity, sense of self, sense of smallness, shaming, Small Victories, Some Assembly Required, spiritual autobiography, spiritual growth, spirituality, St. Paul’s letters, Stitches, submission and servitude, surrender, thorn in my side, toxic behaviour, toxic qualities, Traveling Mercies, truth out loud, try harder, trying and resistance, unconditional love, willingness, working with envy, working with resentment, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Gil Bailie on the Crucifixion & Blame

Posted on April 15, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“The surest way to miss the link between the cure (the crucifixion and its aftereffects) and the disease (the structures of scapegoating violence upon which all human social arrangements have depended) is to read the passion story with an eye … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, awakening, blaming, bullying, civil rights, community, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, core conditions, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, ethics, external locus, fear, guilt, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, objectification, perception, person centred, person centred theory, political, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, spirituality, trauma, trust, violence | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aggression of blame, blame, blame and responsibility, blaming, collective responsibility, collective scapegoating, collective shadow, commitment to self, compassion, conditional love, conditions of worth, connection, contempt of others, core beliefs, core conditions, core wounding, core wounds, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural projection, cultural violence, empathic connection, empathic failure, empathy, encounter, expanding awareness, failure of empathy, finger pointing, Gil Bailie, hopelessness, human limitations, human needs, invalidation, inward enquiry, inwards enquiry, kindness, lack of validation, Lived Experience, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, meaning of evil, meaning of the crucifixion, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, not good enough, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal development, personal responsibility, personal shadow, phenomenological approach, presence, projecting, projecting shadow, projection, relationship, religious violence, sacred violence, scapegoating, self awareness, self blame, self care, self compassion, self concept, self contempt, self enquiry, self esteem, self expression, self judgement, self judgment, self perception, self worth, self-responsibility, self-structure, separation, shame, shaming, spirituality, suppressing need, suppressing self expression, trust, unlived life, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, Violence Unveiled, wholeness, withdrawal, witnessing, worth as a person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Matt Licata on not allowing ‘spirituality’ to shame our needs

Posted on January 20, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

This is so important. The blame and shame model is always toxic, whether the more traditional style, or clad in New Age robes. We all feel, and we all need – it’s integral to the human experience. The helpful response is … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, blaming, bullying, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, growth, human condition, immanence, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, presence, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, spirituality, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, touch, vulnerability | Tagged affection, affordable counselling exeter, aggression, aggression of blame, attachment, attunement, being met, being seen, beloved, blame, blaming, caregivers, commitment to self, compassion, completeness, conditional love, conditions of worth, connection, contact, core beliefs, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, dependence, despair, disappointment, Elizabeth Gadd Photography, embodied experience, empathic connection, empathic failure, empathy, encounter, energy, enlightenment, expressing needs, failure of empathy, faith, family of origin, getting needs met in relationship, growth, having needs, hopelessness, human limitations, human needs, invalidation, kindness, lack of validation, Lizzy Gadd, longing, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, low vibration, manifestation, manifesting, Matt Licata, misunderstanding, need for affection, need for contact, need for love, need for touch, need to be heard, need to be received, need to be seen, need to be witnessed, neediness, New Age, new age fundamentalism, no self, not good enough, open heart, own being, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, presence, relational animal, relational mammal, relationship, risk, self blame, self care, self compassion, self concept, self esteem, self expression, self judgement, self judgment, self perception, self worth, self-responsibility, self-structure, separation, shame, shaming, spiritual aggression, spiritual growth, spirituality, suppressing need, suppressing self expression, transcendence, trust, unlived life, unmet need, validation, validation of needs, wholeness, withdrawal, witnessing, worth as a person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yearning | Leave a comment

‘Like a silkworm weaving’ Akka Mahadevi – the eclipse, shadow & growth by Ivan Granger

Posted on October 19, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/blog/2015/09/30/akka-mahadevi-like-a-silkworm-weaving/ Beautiful poem by Akka Mahadevi, and profound and beautifully expressed reflections by Ivan in the wake of September’s lunar eclipse. Here’s a taste:- ‘The thing about the dark parts of life and the dark parts of our own psyches … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', acceptance, awakening, cognitive, compassion, compulsive behaviour, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, dependence, Disconnection, dying, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, fear, growth, healing, human condition, identity, immanence, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, natural world, organismic experiencing, perception, poetry, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shadow, shame, spirituality, surrender, vulnerability | Tagged 'evil', A K Ramanujan, abandoned self, acting out, acting out shadow, actualising, actualizing, addiction, addiction and spirituality, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, Akka Mahadevi, attachment, attention, authenticity, awareness, becoming, being, celestial event of note, claustrophobia, compassion, compassionate awareness, complete self, complexity of self, compulsive actions, compulsive behaviour, condemnation, confrontation with self, congruence, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, dark parts of life, death, desire, desperation, difficult experience, difficult feeling, diminishing, discarded self, disowning the shadow, divided self, divided sense of self, dying, eclipse, ego, ego mind, encounter with death, energetic process, exiled parts of ourselves, existential meaning, exteriorized self, externalizing self, fear, fragmentation, frightening, greed, heart centre, ideologues, ideology, inner growth, integrating self, integrating shadow, integration, interior space, Ivan Granger, judgment, letting go, Like a silkworm weaving, listening to ourselves, lost self, low cost counselling exeter, mask slips, metamorphosis, mortality, navel gazing, out of awareness, outward experience, overcoming addiction, owning the shadow, pain, painful, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perfection, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, Poetry Chaikhana, problem of desire, process distortion, psychic addiction, sadness, scapegoating, self awareness, self compassion, self concept, self condemnation, self encounter, self judgment, self-structure, sense of self, sensory experience, separation, severance, sexual prudery, shadow, shadows in life, shame, Speaking of Siva, spiritual awakening, spiritual centre, spiritual core, spiritual energies, spiritual growth, spiritual meaning, spiritual opening, spiritual path, spiritual process, spirituality, spontaneity, substance abuse, suffering, surface awareness, surrender, terror, transcendence, transformation, transient experience, trauma, traumatic experience, uncomfortable experience, uncomfortable feeling, unconscious beliefs, unresolved pain, unresolved trauma, vulnerability, what is hidden, wholeness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment