John Bradshaw on the process of alienation

‘A child is born self-connected and has an organismic sense of wholeness with relation to each of its powers, drives, and needs. Once a power, drive, or need is shamed, it becomes disconnected. As the shaming continues and intensifies, the process of self-splitting and alienation takes place. We feel less and less at home with ourselves.

It is clear to me that abusive behaviour is unnatural. It is not the spontaneous fruit of our human nature. The abusing person either has learned to confuse abuse with love or is getting even with his or her own abuser. Abusers are themselves mystified. They are mentally fixed without a vision of alternatives. This narrowness of abuse represents a loss of awareness about oneself and one’s choices. The abuser has lost freedom. And the abuse inflicted will greatly diminish the abused’s freedom. Freedom comes from within. It flows from the core of our personal power. Once our body, drives, needs, and powers are shamed, we have lost all contact with our inner resources. Our freedom of choice is thereby decommissioned.’

John Bradshaw: Creating Love: The Next Great Stage of Growth

Here’s the book link:-

Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter

Counselling Exeter since 1994

This entry was posted in 'evil', abuse, childhood abuse, compulsive behaviour, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, external locus, fear, growing up, James Hillman, John Bradshaw, objectification, perception, power and powerlessness, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, sexual violence, shadow, shame, shaming, trauma, violence, vulnerability and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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