Click on the link to Facebook for this Gibran quotation and Oriah’s interesting and helpful comments. We think she makes an essential point, that often gets missed by ‘positive thinking’ advice or therapy that advocates this, however well-meaning it may be.
As Rogers identified, we are most able to change when we are most able to accept where we are. ‘Accept’ does not mean ‘like’ or ‘be okay with’, but rather ‘engage with our experiencing’ – including how we feel about it.
Simply trying to ‘think positive’ may not be helpful – if it amounts to denying, distorting or pushing away our authentic experiencing. That is more likely to get us stuck than help us heal and grow.
We think Khalil Gibran is making an accurate observation – it’s simply that we need to feel our feelings and do our grieving FIRST, in order to free us up to change our perspectives and move on through, as Oriah points out.
Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter