Tag Archives: saying no

Ten Meter Tower by Maximilien Van Aertryck & Axel Danielson

Posted on May 17, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://digg.com/video/ten-meter-tower-psychology-experiment Click on the above link to visit http://www.digg.com for this mesmerising and beautiful film from the New York Times – a little over 16 minutes – of people approaching the edge of a 10 metre diving board. There is … Continue reading →

Posted in autonomy, boundaries, communication, conditions of worth, cultural questions, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, external locus, fear, Gender & culture, gender identity, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, non-conforming, perception, physical being, risk, self, self concept, shame, surrender, vulnerability | Tagged 10 meter tower, 10 metre tower, affordable counselling exeter, autonomy, Axel Danielson, being judged, boundaries, challenging experience, conditions of worth, conforming, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, difficult experience, encountering challenge, encountering fear, external locus, fear of being judged, fear of judgment, inner conflict, internal locus, listening to self, low cost counselling exeter, making difficult choices, Maximilien Van Aertryck, need for acceptance, need to belong, non conforming, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, saying no, saying yes, self concept, self-structure, sense of identity, shame, showing fear, surrender process, ten meter tower, ten metre tower, vulnerability, wanting to expand, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Brené Brown on Living in the Questions

Posted on April 15, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://mariashriver.com/blog/2016/04/prime-book-brene-brown-courage-vulnerability-peter-freed/?utm_source=Current+Users&utm_campaign=6c8a4c7de2-April_8_Send_Out_4_8_2016&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_53bf79976c-6c8a4c7de2-35203661&mc_cid=6c8a4c7de2&mc_eid=baf214491e Brené talking about what the maturation process has looked like for her… We agree – learning to live in the questions is also what we see unfolding in therapy. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994 … Continue reading →

Posted in boundaries, Brene Brown, compassion, conditions of worth, congruence, consciousness, creativity, cultural questions, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, growing up, growth, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, meaning, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, risk, self, self concept, shadow, shame, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged achievement, achievement culture, affordable counselling exeter, alpha parenting, armor, armour, belonging, boundaries, Brené Brown, competitive culture, consumer society, consumerism, control, controlling outcome, coping mechanisms, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, courage, creativity, de-armoring, de-armouring, depletion, difficult feeling, exhaustion, existential meaning, exploring the darkness, feeling inadequate, feeling lost, feeling resentful, finding answers, finding certainty, getting hurt, giving yourself permission, growing into your gifts, growing up, holding boundaries, I am enough, imperfection, inadequacy, living in the mystery, living in the questions, lostness, love and light, low cost counselling exeter, materialism, maturation, midlife crisis, midlife questions, not knowing, owning your narrative, owning your stories, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, people pleasing, performing, person centred counselling exeter, Peter Freed, pretending, Prime, protecting yourself, rediscovering creativity, resentment, risk, saying no, self protection, self worth, self worth based on achievement, setting boundaries, shame, show up and be seen, showing up, slowing down, softening into the mysteries, still searching, transformation, transformative change, transience, uncertainty, uncomfortable feeling, unknowing, unravelling, vulnerability, weakness, what people think, whole heart, worthiness, worthy of love, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘What’s the Cure for Whining?’ Patty Wipfler – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on February 10, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link below for another helpful article from Patty, about how to help your child with their difficult feelings, and get beyond the unhelpfulness of blaming and punishing. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994 … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, blaming, child development, communication, conflict, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, family systems, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, parenting, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, self esteem, shaming, touch, trust, vulnerability | Tagged aloneness, ancestral healing, ancestral pain, asking for help, attention, being loved, belonging, boundaries, catharsis, child behaviour, child’s frame of reference, childhood confidence, childhood distress, childhood needs, children whining, closeness, comforting children, communicating with children, communicating with your child, conflict, connectedness, connection, conscious parenting, contact, difficult feeling, disconnection, emotional climate, emotional outlets, emotional reality, emotional tasks, emotional weather, empathic listening, empathy, encounter, endings, expressing feelings, familial patterns, family patterns, feeling cherished, feeling disconnected, feeling loved, feeling powerless, feeling separate, fixing, frustration, helping children deal with endings, Helplessness, human needs, inner weather, inner well being, interconnection, intimacy, irrational requests, loneliness, manipulation, manipulative behaviour, naughty step, need for contact, parental anger, parental attention, parental availability, parental communication, parental exhaustion, parental resentment, parenting, persistent unhappiness, placating, play therapy, playfulness, powerlessness, presence, punishing, punishing children, punishment, reassurance, reassuring, releasing bad feelings, rescuing, responding not reacting, saying no, saying no to your child, self esteem, sense of connection, separateness, sibling competition, sibling rivalry, somatic expressions of distress, tantrums, time out, trust, uncomfortable feeling, understanding, unhappy mood, venting, well-being, whining, why love matters, zoning out | Leave a comment

Getting ready for school – Pennie Brownlee

Posted on November 19, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click to access getting_ready_for_school_2.pdf Sensitive, intelligent, useful piece on an important theme…. what is early schooling most usefully about, if it is to serve our children both in their childhoods and their lives as adults? We don’t work with under 18s at … Continue reading →

Posted in child development, cognitive, communication, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, education, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, ethics, growing up, human condition, kindness & compassion, organismic experiencing, paradigm shift, parenting, perception, person centred, self, self concept, teaching, values & principles | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, assertiveness, authority figures, behaviour is caught, child development, childhood conflict, childhood development, coercion, conditioning, conditions of worth, conflict resolution, conforming, conscious learning, conscious living, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, early development, education, empathy, estranged adults, expressing feelings, external locus, fear, friendship, fulfilment, getting ready for school, grace, harmonious social relationships, human needs, interpersonal skills, Joseph Chilton Pearce, learn how to be empathetic, learning empathy, learning environment, learning how to meet needs, learning relationship skills, learning to relate, love, love of play, low cost counselling exeter, making friends, making relationship, managing feelings, meeting needs, mirroring, modelling, nature and nurture, Non Violent Communication, non-conforming, NVC, openness, over schooling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parental responsibility, Pennie Brownlee, people skills, person centered education, person centred counselling exeter, person centred education, person-centered, person-centred, personal development, personal grievance, personal power, playfulness, playing, preparing for school, primary education, relational ability, relational skills, responsibility, saying no, schooling, self assertion, self concept, self expression, self knowledge, self protection, self-structure, social anxiety, social being, social conventions, social fulfilment, social harmony, social isolation, social learning, social skills, successful relationships, supporting learning, teaching, using force, wholeness, window of grace and openness, working well with others, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Reclaiming Sweet Freedom – 23 things that we need not explain justify or defend – Isabel Abbott

Posted on September 22, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/09/reclaiming-sweet-freedom-23-things-that-we-need-not-explain-justify-or-defend/ Just gorgeous. This is written from the woman’s perspective, and the writer wants to expand it to include all of us (with any tweaks required to find the right fit for you). It’s wonderful, profound, poetic and important. Thanks, … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, beauty, blaming, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, dependence, diversity, Eating, Elephant Journal, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, fear, feminine, flow, Gender & culture, grief, growth, guilt, healing, human condition, humour, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, loss, love, meaning, mindfulness, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, paradigm shift, parenting, perception, person centred, physical being, political, power and powerlessness, pregnancy, presence, reality, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self esteem, sexual being, sexual orientation, shadow, shame, shaming, surrender, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged absence, accusation, affordable counselling exeter, Aftermath, apologising, apologizing, approval, art, authenticity, autonomy, awakening, becoming, belonging, boundaries, censoring, change, changing your mind, choice, comfort, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conforming, conformity, connection, control, conviction, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, defending yourself, dependency, desire, disappointment, disapproval, discomfort, distortion, divorce, ecstasy, Elephant Journal, embodied being, embodiment, emotional abuse, emotions, ethics, experiential truth, explaining yourself, falling in love, fear, fear of being misunderstood, fear of food, feelings, feminism, freedom, gas lighting, gender, getting needs met, grief, growth, human needs, impulse, inexplicable sadness, inner work, integration, interconnection, interdependence, intimacy, invasive behaviour, Isabel Abbott, joy, judgement, judgment, learning, longing, loss, loss of self, love, loving ourselves, low cost counselling exeter, marriage, mindfulness, misunderstanding, need for reassurance, non-conforming, not knowing, obsession with food, oppression, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, perception, permission, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal work, personhood, presence, purging poison, rationalising, rationalizing, reality, reassurance, reclaiming self, regret, relationship, restlessness, right to be you, right to exist, sadness, saying no, self acceptance, self care, self defence, self doubt, self expression, self justification, self liberation, self realisation, self realization, sexual being, sexual love, sexuality, shadow, shame, shared narratives, social approval, story, surrender, terror, transformation, trauma, trust, trusting ourselves, truth, uncertainty, verbal abuse, vulnerability, wanting, witnessing, writing, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

When Children Lie – Patty Wipfler – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on August 26, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/when-children-lie/ This is a helpful site, and a helpful article, if you are looking to find effective ways to parent outside the culturally prevalent models of fault, blame and punishment. In the writer’s experience, most parents deeply want what is … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, accountability, anger, blaming, child development, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, family systems, fear, generational trauma, growing up, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, parenting, power and powerlessness, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, teaching, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, anger, blame, boundaries, boundaries in parenting, closeness, coercive parenting, coercive relationship, cold shoulder, competition, competitiveness, conditions of worth, conscious parenting, consequences, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dealing with tantrums, dependence, disapproval, discipline in parenting, disconnection, effect of competition on children, effect of competition on self esteem, emotional safety, emotional truths, empathy, excluding, exclusion, experimentation in parenting, external locus, fear, handling tantrums, hope, humiliating, humiliation, intimacy, judgemental parenting, learning in parenting, love, low cost counselling exeter, lying in children, meeting needs indirectly, motivation, my child lies, need for approval, need for attention, need for love, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Patty Wipfler, perceived threat, person centered parenting, person centred counselling exeter, person centred parenting, person-centered, person-centred, positive attention, power imbalance, punishing, punishment, punishment as control, relational withdrawal, responsibility, safety, saying no, security, self concept, self esteem in children, shame, shaming, social lies, standards of truth, stay listening, staylistening, tantrums, threat, toxic culture, toxic shame, trust, truth telling, understanding, undivided attention, when children lie, withdrawal, www.handinhandparenting.org, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Ending Power Struggles with Children – Hand in Hand Parenting – Patty Wipfler

Posted on August 2, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/ending-power-struggles-with-children/ At the heart of person centred is the idea that we each have inherent value, and that there is a fundamental equality between us. Whatever differences there may be in our life experience, culture, age, gender, race, ability, education, … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, child development, communication, compassion, consent, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, dependence, diversity, education, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, family systems, flow, growing up, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, love, non-directive counselling, organismic experiencing, parenting, perception, person centred, person centred theory, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, spirituality, teaching, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, values & principles, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, assertiveness, autonomy, child development, confidence, conscious parenting, consent, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, developmental stages, diversity, equalising power, equality, equalizing power, Hand in Hand Parenting, independence, interdependence, internal locus, low cost counselling exeter, nurture, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, Patty Wipfler, person centred counselling exeter, person centred parenting, person-centred, power in relationship, power struggle with children, saying no, self esteem, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Everything is a Mirror (until it’s Not) – Toko-pa

Posted on March 25, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://toko-pa.com/2015/03/23/mirror/ Powerful post on how valuable and important it is that we can inhabit our ‘no’, alongside our capacities for self reflection and loving kindness. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter

Posted in abuse, acceptance, anger, communication, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, core conditions, emotions, empowerment, encounter, equality, growth, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, perception, power and powerlessness, self, shadow, spirituality, Toko-pa, transformation | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, ambiguity, boundaries, Chesed, conflict, congruence, consciousness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, Gevurah, growth, higher self, Kabbalah, loving kindness, low cost counselling exeter, Maitri, new age fundamentalism, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradox, person centred counselling exeter, relationship, sacred space, saying no, self assertion, self reflection, self respect, shadow, sovereignty, spirituality, symbols, Toko-pa, transformation, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

4 Ways Parents Teach Kids that Consent Doesn’t Matter: Parenting Gently with Paige

Posted on July 14, 2014 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Thank you (once again) to Monica Cassani and her site http://www.beyondmeds.com for posting this. A really useful short film about 4 basic changes we can all make to ways of parenting that are culturally common, but which can make it … Continue reading →

Posted in child development, childhood abuse, communication, core conditions, cultural questions, empowerment, family systems, growing up, internal locus of evaluation, Monica Cassani, parenting, person centred, relationship, sexual being, teaching, therapeutic growth, touch | Tagged assertiveness, autonomy, child development, confidence, conscious parenting, consent, developmental stages, http://parentinggently.blogspot.co.uk, internal locus, Marshall Rosenberg, Monica Cassani, Non Violent Communication, NVC, Paige, Palace Gate Counselling Service, parenting, Parenting Gently, person centred parenting, person-centred, saying no, self esteem, Touch, unwanted touch, unwelcome touch, www.beyondmeds.com | 1 Comment

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