Tag Archives: punishment

Marshall Rosenberg on what peace requires from us

Posted on April 16, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', anger, communication, compassion, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, fear, interconnection & belonging, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, perception, power and powerlessness, relationship, shadow, violence, vulnerability | Tagged 'evil', affordable counselling exeter, anger, belief systems, blame, blaming, communication, compassion, conflict, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural questions, cultural values, disconnection, empathy, human condition, human needs, interconnection & belonging, judging, low cost counselling exeter, Marshall Rosenberg, Non Violent Communication, NVC, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, perception, person centred counselling exeter, punishing, punishment, relationship, scapegoating, shaming, social values, unmet needs, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Guante ‘Ten Responses to the Phrase ‘Man up”

Posted on December 6, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link above for Guante’s performance of his work on Button Poetry’s Facebook page. Aho. ‘Man up’ belongs in the ‘just don’t say it’ category…. Thanks, Guante, and also to Button Poetry and Angie Buchanan for posting this on Facebook … Continue reading →

Posted in communication, cultural questions, cultural taboos, Disconnection, diversity, emotions, empathy, empowerment, ethics, feminine, Gender & culture, growing up, healing, identity, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, masculine, non-conforming, objectification, paradigm shift, parenting, perception, political, power and powerlessness, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, sexual being, sexual orientation, sexual violence, shadow, shame, shaming, vulnerability | Tagged activism, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, antisocial behaviour, approval, authority, autonomy, belittling, belonging, binary, blame, body image, bullying, Button Poetry, challenge, child development, claiming personal power, coercive conformity, coercive culture, community, compassion, competition, conditions of worth for boys, conditions of worth for men, conforming, conformity, confrontation, connectedness, conscious living, consciousness, contempt, controlling behaviour, controlling culture, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, cultural difference, cultural distortion, cultural diversity, culture of coercion, culture of control, culture of shame, cycles of shame, defensive, demonising maleness, demonising masculinity, demonizing maleness, demonizing masculinity, desensitization, destructive behaviour, developmental process, developmental trauma, disapproval, disconnection, discrimination, discrimination against men, displaced expression, distorted developmental process, distortions of masculine power, diversity, division, domination, educating boys, education, emotional awareness, emotional connection, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence in men, emotions, empathy, empathy in boys, empathy in men, empowerment, essence of the masculine, exclusion, external authority, external locus, fear, gender, gender and culture, gender and emotion, gender bias, gender discrimination, gender prejudice, Guante, humiliation, individuated man, individuation, inner truth, inner voice, internal dialogue, internalised values, internalized values, introjections, judgement, kindness, Kyle Tran Myhre, loneliness, loss, low cost counselling exeter, man up, masculine, masculine energies, masculine intuition, masculine norms, masculine nurture, masculinity, men and emotion, misuse of power, non-conforming, nurture in men, objectification, oppression, oppressor, ostracism, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, parenting, pathologising maleness, pathologising masculinity, pathologizing maleness, pathologizing masculinity, patriarchal behaviour, patriarchal culture, patriarchy, permission, person centred counselling exeter, personal discovery, personal journey, personal power, personal work, personhood, poetry as activism, political, projection, projective identification, projective reality, public shaming, punishment, punishment for not conforming, reclaiming the masculine, relationship, repression, ridicule, sacred feminine, sacred masculine, self concept, self distortion, self sufficiency, self suppression, self-structure, sensitivity, sensitivity as strength, separation, sexual diversity, sexual shaming, sexualisation of the masculine, sexualization of the masculine, shadow, shame, shaming, shaming as bloodsport, shaming men, shaming of maleness, social isolation, social pressure, stigma, stigmatising, stigmatizing, stoicism, subjective experience, suppression, unconscious behaviour, vulnerability, vulnerability as strength, wounded feminine, wounded masculine, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

‘What’s the Cure for Whining?’ Patty Wipfler – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on February 10, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link below for another helpful article from Patty, about how to help your child with their difficult feelings, and get beyond the unhelpfulness of blaming and punishing. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994 … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, blaming, child development, communication, conflict, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, family systems, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, parenting, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, self esteem, shaming, touch, trust, vulnerability | Tagged aloneness, ancestral healing, ancestral pain, asking for help, attention, being loved, belonging, boundaries, catharsis, child behaviour, child’s frame of reference, childhood confidence, childhood distress, childhood needs, children whining, closeness, comforting children, communicating with children, communicating with your child, conflict, connectedness, connection, conscious parenting, contact, difficult feeling, disconnection, emotional climate, emotional outlets, emotional reality, emotional tasks, emotional weather, empathic listening, empathy, encounter, endings, expressing feelings, familial patterns, family patterns, feeling cherished, feeling disconnected, feeling loved, feeling powerless, feeling separate, fixing, frustration, helping children deal with endings, Helplessness, human needs, inner weather, inner well being, interconnection, intimacy, irrational requests, loneliness, manipulation, manipulative behaviour, naughty step, need for contact, parental anger, parental attention, parental availability, parental communication, parental exhaustion, parental resentment, parenting, persistent unhappiness, placating, play therapy, playfulness, powerlessness, presence, punishing, punishing children, punishment, reassurance, reassuring, releasing bad feelings, rescuing, responding not reacting, saying no, saying no to your child, self esteem, sense of connection, separateness, sibling competition, sibling rivalry, somatic expressions of distress, tantrums, time out, trust, uncomfortable feeling, understanding, unhappy mood, venting, well-being, whining, why love matters, zoning out | Leave a comment

Jeff Foster on the fundamentals of healing, teaching (& therapy)

Posted on December 27, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Update 29 December: for some reason, this link is not showing up for all readers (thank you, Thad!). In case that includes you, the Jeff Foster quotation is:- “A true healer does not heal you; she simply reflects back to … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, awakening, beauty, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, growth, healing, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Jeff Foster, kindness & compassion, love, organismic experiencing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, person centred, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, teaching, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trust, unconditional positive regard, working with clients | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, authenticity, blaming, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, empathy, external locus, getting out of the way, growth, healing, how we grow, how we learn, humiliating, humiliation, humility, internal locus, Jeff Foster, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, punishing, punishment, shame, shaming, spiritual teacher, spiritual teaching, spirituality, Tang Wei Min, task of healer, task of teacher, task of therapist, teaching, therapeutic growth, trust the client, trust the process, why love matters, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Gabor Maté on Addiction, change & relationship with someone who is addicted

Posted on October 6, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘To live with an addict of any kind is frustrating, emotionally painful and often infuriating. Family, friends and spouse may feel they are dealing with a double personality: one sane and lovable, the other devious and uncaring. They believe the … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, accountability, actualizing tendency, anger, blaming, communication, compulsive behaviour, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, encounter, ethics, family systems, Gabor Mate, guilt, loss, person centred, power and powerlessness, relationship, research evidence, sadness & pain, self concept, shadow, shaming, transformation | Tagged 7 stages, acceptance, accepting others, acknowledging reality, addict, addiction, adult-to-adult relationships, affordable counselling exeter, anger, attempting to change others, autonomous, autonomy, blame, blaming, brain physiology, broken promises, changing others, choice, coercion, confrontation, consent, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dishonesty, double personality, Edward Deci, emotional withdrawal, family attitudes in addiction, fear, frustration, Gabor Mate, guilt, guilt and resentment, harmful behaviour, hostility, hurtful behaviour, intention, intervention, judgement, leaving an addict, low cost counselling exeter, Maia Szalawitz, manipulating, motivation, motivation and addiction, motivational techniques, not judging, nurture, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, punishing, punishment, rage, Realm of Hungry Ghosts, reforming an addict, rejecting, rejection, relationship with an addict, resenting, resentment, resentment in relationship, responsibility, sabotage in relationship, self abnegation, self concept, self-mastery, self-responsibility, self-sacrifice, self-structure, seven stages, shadow, shame, shaming, soul suicide, taking responsibility for another person's behaviour, tolerating behaviour, tough love, toxic relationship, unconditional acceptance, unreliability, wisdom, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Person-centred Basics – Janet Tolan on Labels

Posted on October 2, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The third in our occasional series of some person-centred fundamentals. ‘There are many ways of describing people who use services such as housing, education and health. Some of these are also used of counselling clients: this client is “manipulative”, that … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, accountability, actualizing tendency, blaming, Carl Rogers, compassion, conditions of worth, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, diversity, empathy, encounter, ethics, external locus, fear, growth, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Janet Tolan, love, meaning, non-conforming, non-directive counselling, objectification, organismic experiencing, perception, person centred, person centred theory, political, presence, psychiatry, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, shadow, shaming, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, working with clients | Tagged 19 Propositions, abusers, accountability, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, attention-seeking, autonomy, awareness, beliefs in therapy, belonging, binary, blame culture, blaming, Carl Rogers, co dependence, coercive culture, compassion, condemnation, conformity, connectedness, connection, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellor self awareness, counsellors Exeter, cultural coercion, cultural norms, cultural orthodoxy, cultural values, de-armouring, defensiveness, dependence, dependence in counselling, dependence in therapy, dependent client, dualistic, emotional landscape, empathic engagement, empathy, ethical tasks in therapy, ethics, fear, fear in counsellor, fear in therapist, goal-directed behaviour, gratitude, human needs, I it relationship, I Thou relationship, independent thinkers, independent thought, interconnectedness, interconnection, interdependence, internal frame of reference, internal locus, isolation, Janet Tolan, judgement in counselling, judgement in therapy, judgemental attitudes, labelling people, low cost counselling exeter, manipulative, Martin Buber, meeting needs indirectly, narcissist, narcissistic, neediness, needy client, Nineteen Propositions, non-conforming, objectifying, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, PCA, perceived threat, perceptual field, perpetrators, person centered approach, person centred counselling exeter, person centred work with clients, person-centered, person-centred, person-centred approach, personal growth, personal landscape, personal therapy, personality theory, phenomenal field, projection, punishment, reality, responsibility, self concept, self-structure, shadow, shaming, Skills in Person-centred Counselling, social change, social conformity, social values, sociopath, survivors, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, therapist process, therapist self awareness, therapy training, toxic culture, trauma, us and them, victim blaming, victims, working with clients, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Marshall Rosenberg on cultural beliefs

Posted on September 20, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“…there is considerably less violence in cultures where people think in terms of human needs than in cultures where people label one another as “good” or “bad” and believe that the “bad” ones deserve to be punished.” Marshall B. Rosenberg, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', anger, blaming, communication, compassion, conflict, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, human condition, interconnection & belonging, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, paradigm shift, perception, relationship, scapegoating, shaming, violence | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, belief systems, blame, blaming, compassion, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural values, empathy, human needs, judging, low cost counselling exeter, Marshall Rosenberg, Non Violent Communication, NVC, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, punishing, punishment, shame, shaming, social values, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Pema Chödrön on the idea of Karma

Posted on September 15, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“People get into a heavy-duty sin and guilt trip, feeling that if things are going wrong, that means that they did something bad and they are being punished. That’s not the idea at all. The idea of karma is that … Continue reading →

Posted in consciousness, growth, human condition, love, Pema Chödrön, sadness & pain, spirituality, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, Buddhism, consciousness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, de-armouring, growth, guilt, heart opening, human suffering, Karma, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Pema Chödrön, person centred counselling exeter, punishment, self protection, sin, spiritual growth, spirituality, suffering, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

When Children Lie – Patty Wipfler – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on August 26, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/when-children-lie/ This is a helpful site, and a helpful article, if you are looking to find effective ways to parent outside the culturally prevalent models of fault, blame and punishment. In the writer’s experience, most parents deeply want what is … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, accountability, anger, blaming, child development, communication, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, family systems, fear, generational trauma, growing up, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, parenting, power and powerlessness, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, teaching, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, anger, blame, boundaries, boundaries in parenting, closeness, coercive parenting, coercive relationship, cold shoulder, competition, competitiveness, conditions of worth, conscious parenting, consequences, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dealing with tantrums, dependence, disapproval, discipline in parenting, disconnection, effect of competition on children, effect of competition on self esteem, emotional safety, emotional truths, empathy, excluding, exclusion, experimentation in parenting, external locus, fear, handling tantrums, hope, humiliating, humiliation, intimacy, judgemental parenting, learning in parenting, love, low cost counselling exeter, lying in children, meeting needs indirectly, motivation, my child lies, need for approval, need for attention, need for love, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Patty Wipfler, perceived threat, person centered parenting, person centred counselling exeter, person centred parenting, person-centered, person-centred, positive attention, power imbalance, punishing, punishment, punishment as control, relational withdrawal, responsibility, safety, saying no, security, self concept, self esteem in children, shame, shaming, social lies, standards of truth, stay listening, staylistening, tantrums, threat, toxic culture, toxic shame, trust, truth telling, understanding, undivided attention, when children lie, withdrawal, www.handinhandparenting.org, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

How Societies with Little Coercion Have Little Mental Illness – Bruce Levine

Posted on August 22, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://brucelevine.net/how-societies-with-little-coercion-have-little-mental-illness/ ‘Coercion—the use of physical, legal, chemical, psychological, financial, and other forces to gain compliance—is intrinsic to our society’s employment, schooling, and parenting. However, coercion results in fear and resentment, which are fuels for miserable marriages, unhappy families, and what … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, actualizing tendency, anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, Bruce Levine, child development, communication, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, consent, cultural questions, diagnoses of ADHD, Disconnection, diversity, education, emotions, empowerment, equality, Eric Fromm, ethics, external locus, family systems, fear, growing up, human condition, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, paradigm shift, parenting, perception, power and powerlessness, psychiatric abuse, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, psychosis, RD Laing, relationship, schizophrenia, self, self concept, teaching, values & principles | Tagged abuse of power, acting out, addictive behaviour, ADHD, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, antidepressants, anxiety, authority, autonomous, autonomy, behavioral effects of coercion, behavioral problems, belonging, Big Pharma, biochemical psychiatry, biological factors in mental illness, blame, blaming, Bruce Levine, Charles Nordhoff, Civilization and Its Discontents, coercion, coercion and suffering, coercive employment, coercive government, coercive medical treatment, coercive schooling, coercive society, communication, community, competition, compliance, conditions of worth, conduct disorder, conformity, connection, conscious parenting, consensus, constant criticism, consumer society, consumerism, control, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, criminal behaviour, curiosity, democracy, depression, development of social skills, discipline, disengagement, Dr. Lillybridge, drug therapy, effect of coercion, effect of coercion in relationship, emotional effects of coercion, emotional problems, emotional security, employment hierarchy, Erich Fromm, European-American civilization, existential approach, existential therapy, external locus, Faery Lands of the South Seas, family coercion, fear, forced conformity, forced medication, forced psychiatric medication, forced psychiatric treatment, From the World Until Yesterday, Fuller Torrey, Haudenausaunee, Henry David Thoreau, homelessness, humanistic therapy, indigenous cultures, indigenous peoples, indigenous societies, individuation, Institutional Care of the Insane of the United States and Canada, institutional coercion, Interactional Nature of Depression, interconnectedness, interconnection, interdependence, internal locus, interpersonal nature of depression, Iroquois, James Coyne, James Norman Hall, Jared Diamond, John Holt, John Taylor Gatto, Krishnamurti, low cost counselling exeter, mainstream psychiatry, medicalisation of distress, medicalization of distress, medication management, mental health, mental health professionals, mental illness, misery, misuse of power, modernity, NAMI, National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, non coercive parenting, non-conforming, nurturance, nurturing, ODD, Oneida, Oneida Nation of the Confederacy of the Haudenausaunee Iroquois, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parental frustration, parental responsibility, participation, passive entertainment, Paul Goodman, peer pressure, peer validation, person centred counselling exeter, physical intimidation, Politics of Experience, poverty, psychiatric drugs, psychiatric model, Psychiatry, psychoanalysis, Psychosis, punishment, R.D. Laing, relationship, resentment, resistance, responsibility, Roland Chrisjohn, Ronnie Laing, safety of marriage, safety of power, Schizophrenia and Civilization, schizophrenia prevalence, self concept, self-¬confidence, Sigmund Freud, small scale social models, small-scale societies, social factors in mental illness, social skills, social values, socialisation, socialization, societal coercion, stress, survival, talk therapy, talking therapy, The Circle Game, Thomas Joiner, toxic culture, toxic effect of comparison, toxic effects of coercion, unengaging employment, unengaging schooling, unhappy marriage, Western civilization, wisdom, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Tag Archives: punishment

Archives

Meta