Tag Archives: conflict

Marshall Rosenberg on what peace requires from us

Posted on April 16, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', anger, communication, compassion, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, fear, interconnection & belonging, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, perception, power and powerlessness, relationship, shadow, violence, vulnerability | Tagged 'evil', affordable counselling exeter, anger, belief systems, blame, blaming, communication, compassion, conflict, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cultural questions, cultural values, disconnection, empathy, human condition, human needs, interconnection & belonging, judging, low cost counselling exeter, Marshall Rosenberg, Non Violent Communication, NVC, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, perception, person centred counselling exeter, punishing, punishment, relationship, scapegoating, shaming, social values, unmet needs, violence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Oriah Mountain Dreamer on being lied about

Posted on September 23, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The writer is only too familiar with the feeling Oriah describes: ‘constricted, shaken, a little frantic….helpless’ – and with the inward and outward impacts of being privately and publicly lied about, with significant harm done. At one level she subscribes … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, anger, blaming, boundaries, bullying, compulsive behaviour, conflict, cultural questions, emotions, empowerment, loss, objectification, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Palace Gate Counselling Service, power and powerlessness, presence, resilience, sadness & pain, scapegoating, shadow, shaming, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged abusive behaviour, acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, being lied about, being with difficult feelings, being with uncomfortable feelings, blame and shame, blame model, blaming, conflict, conflict resolution, controlling behaviour, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating space, dealing with difficult feelings, dealing with injustice, dealing with uncomfortable feelings, dealing with unfairness, despair, family dynamics, group dynamics, harm done, Helplessness, holding difficult feelings, holding uncomfortable feelings, intent to cause harm, intention to cause harm, Karen Davis, lack of control, low cost counselling exeter, Open Door Dreaming, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, powerlessness, projecting shadow, public attack, public humiliation, reputational damage, reputational harm, self concept, self-structure, shaming, shared humanity, sharing experience, sitting with feelings, spaciousness, spirituality, surrender, Telling lies, unawareness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Jason Hine on relating to those we find difficult

Posted on August 31, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link feels like an important post from Jason on Facebook. The listening he describes is akin to the therapist’s openness to hearing ‘what is underneath the words’; unspoken; perhaps unknown or only partially known – awaiting a gentle invitation … Continue reading →

Posted in communication, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, empathy, encounter, identity, Jason Hine, meaning, metaphor & dream, perception, presence, reality, relationship, self, working with clients | Tagged acknowledging experience, affordable counselling exeter, aggression, building relationship, conflict, conflict resolution, consensus reality, core being, core essence, core meaning, core values, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, de-escalating conflict, defensiveness, difficult people, difficult relationship, dreaming medicine, dreams and metaphor, earth dreaming, emotional process, empathic listening, empathic relationship, empathy, human values, individuation, integration, Jason Hine, listening to people, listening to the unspoken, low cost counselling exeter, moving beyond narrative, need for security, need to protect, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, personal identity, protective impulse, reconciling conflicting realities, responding to aggression, reunion, sacredness, somatic therapy, soul dreaming, soul essence, synthesis, therapeutic process, unconsciousness, underlying values, working with aggression, working with trauma, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Pema Chödrön: What to Do When You Lose It Completely

Posted on July 21, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Just under 3 minutes of gold from Pema. What she suggests is a pause, a directing of the attention inwards, rather than into an/another explosion outwards of resentment or aggression. The purpose is an opening and a softening, to self … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', anger, blaming, compassion, conflict, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, forgiveness, guilt, kindness & compassion, love, mindfulness, objectification, Pema Chödrön, perception, presence, resilience, self, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, surrender, violence, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aggression, anger management, armouring, binary, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, conflict resolution, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, de-armoring, de-armouring, dearmoring, dearmouring, disconnecting, embodiment, emotional chain reaction, escalating conflict, escalating rage, feeling your feelings, fire energy, going off on others, guilt, heat of anger, losing it, low cost counselling exeter, managing rage, manifesting reality, meeting fear, meltdown, objectifying, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Pema Chödrön, person centered conflict resolution, person centred counselling exeter, polarisation, polarization, rage, reactivity, reconnecting, relational connection, remorse, repressing emotion, repressing feeling, resentment, responding, responding not reacting, responding to fear, self acceptance, self calming, self compassion, self concept, self criticism, self denigration, self enquiry, self soothing, shadow, Shambhala, shame, shaming, tenderness, unconditional love, violence, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Lessons from life undercover – AJ+

Posted on June 15, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘Everybody believes they are the good guy….the only real way to disarm your enemy is to listen to them….as long as your enemy is a sub-human psychopath, that is going to attack you no matter what you do, this never … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', anger, blaming, cognitive, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, diversity, empathy, encounter, ethics, fear, identity, objectification, paradigm shift, perception, political, scapegoating, trauma, values & principles, violence | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, AJ, AJ CIA agent, alternative conflict resolution, conflict, conflict escalation, conflict resolution, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dehumanising your enemy, dehumanizing your enemy, disconnection, empathy, lessons from undercover, listening to your enemy, low cost counselling exeter, media manipulation, objectification, objectifying your enemy, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perpetuation of violence, person centred counselling exeter, political manipulation, responding to terrorism, understanding your enemy, violence, war on terror, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Human – Chiara Montaldo’s interview

Posted on May 29, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Another interview clip from Yann Arthus-Bertrand’s film ‘Human’. This one feels especially relevant right now – something about engaging with reality, in place of story, and humanity, in place of ‘othering’. Here’s the short description for the ‘Human’ project/fim:- ‘What … Continue reading →

Posted in boundaries, compassion, conflict, cultural questions, Disconnection, diversity, equality, ethics, guilt, human condition, loss, perception, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, scapegoating, shadow, trauma, violence, vulnerability, Yann Arthus-Bertrand | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, alienation, Chiara Montaldo, collective shadow, compassion, conflict, connectedness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, disconnection, diversity, economic inequality, empathy, encounter, ethics, home, Human, human spirit, inequality, interconnection, interdependence, loss, low cost counselling exeter, need for home, Other Story, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, refugee crisis, refugees, relationship, responsibility, scapegoating, shadow, shared humanity, Syrian refugees, trauma, violence, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, Yann Arthus-Bertrand | Leave a comment

‘What’s the Cure for Whining?’ Patty Wipfler – Hand in Hand Parenting

Posted on February 10, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link below for another helpful article from Patty, about how to help your child with their difficult feelings, and get beyond the unhelpfulness of blaming and punishing. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994 … Continue reading →

Posted in anger, blaming, child development, communication, conflict, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, family systems, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, parenting, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, self concept, self esteem, shaming, touch, trust, vulnerability | Tagged aloneness, ancestral healing, ancestral pain, asking for help, attention, being loved, belonging, boundaries, catharsis, child behaviour, child’s frame of reference, childhood confidence, childhood distress, childhood needs, children whining, closeness, comforting children, communicating with children, communicating with your child, conflict, connectedness, connection, conscious parenting, contact, difficult feeling, disconnection, emotional climate, emotional outlets, emotional reality, emotional tasks, emotional weather, empathic listening, empathy, encounter, endings, expressing feelings, familial patterns, family patterns, feeling cherished, feeling disconnected, feeling loved, feeling powerless, feeling separate, fixing, frustration, helping children deal with endings, Helplessness, human needs, inner weather, inner well being, interconnection, intimacy, irrational requests, loneliness, manipulation, manipulative behaviour, naughty step, need for contact, parental anger, parental attention, parental availability, parental communication, parental exhaustion, parental resentment, parenting, persistent unhappiness, placating, play therapy, playfulness, powerlessness, presence, punishing, punishing children, punishment, reassurance, reassuring, releasing bad feelings, rescuing, responding not reacting, saying no, saying no to your child, self esteem, sense of connection, separateness, sibling competition, sibling rivalry, somatic expressions of distress, tantrums, time out, trust, uncomfortable feeling, understanding, unhappy mood, venting, well-being, whining, why love matters, zoning out | Leave a comment

Jan’s Story

Posted on November 29, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

One of the things we notice in the world, is that hate has difficulty standing up to shared experiences of humanity. Empathy dissolves prejudice and separation. So it feels extremely important to share what this gentle, loving, creative young man has … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', beauty, blaming, compassion, conflict, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, diversity, empathy, encounter, ethics, fear, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, loss, love, paradigm shift, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, scapegoating, shadow, spirituality, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, belonging, collective shadow, compassion, conflict, connection, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, dissolving hate, diversity, empathy, encounter, ethics, fear, home, human spirit, interconnectedness, interconnection, interdependence, loss, low cost counselling exeter, need for home, Other Story, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, refugee crisis, refugees, relationship, responsibility, scapegoating, shadow, shared humanity, spirituality, Syrian refugees, trauma, violence, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Anne Lamott on the challenges (and grace) of being alive

Posted on November 1, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘Love and service are my business’ With humour, grace and gratitude. Thanks, Anne. Helpful reminders. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling Exeter since 1994

Posted in Anne Lamott, beauty, child development, cognitive, communication, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, dying, Eating, education, embodiment, emotions, empathy, encounter, ethics, family systems, fear, friendship, generational trauma, gratitude, grief, growing up, guilt, human condition, humour, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, love, meaning, mindfulness, natural world, organismic experiencing, parenting, perception, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, psychiatric drugs, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self concept, spirituality, teaching, tears, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged addictive behaviour, adverse childhood event, adverse childhood experience, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, aliveness, Anne Lamott, armouring, balance, bereavement, binge drinking, binge eating, bipolar, bullying, childhood trauma, coercive conformity, coercive schooling, compulsive behaviour, conflict, control, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, death, divorce, dying, education and conformity, education and standardisation, empathy, fear, fragmentation, grace, gratitude, grief, growing up, guilt, heartbreak, heartbroken, illness, judgment, judgmental, loneliness, loss, low cost counselling exeter, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, power, powerlessness, presence, psychiatric medication, relationship, relationship break up, self concept, self protection, separation, spirituality, spiritually awake, suffering, terror, toxic relationship, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Deeyah Khan ‘Women Are Part of the Solution to Extremism’

Posted on October 10, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/deeyah-khan/muslim-extremism-women_b_8251832.html?utm_hp_ref=uk&ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000067 Interesting, useful article by Deeyah. The writer (who is a woman) takes a reflective approach to posting pieces with a gendered approach. This is because her own sense is that the underlying issues in our cultures are about human … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, anger, blaming, bullying, civil rights, communication, compulsive behaviour, conflict, congruence, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, diversity, education, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, family systems, fear, feminine, Gender & culture, generational trauma, healing, human condition, identity, interconnection & belonging, masculine, non-conforming, objectification, paradigm shift, person centred, political, power and powerlessness, scapegoating, sexual violence, shaming, teaching, trauma, violence | Tagged activism, activism by Muslim women, affordable counselling exeter, alternate visions, challenging gender roles, coercion, coercive conformity, collaborative working, community, conflict, conforming, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative politics, depiction of Muslim women, depiction of women, detection of potential extremism, discrimination, distrust, division, divisive, empowering women within the family, empowerment, external locus, extremism, extremist religion, Family, female preachers, feminism, gender discrimination, gender divisions, gender roles, gender segregation, gender violence, generational trauma, handmaidens, human co-operation, human needs, Human Rights, human rights activists, independent sources of income for women, informing on family, injustice social justice, interconnection, interdependence, intergenerational trauma, International Civil Society Network, IRA, Islamic State, jihad brides, judgement, justice, Krista London Couture, Kurdish peshmerga, locus of power, low cost counselling exeter, male aggression, media bias, media depiction of Muslim women, media depiction of women, media distortion, media focus, men as leaders, men as warriors, militant organisations, Moroccan policy on extremism, Moroccan social strategy, Moroccan strategy on extremism, Moroccan women and economic power, Moroccan women and legal power, Morocco’s interpretation of family law, mourchidates, Muslim women activists, Muslim women preachers, non-conforming, non-violent interventions and extremism, oppression, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, passive roles, patriarchal family, patriarchal gender roles, patriarchal politics, peace, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, PKK, pluralist initiatives, pluralist vision, political context for violence, political credibility of women, politics, politics of militarisation, politics of securitisation, preventing extremism, prevention of extremism, prison system in Morocco, protesting, psychological context for violence, rape, reactionary, rise of extremist religion, roles, Sanam Anderlini-Naraghi, sex slaves, sexual violence, social context for violence, social order, social participation, social participation by women, social pressure to inform on others, social pressures, social roots, soft intervention, soft interventions and extremism, softer politics, solution to extremism, state encouragement to inform on family, supporting women, Tamil Tigers, tolerance, totalitarian strategies, transnational initiatives on extremism, transnational initiatives on violence, trust, ultra-conservativism, unifying, victim mindset, violence, violent militants, Western responses to violent extremism, women as passive, women as victims, women as victims of male aggression, women preachers, women's capability, women's empowerment, women's influence, women's rights activists, women’s rights in Morocco, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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