Tag Archives: choice

Gabor Maté on what becomes of the desolate child

Posted on November 4, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘Paul Gillespie still can’t get used to the sounds of crying and pain in the graphic videos of children being raped and molested that he has seen all too often on the Web. “It’s beyond horrible to listen to the … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, blaming, child development, childhood abuse, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, criminal justice model, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, ethics, fear, Gabor Mate, meaning, perception, pornography, power and powerlessness, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, trauma, trust, violence, vulnerability | Tagged addiction, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, alienation from self, alienation in relationship, alienation in society, altered consciousness, authority, awareness, belonging, bio psychosocial model, bio psychosocial perspective, biomedical model, child development, choice, connection, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, criminal justice system, cultural toxicity, denial, disconnection, dislocation, distress, empathy, expectation, fear, Gabor Mate, healing the past, hostility, impulse regulation, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, interconnectedness, interconnection, interdependence, loss of control, loss of meaning, low cost counselling exeter, manipulation, meaning of addiction, meaninglessness, medical model, meeting emotional need, mental health, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Paul Gillespie, perception, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, powerlessness, relationship, self concept, self medication, self regulation, self soothing, separation, social context of addiction, social isolation, social isolation and health, societal responsibility, socio-economic disadvantage, substitutes for meaning, toxic culture, toxic stress, trauma, traumatised populations, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | 1 Comment

Gabor Maté on Addiction, change & relationship with someone who is addicted

Posted on October 6, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘To live with an addict of any kind is frustrating, emotionally painful and often infuriating. Family, friends and spouse may feel they are dealing with a double personality: one sane and lovable, the other devious and uncaring. They believe the … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, accountability, actualizing tendency, anger, blaming, communication, compulsive behaviour, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, encounter, ethics, family systems, Gabor Mate, guilt, loss, person centred, power and powerlessness, relationship, research evidence, sadness & pain, self concept, shadow, shaming, transformation | Tagged 7 stages, acceptance, accepting others, acknowledging reality, addict, addiction, adult-to-adult relationships, affordable counselling exeter, anger, attempting to change others, autonomous, autonomy, blame, blaming, brain physiology, broken promises, changing others, choice, coercion, confrontation, consent, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dishonesty, double personality, Edward Deci, emotional withdrawal, family attitudes in addiction, fear, frustration, Gabor Mate, guilt, guilt and resentment, harmful behaviour, hostility, hurtful behaviour, intention, intervention, judgement, leaving an addict, low cost counselling exeter, Maia Szalawitz, manipulating, motivation, motivation and addiction, motivational techniques, not judging, nurture, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, person centred counselling exeter, punishing, punishment, rage, Realm of Hungry Ghosts, reforming an addict, rejecting, rejection, relationship with an addict, resenting, resentment, resentment in relationship, responsibility, sabotage in relationship, self abnegation, self concept, self-mastery, self-responsibility, self-sacrifice, self-structure, seven stages, shadow, shame, shaming, soul suicide, taking responsibility for another person's behaviour, tolerating behaviour, tough love, toxic relationship, unconditional acceptance, unreliability, wisdom, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Reclaiming Sweet Freedom – 23 things that we need not explain justify or defend – Isabel Abbott

Posted on September 22, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/09/reclaiming-sweet-freedom-23-things-that-we-need-not-explain-justify-or-defend/ Just gorgeous. This is written from the woman’s perspective, and the writer wants to expand it to include all of us (with any tweaks required to find the right fit for you). It’s wonderful, profound, poetic and important. Thanks, … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, awakening, beauty, blaming, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, dependence, diversity, Eating, Elephant Journal, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, fear, feminine, flow, Gender & culture, grief, growth, guilt, healing, human condition, humour, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, loss, love, meaning, mindfulness, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, paradigm shift, parenting, perception, person centred, physical being, political, power and powerlessness, pregnancy, presence, reality, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self esteem, sexual being, sexual orientation, shadow, shame, shaming, surrender, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged absence, accusation, affordable counselling exeter, Aftermath, apologising, apologizing, approval, art, authenticity, autonomy, awakening, becoming, belonging, boundaries, censoring, change, changing your mind, choice, comfort, compulsion, compulsive behaviour, conforming, conformity, connection, control, conviction, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, defending yourself, dependency, desire, disappointment, disapproval, discomfort, distortion, divorce, ecstasy, Elephant Journal, embodied being, embodiment, emotional abuse, emotions, ethics, experiential truth, explaining yourself, falling in love, fear, fear of being misunderstood, fear of food, feelings, feminism, freedom, gas lighting, gender, getting needs met, grief, growth, human needs, impulse, inexplicable sadness, inner work, integration, interconnection, interdependence, intimacy, invasive behaviour, Isabel Abbott, joy, judgement, judgment, learning, longing, loss, loss of self, love, loving ourselves, low cost counselling exeter, marriage, mindfulness, misunderstanding, need for reassurance, non-conforming, not knowing, obsession with food, oppression, organismic, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, perception, permission, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal work, personhood, presence, purging poison, rationalising, rationalizing, reality, reassurance, reclaiming self, regret, relationship, restlessness, right to be you, right to exist, sadness, saying no, self acceptance, self care, self defence, self doubt, self expression, self justification, self liberation, self realisation, self realization, sexual being, sexual love, sexuality, shadow, shame, shared narratives, social approval, story, surrender, terror, transformation, trauma, trust, trusting ourselves, truth, uncertainty, verbal abuse, vulnerability, wanting, witnessing, writing, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Neurons to Nirvana: Gabor Maté Interview

Posted on August 21, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

A wide-ranging collection of excerpts from an interview with Gabor Maté, covering addiction, ayahuasca, past experience, transitional states, Western medicine and the mind/body division, and much more besides. As always, he is very watchable and he talks sense. Well worth … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, anger, anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, blaming, child development, childhood abuse, cognitive, communication, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, conflict, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, criminal justice model, cultural questions, Disconnection, dying, ecological, ecological issues, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, ethics, external locus, fear, Gabor Mate, generational trauma, grief, growing up, healing, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, medical model, mindfulness, natural world, neuroscience, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, paradigm shift, parenting, perception, person centred, physical being, political, power and powerlessness, presence, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, scapegoating, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, shame, shaming, spirituality, surrender, sustainability, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trauma, trust, values & principles, violence, vulnerability | Tagged addiction, addiction as slavery, addiction to profit, addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, alienation at work, alienation from natural world, alienation from self, alienation in relationship, alienation in society, altered consciousness, anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, arrogance, attachment, authenticity, autonomy, awareness, Ayahuasca, belonging, bio psychosocial model, bio psychosocial perspective, biomedical model, Bruce Alexander, capitalism, ceremony, certainty, child development, choice, clarity, climate change, community, competition, connection, conscious, consumer society, consumerism, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, cultural toxicity, cultural toxicity and health, death, death as transition, denial, depression, disconnection, dislocation, distortion, distress, dying, ego, egoic mind, empathy, enlightenment, environmental stressors, Exeter Counselling, existential meaning, expanding choice, expanding freedom, expectation, false meaning, First Nations, forming intention, freedom, Gabor Mate, Gaia, Globalisation of Addiction, grace, healing the past, human arrogance, humility, impulse regulation, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, indigenous cultures, individualism, individuality, inner work, intention, interconnectedness, interconnection, interdependence, interdependent core, intimacy, intuition, loss of control, loss of meaning, low cost counselling exeter, manifestation, materialism, meaning of addiction, meaninglessness, medical model, medicine as ideology, meeting emotional need, mental health, mindfulness, moving between states, neuroscience, not knowing, nurture, opening the heart, openness, orende, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perception, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personal responsibility, plant medicine, plants as teachers, prayer, presence, psychedelic drugs, Psychosis, purging, receptivity, relationship, release, resistance, sacredness, sacrifice, scientific model, self awareness, self concept, self medication, self regulation, self soothing, separation, separation of mind and body, social context of addiction, social coping mechanisms, social isolation, social isolation and health, societal responsibility, socio-economic disadvantage, soul, spiritual teachers, spirituality, stewardship, stress and health, substitutes for meaning, surrender, teacher plants, therapeutic effect of community, therapeutic effect of relationship, Tibetan Buddhism, toxic culture, toxic stress, transience, transition, transitional states, trauma, traumatised populations, uncertainty, unconditional love, unconscious, UPR, web of life, western culture, Western individuality, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

John Bradshaw on Community (with some thoughts on person-centred supervision)

Posted on August 14, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘Community is a synthesis between mutuality and individuality. The truer the community, the more solid the individuals within it. To put it another way, people best achieve individuality in a true community and they create a true community only when … Continue reading →

Posted in blaming, communication, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, empowerment, encounter, equality, external locus, fear, growth, identity, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, loneliness, non-conforming, organismic experiencing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, paradigm shift, perception, person centred, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, scapegoating, self, self concept, shame, shaming, spirituality, supervision | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aloneness, authentic relationship, authenticity, authority, belonging, change, choice, collectivity, community, community as a living organism, community consciousness, congruence, connection, contact, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, Creating Love, demystification, dialogue, enmeshed relationship, establishing an identity, fantasy-bonded self-to-self trance, fear, feedback, growth, healthy separation, identity, individuality, individuation, infantile security, insecurity, insight, interconnectedness, interconnection, interdependence, interpersonal, John Bradshaw, loneliness, low cost counselling exeter, making mistakes, monologue, mutuality, mystification, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centered supervision, person centred counselling exeter, person-centred supervision, personal development, presence, religious communities, security, selfhood, separation, shame, soulful community, soulful relationship, subjective experience, supervision, toxic shame, understanding, will, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment