Tag Archives: binary

Guante ‘Ten Responses to the Phrase ‘Man up”

Posted on December 6, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the link above for Guante’s performance of his work on Button Poetry’s Facebook page. Aho. ‘Man up’ belongs in the ‘just don’t say it’ category…. Thanks, Guante, and also to Button Poetry and Angie Buchanan for posting this on Facebook … Continue reading →

Posted in communication, cultural questions, cultural taboos, Disconnection, diversity, emotions, empathy, empowerment, ethics, feminine, Gender & culture, growing up, healing, identity, kindness & compassion, loneliness, love, masculine, non-conforming, objectification, paradigm shift, parenting, perception, political, power and powerlessness, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, sexual being, sexual orientation, sexual violence, shadow, shame, shaming, vulnerability | Tagged activism, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, antisocial behaviour, approval, authority, autonomy, belittling, belonging, binary, blame, body image, bullying, Button Poetry, challenge, child development, claiming personal power, coercive conformity, coercive culture, community, compassion, competition, conditions of worth for boys, conditions of worth for men, conforming, conformity, confrontation, connectedness, conscious living, consciousness, contempt, controlling behaviour, controlling culture, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, cultural difference, cultural distortion, cultural diversity, culture of coercion, culture of control, culture of shame, cycles of shame, defensive, demonising maleness, demonising masculinity, demonizing maleness, demonizing masculinity, desensitization, destructive behaviour, developmental process, developmental trauma, disapproval, disconnection, discrimination, discrimination against men, displaced expression, distorted developmental process, distortions of masculine power, diversity, division, domination, educating boys, education, emotional awareness, emotional connection, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence in men, emotions, empathy, empathy in boys, empathy in men, empowerment, essence of the masculine, exclusion, external authority, external locus, fear, gender, gender and culture, gender and emotion, gender bias, gender discrimination, gender prejudice, Guante, humiliation, individuated man, individuation, inner truth, inner voice, internal dialogue, internalised values, internalized values, introjections, judgement, kindness, Kyle Tran Myhre, loneliness, loss, low cost counselling exeter, man up, masculine, masculine energies, masculine intuition, masculine norms, masculine nurture, masculinity, men and emotion, misuse of power, non-conforming, nurture in men, objectification, oppression, oppressor, ostracism, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paradigm shift, parenting, pathologising maleness, pathologising masculinity, pathologizing maleness, pathologizing masculinity, patriarchal behaviour, patriarchal culture, patriarchy, permission, person centred counselling exeter, personal discovery, personal journey, personal power, personal work, personhood, poetry as activism, political, projection, projective identification, projective reality, public shaming, punishment, punishment for not conforming, reclaiming the masculine, relationship, repression, ridicule, sacred feminine, sacred masculine, self concept, self distortion, self sufficiency, self suppression, self-structure, sensitivity, sensitivity as strength, separation, sexual diversity, sexual shaming, sexualisation of the masculine, sexualization of the masculine, shadow, shame, shaming, shaming as bloodsport, shaming men, shaming of maleness, social isolation, social pressure, stigma, stigmatising, stigmatizing, stoicism, subjective experience, suppression, unconscious behaviour, vulnerability, vulnerability as strength, wounded feminine, wounded masculine, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Charles Eisenstein on how a war begins

Posted on November 8, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

This Is How War Begins Click on the above link to visit Charles’ blog for this timely post, in the light of the U.S. election about to reach its outcome. We think the point he is making is essential. The … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', accountability, anger, blaming, Charles Eisenstein, communication, compassion, conflict, cultural questions, ethics, fear, kindness & compassion, objectification, perception, political, power and powerlessness, scapegoating, shadow, shaming, trauma, violence | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, atrocity stories, binary, blinded by privilege, Charles Eisenstein, civil war, climate of hate, coercion, cognitive dissonance, compassion, conditions for war, constructed reality, constructing narratives, constructing reality, contempt, corruption, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating conditions for war, cultural dehumanization, dehumanization, dehumanization and war, dehumanizing, dehumanizing narratives, demonizing, dialog skills, dialogue skills, distrust, Donald Trump, empathic understanding, empathy, entitlement, ethics, extreme measures, extreme polarization, extremism, forcible re-education, guilt by association, gulf of perception, haters, hatred, Hillary Clinton, ideologically constructed reality, Johnson, listening skills, low cost counselling exeter, mentality of war, name-calling, new story, non judgemental, Non Violent Communication, objectification, objectifying, old story, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, paranoia, person centred counselling exeter, polarisation, polarization, polarizing, political rhetoric, poll watchers, privilege, provoking contempt, rational persuasion, rationality, respectfulness, right-wing media, subhuman, Trump supporters, vitriol, voter intimidation, war hysteria, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Pema Chödrön: What to Do When You Lose It Completely

Posted on July 21, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Just under 3 minutes of gold from Pema. What she suggests is a pause, a directing of the attention inwards, rather than into an/another explosion outwards of resentment or aggression. The purpose is an opening and a softening, to self … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', anger, blaming, compassion, conflict, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, forgiveness, guilt, kindness & compassion, love, mindfulness, objectification, Pema Chödrön, perception, presence, resilience, self, self concept, shadow, shame, shaming, surrender, violence, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, aggression, anger management, armouring, binary, compassion, conditions of worth, conflict, conflict resolution, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, de-armoring, de-armouring, dearmoring, dearmouring, disconnecting, embodiment, emotional chain reaction, escalating conflict, escalating rage, feeling your feelings, fire energy, going off on others, guilt, heat of anger, losing it, low cost counselling exeter, managing rage, manifesting reality, meeting fear, meltdown, objectifying, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Pema Chödrön, person centered conflict resolution, person centred counselling exeter, polarisation, polarization, rage, reactivity, reconnecting, relational connection, remorse, repressing emotion, repressing feeling, resentment, responding, responding not reacting, responding to fear, self acceptance, self calming, self compassion, self concept, self criticism, self denigration, self enquiry, self soothing, shadow, Shambhala, shame, shaming, tenderness, unconditional love, violence, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Paul Gordon on art, complexity & ambiguity

Posted on July 20, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

This extract is from a recent acquisition to the library here, ‘The Hope of Therapy’ by Paul Gordon. He describes it as “an argument for… therapeutic freedom” as an essential element of creativity. His premise is that therapy cannot meaningfully be reduced to techniques, … Continue reading →

Posted in cognitive, communication, creativity, cultural questions, external locus, human condition, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, meaning, non-directive counselling, organismic experiencing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Paul Gordon, perception, poetry, political, psychiatry, reality, regulation, relationship, surrender | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, all things counter, ambiguity, binary, complexity, counselling exeter, counselling regulation, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creativity, diagnosis and disorder model, drunkenness of things being various, Ernest Hemingway, external locus, fear, Gerard Manley Hopkins, good and evil, Gustave Flaubert, Hills like white elephants, Hope of Therapy, intention, internal locus, interpretation, judging, Louis MacNeice, low cost counselling exeter, Marcel Proust, mental health model, Milan Kundera, non duality, not knowing, novel as a-philosophic, novels as anti-philosophic, organismic, over simplification, over simplifying, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, Paul Gordon, person centred counselling exeter, phenomenology, plural nature of things, pluralism, plurality, pre-conceived ideas, pre-interpretation, preconceived ideas, psychiatric model, psychotherapy regulation, purpose of story telling, regulating counselling, regulating psychotherapy, regulation of counselling, regulation of psychotherapy, Sigmund Freud, story-telling, therapeutic freedom, threat response, uncertainty, unconscious, unconsciousness, willingness, willingness not to define, willingness not to know, work of the novel, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

White Fragility: Why it’s hard to talk to white people about racism – Robin DiAngelo

Posted on July 10, 2016 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard to Talk to White People About Racism Click on the link for this excellent, highly topical article by Robin DiAngelo about the challenges white people (or any cultural elite) experience in adequately encountering and understanding … Continue reading →

Posted in accountability, blaming, civil rights, communication, conditions of worth, congruence, cultural questions, cultural taboos, Disconnection, education, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, identity, interconnection & belonging, meaning, Monica Cassani, paradigm shift, perception, political, power, power and powerlessness, reality, relationship, scapegoating, self, self concept, shadow, violence | Tagged activism, affordable counselling exeter, anti-intellectualism, authentic engagement, authentic interaction, authenticity, awareness, belonging, binary, bridging cross racial divides, bridging racial divides, challenge to authority, challenges to identity, complex thinking, conditioning, conditions of worth, conscious bias, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cross-racial relationship, cultural taboos, dealing with challenge, defending, destabilizing experience, difficult feedback, difficult feeling, disengagement, economic inequality, economic racism, embedded interests, embedded patterns, emotional opinions, empathy, encountering challenge, engagement, entitlement, equilibrium, frame of reference, good bad binary, Good Men Project, group membership, group power dynamics, group power relations, hierarchy, honest appraisal, humility, identity threat, ignorance, implicit bias, individualism, inequality, informed opinions, institutionalized racial power, intentional harm, internalised meanings, internalised messages, internalised patterns, internalized meanings, internalized messages, internalized patterns, internalized sense, isolation, Kate Feathers, lack of awareness, lack of humility, low cost counselling exeter, mainstream culture, mainstream media, meritocracy, minimising, minimizing, Monica Cassani, multicultural education, multiple perspectives, not belonging, objectivity, openness, oppression, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, penalisation, penalization, person centred counselling exeter, politics of oppression, power in groups, psychic freedom, race-based stress, racial arrogance, racial belonging, racial certitude, racial comfort, racial dominance, racial expectations, racial groups, racial hierarchies, racial illiteracy, racial inequality, racial interests, racial oppression, racial perspective, racial perspectives, racial power, racial prejudice, racial segregation, racial stress, racialized experience, racialized frame of reference, racism, racism as a system, racist acts, reassuring cultural messages, recovering equilibrium, reflection, refusal to continue engagement, religious iconography, responding to challenge, retaliation, Robin DiAngelo, segregation, self concept, self-structure, shadow, social science, social segregation, socialization, socially sanctioned responses, stereotyping, subjectivity, superiority, sustained engagement, system of racism, systematic racism, systemic racism, taboos, tolerance, triggers, uncomfortable feeling, unconscious bias, unequal access, unequal relationship, unfamiliar perspectives, unracialized identity, vested interests, white authority, white centrality, white defensiveness, white dominance, white entitlement, white fragility, white privilege, white racial innocence, white solidarity, white supremacy, white taboos, withdrawal, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Person-centred Basics – Janet Tolan on Labels

Posted on October 2, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

The third in our occasional series of some person-centred fundamentals. ‘There are many ways of describing people who use services such as housing, education and health. Some of these are also used of counselling clients: this client is “manipulative”, that … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, accountability, actualizing tendency, blaming, Carl Rogers, compassion, conditions of worth, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, diversity, empathy, encounter, ethics, external locus, fear, growth, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, Janet Tolan, love, meaning, non-conforming, non-directive counselling, objectification, organismic experiencing, perception, person centred, person centred theory, political, presence, psychiatry, reality, relationship, sadness & pain, shadow, shaming, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, unconditional positive regard, values & principles, working with clients | Tagged 19 Propositions, abusers, accountability, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, attention-seeking, autonomy, awareness, beliefs in therapy, belonging, binary, blame culture, blaming, Carl Rogers, co dependence, coercive culture, compassion, condemnation, conformity, connectedness, connection, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellor self awareness, counsellors Exeter, cultural coercion, cultural norms, cultural orthodoxy, cultural values, de-armouring, defensiveness, dependence, dependence in counselling, dependence in therapy, dependent client, dualistic, emotional landscape, empathic engagement, empathy, ethical tasks in therapy, ethics, fear, fear in counsellor, fear in therapist, goal-directed behaviour, gratitude, human needs, I it relationship, I Thou relationship, independent thinkers, independent thought, interconnectedness, interconnection, interdependence, internal frame of reference, internal locus, isolation, Janet Tolan, judgement in counselling, judgement in therapy, judgemental attitudes, labelling people, low cost counselling exeter, manipulative, Martin Buber, meeting needs indirectly, narcissist, narcissistic, neediness, needy client, Nineteen Propositions, non-conforming, objectifying, pain, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, PCA, perceived threat, perceptual field, perpetrators, person centered approach, person centred counselling exeter, person centred work with clients, person-centered, person-centred, person-centred approach, personal growth, personal landscape, personal therapy, personality theory, phenomenal field, projection, punishment, reality, responsibility, self concept, self-structure, shadow, shaming, Skills in Person-centred Counselling, social change, social conformity, social values, sociopath, survivors, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, therapist process, therapist self awareness, therapy training, toxic culture, trauma, us and them, victim blaming, victims, working with clients, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

How America’s Culture of Shame is a Killer for Boys – Mark Greene

Posted on April 28, 2015 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/megasahd-why-americas-culture-of-shame-is-killing-us/ This article by Mark is wonderful, and the writer was crying before the end…Although the title gives a masculine focus, the points made are valid for us all, however we self describe/make sense of gender. This is the second … Continue reading →

Posted in bullying, conditions of worth, cultural questions, emotions, empathy, fear, growing up, identity, kindness & compassion, Mark Greene, Monica Lewinsky, paradigm shift, parenting, political, power and powerlessness, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, shame, TED, trauma, vulnerability | Tagged addictive behaviour, affordable counselling exeter, alcohol abuse, alcoholism, alienation, antisocial behaviour, approval, authority, binary, body image, bullying, child development, Child Trends Data Bank, childhood trauma, coercive conformity, compassion, conformity, conscious parenting, contempt, corporal punishment, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, cruelty, cultural difference, cultural diversity, culture of shame, cycles of shame, defensive, delinquency, depression, despair, disapproval, diversity, divorce, drug abuse, external locus, fear, good enough, grief, humiliation, internal dialogue, internalised values, internalized values, introjections, kindness, listening, loss, low cost counselling exeter, Mark Greene, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, permission, person centred counselling exeter, personhood, political, problem behaviours in adolescence, psychological problems, public shaming, punishment, relationship, religious difference, Saliha Bava, self condemnation, self preservation, self-destructive behaviour, self-fulfilling prophesy, self-loathing, selfish, sexual diversity, sexual shaming, shame, shaming as bloodsport, spanking, spanking as shaming, www.goodmenproject.com, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment