Category Archives: therapeutic relationship

Toko-pa on Invitational presence

Posted on March 25, 2019 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Beautiful description of therapeutic relationship…and indeed relationship… Here’s the wording for anyone who has trouble following Facebook links:- “Whether we are looking to create closeness with others, with nature, or with the living mystery, an invitational presence is the prerequisite … Continue reading →

Posted in community, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, encounter, interconnection & belonging, love, person centred, presence, relationship, therapeutic relationship, Toko-pa | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, attention, attentive listening, attentiveness, being heard, being seen, belonging, closeness, communication, connectedness, connection, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating closeness, creating relationship, deep listening, empathy, encounter, expressing love, expressing understanding, feeling heard, feeling seen, I Thou, inseparability, interconnection, interconnection & belonging, interdependence, intimacy, invitational presence, listening, love, loving relationship, low cost counselling exeter, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, presence, relationship, sacred space, shared memory, tenderness, therapeutic relationship, Toko-pa, trust in relationship, welcoming presence, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Maya Luna, on staying with….

Posted on December 19, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Beautiful, accurate poem from Maya’s Facebook page. Here are the words, for anyone who has difficulty reading FB links:- “If you cannot help me If you cannot heal me If you cannot solve My problem Will you stay anyways? Just … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, core conditions, cultural questions, emotions, empathy, encounter, grief, healing, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, Maya Luna, person centred, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, surrender, tears, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged accompanying, accompanying another, accompanying someone, affordable counselling exeter, being alongside, brokenness, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, feeling broken, holding space, low cost counselling exeter, Maya Luna, mend my life, not fixing, not trying to fix, other as mirror, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, trust the process, trusting the process, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Marion Woodman on the power of love

Posted on September 3, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Love is the real power. It’s the energy that cherishes. The more you work with that energy, the more you will see how people respond naturally to it, and the more you will want to use it. It brings out … Continue reading →

Posted in healing, love, Marion Woodman, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, experiencing acceptance, feeling emotions, love and growth, low cost counselling exeter, Marion Woodman, offering love, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, real feeling, receiving nurture, reparenting, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self love, self nurture, therapeutic relationship, why love matters, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Thich Nhat Hanh on those who harm others

Posted on June 5, 2018 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” Thich Nhat Hanh This feels wholly … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', communication, compassion, conflict, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, encounter, fear, friendship, growth, healing, human condition, interconnection & belonging, love, person centred, person centred theory, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, Thích Nhất Hạnh, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, being received in relationship, being seen, conflicting needs in relationship, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dehumanising, dehumanizing, effect of suffering, healing relationship, human cruelty, human relationship, low cost counselling exeter, meaning of suffering, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, passing pain on, passing suffering on, person centred counselling exeter, personal growth, relationship that heals, Thích Nhất Hạnh, therapeutic relationship, transmitting pain, transmitting suffering, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

I’m a Therapist, But I’m Not Your Therapist – Kathleen Smith

Posted on December 30, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://www.thecut.com/2017/12/therapist-friends-ask-for-advice.html?utm_campaign=sou&utm_source=fb&utm_medium=s1 Click on the link above for Kathleen’s thoughtful and perceptive piece…. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter Counselling in Exeter since 1994

Posted in boundaries, communication, community, conditions of worth, congruence, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, ethics, friendship, growth, healing, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, non-directive counselling, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, vulnerability | Tagged advice and therapy, affordable counselling exeter, asking advice, assumptions, autonomy, boundaries, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, expectations in relationship, expectations of self, internal locus, Kathleen Smith, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, prophet in own land, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

What Taking Care of Yourself Really Means – Elizabeth Gilbert

Posted on August 29, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/Elizabeth-Gilbert-Practical-Ways-To-Practice-Self-Care?FB=fb_sss_gilbert_self_care Click on the link above for this vitally important and approachable piece by Liz Gilbert (‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and ‘Big Magic’) on how to make sense of the – so difficult for so many – idea of loving yourself:- … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embodiment, empathy, encounter, fear, healing, identity, kindness & compassion, love, Mary Oliver, metaphor & dream, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shame, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged abuse and trauma, abused, affordable counselling exeter, beyond fear, Big Magic, blame cycles, blame model, caring for yourself, Cole Porter, communicating affection, communicating love, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative living, dealing with abuse, dealing with trauma, desperation, edge of terror, effect of lack of love, Elizabeth Gilbert, engaging with agitation, experiencing loneliness, experiencing stress, expressing affection, expressing love, fear of abandonment, fear of being abandoned, fear of being hurt, fear of being left, fear of hurt, how do I love myself, how to love, inner animal, lack of love, Liz Gilbert, loving care, loving yourself, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, managing abuse, Mary Oliver, merely mammals, neglect, neglected animal, neuroses, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, playing, practicing self care, practising self care, raising self esteem, responding to agitation, responding to trauma, Self, self abandonment, self abuse, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self harm, self hatred, self love, self neglect, self stewardship, self-responsibility, shame and blame, shame cycles, showing affection, showing love, soft animal, taking care of your animal, taking care of yourself, tenderness, terror, trauma response, traumatisation, traumatization, traumatized animal, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

What Chester Bennington’s death tells us about mental health awareness

Posted on July 23, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://doctorgoatblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/22/what-chester-benningtons-death-tells-us-about-mental-health-awareness/ Click on the link above for this wise, heartful post by an anonymous blogger who identifies as Dr Goat. This expresses much of how we make sense of human distress at this service. There is (for example) no evidence … Continue reading →

Posted in anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, borderline personality disorder, CBT, childhood abuse, community, cultural questions, cultural taboos, diagnoses of bipolar, Disconnection, DSM, emotions, empowerment, ethics, external locus, healing, hearing voices, interconnection & belonging, medical model, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, paradigm shift, perception, political, psychiatric abuse, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, psychosis, relationship, sadness & pain, schizophrenia, self concept, self esteem, shame, shaming, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trauma, values & principles, violence, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged 1 in 4, accessing support, accumulated distress, ACES, addiction, addressing past trauma, Adverse Childhood Exeperiences, adverse circumstances, adverse events, affordable counselling exeter, anxiety, anxiety and depression, art and trauma, being functional, bereaved by suicide, Big Phama, biomedical intervention, biomedical reductionism, building community, bullying, CBT, CBT as temporary fix, changing behaviour without addressing causes, chemical imbalance theory, Chester Bennington, childhood trauma, cognitive behavioural therapy, collective responsibility to each other, continuing adversity, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, coward’s way out, cuts to health and social care, dealing with abuse, dealing with neglect, dealing with violence, death by suicide, depression, depression as brain disorder, depression as disease, depression as illness, do mental health problems go away, DSM5, economic productivity as measure of worth, effect of bereavement, effect of trauma on health, effect of trauma on well being, emotional states, empathy, enhancing community, enhancing mental health, enhancing relationship, enhancing well being, equating medical with valid, expanded diagnostic criteria, expanding diagnostic criteria, expressing grief, expressing sadness, expressing sorrow, feeling ashamed, feeling embarrassed, feeling shame, fight flight freeze, grief process, grieving process, impact of bereavement, impact of trauma, impact of traumatic experience, individual pathology, interbeing, interconnection, interdependence, invalidating distress, judgemental, Linkin Park, loneliness, long term recovery, low cost counselling exeter, manifestations of mental distress, medical pathology, medical validation of distress, medicalisation of distress, medicalisation of emotion, medicalisation of feeling, medicalisation of human experience, medicalisation of sadness, medicalization of distress, medicalization of emotion, medicalization of feeling, medicalization of human experience, medicalization of sadness, mental distress, mental health awareness, mental health problems, mental health recovery, mental health stigma, mental health support, natural human reactions, need for recovery time, need for rest, need for time to adjust, normal emotions, not functioning, ongoing adversity, over medicalisation, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parity of esteem, past trauma, person centred counselling exeter, person’s context, post traumatic stress, promoting mental health, promoting well being, psychiatric reductionism, public grief, pull yourself together, reactions to suicide, reductionism in biomedical model, relationship breakdown, relationship failure, responding to distress, sexual abuse, shame, social causes of mental distress, social causes of mental health problems, suicide is selfish, suicide narrative, underlying issues, understanding mental health, unresolved distress, vulnerability, whole person, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | 1 Comment

‘People (often) don’t need help. They need love. Acceptance’ Monica Cassani

Posted on June 12, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://beyondmeds.com/2017/06/10/people-dont-need-help/ Click on the above link to visit Monica Cassani’s superb resource site: http://www.beyondmeds.com This post describes person-centred in a nutshell, and is what we seek to offer at this service: holding loving space for a person as they explore … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, autonomy, client as 'expert', congruence, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, ethics, external locus, growth, healing, love, Monica Cassani, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, person centred, person centred theory, power and powerlessness, psychiatry, self, self concept, self esteem, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, working with clients | Tagged acceptance, acceptance in relationship, acceptance in therapy, actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, autonomy in counselling, autonomy in therapy, being broken, brokenness, client as expert, client as whole, core conditions, counselling ethics, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, diminishing relationship, discovering who you are, disempowering, disempowerment in counselling, disempowerment in therapy, egalitarianism, empowering, encounter, equality in therapy, ethic of service, external locus, feeling broken, fixing and helping, healing power of acceptance, helping and fixing, holding space, holistic approach, holistic approach to mental illness, holistic well being, in it together, inner journey, inner landscape, inner work, interior landscape, labeling, labelling, Lived Experience, low cost counselling exeter, mental health labels, mental health model, Monica Cassani, need for acceptance, non hierarchical relationship, non-directive counselling, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, perpetrating counsellor, perpetrating healer, perpetrating therapist, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, personhood, politics of oppression, providing support, Rachel Naomi Remen, reductive relationship, safe space, self concept, self esteem, self-structure, sense of wholeness, space holding, unconditional positive regard, UPR, www.beyondmeds.com, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Hermann Hesse on Wisdom

Posted on June 7, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Short, sweet, hugely important…. “Wisdom cannot be imparted. Wisdom that a wise man attempts to impart always sounds like foolishness to someone else … Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, do wonders through … Continue reading →

Posted in actualizing tendency, client as 'expert', cognitive, communication, consciousness, empowerment, encounter, growth, internal locus of evaluation, person centred, person centred theory, teaching, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, working with clients | Tagged actualising, actualizing, affordable counselling exeter, autonomy, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, Hermann Hesse, Hermann Hesse on learning, Hermann Hesse on wisdom, internal locus, low cost counselling exeter, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, Siddhartha, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Laura Delano on Feeling your feelings, empathy, compassion – & the shrink

Posted on June 2, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Click on the above link to visit Laura’s Facebook page, for this moving, accurate, important post. We work outside the ‘mental health’/psychiatric system and terminology here. We choose our therapists for their willingness to do their own work and their … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, actualizing tendency, autonomy, awakening, civil rights, client as 'expert', clients' perspective, compassion, consent, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, DSM, emotions, empathy, equality, ethics, fear, grief, growth, healing, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, Laura Delano, medical model, non-conforming, non-directive counselling, organismic experiencing, Palace Gate Counselling Service, perception, person centred, power and powerlessness, presence, psychiatric abuse, psychiatric drugs, psychiatry, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, self esteem, shadow, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, values & principles, violence, vulnerability, working with clients | Tagged abuse, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, aliveness, authentic being, authenticity, awareness, belonging, big feelings, biomedical model, biomedical reductionism, blaming, carrying collective shadow, carrying shadow for others, coercive conformity, coercive drug treatment, coercive psychiatric treatment, collective shadow, compassion based relating, compassionate encounter, conditions of worth, conformity, connecting in relationship, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, crying frequently, cultural shadow, desecration, discrimination, disease and disorder model, embodied wisdom, embodiment, emotional awareness, emotional connection, emotions as wisdom, encounter, existential meaning, expanding awareness, experiencing anger, experiencing despair, experiencing grief, experiencing joy, external locus, fear, fear as motivating emotion, fear based behaviour, fear based paradigm, fear of self, fear of your own power, grieving process, holding sacred space, immanence, insecurity, intense emotion, intense emotional states, interbeing, interconnectedness, interconnection, intolerance, labelling people, lack of awareness, Laura Delano, loneliness, low cost counselling exeter, meaning, medical model, medical reductionism, medicalisation of distress, medicalization of distress, mental health labelling, mental illness, mirroring, modelling compassion, modelling love based relationship, modelling ways of being, mourning process, mystification, neglect, non-conforming, nothing is wrong with you, oppression, organismic experiencing, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, pathologising distress, pathologising emotion, pathologising feeling, pathologizing distress, pathologizing emotion, pathologizing feeling, patriarchy, person centred counselling exeter, person centred relationship, personal shadow, power, power imbalance, power of being seen, power of crying, power of surrender, power of vulnerability, powerlessness, presence, psychiatric disempowerment, psychiatric drugs, psychiatric labeling, psychiatric labelling, psychiatric model, psychiatric reductionism, reclaiming your power, recovering from psychiatry, reductionism in biomedical model, reductionism in psychiatry, relational communication, relational connection, relational presence, relationship, relationship heals, sacred expression, sacred space, sacredness of feelings, scapegoating, scientific reductionism, self concept, self-structure, shame, shyness, social control, social isolation, therapeutic process, therapeutic relationship, too emotional, trauma, unresolved trauma, violence, wounded healer, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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