Category Archives: compassion

Screaming to sleep, Part One: The moral imperative to end ‘cry it out’ Amy Wright Glenn

Posted on November 2, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.phillyvoice.com/screaming-sleep/ Click on the link above to visit Philly Voice’s site for this great piece by Amy. If you are a parent, or thinking about being a parent, or if you work with parents, read this… Too many unintentionally traumatised … Continue reading →

Posted in boundaries, child development, cognitive, communication, compassion, cultural questions, dependence, Disconnection, emotions, empathy, ethics, family systems, generational trauma, growing up, interconnection & belonging, love, parenting, power and powerlessness, presence, regulation, relationship, sleep, touch, trust, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, Aha Parenting, Amy Wright Glenn, attachment theory, authentic relationship, babies are not manipulative, babies’ needs, baby care, bad habits in babies, basic human needs, biological dyads, biological sync, bonding with your baby, bonds of attachment, brain connectivity, can babies remember, Caroline Fertleman, child care, child development, childhood development, childhood needs, CIO, co sleeping, coercing children, coercive behaviour, conditioning children, conscious parenting, control and compliance, controlled crying, controlling parental behaviour, coping strategies, coping with stress, coping with trauma, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creating autonomy, creating independence, cry it out, crying and cortisol levels, crying babies, developing empathy, development of implicit memory, dominating behaviour, doula, Dr Benjamin Spock, early childhood development, Elizabeth Pantley, emotional regulation, emotional self regulation, enforced compliance, enforced submission, evolutionary attachment theory, evolutionary biology, extinction method, family bed, feeding overnight, forced sleep, forming attachments, forming identity, forming secure attachments, generational trauma, Gentle Sleep Book, gentle sleep training, growing empathy, hold your babies, human anthropology, ignoring a baby’s needs, ignoring crying, implicit memory, importance of connection, importance of contact, importance of touch, infant development, innate need, John Bowlby, lack of support for parents, Laura Markham, learning to self settle, leaving a baby to cry, low cost counselling exeter, managing stress, managing trauma, manipulative as term of abuse, meeting needs, mother and baby as conjoined unit, mother baby dyad, neocortex development, neocortex in babies, neocortex in toddlers, new parent, night waking as normal, night waking in babies, No Cry Sleep Solution, normal physiological behaviour in babies, normal sleep patterns for babies, normal sleep patterns in infancy, paediatric sleep, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, parenting, parenting boundaries, Peaceful Parent Happy Kids, person centred counselling exeter, presence, pro social behavior, protective mechanisms in infants, regulation of emotional responses, Richard Ferber, Sarah Ockwell Smith, secure attachment bonds, secure dependence, self preservation, self protection, self regulating, self regulating in babies, self regulation, self settle, self soothing, self soothing in babies, sensitive caregiving, settling babies, settling your baby, shaming mothers, shaming parents, Simone Cave, sleep experts, sleep trainers, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problem, stress mechanisms, supporting parents, why love matters, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Marshall Rosenberg on criticism of self/other

Posted on November 1, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, “‘What will they think of me?’ must be put aside for bliss.” … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, blaming, compassion, core conditions, cultural questions, empathy, Joseph Campbell, Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication, objectification, perception, relationship, unconditional positive regard | Tagged acceptance, affordable counselling exeter, blame model, blaming, bliss, compassion, core conditions, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, dehumanising, dehumanizing, derogatory, empathy, ethic of service, expressions of trauma, fault and blame, Joseph Campbell, judging others, low cost counselling exeter, Marshall Rosenberg, opportunities to give, othering, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, punitive, self judgement, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Matt Licata on Ego

Posted on October 4, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘Ego’ for many of us becomes a term of abuse for self/other and source of shame. Here’s a radically different and far more accurate/useful take on this…. Thanks, Matt. Here’s the text for those who have difficulty seeing Facebook links:- … Continue reading →

Posted in blaming, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, encounter, human condition, identity, kindness & compassion, love, Matt Licata, meaning, meditation, organismic experiencing, perception, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shame, shaming, spirituality, vulnerability | Tagged 'eating disorder', abandoning experience, addictive behavior, addictive behaviour, addictive eating, affordable counselling exeter, anxious avoidant attachment, aroused nervous system, attachment, attachment figures, attuning to experience, avoiding feeling, avoiding pain, avoiding suffering, blaming, claustrophobia, coming home to yourself, compassionate response, compensatory behavior, compensatory behaviour, complaining, compulsive eating, conceptual spirituality, conscious awareness, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, critical thoughts, cycle of abandonment, denying experience, denying feelings, denying pain, denying reality, disembodied, disembodiment, disordered eating, dissociation, doorway into wholeness, ego, ego as process, embodied response, embodied vulnerability, emotional suffering, empathy, escaping vulnerability, existential meaning, experience distant, experiencing ego, experiential, experiential learning, feeling unsafe, Great Mystery, heartbreak, heavy heart, humanness, invitation into presence, kind curiosity, kindness to self, limbic fight flight, longing, low cost counselling exeter, managing anxiety, Matt Licata, meaning of ego, meditative enquiry, moving away from pain, othering, overwhelming anxiety, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, panic, person centred counselling exeter, personal process, presence, process, projective identification, rage, restlessness, returning home, sadness, self abandonment, self aggression, self blaming, self care, self compassion, self empathy, self enquiry, self love, self nurture, self shaming, shame, shaming, spirituality, splitting, vulnerability, warmth, what is ego, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk, yogic response | Leave a comment

Rachel Naomi Remen on the wounded healer

Posted on September 26, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“Wounding and healing are not opposites. They’re part of the same thing. It is our wounds that enable us to be compassionate with the wounds of others. It is our limitations that make us kind to the limitations of other … Continue reading →

Posted in compassion, core conditions, empathy, encounter, healing, kindness & compassion, loneliness, presence, Rachel Naomi Remen, relationship, sadness & pain, shame | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, being ashamed, being compassionate with others, compassion, compassionate attention, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, feeling shame, holding space, low cost counselling exeter, offering compassion, offering empathy, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, Rachel Naomi Remen, why we need our limitations, wounded healer, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Jason Hine on what to do, if you don’t know how to love today

Posted on September 21, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Here’s the text, for those who have difficulty seeing Facebook links:- “If you don’t know how to love today or you are stressed, or in sadness or can’t feel your heart today, then just do some tiny thing, some little … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, compassion, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, Jason Hine, kindness & compassion, love, natural world, physical being, presence, sadness & pain, touch, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, embodiment, from the heart, Jason Hine, loving your animal, low cost counselling exeter, not knowing how to love, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, re-embodiment, re-embodying, self care, self love, soft animal, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Spinning Straw – Tracy Cochran

Posted on September 12, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

https://parabola.org/2017/07/30/spinning-straw-by-tracy-cochran/?utm_content=buffer9bcb5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer Click on the link above to visit the site for Parabola Magazine for this remarkable reworking of the Brothers Grimm. It is not long since we published a piece by Tracy – but the writer stumbled upon this at … Continue reading →

Posted in 'evil', abuse, acceptance, accountability, autonomy, beauty, blaming, boundaries, bullying, cognitive, compassion, compulsive behaviour, conditions of worth, consciousness, consent, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, empathy, empowerment, fear, feminine, good, gratitude, grief, growth, guilt, identity, interconnection & belonging, kindness & compassion, loneliness, loss, love, meaning, metaphor & dream, objectification, perception, power, power and powerlessness, relationship, resilience, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shadow, surrender, Tracy Cochran, transformation, vulnerability | Tagged abandonment, abuse of power, acceptance by the tribe, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, aloneness, ancestors, armouring, Arthur Rackham, asking the impossible, autonomy, autonomy and acceptance, autonomy and belonging, bargaining, being in the shadows, being invisible, being left, being more, being unable to hold boundaries, betrayal, betraying love, betraying truth, betraying what you love, bitterness, boundaries, Brothers Grimm, causing harm, compassion, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, craving life, cut off from life, dare to be straw, deepest humanity, desecrated, desperation, diminishing ourselves, disconnection, divided, doing more, doing the math, ego mind, embodiment, empathy, emptiness, empty life, entitlement, everyone is special, everything is sacred, everything is special, evolutionary biology, existential emptiness, existential meaning, fairy tales, fear as a driver, fear of death, fear of loss, fear reaction, feeding people, feeling connected, feeling invisible, finding a place, finding balance, finding your reflection in another, folklore, fully alive, good enough, Great Mystery, guilt, having a place, having choice, heartfulness, here and now, holding yourself apart from love, holy work, how to live, humility, identity, inner smallness, internal division, invading boundaries, isolating behaviour, joy of connecting, joy of connection, keeping yourself alone, keeping yourself separate, knowing another, knowing each other, lacking choice, learning how to live, life is more precious than gold, listening without judgment, little rattle stilt, living experience, living fully, locating yourself, losing yourself, loss and grief, low cost counselling exeter, meeting needs indirectly, meeting needs obliquely, metamorphosis, metaphor, mind limitation, mind trap, mirror of another, mirror of love, mortality, myth, nameless, needing others, newborn, no such thing as magic, no-one is special, non possessive love, not good enough, not knowing yourself, not special, nothing is sacred, nothing is special, objectification, objectifying, ordinary and sacred, othering, otherworldly, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, power and powerlessness, power over, present moment, privilege, promises and betrayal, pure love, rage, reflection of love, relationship as transaction, remembering ourselves, resilience, responding and reacting, Rumplestiltskin, sacred love, sacredness, science and magic, science not magic, self acceptance, self armouring, self awareness, self betrayal, self concept, self denigration, self enclosed, self enclosure, self hate, self isolation, self knowledge, self limitation, self love, self rejection, self-structure, sense of sacred, shadow, small self, speaking unwisely, speaking wildly, spinning straw, spinning straw into gold, splitting, story-telling, stuckness, submissiveness, submitting, surrender, survival and acceptance, survival and belonging, telling tales, the first mother, The Heart of Oak Books, the wheel turned, the witness, Tracy Cochran, transformation, transience, trapped in your head, trying to explain, trying to save ourselves, trying to save yourself, turning wheel, unbounded love, unconditional love, using others, value of being alive, value of life, wanting approval, wanting closeness, wanting connection, wanting to be acceptable, wanting to be close, wanting to be known, wanting to be seen, wanting to belong, wanting to feel important, wanting to matter, wanting to please, web of life, what keeps us from love, wholesome work, without consent, without judgment, witnessing consciousness, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Alice Walker’s Beatitudes

Posted on September 8, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

“HELPED are those who are content to be themselves; they will never lack mystery in their lives and the joys of self-discovery will be constant. HELPED are those who love the entire cosmos rather than their own tiny country, city, … Continue reading →

Posted in Alice Walker, awakening, community, compassion, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, ecological, ecological issues, embodiment, empathy, encounter, ethics, flow, forgiveness, good, gratitude, grief, growth, healing, human condition, identity, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, natural world, paradigm shift, perception, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, sadness & pain, self, sustainability, transformation, trauma, trust, values & principles, vulnerability | Tagged affordable counselling exeter, Alice Walker, beatitudes, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, low cost counselling exeter, modern beatitudes, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, rewritten beatitudes, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Oriah Mountain Dreamer – The Invitation

Posted on September 1, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

‘It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, awakening, beauty, compassion, congruence, consciousness, core conditions, creativity, Dance, embodiment, emotions, empathy, encounter, fear, flow, friendship, gratitude, grief, human condition, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, love, meaning, mindfulness, natural world, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, perception, poetry, power and powerlessness, presence, reality, relationship, resilience, risk, sadness & pain, self, self concept, surrender, transformation, vulnerability, wonder | Tagged adventure of being alive, affordable counselling exeter, aliveness, authenticity, avoiding pain, beauty and prettiness, being seen, being true to self, betrayal, closing your heart, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, ecstasy, ecstatic dance, encounter, existential meaning, experiencing pain, feeling alive, fully alive, going through the fire, grace, grief and loss, grief process, grieving process, heart's longing, holding space, intimacy, Invitation, letting ourselves be seen, living your truth, low cost counselling exeter, meeting adversity, needing to hide, not fixing, not rescuing, not solving, opening and closing, opening emotionally, opening your heart, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, presence, realness, resilience, resourcing yourself, self protection, self resourcing, sense of limitation, sense of possibility, sitting with pain, speaking your truth, standing in the fire, true to self, trying to avoid pain, wildness, willingness to be seen, willingness to take risks, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

Be An Island – Tracy Cochran

Posted on August 31, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

Be an Island Click on the above link to visit Tracy’s own site for this helpful piece, which we found through Parabola Magazine on Facebook. Some of the fundamentals around mindfulness practice, presence and gratitude. Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter … Continue reading →

Posted in acceptance, autonomy, awakening, community, compassion, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, embodiment, emotions, encounter, external locus, fear, flow, gratitude, immanence, interconnection & belonging, internal locus of evaluation, kindness & compassion, loneliness, meaning, meditation, mindfulness, natural world, organismic experiencing, perception, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, spirituality, surrender, transformation, trust, wonder | Tagged 4 directions, 7 directions, acceptance of change, affordable counselling exeter, alienation, aliveness, Alphonse Osbert, ancestors, and this too shall pass, autonomy, basic goodness, be an island, be islands, be refuges, being grounded, born anew, bringing attention to our experience, building stories, change and acceptance, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, craving, craving and dopamine, cultivating the witness, death and meaning, desire and dopamine, desiring, dropping down, dropping judgment, ego mind, emotional reactions, everything passes, existential meaning, experiencing without reacting, external locus, feeling cut off, feeling isolated, finding ground, finding meaning, finding stillness, focusing attention, four directions, freedom, fully alive, giving gratitude, giving thanks, gratitude, gratitude practice, Great Mystery, grounded, here and now, holistic, human craving, human desire, human loneliness, human responsiveness, human wanting, hypervigilance, immanence, in the present moment, inhabiting experience, internal locus, introjection, Kodo Sawaki Roshi, learn to relax, learning to relax, letting go, letting go of judgment, living experience, living fully, low cost counselling exeter, making sense of life, making sense of living, meaning of life, meditation, microcosm and macrocosm, mindfulness, mortality and meaning, observing without reacting, obsession, organism always up to something, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, part of the flow, part of the whole, paying attention, person centred counselling exeter, posterior cingulate cortex, practice of meditation, presence, prizing independence, quieting the mind, reacting and responding, reactive emotion, recovering spontaneity, remember who you are, resistance, resistance and suffering, resting in the beat, root of suffering, Roshi, rumination, self sufficient, settling, seven directions, Silence of the Water, spirituality, spontaneity, standing down, staying with now, still point, stillness, telling stories, the way of the Buddha, Tracy Cochran, transformation, transience, transience and meaning, trusting experience, trusting intuition, value of life, ways of grounding, wholeness, witnessing, wonder, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

What Taking Care of Yourself Really Means – Elizabeth Gilbert

Posted on August 29, 2017 by Palace Gate Counselling Service

http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/Elizabeth-Gilbert-Practical-Ways-To-Practice-Self-Care?FB=fb_sss_gilbert_self_care Click on the link above for this vitally important and approachable piece by Liz Gilbert (‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and ‘Big Magic’) on how to make sense of the – so difficult for so many – idea of loving yourself:- … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, acceptance, compassion, conditions of worth, consciousness, cultural questions, Disconnection, Elizabeth Gilbert, embodiment, empathy, encounter, fear, healing, identity, kindness & compassion, love, Mary Oliver, metaphor & dream, physical being, power and powerlessness, presence, sadness & pain, self, self concept, shame, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, transformation, trauma, trust, vulnerability | Tagged abuse and trauma, abused, affordable counselling exeter, beyond fear, Big Magic, blame cycles, blame model, caring for yourself, Cole Porter, communicating affection, communicating love, conditions of worth, counselling exeter, counsellor Exeter, counsellors Exeter, creative living, dealing with abuse, dealing with trauma, desperation, edge of terror, effect of lack of love, Elizabeth Gilbert, engaging with agitation, experiencing loneliness, experiencing stress, expressing affection, expressing love, fear of abandonment, fear of being abandoned, fear of being hurt, fear of being left, fear of hurt, how do I love myself, how to love, inner animal, lack of love, Liz Gilbert, loving care, loving yourself, low cost counselling exeter, low self esteem, managing abuse, Mary Oliver, merely mammals, neglect, neglected animal, neuroses, Palace Gate Counselling Service, Palace Gate Counselling Service Exeter, person centred counselling exeter, person-centered, person-centred, playing, practicing self care, practising self care, raising self esteem, responding to agitation, responding to trauma, Self, self abandonment, self abuse, self acceptance, self care, self compassion, self concept, self harm, self hatred, self love, self neglect, self stewardship, self-responsibility, shame and blame, shame cycles, showing affection, showing love, soft animal, taking care of your animal, taking care of yourself, tenderness, terror, trauma response, traumatisation, traumatization, traumatized animal, vulnerability, www.palacegatecounselling.org.uk | Leave a comment

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