Ending Power Struggles with Children – Hand in Hand Parenting – Patty Wipfler


At the heart of person centred is the idea that we each have inherent value, and that there is a fundamental equality between us. Whatever differences there may be in our life experience, culture, age, gender, race, ability, education, ways of seeing ourselves etc etc are the hazards of chance and the mysterious workings of the universe. Our differences are local and temporary. Somewhere under this and beyond it, and in the heart of each one of us, lies what is immutable and sacred – this is the realm of the higher self, the actualised potential, the soul, the orende, the divine spark within us all….whatever your personal conceptual system and language may be for approaching that idea.

So also at the heart of person-centred is the giving of intention and paying of attention to behaving congruently with these principles of value and equality. That’s what the core conditions are about. One important way we can breathe life into this is to consider any relationship in terms of where the power is. How can we work with that, to support a sense of value and equality in ourselves and each other – and thereby create intimacy and trust?

This is a lovely piece looking at how we might approach that within the parent/child relationship, where so much of the outcome depends on how we inhabit the complex landscapes of autonomy, belonging, self determination, learning, protection, nurture, control and surrender. As always, it comes back to the simplicity of the core conditions, by any other name….

Gratitude to Patty Wipfler and Hand in Hand Parenting.

The site has lots of other resources and articles, and is well worth a visit. Here’s the Facebook link too:-


Oh, and here is a link to an earlier post with a linked theme:-


Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter

Counselling in Exeter since 1994

This entry was posted in acceptance, actualizing tendency, child development, communication, compassion, consent, core conditions, creativity, cultural questions, dependence, diversity, education, emotions, empathy, empowerment, encounter, equality, family systems, flow, growing up, Hand in Hand Parenting, interconnection & belonging, love, non-directive counselling, organismic experiencing, parenting, perception, person centred, person centred theory, power and powerlessness, presence, relationship, self, self concept, self esteem, spirituality, teaching, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, values & principles, vulnerability and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.