There is a mantra, not sure where from:-
‘Courage to give, courage to take, courage to receive.’
…the point being we need all three. Many of us favour one kind of courage in this sense, to the detriment of the others.
This beautiful post by Toko-pa covers receiving – neither taught nor encouraged in our culture, and challenging for those who have a ‘giving’ landscape.
‘At the heart of it, I think we avoid the receptive state because it penetrates our public presentations and takes us right into the question of worthiness. Am I deserving of this goodness? This happiness? This pleasure? Do I deserve to stand in this circle? Take up room? Be heard?’
We might all do well to pay attention to this balance within our lives. As Toko-pa says at the end of this piece:-
‘When we ask for help, we are building community. We are doing away with this notion that we should be practicing at detachment. We are rapturously attaching! We become responsible for tending to one another’s pieces. Not only is the giver allowed to express their bestowing heart, the receiver is taken into a greater tenderness of their own giving nature. As we grow our capacity for gratitude, which is another way of saying completeness, or belonging, we are healing our tinygiant part of the world’s devastating wound of scarcity.’
Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter
Counselling Exeter since 1994