Aaron Paquette on Addiction

This link is to Aaron’s Facebook page. Aaron is a First Nations Metis artist, author and speaker, based in Edmonton, Aberta. This post is about addiction. He makes sense of this much as we do at this service, and similarly to Gabor Mate, also regularly featured here:-

‘…..what we are really seeing is an emptiness and a fear, absolutely brought on by some childhood pain………..


Addiction is a weird thing. It feels like you are controlling your circumstances by engaging in an activity that will make your pain or emptiness ‘better’. But of course, all you are doing in the long run is falling wildly out of control.

It’s an impulse, a driving need, a fleeing from uncertainty and a world of danger with no hope of forgiveness. It’s a numbing of fear and a deep-seated feeling that there is no reliable safety to be found.

So it manifests as either self harm or other harm (which is really, in the end, another form of self harm).

Substance abuse, self abuse, other abuse – these are what we generally think of when we think of addiction.

But addiction can also show itself in other ways: as compulsive shopping, hoarding, never-ending forays to the internet, chronic tv watching or uncontrollable eating habits.

Addiction can be manifested in never ending streams of relationships, partners, or even jobs’

We also agree with him on the antidote – acceptance, compassion, love, secure holding in relationship and in community, creating emotional safety. Therapy at best offers this at a foundational level, supporting our journeys into healing and growth.

Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter

This entry was posted in Aaron Paquette, abuse, acceptance, child development, childhood abuse, compulsive behaviour, consciousness, core conditions, cultural questions, Disconnection, emotions, Gabor Mate, growth, healing, love, person centred, power and powerlessness, relationship, therapeutic growth, therapeutic relationship, trauma and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.