Click on the link for this useful and important piece by Vicki Zakrzewski. Gratitude to Sarah for posting this on her Facebook page and introducing us to it.
We notice a lot of subtle (and less subtle) gender prejudice affecting men and boys in our culture, often little acknowledged or addressed. This seems to us a particularly disempowering and destructive aspect of that – it serves no-one for us to disconnect our boys from their feeling selves.
This is also about collective responsibility (supporting individual responsibility). Our cultural structures lead to the disconnection of men and boys from their feeling selves and their empathy, then stigmatize, blame and scapegoat them when they live this through. It would serve us to change this – in our parenting, educating, communication and in throwing overboard unhelpful models of judgement, fault and blame.
We love the story with which Vicki ends this piece:-
‘One of my colleagues at the Greater Good Science Center recently told me a story about her second grade son who was upset that his classmates were laughing at a boy who had to step into the hallway to compose himself after getting frustrated. “I think we need to talk about how we all feel right now,” my colleague’s son told everyone.’
Good for him. Grateful for the masculine.
Palace Gate Counselling Service, Exeter